login info join!
Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > SF2: Ess Effin Two > Emotional day Search   Reply
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


I've not really been online much for the past month, at least not around here. Since I wrote that really long thread a month or so ago about my confusion over my job, and the direction of my life, I sort of went into my own head and tried to spend time thinking hard about things, and planning. I haven't really talked to anyone much, even my boyfriend - who would probably have a hard time understanding where I'm coming from completely, though he is the first person who really voiced, "You know, they treat you kind of shitty there, and you make nothing."

As of today, I turned in my letter of resignation, asking to be allowed to finish up the 8 weeks I have remaining with my obese client, who has been making considerable progress. I also want to move my remaining healthier clients (there are only 6 altogether, though four will be out of training during the next month) gradually over to other trainers, in a more slow, gradual way - rather than just announce I'm dumping them, and being gone in two weeks. We will see how that works out. Hopefully, I will be allowed the time I need, so my people will feel like the transitions are smooth, not sudden and hurtful.

I know I am making the right decision. I've been thinking about it since August, and there's no use beating a dead horse by staying somewhere I'm not only not making a living, but where the business model and the focus of the company conflicts so strongly with my own ethics.

Despite this, I do feel sad. This is the first job I've ever left where I feel sad. I'm going to miss my coworkers, and the sense of camaraderie we all had together. It's this feeling that I'm moving in a more focused, deliberate direction, but that direction requires taking a big leap out into space, which is terrifying. Seeing one part of my life fade away, so that another can begin is also terrifying. I've taken a lot of crazy risks in the past, and everything always worked out. This one - which is so much more *sane* when I think about it, than many of the others have been - feels so huge. By freeing myself from one thing, I'm simultaneously committing myself to go after something new, better, and not easy to accomplish.
Sep 23 13 01:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Artist/Painter
Two Pears Studio
Posts: 3,334
Wilmington, Delaware, US


It will be exactly what you needed.
Sep 23 13 02:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Vintagevista
Posts: 10,847
Sun City, California, US


You'll always have us. smile  We like you and always wish the best for you and help if we can.

I know that's mostly a small comfort


A very small comfort...



A

Small

Creepy



Comfort.
Sep 23 13 02:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
DivaEroticus
Posts: 14,553
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US


I envy you your ability to not only accept change, but to actually change.  You're doing what's best for you, and that's the key.  Knowing you, I know it will be a successful change. smile
Sep 23 13 03:06 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Thank you guys. I really do appreciate it.

I'm not doubting that it's a good thing. It's just been a lot to decide, then it was very hard to follow through with, but with the worst part over and the resignation turned in, I feel a lot of relief.

I went home and made sweet potatoes with roasted mashed garlic, and am watching last night's episode of Breaking Bad. It almost feels like a regular day again. smile
Sep 23 13 03:27 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


DivaEroticus wrote:
I envy you your ability to not only accept change, but to actually change.  You're doing what's best for you, and that's the key.  Knowing you, I know it will be a successful change. smile

Well, when I finished my trainer's certification course, back in summer 2012 and got one of the first jobs I applied to, I knew that I didn't want to work in chain gyms for very long. I took that job planning on making it a learning experience, using it to grow and learn for a year or two, then moving on. I accomplished that - I learned; I got experience through a reputable company, and now have client references, and a small list of successes. I'm so much better off today than I was a year and a half ago, and the job served its purpose. I wasn't really expecting things to become so blatantly obvious when it was coming up time for me to move forward into the next stage, however. I was expecting a gradual transition, something more natural. Some time around August, it was like the floor fell out from under me, and suddenly I'd gotten all I could get out of it, and it was time to look elsewhere for opportunities. When I was done, I was really, really done.

Sep 23 13 03:36 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Isis22
Posts: 2,486
Muncie, Indiana, US


It takes guts to do what you did. I think you did it in the right way for everyone as well.
Sep 23 13 03:47 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Marc Damon
Posts: 6,562
Biloxi, Mississippi, US


We (I especially) post a lot of irreverent, snarky, humorous things here on MM and especially in SF2. This is not one of those posts.


A very wise man once told me that when you die, you only take two things with you
1. Your character.
2. Your integrity.
and the best you can hope is for someone whose character and integrity is 100% intact to show up at your funeral and eulogize "She was a good, honest person, both to herself and to others.

Koryn, you have made a decision to hold your character and integrity high, above reproach. Kudos to you and good luck on your next adventure. smile
Sep 23 13 05:30 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SPierce Photography
Posts: 19,662
Amherst, Massachusetts, US


You're doing the right thing borat hope it all works out and everything is OK!!
Sep 23 13 06:25 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
MesmerEyes Photography
Posts: 2,937
Tyler, Texas, US


As you can tell from everyone's comments, we are all pulling for you to land on your feet and accomplish your goals. Stick to your guns and I'm sure you will succeed. wink
Sep 23 13 07:04 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Zebadiah _MI
Posts: 13,377
Ann Arbor, Michigan, US


I hope you can get the transition with your clients both for you and for them.  About 2 yrs ago the instructor that I was connecting with at the gym had a bad falling out with the owner in the gym and it was really disruptive for everyone.  Two other members that had been part of our weekly session quit right after that and it ended classes there for about 6 months.  It really put me off because I just didn't connect with the other trainers and it felt like they were showing up to get paid and I didn't feel any support connection with them.
Sep 23 13 08:32 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Amadea T
Posts: 3,396
Columbus, Ohio, US


DivaEroticus wrote:
I envy you your ability to not only accept change, but to actually change.  You're doing what's best for you, and that's the key.  Knowing you, I know it will be a successful change. smile

+1

Too many talkers, not enough doers...

Hugs.

*Pops bottle of bubbly without spilling a drop* Here's to positive changes, although they may be hard at first!

Sep 24 13 07:02 am  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


I have two weeks to transition my clients. It's not enough to make it go as smoothly as I wanted, but it's better than nothing. Turns out, I was about to get a write up anyway. My sales were too low for too long. I sort of avoided a bullet, in a really coincidental way.

The regional manager and I had a meeting. I had some tears, because I admitted that, while fitness industry is where my heart is, it's just not in a commercial chain gym. He gave me a big hug, and told me we should stay in contact. It has been a brutal couple of days, but in a way, it ended on a happy note. Two weeks from now, I start waitressing an extra day per week and hoarding money to go toward my first tuition payment in January.

I've been in and out of school so many times now. Most people who say that, say it because shit comes up and they can't finish the programs. I finish everything I start, but end up back again eventually just trying to find something that works. At least in that regard, I'm a really well-educated person. Lol
Sep 24 13 11:21 am  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Eurocat wrote:

+1

Too many talkers, not enough doers...

Hugs.

*Pops bottle of bubbly without spilling a drop* Here's to positive changes, although they may be hard at first!

God, I wish I was closer to you guys so we could have a party for real. I'm sitting in a coffee shop, drinking espresso, with that post-tears frog in my throat

Sep 24 13 11:23 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Damon Banner
Posts: 85,288
Hayward, California, US


*naked hugs*

you did the right thing
*gropes*
Sep 24 13 11:31 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Lohkee
Posts: 12,262
Maricopa, Arizona, US


You will eventually find what you deserve, and deserve what you find. I'm not a religious kind of person, but send you this old Irish blessing anyway . . . .

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

May God be with you and bless you:
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.

May green be the grass you walk on,
May blue be the skies above you,
May pure be the joys that surround you,
May true be the hearts that love you.

Cue the Byrds -  Turn turn turn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

Good luck and godspeed, young lady (feel free to substitute the word "universe" for "god"). You will be just fine.
Sep 24 13 12:53 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


I really appreciate all the support. You don't know how much it means to me.

I never knew that quitting a job would be so hard. I guess it all depends on how invested you are/were in it, and that job held a lot of meaning for me - at least when I first started. That's obviously changed, because my life has changed, and my needs have started to become more apparent. It's really been a serious learning experience, all around.
Sep 24 13 02:31 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Model Sarah
Posts: 38,909
Columbus, Ohio, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
I really appreciate all the support. You don't know how much it means to me.

I never knew that quitting a job would be so hard. I guess it all depends on how invested you are/were in it, and that job held a lot of meaning for me - at least when I first started. That's obviously changed, because my life has changed, and my needs have started to become more apparent. It's really been a serious learning experience, all around.

And that is what life is all about. smile

Sep 25 13 07:38 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Compass Rose Studios
Posts: 15,979
Portland, Oregon, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
but that direction requires taking a big leap out into space, which is terrifying.

I'll bet you'll look back on this and see it as a good move.  The only thing you mentioned that could backfire is the 8 weeks notice thing.  In my experience, the more notice an employer has (beyond 2 weeks), the more they get up to shenanigans...though I understand you're doing it with your client's best interest in mind. 

I don't know what your plans are, but I hope you can find a way to make training work for you as independent.  I've recently come to the realization that in the new economy being paid what you're worth just isn't on the table for most careers.  Capitalism is a runaway train and the bottomline is the only thing that matters. 

If you're ever going to enjoy the fruits of your surplus labor, you've got to work for yourself.  Sorry to get all Marx up in SF2 but after 5 years at a corporate desk job I've realized most companies see you as nothing more than human capital.  And they'll expend tremendous amounts of energy to try and figure out how to make you cheaper, faster or replaceable. 

I'd rather work 60-70 hour weeks and run my own show than 40 - 50 hour week for someone else.  And now I'm going down the long road to find a way to make that happen. 

I hope you can do the same.  Best of luck!

Sep 25 13 01:43 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Model Sarah
Posts: 38,909
Columbus, Ohio, US


Compass Rose Studios wrote:

I'll bet you'll look back on this and see it as a good move.  The only thing you mentioned that could backfire is the 8 weeks notice thing.  In my experience, the more notice an employer has (beyond 2 weeks), the more they get up to shenanigans...though I understand you're doing it with your client's best interest in mind. 

I don't know what your plans are, but I hope you can find a way to make training work for you as independent.  I've recently come to the realization that in the new economy being paid what you're worth just isn't on the table for most careers.  Capitalism is a runaway train and the bottomline is the only thing that matters. 

If you're ever going to enjoy the fruits of your surplus labor, you've got to work for yourself.  Sorry to get all Marx up in SF2 but after 5 years at a corporate desk job I've realized most companies see you as nothing more than human capital.  And they'll expend tremendous amounts of energy to try and figure out how to make you cheaper, faster or replaceable.


I'd rather work 60-70 hour weeks and run my own show than 40 - 50 hour week for someone else.  And now I'm going down the long road to find a way to make that happen. 

I hope you can do the same.  Best of luck!

^^^That. All of that.

Sep 25 13 01:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Artist/Painter
sdgillis
Posts: 2,434
Portland, Oregon, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
I never knew that quitting a job would be so hard

just shows you are dedicated.

Sep 25 13 05:09 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Compass Rose Studios wrote:
I'll bet you'll look back on this and see it as a good move.  The only thing you mentioned that could backfire is the 8 weeks notice thing.  In my experience, the more notice an employer has (beyond 2 weeks), the more they get up to shenanigans...though I understand you're doing it with your client's best interest in mind. 

I don't know what your plans are, but I hope you can find a way to make training work for you as independent.  I've recently come to the realization that in the new economy being paid what you're worth just isn't on the table for most careers.  Capitalism is a runaway train and the bottomline is the only thing that matters. 

If you're ever going to enjoy the fruits of your surplus labor, you've got to work for yourself.  Sorry to get all Marx up in SF2 but after 5 years at a corporate desk job I've realized most companies see you as nothing more than human capital.  And they'll expend tremendous amounts of energy to try and figure out how to make you cheaper, faster or replaceable. 

I'd rather work 60-70 hour weeks and run my own show than 40 - 50 hour week for someone else.  And now I'm going down the long road to find a way to make that happen. 

I hope you can do the same.  Best of luck!

They told me I had two weeks, and that was that. If I'm not actively making sales, I'm costing them money to keep on, even to finish out with my clients so they won't feel cheated. The gym I work for cares NOTHING about the clients; they're just numbers and dollar signs. If I had any question about that, the fact that it was company policy to be gone in two weeks ... it just kind of proved it to me. If you work there, either you're constantly generating new revenue as quickly as possible, with as many people as possible, or you're worthless and out asap. It's really that cut and dried to them.

In all honesty, I'm pretty radically left-wing. There's not much that makes me more pissed off than conventional American capitalism in all its pomp and exploitation. I just try not to think about it too hard, because I have to live in a world where people's ideas about what constitutes success are totally fucked up.

One of my big dreams is being able to buy a mini-farm with a bunch of land, invite everyone I care most about to come live and work with me, and try to get as close to self-sustaining as possible, with people sharing labor and resources - which is REAL capital, real value. It's probably naive, and generally when I mention that, people laugh about me being a socialist to the bone, but ...I yam what I yam.

Sep 25 13 06:32 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
scrymettet
Posts: 31,930
Quebec, Quebec, Canada


Compass Rose Studios wrote:
...I've realized most companies see you as nothing more than human capital....

human resources that can be trade and replaced as any other resources.
Resources aren't capital but expenses

Sep 25 13 06:46 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
A S Photography
Posts: 1,215
Newark, Delaware, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
They told me I had two weeks, and that was that. If I'm not actively making sales, I'm costing them money to keep on, even to finish out with my clients so they won't feel cheated. The gym I work for cares NOTHING about the clients; they're just numbers and dollar signs. If I had any question about that, the fact that it was company policy to be gone in two weeks ... it just kind of proved it to me. If you work there, either you're constantly generating new revenue as quickly as possible, with as many people as possible, or you're worthless and out asap. It's really that cut and dried to them.

They care about their clients.  Well, they care about keeping their clients - that is  their revenue.

What they are probably concerned about - and not telling you - is that you will continue to be a trainer and would use the eight weeks to steal their clients.  (The issue is not whether or not you personally would.  Many people have stolen clients (or client lists), so a lot of companies ignore what they think of their employee and, to play it safe, either kick the (now former) employee out immediately or reduce their opportunity to divert clients to someone else.)

Sep 25 13 07:24 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Compass Rose Studios
Posts: 15,979
Portland, Oregon, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
One of my big dreams is being able to buy a mini-farm with a bunch of land, invite everyone I care most about to come live and work with me, and try to get as close to self-sustaining as possible, with people sharing labor and resources - which is REAL capital, real value. It's probably naive, and generally when I mention that, people laugh about me being a socialist to the bone, but ...I yam what I yam.

I agree.  My plan b's similar to that if plan a doesn't work out.  But the initial cost would be substantial.  I'm also exploring options with less savings required.

Sep 25 13 08:00 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Compass Rose Studios wrote:

I agree.  My plan b's similar to that if plan a doesn't work out.  But the initial cost would be substantial.  I'm also exploring options with less savings required.

It feels like money has caused me nothing but misery since I was a little kid. I don't want to have much to do with it. I don't even really want to get more of it, or accumulate it. I want to build a life based on producing things that are real and have value and produce life and happiness, and something that when you put love into it, will regenerate itself. People say that about business building, but I don't see that many people investing love into creating successful businesses. Mostly they're just putting greed and swagger into it. It seems like the businesses people actually start out from a place of love and faith just end up failing and getting closed,
or being sold to someone who will turn it into another greed-factory. Success in this system isn't built on doing what you care about, and caring about those who rely on your product or service. It's about ripping them off to get ahead and that just plain sucks.

Sep 26 13 06:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
MB JenB
Posts: 2,980
Clarksville, Tennessee, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
...
I've been in and out of school so many times now. Most people who say that, say it because shit comes up and they can't finish the programs. I finish everything I start, but end up back again eventually just trying to find something that works. At least in that regard, I'm a really well-educated person. Lol

Life intervenes and you are moving through towards completing your goal. wink

It took me 15 years from start of my associates degree towards completion of my MS degree and about 6 school transfers due to location of living and cost of school.

I stopped for a year in the middle and went part time a couple of times, (and was working full time,) I knew I had to complete. It changed my life.

YOU are putting yourself BACK on track. Congratulations!!

Jen

Koryn Locke wrote:
...
One of my big dreams is being able to buy a mini-farm with a bunch of land, invite everyone I care most about to come live and work with me, and try to get as close to self-sustaining as possible, with people sharing labor and resources - which is REAL capital, real value. It's probably naive, and generally when I mention that, people laugh about me being a socialist to the bone, but ...I yam what I yam.

Like a modern day commune? I know they are here and international and just did a search and see they are now called, "co-housing" or intentional living or ecovillages. http://www.ic.org/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/2 … Ithaca_New

Sep 27 13 12:31 am  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Koryn
Posts: 36,354
Boston, Massachusetts, US


MyrnaByrna Jen B wrote:

Koryn Locke wrote:
...
I've been in and out of school so many times now. Most people who say that, say it because shit comes up and they can't finish the programs. I finish everything I start, but end up back again eventually just trying to find something that works. At least in that regard, I'm a really well-educated person. Lol

Life intervenes and you are moving through towards completing your goal. wink

It took me 15 years from start of my associates degree towards completion of my MS degree and about 6 school transfers due to location of living and cost of school.

I stopped for a year in the middle and went part time a couple of times, (and was working full time,) I knew I had to complete. It changed my life.

YOU are putting yourself BACK on track. Congratulations!!

Jen

Like a modern day commune? I know they are here and international and just did a search and see they are now called, "co-housing" or intentional living or ecovillages. http://www.ic.org/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/2 … Ithaca_New

Well, I finished my bachelor's in 2004, then went through an online learning program to get my trainers certification, which took another year, and now yoga teacher school will take another year so it will be six years altogether. It took me only 4.5 years to complete my bachelor's, but then doing all sorts of things after that trying to find out how to make myself marketable in a practical way has added up to an incredible amount of additional schooling. I also have to re-update my basic trainers cert in 2014, and get a group exercise cert as well. That will require some continuing education credits, on top of already being in a yoga teacher program, and then large tests for both the cert update and the group ex cert.

Sep 27 13 09:21 am  Link  Quote 
Model
MB JenB
Posts: 2,980
Clarksville, Tennessee, US


Koryn Locke wrote:
Well, I finished my bachelor's in 2004, then went through an online learning program to get my trainers certification, which took another year, and now yoga teacher school will take another year so it will be six years altogether. It took me only 4.5 years to complete my bachelor's, but then doing all sorts of things after that trying to find out how to make myself marketable in a practical way has added up to an incredible amount of additional schooling. I also have to re-update my basic trainers cert in 2014, and get a group exercise cert as well. That will require some continuing education credits, on top of already being in a yoga teacher program, and then large tests for both the cert update and the group ex cert.

http://www.ic.org/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/2 … Ithaca_New
You are doing it. smile
By the way I checked out the links above for ecovillages and cohousing and the first one above has loads of information and contacts. smile

Sep 27 13 10:00 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Cosplay Creatives
Posts: 10,714
Amundsen-Scott - permanent station of the US, Unclaimed Sector, Antarctica


Do what is best for you.  Granted at this point in life for me, money is not the end goal.  Education will make you smarter and it doesn't matter if you will actually use it for a job.  Sometimes we educate ourselves and learn things for our own purposes outside our career paths.

I wish you the best.
Sep 27 13 01:36 pm  Link  Quote 
  Search   Reply



main | browse | casting/travel | forums | shout box | help | advertising | contests | share | join the mayhem

more modelmayhem on: | | | edu

©2006-2014 ModelMayhem.com. All Rights Reserved.
MODEL MAYHEM is a registered trademark.
Toggle Worksafe Mode: Off | On
Terms | Privacy | Careers