As far as color, skin, sharpness, shape, what could I have done differently and what should I do to improve what I have? Lips and eyes are a dead, but I think that has to do with the photograph itself.
I think you've lost too much depth in the cheek area; looks very flat to me and almost like the skin is now very taut.
Eyes could possibly be lightened a bit. Do you have the original RAW? Perhaps do a conversion to bring out the eyes more and then mask in.
Some details I would address:
- either clone out the standalone hairs along the right-hand side of the left-eyebrow (left as in viewing the image; not her left). Or, fill in with painted hair to remove the bare spots. (thus matching the other eyebrow better).
- also paint in a few bare spots along the top middle of the left eyebrow.
- for some reason (optical illusion?) her right-hand nostril looks odd. probably the shadow beneath it. to me, it's like her nose is crooked. Nothing wrong with asymmetry of course though.
- Corners of lips need a bit more color; seems a bit bleached (especially right-hand side)
- Could use a few painted in lashes on her left-hand eye, but should definitely add some to the right side as the lashes there are so much shorter.
- I would have left the mark under the left-hand eye. But would have addressed the dark and white spot on it (i.e. give it consistent tone and a more flat appearance).