Lyra Jayne wrote:
Wow.

I don't really know much about it, but could you charge him with sexual harassment?

You probably could, or you could stand up for yourself and handle it they way the OP did.

K E E L I N G wrote:

You probably could, or you could stand up for yourself and handle it they way the OP did.

So your saying she should do nothing after the act?

FootNote Fotography wrote:

So your saying she should do nothing after the act?

She did do something, she stood up for herself and put an end to it.

Bruce Hart wrote:
rather than warning the photographer i think you should have just left straight away. why put up with that kind of behavior? it's a photo shoot, not a threesome. some photographers seem to act as though they've hired an escort.

She did leave.

Tony Lawrence wrote:
OP, did you tell your husband?   If you didn't I'd understand it might have
caused some serious problems or a fight.   You did the right thing
although many of the models I know who have slapped him as well.
Report his actions to who ever is in charge.   Now that its past talk to
your husband about if if you didn't.

Samsters wrote:
The photographer apologized, BUT even afterward it was awkward and the photographer constantly reminded me and my husband (who was also shooting) that he was a guy and that he enjoyed what he was looking at and shooting.

K E E L I N G wrote:
She did leave.

Bruce Hart wrote:
maybe i misread it but it seemed like she stayed for a time after the initial groping. my thought was she should have left immediately upon the initial grope.

Could be, she doesn't really say how long she stayed after.. just that she left earlier than she would have because of what happened.

Samsters wrote:
FootNote Fotography


What does CAM mean?

And where do I send this to?

CAM means Contact a Moderator.  I'm not sure how much they'll be able to do, unless there's written harassment from him, since they can't really punish people over "he said/she said" quarrels(Can you imagine how many people would be contacting them over flakes, or trying to get more images?).  I've reported other members(in my modeling days) for sending lewd notes, or trying to solicit me.  But with the messages in writing, it's easy to see what happened.

Personally, I think you handled it right.  A lot of times, it's intimidating standing up to someone in a position of power over you(Even if it's just wanting to maintain a polite relationship so you can get your images from the shoot).  I think your way was good.  And his behavior was ABSOLUTELY inappropriate.

Samsters wrote:
I did speak with this photographer before hand about my limits, so he knew. I am not sure how else I can firmly state you DO NOT EVER touch me, without sounding like a bitch.

Frankly, I can't imagine a model NEEDING to say "don't randomly grab my breasts" as part of pre shoot planning.  I mean, some things ought to be obvious among rational adults.

Art of the nude wrote:

Frankly, I can't imagine a model NEEDING to say "don't randomly grab my breasts" as part of pre shoot planning.  I mean, some things ought to be obvious among rational adults.

I agree with you, some things should be obvious. Leave it to the idiots in the world to create a bad name for the rest.

Samsters wrote:
My husband was present and very upset. He approached the photographer and did tell him he was out of line and that you never approach a model in a manner like that and that he should have more respect for me.

Wait, your husband was there? And that's what he did? Is this guy really big or something?

Samsters wrote:
I did speak with this photographer before hand about my limits, so he knew. I am not sure how else I can firmly state you DO NOT EVER touch me, without sounding like a bitch.

Duncan Hall wrote:

Wait, your husband was there? And that's what he did? Is this guy really big or something?

He was also shooting.

Duncan Hall wrote:
Wait, your husband was there? And that's what he did? Is this guy really big or something?

Bruce Hart wrote:
maybe i misread it but it seemed like she stayed for a time after the initial groping. my thought was she should have left immediately upon the initial grope. the horror story threads often start with "the photographer did this bad thing but i stayed and then he did this bad thing but i stayed ..." just leave already. zero tolerance.

K E E L I N G wrote:
She did leave.

Samsters wrote:
The photographer apologized, BUT even afterward it was awkward and the photographer constantly reminded me and my husband (who was also shooting) that he was a guy and that he enjoyed what he was looking at and shooting.

I am either mis-reading or not understanding this myself.  OP states the photographer "constantly reminded her and husband".   If the photographer was constantly reminding her and the husband, why didn't the husband do something.  What?

....edit.. I see others have already had the same question.

Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first.

So it's your opinion that reacting with violence is safety first? 

Safety first is diffusing the situation, not escalating it.  Reacting with violence is just caveman chest pounding.

Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first.

K E E L I N G wrote:
So it's your opinion that reacting with violence is safety first? 

Safety first is diffusing the situation, not escalating it.  Reacting with violence is just caveman chest pounding.

He doesn't say he'd support punching the guy, just that it wouldn't be a surprise.  And, if you look through the OP's comments, they apparently did stick around for 45 minutes after the incident.  Long enough for the moron to repeatedly attempt to justify himself.

Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.

I wouldn't want a scene. I'd probably tell him later on and also tell him that I handled it in my own way and we won't be shooting together again.

Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.

I'm not saying he should have hit the guy (fuck that, he should've), but why did the shoot even continue? Especially with the explanation the guy apparently gave ("I'm a man and I liked what I was seeing"). This whole thing sounds weird.

Samsters wrote:
I am not sure, that thought did not cross my mind.

But now I can say that it is. I am not sure if I would want to go to those lengths because I am not sure exactly how that works and the photographer is located 6 hours from my present location. So I am really not sure it would be worth my time.

So if it is not worth your time to file charges, then why is it worth posting here?

Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first.

K E E L I N G wrote:
So it's your opinion that reacting with violence is safety first? 

Safety first is diffusing the situation, not escalating it.  Reacting with violence is just caveman chest pounding.

Agreed, however  the OP states the photographer "constantly reminded them".   How about just packing up and leaving?   From the way the OP stated the events, she kept modeling and hubby kept shooting while the "friendly" photographer kept telling them why he grabbed her.

Samsters wrote:
I backed away and put my finger up as though I was speaking to a child and said "YOU DO NOT TOUCH!"

Other than the fact you should have left immediately.  You weren't speaking to a child you were speaking to an adult and you should spoke to him as an adult and told him to keep his fucking hands off you.  Obviously your husband wasn't.

Art of the nude wrote:
He doesn't say he'd support punching the guy, just that it wouldn't be a surprise.  And, if you look through the OP's comments, they apparently did stick around for 45 minutes after the incident.  Long enough for the moron to repeatedly attempt to justify himself.

I'm pretty sure he was saying the guy deserved a beating......

Bruce Hart wrote:
yeah, i'm surprised her husband didn't slug the guy or just grab his girl and get the heck out of there. people put up with a lot more than i think they should sometimes. but i know a lot of effort is invested in these shoots so it's hard to just walk away from that. but safety first. i hate reading the horror stories in the model forum.

Samsters wrote:
My husband was present and very upset. He approached the photographer and did tell him he was out of line and that you never approach a model in a manner like that and that he should have more respect for me.

My husband after this also told the photogragher that certain shoots we had planned were now going to be cancelled.

I did want to slap him, but I have been affraid that if I act as such regardless of what the photographer does to me, that it could reflect on me later possibly.

Am I still missing something...this guy randomly grabbed your boob and your husband only says that he is "out of line"?