thattoriegirl wrote:
After some mm messages back and forth I scheduled a TF* shoot (cast by myself) with a photographer for tomorrow afternoon. When finally deciding on a location and time I asked the photographer for the location address (as it was his choice) and a contact number- to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:
-I think it's unprofessional to not be willing to give your contact information out (perhaps get a work #)
-It comes off sketchy
-Don't flatter yourself. I'm a professional and have ZERO interest in you

I reluctantly still confirmed but made a point of saying his wife should fear not, it was simply in case I got lost or an emergency, he did not respond. After telling my husband the story he told me he was not comfortable with me driving an hour away to the woods to meet with a photographer who's real name I didn't know nor who was willing to provide a contact number, especially when it was my casting call for a TF shoot. So I politely wrote him a messaging explaining the situation as one for my safety and hoped he'd understand as I do not mean to be a 'flake'.

Now I'll admit; I do watch A LOT of criminal minds, so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person. But am I in the wrong for calling the shoot off? Does anyone else find this strange & extremely unprofessional?

The word professional on MM is a funny thing. So is thinking about Criminal Minds.

That said, I don't let models in here without having a cell number, nor a real name for a myriad of reasons. And I get one before I'll even book, and the other no later than booking time. I use both to vett folks out better.

It's not likely his wife doesn't like it, it's more likely she doesn't even know about his pastime.....assuming he really has a wife.

thattoriegirl wrote:
....to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number.....

Large red flag.

The only point in his favour here is that it wasn't his dead grandmother that didn't want him to give out his number.

Danielle Hieronimi wrote:
No real name, no cell phone number, no email, no specific address to shoot.
If one of these is missing, don't work with that photographer.
If they can't take the time to detail a location or studio in the message; if they can't end their correspondence with:

John Doe
(XXX) XXX-XXXX
[email protected]

Then, they are not worth the trouble.

+1,000

Yes, I agree : )

thattoriegirl wrote:
After some mm messages back and forth I scheduled a TF* shoot (cast by myself) with a photographer for tomorrow afternoon. When finally deciding on a location and time I asked the photographer for the location address (as it was his choice) and a contact number- to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:
-I think it's unprofessional to not be willing to give your contact information out (perhaps get a work #)
-It comes off sketchy
-Don't flatter yourself. I'm a professional and have ZERO interest in you

I reluctantly still confirmed but made a point of saying his wife should fear not, it was simply in case I got lost or an emergency, he did not respond. After telling my husband the story he told me he was not comfortable with me driving an hour away to the woods to meet with a photographer who's real name I didn't know nor who was willing to provide a contact number, especially when it was my casting call for a TF shoot. So I politely wrote him a messaging explaining the situation as one for my safety and hoped he'd understand as I do not mean to be a 'flake'.

Now I'll admit; I do watch A LOT of criminal minds, so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person. But am I in the wrong for calling the shoot off? Does anyone else find this strange & extremely unprofessional?

No number from a model or a photographer is unprofessional and is a deal killer for me.

thattoriegirl wrote:
After some mm messages back and forth I scheduled a TF* shoot (cast by myself) with a photographer for tomorrow afternoon. When finally deciding on a location and time I asked the photographer for the location address (as it was his choice) and a contact number- to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:
-I think it's unprofessional to not be willing to give your contact information out (perhaps get a work #)
-It comes off sketchy
-Don't flatter yourself. I'm a professional and have ZERO interest in you

I reluctantly still confirmed but made a point of saying his wife should fear not, it was simply in case I got lost or an emergency, he did not respond. After telling my husband the story he told me he was not comfortable with me driving an hour away to the woods to meet with a photographer who's real name I didn't know nor who was willing to provide a contact number, especially when it was my casting call for a TF shoot. So I politely wrote him a messaging explaining the situation as one for my safety and hoped he'd understand as I do not mean to be a 'flake'.

Now I'll admit; I do watch A LOT of criminal minds, so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person. But am I in the wrong for calling the shoot off? Does anyone else find this strange & extremely unprofessional?

In reading this, my question is why is his wife being such a needy twat and making this demand? And why is he cow tipping to her demand?

This is the same crap many photographers complain about some models who allow their husbands/boyfriends to run the show when it comes to them modeling, etc.

IMHO you were right in calling this shoot off.

Personally, I expect an exchange of phone numbers everytime I schedule a shoot with soomeone.

If they do not give me their number then I dont shoot. Simple as that.

If you expect to be treated as a professional, then by god act like a professional or step aside and let someone else take your place.

Swank Photography wrote:

In reading this, my question is why is his wife being such a needy twat and making this demand? And why is he cow tipping to her demand?

This is the same crap many photographers complain about some models who allow their husbands/boyfriends to run the show when it comes to them modeling, etc.

IMHO you were right in calling this shoot off.

Personally, I expect an exchange of phone numbers everytime I schedule a shoot with soomeone.

If they do not give me their number then I dont shoot. Simple as that.

If you expect to be treated as a professional, then by god act like a professional or step aside and let someone else take your place.

I love anyone that uses the word twat

thattoriegirl wrote:

I love anyone that uses the word twat

thattoriegirl wrote:
to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:

His wife doesn't like him to give out his number, so what does she think he is doing for hours at a time away from home?   

Starting to smell like bull s**t.  He's definately not a professional.  You did the right thing.  I'm sure he would also have cancelled if you had told him you were going to take your husband with you as an escort.  He wanted you there alone, for a reason.  Like a professional photographer can't take photos with other people around him?

thattoriegirl wrote:
After some mm messages back and forth I scheduled a TF* shoot (cast by myself) with a photographer for tomorrow afternoon. When finally deciding on a location and time I asked the photographer for the location address (as it was his choice) and a contact number- to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:
-I think it's unprofessional to not be willing to give your contact information out (perhaps get a work #)
-It comes off sketchy
-Don't flatter yourself. I'm a professional and have ZERO interest in you

I reluctantly still confirmed but made a point of saying his wife should fear not, it was simply in case I got lost or an emergency, he did not respond. After telling my husband the story he told me he was not comfortable with me driving an hour away to the woods to meet with a photographer who's real name I didn't know nor who was willing to provide a contact number, especially when it was my casting call for a TF shoot. So I politely wrote him a messaging explaining the situation as one for my safety and hoped he'd understand as I do not mean to be a 'flake'.

Now I'll admit; I do watch A LOT of criminal minds, so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person. But am I in the wrong for calling the shoot off? Does anyone else find this strange & extremely unprofessional?

Irritating? That's a WTF moment. No contact number no shoot!!! If his mommy, sorry "wife" doesn't "allow" him to give his cell number then he's in the wrong business or has the wrong wife.

It all sounds too skeezy.

I wouldn't go. Just my opinion.

thattoriegirl wrote:
After some mm messages back and forth I scheduled a TF* shoot (cast by myself) with a photographer for tomorrow afternoon. When finally deciding on a location and time I asked the photographer for the location address (as it was his choice) and a contact number- to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:
-I think it's unprofessional to not be willing to give your contact information out (perhaps get a work #)
-It comes off sketchy
-Don't flatter yourself. I'm a professional and have ZERO interest in you

I reluctantly still confirmed but made a point of saying his wife should fear not, it was simply in case I got lost or an emergency, he did not respond. After telling my husband the story he told me he was not comfortable with me driving an hour away to the woods to meet with a photographer who's real name I didn't know nor who was willing to provide a contact number, especially when it was my casting call for a TF shoot. So I politely wrote him a messaging explaining the situation as one for my safety and hoped he'd understand as I do not mean to be a 'flake'.

Now I'll admit; I do watch A LOT of criminal minds, so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person. But am I in the wrong for calling the shoot off? Does anyone else find this strange & extremely unprofessional?

Good that your husband pushed the issue!  Without a number, at least, you should NEVER meet up!  I understand the whole safety issue more than the irritation.  If I don't get a confirmation through a contact number I cancel the shoot as well.  I/ve canceled two shoots just today!  Keep safe and have funn!

Kindest regards,
Edward

Danielle Hieronimi wrote:
No real name, no cell phone number, no email, no specific address to shoot.
If one of these is missing, don't work with that photographer.
If they can't take the time to detail a location or studio in the message; if they can't end their correspondence with:

John Doe
(XXX) XXX-XXXX
[email protected]

Then, they are not worth the trouble.

smart response! I agree.

thattoriegirl wrote:
Thanks everyone. I'm glad to see I made the right choice. Not only is it an issue of safety for me, but to be honest it's so unprofessional that it irritates me enough to not want to work with him for reason of making a point alone.

I just came upon this thread.  You did the right thing by canceling.  I will not schedule a shoot without having spoken on the phone.   PERIOD! 

I'm fine with communicating via text, email or messages on this website, but that only works for making initial contact, and solidifying plans ... but I'm old school about confirming things by talking on the phone.  In some cases, I'll even meet the model in advance in many cases.  The way I communicate, I rarely have any problems from models flaking or uninvited guests (sometimes call "escorts!")

Before the popularity of the Internet, texting, and emailing each other back and forth, we had fewer choices for communication with each other.  That consisted of calling someone on the phone, writing a letter, or meeting with someone in person.  The FAX machine was a big deal!    Oh I love the new technology, but it doesn't replace personal interaction that talking on a phone or in person provides.

thattoriegirl wrote:
Edit: thanks everyone! Glad to know people think I made the right choice

After some mm messages back and forth I scheduled a TF* shoot (cast by myself) with a photographer for tomorrow afternoon. When finally deciding on a location and time I asked the photographer for the location address (as it was his choice) and a contact number- to which he replied his wife does not like him to give out his number. I found this irritating for a number of reasons:
-I think it's unprofessional to not be willing to give your contact information out (perhaps get a work #)
-It comes off sketchy
-Don't flatter yourself. I'm a professional and have ZERO interest in you

I reluctantly still confirmed but made a point of saying his wife should fear not, it was simply in case I got lost or an emergency, he did not respond. After telling my husband the story he told me he was not comfortable with me driving an hour away to the woods to meet with a photographer who's real name I didn't know nor who was willing to provide a contact number, especially when it was my casting call for a TF shoot. So I politely wrote him a messaging explaining the situation as one for my safety and hoped he'd understand as I do not mean to be a 'flake'.

Now I'll admit; I do watch A LOT of criminal minds, so I'm probably more paranoid than the average person. But am I in the wrong for calling the shoot off? Does anyone else find this strange & extremely unprofessional?

Completely reasonable to cancel. If the guy doesn't have the brains to atleast get himself another wife or a second phone...

Incidentally how did his references stack up?

Gitte wrote:
I just can't help notice- and find funny- that his actions were based on his wife's opinion (not to give out his number, however odd that may be), and your actions were based on your husband's (he didn't want you to go w/o said number);-)

Actually we don't know that the so called "photographer" is writing the truth to her in these messages.  So many people can write whatever lies they want online and it's nothing more than spam.  My guess is that the "photographer" was making lame excuses.  Perhaps his wife doesn't know he shoots pictures?  Or maybe he had some other intentions?  Who knows?  However to say that the OP based her actions on her husbands opinion is not fully true either.  If she were to do that, then she'd never have written this post asking for "our opinions" in the first place. 

All I know is that it's piss poor communication!  What the hell did people do before the Internet?  We talked on the phone!  Why is that so hard to do?  I require a short phone conversation before I will even consider booking a shoot with that model!  Not to be mean, but to get a feel for their personality which is important to me in working with people.  I've also conducted casting calls at public venues so that I could see the potential models before booking.  That is how we used to do in in the ancient days.   "No contact" means "No job!"

I'll tell you what .. I have never been hired by a couple to shoot their wedding without a proper exchange of information AND meeting in person!  I don't mean to be snippity ... it's just that I am hardcore about communication.   

RKD Photographic wrote:
No number = no shoot.

Likewise with real name and an address of some kind.

OP you did the right thing.

Not me.

I do a very good job at filtering out unreliable models -- I've had very, very few flakes.  Nearly all of my sessions are here in my home, and there's always something I can be doing about the house.

If a model is 15 minutes late -- heck, no problem, parking can be a challenge.

If a model is more than 15 minutes late, I start some other project.  I tend to leave the lights up, because there's always someone around who want to be in front of my camera -- I photograph the kids of lots of friends.



But I don't like treating my models like children.  I don't need to check up on them.  I don't need "I'm leaving now" messages.  I don't need to confirm the day before.  A reliable adult will show, and that's what I expect.

Danielle Hieronimi wrote:
No real name, no cell phone number, no email, no specific address to shoot.
If one of these is missing, don't work with that photographer.
If they can't take the time to detail a location or studio in the message; if they can't end their correspondence with:

John Doe
(XXX) XXX-XXXX
[email protected]

Then, they are not worth the trouble.

It's remarkable though, how often you see models saying that they won't give out phone numbers to photographers.

Art of the nude wrote:

It's remarkable though, how often you see models saying that they won't give out phone numbers to photographers.

I only have a problem giving out my phone number before a set date to shoot is actually scheduled because I've done that before and had people call just to talk to me and then we never end up shooting. Waste of my time.

Art of the nude wrote:
It's remarkable though, how often you see models saying that they won't give out phone numbers to photographers.

NicoleNudes wrote:
I only have a problem giving out my phone number before a set date to shoot is actually scheduled because I've done that before and had people call just to talk to me and then we never end up shooting. Waste of my time.

I understand the concerns, but if one party won't schedule without a phone number, and the other won't give out a phone number without a firm scheduling . . . .