Forums > General Industry > Nude Shoot with friends wife

Photographer

JChase Photos

Posts: 1

Sanford, Alabama, US

I would treat them like any other professional client. Nothing more - nothing less.
and make sure the better half os there at the shoot with you both

Jun 14 08 03:23 pm Link

Photographer

WayneB

Posts: 43

CLINTON TOWNSHIP, Michigan, US

Sophistocles wrote:
Dear Penthouse - I never believed those letters about "swingers" until I got this interesting invitation from some friends of mine. You see, I'm a photographer, and...

LOL!

Jun 14 08 03:26 pm Link

Photographer

Barrett Photos

Posts: 2626

Parkville, Maryland, US

Patrick Shipstad wrote:
I'd take it as a compliment. They obviously feel comfortable with you, they've discussed it and feel you are the one to trust with those kind of sensitive shots. I'd be honored and I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I agree 100%

Jun 14 08 03:29 pm Link

Photographer

Jeff Fiore

Posts: 9225

Brooklyn, New York, US

I had shot nudes of my close friend's wife. He insisted on it because he trusted me.

Jun 14 08 03:30 pm Link

Photographer

De Sousa

Posts: 29

Lisbon, Lisboa e Vale do Tejo, Portugal

Outlaw Imagery wrote:
A friend of mine just called me and ask if I would take some pics of his wife. I said sure, she is very pretty, great body. I asked what type and he said erotic nude. I said yes, but then I thought is this crossing the line. I am the godfather to there children. The artist in me says do it a shoot is a shoot, but the friend in me says this might be "To Much Info" about his wife. Did I mention he wants erotic nudes, not basic or implied nudes. Your thoughts.

There's only a few things you should be concerned:
1. Have the batteries charged wink
2. There's good light in the spot or should you bring the lights?
3. Study some killer compositions and ask them to pose
4. Be professional

Jun 14 08 03:35 pm Link

Photographer

L Raye

Posts: 5045

Petaluma, California, US

Just make sure both of them are comfortable with the erotic shots, otherwise, try to tame it down.

I've remained good friends with several couples I've photographed, some more than once.

Jun 14 08 03:37 pm Link

Photographer

Roberto Aquilano

Posts: 121

Rome, Lazio, Italy

As a lot of other posters have already said, they really trust you, which is absolutely fine.

If you feel like doing it keeping it professional, perfect, go ahead and do it.

My .02 :

Trust them as they trust you:

1) Give them the originals of your work and if possible shoot in film and hand them the negatives or the slides.

2) Never, EVER, unless THEY bring it up, talk about it. And even if they bring it up, no matter what, keep it very low profile.

This is what I have done the two times it happened to me. Forst time a shot film, second time i deleted all the shots from my PC in front of them, once finished PP and all.

Just my toughts, mind you.

Jun 14 08 03:56 pm Link

Model

Scott M of Austin

Posts: 110

Austin, Texas, US

He trusts you. His wife trusts you. Do it.

Jun 14 08 03:59 pm Link

Model

Mary40

Posts: 239

Ann Arbor, Michigan, US

Why is he asking?  She can ask herself.

Jun 14 08 04:00 pm Link

Photographer

lightsandshadow

Posts: 2200

New York, New York, US

I agree with those that say it is a compliment.  They are friends and they trust you will not only do a good job but they trust you to be open enough to the experience to share it with you.
I'd do it.

Jun 14 08 04:01 pm Link

Photographer

Jay Edwards

Posts: 18616

Fort Lauderdale, Florida, US

Similar situation.  I turned it down because wifey seemed a little too eager to get naked for me.  They later divorced due to her infidelity...

Jun 14 08 04:02 pm Link

Photographer

TFF GLAMOUR PHOTOGRAPHY

Posts: 29

Baldwinsville, New York, US

It seems to me that there must be a little history here.
They must know that you do this kind of work and maybe talked with you about it.
I would just confirm before the shoot that she wants this to take place as well.
That he isn't pushing her to do this just for himself.
If he isn't the jealous type of any sort and you talk to both of them(and they seem cool about it) I would go ahead.
I think I would get together with them before the shoot just to talk about it and be sure your on the same page.
Are these pics just for them or will they sign a release so you can use them as samples of your work.  If you wanted to. 
Tim

Jun 14 08 04:12 pm Link

Photographer

EnlightendedPhotography

Posts: 828

Eugene, Oregon, US

Been there, done that, and got the t-shirts.

Recommend you make up a NON - model release for the wife.... I wrote up a three paragraph memo for signature that says, who, what, when, where, why and how about the photos and the negative (if any).

I found this puts everything into a professional context and everyone knows what is to be expected. 

Good luck and never turn down an opportunity to create art... there is a difference between art and a snapshot. 

After the photo session and you deliver the pictures / CD / negatives etc.. don't mention the experience unless they bring it up.

Jun 14 08 04:13 pm Link

Publication

Dezzi for North America

Posts: 861

New York, New York, US

Sophistocles wrote:
Dear Penthouse - I never believed those letters about "swingers" until I got this interesting invitation from some friends of mine. You see, I'm a photographer, and...

That's what I was thinking... Sounds like they dont want to flat out say it but erotic nudes vs just saying nudes...

Hey we will publish the story and photos ;0)

B (o) (o)bies always get print!

Just becareful on the friendship

Jun 14 08 04:18 pm Link

Photographer

No One of Consequence

Posts: 2980

Winchester, Virginia, US

Outlaw Imagery wrote:

I do feel honored and I am going to do it, I just don't want any weirdness after the shoot.

Be professional about it and there will be no weirdness.  Just treat her like you would any other client.

I've done nude shoots for several of my wife's friends, a coworker and his wife, and a couple other people I know socially.   Nothing changed between myself and any of those people after I shot them nude.

Jun 14 08 04:24 pm Link

Photographer

Morton Visuals

Posts: 1773

Hope, Idaho, US

Strangely enough, I've had more women tell me that they wish they'd shot with me before they knew me. Now that we know each other, they think they'd feel weird getting naked in front of someone they know (having someone that they socialize with see *all* of them). But they'd do it for a stranger. I kinda understand that... I guess... but then again I'm still bothered by it a bit... Even though I shouldn't be - it's totally their choice. I know, I'm weird...

Jun 14 08 04:25 pm Link

Photographer

Gary Melton

Posts: 6680

Dallas, Texas, US

Outlaw Imagery wrote:
A friend of mine just called me and ask if I would take some pics of his wife. I said sure, she is very pretty, great body. I asked what type and he said erotic nude. I said yes, but then I thought is this crossing the line. I am the godfather to there children. The artist in me says do it a shoot is a shoot, but the friend in me says this might be "To Much Info" about his wife. Did I mention he wants erotic nudes, not basic or implied nudes. Your thoughts.

Yeah - like some others have said - just be professional.  Shoot her like you'd shoot a model you didn't know and it should be fine.

Jun 14 08 04:27 pm Link

Photographer

v2lab

Posts: 1557

Orlando, Florida, US

they might - more-so want to have it done - and trust that the photos will not end up in the wrong places

Jun 14 08 04:29 pm Link

Photographer

No One of Consequence

Posts: 2980

Winchester, Virginia, US

Jeff Fiore wrote:
I had shot nudes of my close friend's wife. He insisted on it because he trusted me.

That is the situation with my coworker and his wife.   They had been wanting to have it done for a while, but never did because they didn't know a photographer they could trust for something like that.

Jun 14 08 04:30 pm Link

Photographer

JV Archer

Posts: 386

Great Falls, Montana, US

If you want to keep that friend/professional separation, charge them your normal day or half-day rate.

Oh, and don't take any inflatable sheep to the shoot. That would just be wrong. smile

Jun 14 08 04:32 pm Link

Photographer

Lumigraphics

Posts: 32780

Detroit, Michigan, US

Just do it! I don't get where the weirdness would come from. If you see an old g/f that you've slept with, is that awkward? Is it awkward if you ran into your doctor in town, who has seen you naked?

Jun 14 08 04:41 pm Link

Model

Sugar Ray

Posts: 325

Miami, Arizona, US

Ed Stevenson wrote:
In my mind, this boils down to business.

I would treat them like any other professional client. Nothing more - nothing less.

If I did that type of work, sure.

If I did not do that type of work, referral.

Done!

Exactly.  If you can't be objective, what does it say about you when you shoot other models nude?  Are you just a gwc??

Btw, I'm not attacking.  I viewed your port, I know you're a professional. smile

Jun 14 08 04:44 pm Link

Model

just jray

Posts: 286

Stephenville, Texas, US

I think I can beat that, photographer friend wanted me to pose nude with his wife in duo nude shots.  She wanted to do it also.

Seemed too weird for me so I passed.

Jun 14 08 04:49 pm Link

Photographer

Alluring Exposures

Posts: 11400

Casa Grande, Arizona, US

I see nothing wrong with that. I've done it several times and it has not affected the friendships I had at all. Just keep it professional. Don't dwell on or "memorize" anything you see or learn during the session.

Jun 14 08 04:54 pm Link

Photographer

SummersPhotography

Posts: 1

Seattle, Washington, US

I had this offer three times.  I was only unsure the first time, because that time and the two that followed turned out some wonderful images and in a way deepend our friendships.

Give it a shot and keep it professional.  You'll drop into photgrapher mode and they'll see and understand that completely.

Jun 14 08 04:54 pm Link

Photographer

TouchofEleganceStudios

Posts: 5477

Vallejo, California, US

jkudzu wrote:
I think I can beat that, photographer friend wanted me to pose nude with his wife in duo nude shots.  She wanted to do it also.

Seemed too weird for me so I passed.

You can pose nude with my ex wife anytime.........please

Jun 14 08 04:54 pm Link

Photographer

Fotomoon

Posts: 70

Somerset, New Jersey, US

i say don't do it.
not worth the possible long term issues. I never want my friends to see my wife in the nude. She's "my" wife. When someone walks in on your woman naked it stick with you LOL. If i had to i'd prefer a stranger. this way there will never be any thoughts later. its a weird request to me from a friend. while he sits there. now spread your right leg just a little more hummmmmmmmmmm. I had a friend do something similar and his friend flip out on his
be afraid very afraid and move aaawwaaayyyyyy from the misses
follow your gut

Jun 14 08 04:57 pm Link

Photographer

Jones Photo Model Mgmt

Posts: 27

Fayetteville, Arkansas, US

This is a no brainer. You are on MM to network with other photogs, muas, etc. You refer them to you fav photog on this one. You never want to compromise yourself for the art. Ome wrong move or gesture on either part and you relationship is over. Friendship is worth more than a nude pic anyday!

Jun 14 08 05:00 pm Link

Photographer

Mike Kelcher

Posts: 13322

Minneapolis, Minnesota, US

You should really turn it down and have me do it.

Jun 14 08 05:00 pm Link

Model

Sugar Ray

Posts: 325

Miami, Arizona, US

jkudzu wrote:
I think I can beat that, photographer friend wanted me to pose nude with his wife in duo nude shots.  She wanted to do it also.

Seemed too weird for me so I passed.

dont drink much do ya?  it takes three to two-step, ya know.

Jun 14 08 05:02 pm Link

Photographer

Mac Wolff

Posts: 3665

Litchfield Park, Arizona, US

Joe Koz - GWC wrote:

You're a photographer. They trust you. Work hard to give them what they want.

My sentiments exactly!!!

Jun 14 08 05:04 pm Link

Photographer

DVP Photography

Posts: 2874

Broomfield, Colorado, US

Sit down and talk to both of them together about it over coffee.  Make sure you discuss what they mean by "erotic" so that is clear.  Then, go with your instinct based on how good your friendship is and what they really want.

Jun 14 08 06:19 pm Link

Photographer

Lumigraphics

Posts: 32780

Detroit, Michigan, US

Fotomoon wrote:
i say don't do it.
not worth the possible long term issues. I never want my friends to see my wife in the nude. She's "my" wife. When someone walks in on your woman naked it stick with you LOL. If i had to i'd prefer a stranger. this way there will never be any thoughts later. its a weird request to me from a friend. while he sits there. now spread your right leg just a little more hummmmmmmmmmm. I had a friend do something similar and his friend flip out on his
be afraid very afraid and move aaawwaaayyyyyy from the misses
follow your gut

Did she have any boyfriends before you? If so, you realize that she has had someone else's cock inside her right? How does that stick with you? What if you are with her one day when you run into one of those old boyfriends? How do you feel then?

Jun 14 08 07:39 pm Link

Model

SophieS

Posts: 1024

Shanghai, Shanghai, China

Bernie Browder  wrote:

I guess my first thought is, how does SHE feel about it?

Lol she doesn't have a say in it, he's hiding in the wardrobe tongue.

Jun 14 08 07:53 pm Link

Model

SophieS

Posts: 1024

Shanghai, Shanghai, China

Lumigraphics wrote:

Did she have any boyfriends before you? If so, you realize that she has had someone else's cock inside her right? How does that stick with you? What if you are with her one day when you run into one of those old boyfriends? How do you feel then?

I do kinda see what he means though. Even if the OP acts completely professional it could be that his friend will be come paranoid afterwards and turn nothings into something, like eye contact for too long or a completely unrelated remark. His friend may think he is referencing the shoot when he isn't etc.

Jun 14 08 08:05 pm Link

Photographer

MC Photo

Posts: 4144

New York, New York, US

Outlaw Imagery wrote:
A friend of mine just called me and ask if I would take some pics of his wife. I said sure, she is very pretty, great body. I asked what type and he said erotic nude. I said yes, but then I thought is this crossing the line. I am the godfather to there children. The artist in me says do it a shoot is a shoot, but the friend in me says this might be "To Much Info" about his wife. Did I mention he wants erotic nudes, not basic or implied nudes. Your thoughts.

I don't see anything wrong with doing it, but weigh the risk of saying yes and saying no. If you do it, it's the kind of thing that one of them could regret later and cuase problems within your friendship. Saying no could maybe leave them felling a little offended, but if you explain that you don't want to risk the friendship, then I'm sure they'll understand. No is the safer answer.

I'd say no and if they persist ask for money which makes it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that they want you to do it and it pushes it into a professional context and out of a personal one.

Jun 14 08 08:35 pm Link

Model

just jray

Posts: 286

Stephenville, Texas, US

Ruben Grolet wrote:

You can pose nude with my ex wife anytime.........please

LOL hmmm do you have a pic of her?

Jun 14 08 11:16 pm Link

Model

just jray

Posts: 286

Stephenville, Texas, US

Sugar Ray wrote:

dont drink much do ya?  it takes three to two-step, ya know.

Ok I think it was really a matter of finding the "right" model/wife to pose with!  Is your husband a photographer??? ;-)

Jun 14 08 11:20 pm Link

Photographer

FredGreenwoodPhotograph

Posts: 25

Pueblo, Colorado, US

I myself have been in this situation more than once not only with friends but relatives as well.I take it as a compliment.
They already know several things that puts them at ease before we ever start. and no nothing has ever been wierd afterwords.
Number 1 I am always professional no matter who it is.
number 2 they know that they can trust that I will never post or display their images any where no matter what.
In this type of shoot one has to choose wisely and trust who they have do the shoot.
Fred

Jun 14 08 11:28 pm Link

Photographer

BW SMITH

Posts: 741

Saginaw, Michigan, US

I say go for it as long as you're comfortable and feel you can pull it off. You don't want the images to suffer because of your awkwardness, so if you don't feel right doing it then refer them to someone else. Otherwise I say go for it. They obviously came to you, meaning they're fine with it and trust you to do it.

They may be more offended if you turn it down, showing that you can't trust yourself to do such a thing.

I can pretty much see both sides of it so it all comes down to how you feel about it and making the decision yourself!

Jun 14 08 11:31 pm Link