Mina Salome wrote:
Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.   don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

I really have not seen or know of any photographer that is serious with his work use these words. Maybe the photographer lacked experience or was taking his cue from movies like Blow Up.

Studio NSFW wrote:
Renowned British fashion photographer Austin Powers gave direction like that, too.

Yeah baby, yeah...

HaHa!! should have thought of him

Model Mayhem wrote:
Lot's of people, not just models, don't like being touched by strangers, especially in work environments. Did you even ask for permission before touching her? If not, her reaction sounds perfectly reasonable.

That's a good point. Try changing the work environment's conditions and you see how extraordinarily obscene it becomes. For example,

Say your coworker is having trouble putting something into SAP and you come along, glide behind them, hold their hand over the mouse.. guide them to do the task instead of telling them. That's not likely going to go over very well.

Herman Surkis wrote:
Now that models have their own private section, is it safe for a photographer here?

Some of the stuff here takes me back to the days when people were getting brigged left and right. Highly entertaining.

Does nobody get "different stokes for different folks".

Some will be great at verbal direction, others not so much. If appropriate or not will depend on the circumstances. I have known some that never even came near the model, but let me tell you they were verbally obnoxious and abusive. Others tended to be more handsy in a professional way and things moved quickly.

I still don't get where "try to seduce the camera" is getting deeply into the models personal sex life. But in the new PC world I suppose it is possible. Hockey as hell, that I get. Some are still caught up on "Blow Up" and David Bailey. The other David being in trouble, I somehow doubt it has to do with his molding the models on set, unless he was adjusting labia when not needed, but likely more from a lot of other stuff.

Again different strokes. I now shoot trade. I am not in a rush. I can afford to direct and redirect as much as needed. However if the shoot is costing $10,000 per hour, then taking the time to constantly redirect a pose is a significant cost. (OK, if the shoot is that expensive the quality of the model is such that they will need very little directing). Also depends if the model is free posing and doing whatever, or if the positioning is critical.

And you do NOT have to ask for permission for each and every little step. You establish boundaries and permission at the beginning. And if you need to cross a boundary then you ask permission again.

Got's to love how some on MM manage to over-complicate life.

BTW: when working with animals, I am constantly seeking permission before making adjustments. The potential for losing body parts is just too high.

youre funny Herman Surkis..you've been here for as long as I've been here  if not longer.. I noticed its the same models commenting on stupid male photographers irritating them. and guys rushing to the damsels in distress (white knight syndrome)...same people    attacking , besmirching, denigrating,
I'm thinking models that pose nude don't work for free. I don't know where they get their gigs from.  MM? referrals?  tell me.... Why do MM photographers choose to shoot nude models? Does it really help to tell a model to look a certain way?
how many ways can a model be motivated?  virtually all the posters that comment have nude pictures in their port, some the entire port is of nude women   sometimes of men..I wonder how much they spent in modeling fees to have such a collection...
it used to be one could ask a question and actually get responses one could consider..now a days commenting will enrage somebody,  get bashed for asking a question , get berated... eventually get into a fight and get brigged.
I see this crap on facebook as well  only a few hours ago   a model i know posted a comment on FB   regarding recommendations on a video camera... didnt take long for guys to push their favorite toys   eventually everybodys weapon of choice is stupid to everybody else and the trolling is started....

Mina Salome wrote:
.
So, while we're all here and not in a photoshoot, I'll say this: please don't use cues like that.  Experienced models know how to give a sultry look, they don't need you to give them a scenario to achieve the look.  I'm on friendly personal terms with many of the photographers who I shoot with, but it doesn't mean that I want my sex life to come up while we are shooting.  I'm at a shoot in a professional context.  It's not appropriate to as a woman at an office job about her sex life, and it's not appropriate to ask models about it either.  Some models may be extremely open and forthcoming about personal details, but for others, these things are private.  Please don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

As we reach 5 pages since OP started this thread with a very polite and reasonable request, it's been fascinating to watch the responses from male photographers stumbling all over their ponderous bloated selves, apparently trying to outdo each other on expressing how deeply befuddled they are (or are pretending to be) by this request.

It's almost like it's to the point where it's not even really about her polite reasonable request at all, but actually about them projecting their deep-seated neuroses and anxieties and prejudices ABOUT models, TO models-at-large, by exploiting her request as an opportunity to do so here... and maybe it's not limited to JUST models, but extends to life in general.

Some of these comments make it quite obvious that the passing of time has really done a number on some people, keeping them stranded and stuck in their outdated ways, just looking out helplessly at a world that is changing rapidly and has clearly already left them and their "thinking" far behind... perhaps quite awhile back. That's why it's so important to have this kind of feedback from models like OP, because, as this thread illustrates so well, that feedback allows us all to see the difference between narrow obsolescent mentalities mired in the past and the real world in progress. Without that feedback, MM can easily become a tiny little world of tiny little minds simply reinforcing old ideas, mindlessly regurgitating old concepts again and again without adding any meaningful innovation whatsoever, just lesser copies of copies of copies of ancient stereotypes, with any useful pertinence long having been eroded away.

Jerry Nemeth wrote:
I don't want to accidentally offend the OP.
I won't work with her.   

waiting for  the pile on Jerry....you are really brave..

Model Mayhem wrote:
Lot's of people, not just models, don't like being touched by strangers, especially in work environments. Did you even ask for permission before touching her? If not, her reaction sounds perfectly reasonable.

Karl Johnston wrote:
That's a good point. Try changing the work environment's conditions and you see how extraordinarily obscene it becomes. For example,

Say your coworker is having trouble putting something into SAP and you come along, glide behind them, hold their hand over the mouse.. guide them to do the task instead of telling them. That's not likely going to go over very well.

+1

Jerry Nemeth wrote:
I don't want to accidentally offend the OP.
I won't work with her.   

" Best way to avoid punch; no be there."

- Mr. Miyagi

I shall see my way out of this thread now.

Gryph wrote:

Jerry Nemeth wrote:
I don't want to accidentally offend the OP.
I won't work with her.   

I shall see my way out of this thread now.

yup i'm outta here too

Gryph wrote:

I shall see my way out of this thread now.

Mina Salome wrote:
Hey all, since this forum has become largely about photographers giving advice to models on how to behave, I figured I'd give some friendly advice of my own.

Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.  In the face of more serious things that bother me during shoots, like trying to give me a hands-on adjustment without asking, this cue is less urgent to handle, but it still negatively affects myself and many other models.

I spoke about this with some other models, and realized that some of the people who say these things may be doing so because no one has ever spoken up to tell them not to.  Some models may be ok with the request, but others are likely uncomfortable and not speaking up.  Photoshoots move fast, and sometimes it can be hard to speak up about quick things that happen.  There have definitely been moments where it was easier just to give a quick sultry look and move on.

So, while we're all here and not in a photoshoot, I'll say this: please don't use cues like that.  Experienced models know how to give a sultry look, they don't need you to give them a scenario to achieve the look.  I'm on friendly personal terms with many of the photographers who I shoot with, but it doesn't mean that I want my sex life to come up while we are shooting.  I'm at a shoot in a professional context.  It's not appropriate to as a woman at an office job about her sex life, and it's not appropriate to ask models about it either.  Some models may be extremely open and forthcoming about personal details, but for others, these things are private.  Please don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

I once had a dance troupe leader /instructor say she learned to stop telling to try and do this sexy look in performances because it didn't translate well for her. She said in pictures she looked angry! So the intent asked for she needed was look like you just got ice cream!! Perfect happy effect.
Jen

Figures Jen B wrote:

I once had a dance troupe leader /instructor say she learned to stop telling to try and do this sexy look in performances because it didn't translate well for her. She said in pictures she looked angry! So the intent asked for she needed was look like you just got ice cream!! Perfect happy effect.
Jen

Did they ask if you were lactose intolerant first?

Sorry, that was just too easy.

But yes.

Much of what the OP was pointing out is old and cheesy even when it was new.

The OP never said this, but I am surprised that somebody did not...'the poor girl was raped of mind and soul'.

Figures Jen B wrote:

I once had a dance troupe leader /instructor say she learned to stop telling to try and do this sexy look in performances because it didn't translate well for her. She said in pictures she looked angry! So the intent asked for she needed was look like you just got ice cream!! Perfect happy effect.
Jen

Many years ago I put a window air conditioner in for my GF, all the wood work to seal it up tight, turned it on.  I will never forget the expression on her face as the cool air flowed. I don't think "Pretend I just installed your air conditioner," would translate well to other people, though.

Mina Salome wrote:
Hey all, since this forum has become largely about photographers giving advice to models on how to behave, I figured I'd give some friendly advice of my own.

Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.  In the face of more serious things that bother me during shoots, like trying to give me a hands-on adjustment without asking, this cue is less urgent to handle, but it still negatively affects myself and many other models.

I spoke about this with some other models, and realized that some of the people who say these things may be doing so because no one has ever spoken up to tell them not to.  Some models may be ok with the request, but others are likely uncomfortable and not speaking up.  Photoshoots move fast, and sometimes it can be hard to speak up about quick things that happen.  There have definitely been moments where it was easier just to give a quick sultry look and move on.

So, while we're all here and not in a photoshoot, I'll say this: please don't use cues like that.  Experienced models know how to give a sultry look, they don't need you to give them a scenario to achieve the look.  I'm on friendly personal terms with many of the photographers who I shoot with, but it doesn't mean that I want my sex life to come up while we are shooting.  I'm at a shoot in a professional context.  It's not appropriate to as a woman at an office job about her sex life, and it's not appropriate to ask models about it either.  Some models may be extremely open and forthcoming about personal details, but for others, these things are private.  Please don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

Personally I like using instructions, not cues like, "turn your head left a little". or "look up, look right" etc.  Or even "bring your left arm up a little."  or "look right at me."  Most of the time the model knows when to give a sultry or sexy expression, or a serious one, or light hearted one.  If not, I'll ask for them to give one.

Karl Johnston wrote:
I just find the que incredibly vague

"Look at me like you do your boyfriend/spouse"

Does that mean a quizzical look? A seductive look? A worried look?

That kind of que doesn't make sense

If someone gave most any of my partners or ex partners that cue, I would imaging the resulting expression would be somewhere between confused, annoyed and just pissed off.

Mina Salome wrote:
Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.   don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

Being old enough to be the model's grandfather does help put things into perspective. Asking a model to seduce me just ain't in the cards.  The math isn't that difficult.

It shouldn't even be necessary for a model with sufficient experience.

I did, however, try a vaguely related ploy with a new young model. She was clearly distracted from the mood by the equipment and by me. It was going nowhere. I told her to forget about me, I'm disappearing. Forget about the camera and the lights and cables. Think only about her boyfriend looking at the final print. The lens wasn't a lens; it was a little window to the people viewing her work. She wasn't communicating with me, the photographer. She was connecting with those people looking at the photograph... in her case, her boyfriend. It's just her and her audience. She loosened right up and gave the look I was hoping for.

If I ever used that ploy again, I don't recall it.

Studio NSFW wrote:
If someone gave most any of my partners or ex partners that cue, I would imaging the resulting expression would be somewhere between confused, annoyed and just pissed off.

Laughter is also an option.

Herman Surkis wrote:
Did they ask if you were lactose intolerant first?

Sorry, that was just too easy.

But yes.

Much of what the OP was pointing out is old and cheesy even when it was new.

The OP never said this, but I am surprised that somebody did not...'the poor girl was raped of mind and soul'.

Haha!!!

Hunter  GWPB wrote:

Many years ago I put a window air conditioner in for my GF, all the wood work to seal it up tight, turned it on.  I will never forget the expression on her face as the cool air flowed. I don't think "Pretend I just installed your air conditioner," would translate well to other people, though.

Yes!!

kickfight wrote:

As we reach 5 pages since OP started this thread with a very polite and reasonable request, it's been fascinating to watch the responses from male photographers stumbling all over their ponderous bloated selves, apparently trying to outdo each other on expressing how deeply befuddled they are (or are pretending to be) by this request.

It's almost like it's to the point where it's not even really about her polite reasonable request at all, but actually about them projecting their deep-seated neuroses and anxieties and prejudices ABOUT models, TO models-at-large, by exploiting her request as an opportunity to do so here... and maybe it's not limited to JUST models, but extends to life in general.

Some of these comments make it quite obvious that the passing of time has really done a number on some people, keeping them stranded and stuck in their outdated ways, just looking out helplessly at a world that is changing rapidly and has clearly already left them and their "thinking" far behind... perhaps quite awhile back. That's why it's so important to have this kind of feedback from models like OP, because, as this thread illustrates so well, that feedback allows us all to see the difference between narrow obsolescent mentalities mired in the past and the real world in progress. Without that feedback, MM can easily become a tiny little world of tiny little minds simply reinforcing old ideas, mindlessly regurgitating old concepts again and again without adding any meaningful innovation whatsoever, just lesser copies of copies of copies of ancient stereotypes, with any useful pertinence long having been eroded away.

Well stated

Mina Salome wrote:
Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.  In the face of more serious things that bother me during shoots, like trying to give me a hands-on adjustment without asking, this cue is less urgent to handle, but it still negatively affects myself and many other models.

I spoke about this with some other models, and realized that some of the people who say these things may be doing so because no one has ever spoken up to tell them not to.  Some models may be ok with the request, but others are likely uncomfortable and not speaking up.  Photoshoots move fast, and sometimes it can be hard to speak up about quick things that happen.  There have definitely been moments where it was easier just to give a quick sultry look and move on.

It's a rather clumsy, unskilled way to express what you want your counterpart to do.

No more, no less.

If you feel so much perturbed or molested by such minor mishaps you maybe better should not work in this business. Sorry, but I have to be that straight.

Get adult and care about real problems, real molesters, real bullshit.

the lonely photographer wrote:
maybe its time to for these models to print up a list of things they won't do don't like to do and other no no's before they get hired.

It definitely would save photographers and other clients the trouble to make their own blacklists.

.........................................................................................................................

Photographer: "You're looking really bad, man!"
Other photographer: "Yeah. Had a horrible experience yesterday."
Photographer: "What happened?"
Other photographeir: "We had a workshop shooting at a swimming pool. 10 photographers, one model. The model drowned."
Photographer: "How could this happen?"
Other photographer: "She fell into the pool and obviously could not swim!"
Photographer: "Horribile! And no one could save her?"
Other photographer: "No. She got under water immediately and so she could not speak."
Photographer: "But that's no reason for not getting her out of the pool!"
Other photographer: "We stood at the edge of the pool for ten minutes, everybody yelling 'May we touch you? May we touch you?'..."
Photographer: "And...?"
Other photographer: "She did not give her consent so we did not touched her..."

Call me names. I couldn't resist... ;-)

Model Mayhem wrote:
Lot's of people, not just models, don't like being touched by strangers, especially in work environments. Did you even ask for permission before touching her? If not, her reaction sounds perfectly reasonable.

Professional models are touched all day long by strangers.

They are touched by hairdresses, MUAs, designers, assistants... male, female, gay, queer, straight... (Who knows?) And none of them asks in advance "Oh, may I touch you?"

Change of dresses backstage. 30 seconds. It does not fit? Therefore god have created the clasp pin. Pull it, press it, clamp it.

"Upps... this was your skin? Sorry, girl, clench your teeth - you are a professional model!"

Black Z Eddie wrote:

There's a big difference between reaching out to shake hands vs just touching a model to adjust her position.  It's not even the same thing.

There's a big difference between touching a model to adjust her position (by the way: why "her"? why not "his"?) or the hair or whatever else and fondling somebody, too.

Laura UnBound wrote:
If two models failed to understand your direction then the problem is with your direction, not the models.

Yepp!
All models are perfect and flawless and there is simply no chance that two models on this earth could fail to understand a photographer's direction.



By the way - the earth is flat.


(I really love you Americans. Really. But once in a while you get just plain silly.)

Mina Salome wrote:
Hey all, since this forum has become largely about photographers giving advice to models on how to behave, I figured I'd give some friendly advice of my own.

Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.  In the face of more serious things that bother me during shoots, like trying to give me a hands-on adjustment without asking, this cue is less urgent to handle, but it still negatively affects myself and many other models.

I spoke about this with some other models, and realized that some of the people who say these things may be doing so because no one has ever spoken up to tell them not to.  Some models may be ok with the request, but others are likely uncomfortable and not speaking up.  Photoshoots move fast, and sometimes it can be hard to speak up about quick things that happen.  There have definitely been moments where it was easier just to give a quick sultry look and move on.

So, while we're all here and not in a photoshoot, I'll say this: please don't use cues like that.  Experienced models know how to give a sultry look, they don't need you to give them a scenario to achieve the look.  I'm on friendly personal terms with many of the photographers who I shoot with, but it doesn't mean that I want my sex life to come up while we are shooting.  I'm at a shoot in a professional context.  It's not appropriate to as a woman at an office job about her sex life, and it's not appropriate to ask models about it either.  Some models may be extremely open and forthcoming about personal details, but for others, these things are private.  Please don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

My take on something like this would be that your experience with people is going to vary, and if someone did or said something thats made you uncomfortable then you can decide whether or not you want to work with that person, but its honestly not your place to go around policing people and telling them what they can and can't do.

I grew up in the 80s/90s. Its hard for me to stomach living in a society where people are easily offended all the time. I've been to other countries where you can receive a lifetime of incarceration or have your hand lopped off for less.

kickfight wrote:
As we reach 5 pages since OP started this thread with a very polite and reasonable request, it's been fascinating to watch the responses from male photographers stumbling all over their ponderous bloated selves, apparently trying to outdo each other on expressing how deeply befuddled they are (or are pretending to be) by this request.

It's almost like it's to the point where it's not even really about her polite reasonable request at all, but actually about them projecting their deep-seated neuroses and anxieties and prejudices ABOUT models, TO models-at-large, by exploiting her request as an opportunity to do so here... and maybe it's not limited to JUST models, but extends to life in general.

Some of these comments make it quite obvious that the passing of time has really done a number on some people, keeping them stranded and stuck in their outdated ways, just looking out helplessly at a world that is changing rapidly and has clearly already left them and their "thinking" far behind... perhaps quite awhile back. That's why it's so important to have this kind of feedback from models like OP, because, as this thread illustrates so well, that feedback allows us all to see the difference between narrow obsolescent mentalities mired in the past and the real world in progress. Without that feedback, MM can easily become a tiny little world of tiny little minds simply reinforcing old ideas, mindlessly regurgitating old concepts again and again without adding any meaningful innovation whatsoever, just lesser copies of copies of copies of ancient stereotypes, with any useful pertinence long having been eroded away.

Finally, someone is listening.

This isn’t about photographers now fearing the threat of being sued for sexual harassment, it is about how models FEEL when you use cues or make comments that make them uncomfortable. And when the model is thrown off or uncomfortable, the work can suffer. And are we all here for the work?  And even simpler, shouldn’t we just simply care if something we are doing is hurting other people?

It’s not about getting it perfect all the time. There will be mistakes, but all we can do is really pay attention and listen to other people and their experiences with curiosity and a desire to understand and be willing to change our own beliefs when they turn out to be bullshit cultural programming. 

Here’s an example. As a result of reading kickfight’s quote, I went to his profile, saw that his work specializes in martial arts foot fetish photography. Fetishes are something I always considered kind of weird or fringe, or even objectifying and degrading to women.  But wait, why do I think that? Is that my own belief or programming?

Well, I just learned from reading the above post that it is possible to be a foot fetish photographer and also regard models as legitimate human beings with legitimate feelings and be willing to listen and create a positive professional experience for everyone. So thanks for that! I feel my mind being ratcheted open another notch as a result of examining this belief!

I have found that most photographers I work with do care and the ones that say things that are off-putting are really just inexperienced (I have had someone say "yeah baby, you're so hot" and giggle and ask me what I'm thinking about when I was fake-laughing for a shot). It’s only after some very intentional personal development that I have learned to tell the person how they are making me feel, but many female models, due to strong cultural conditioning that tells women and girls that they are supposed to put others at ease and not make anyone feel embarrassed, say nothing. And of course that was the original reason for this thread. To share with photographers a common experience of models that is making them uncomfortable but they are not necessarily telling the photographer in the moment.

Garry k wrote:

and further... Models in the Fashion World are standing up for their rights -and being heard.  Photographers are being named, criticized and some even blacklisted

Right, we're entering a time when long-silenced groups of people are simply expressing what as been causing them suffering for generations. It's not easy to hear sometimes, but we either change and evolve or we stay stuck wishing for the good old days when "things were simpler" and we didn't have to worry about how our actions were hurting others. Having the choice of whether or not to concern oneself with how your actions may be negatively affecting others, by the ways, the epitome of privilege because those on the receiving end do not have this choice, or at least it's a crappy one like choosing to stay silent to continue doing the work you love or standing up for yourself and ending your career.

Just a couple of months into modeling on MM, I shot with a very experienced and well-connected photographer who had enjoyed a career in television, shot fashion and perfume commercials, and had with several clients who paid him a retainer fee to find new talent. During our shoot and later, there were a number of things that built up to make me uneasy. He brushed my hair without asking first if it was ok to touch me, after spending the night in his guest room he said in the morning "I almost came in and jumped on you last night!" my heart jumped into my throat and I'm sure that flash of fear and "wtf" was evident on my face then he continued "I was looking for that brush this morning and couldn't find it" (a fancy $250 brush). Later he sent me an email telling me that several of his clients were interested in working with me, and also said "I, personally, am in love with you. I can't stop looking at your nudes." I was really excited about the opportunities but this was the time to tell him how his comments were making me feel. I wrote an email saying "It is ok to say that you are in love with my work, but if you mean you are in love with me romantically, that is not ok for our professional relationship." I really had expected for him to tell me to relax, and of course that is not what he meant by that statement and he would try to be more careful in his choice of words in the future. But no, he simply did not respond. To that message or the other three messages I sent (which were like "hey, heading back from California in a few days, when would you like to get together again and shoot?")

I was extremely disappointed (seriously, this guy was very successful and well-connected) and in the following year questioned many times whether I had made a big deal out of nothing and he was simply protecting himself out of fear of being accused of harassment (Harvey Weinstein and #metoo were just blowing up at the time).

I imagine many models have had to deal with similar dilemmas, and that just plain isn't fair. The mentality that this is just "how things are" just isn't working for us. Being an artist is about envisioning the culture and the world that we WANT to see and working toward that. I am so grateful to all the models and photographers that are posting in these forums who do see that there is need for changing how things are.

the lonely photographer wrote:
geezus... so now I get sued cause [a whole bunch of crap]

now i know why guys go shoot  landscapes

now I know why you're lonely.

Mina Salome wrote:
Hey all, since this forum has become largely about photographers giving advice to models on how to behave, I figured I'd give some friendly advice of my own.

Recently, I saw someone mention photographers giving the cue "look at me like you would your boyfriend," or "try to seduce me" during shoots.  In the face of more serious things that bother me during shoots, like trying to give me a hands-on adjustment without asking, this cue is less urgent to handle, but it still negatively affects myself and many other models.

I spoke about this with some other models, and realized that some of the people who say these things may be doing so because no one has ever spoken up to tell them not to.  Some models may be ok with the request, but others are likely uncomfortable and not speaking up.  Photoshoots move fast, and sometimes it can be hard to speak up about quick things that happen.  There have definitely been moments where it was easier just to give a quick sultry look and move on.

So, while we're all here and not in a photoshoot, I'll say this: please don't use cues like that.  Experienced models know how to give a sultry look, they don't need you to give them a scenario to achieve the look.  I'm on friendly personal terms with many of the photographers who I shoot with, but it doesn't mean that I want my sex life to come up while we are shooting.  I'm at a shoot in a professional context.  It's not appropriate to as a woman at an office job about her sex life, and it's not appropriate to ask models about it either.  Some models may be extremely open and forthcoming about personal details, but for others, these things are private.  Please don't make assumptions that models will feel comfortable if you bring it up.

I don't feel it's too much to ask, or expect, of a fellow co-worker/collaborator, so I will take on board your well intentioned and helpful advice.

It is a shame more models don't participate in this forum. However, after reading replies to a number model OP's topics, it's understandable why some models may be reluctant to join in.

Ayla Gray wrote:
I was really excited about the opportunities but this was the time to tell him how his comments were making me feel. I wrote an email saying "It is ok to say that you are in love with my work, but if you mean you are in love with me romantically, that is not ok for our professional relationship." I really had expected for him to tell me to relax, and of course that is not what he meant by that statement and he would try to be more careful in his choice of words in the future. But no, he simply did not respond. To that message or the other three messages I sent (which were like "hey, heading back from California in a few days, when would you like to get together again and shoot?")

I was extremely disappointed (seriously, this guy was very successful and well-connected) and in the following year questioned many times whether I had made a big deal out of nothing and he was simply protecting himself out of fear of being accused of harassment (Harvey Weinstein and #metoo were just blowing up at the time).

You shouldn't be disappointed. Why are you questioning yourself and making excuses for this person's questionable behaviour. If there is any doubt about a photographer's motives ... don't be too quick in dismissing your gut feelings.