Forums > Model Colloquy > IG - Model online but does not respond

Photographer

DeanLautermilch

Posts: 308

Sebring, Florida, US

I often use IG for conversations with models but some 'models' are online and seeing my message but do not respond.
This morning (Saturday) was a model who wanted a shoot and I offered it late Friday afternoon. She was online but did not respond.
Saturday morning I get up and see she has been gong off and online and still no answer to me.
I am planning my weekend, the clock is now after 9:00 without any answer from her so I can send her a note telling her I will be doing other things this weekend since I did not get any response from her and sign off to skip all the nasty messages sure to come.
I have done this many times before. One model in Miami has a known issue of never responding for at least 1-2 days. I know other photographers that have cancelled her just for that. We make an offer, we see the model is online, she does not respond in any way, we wait a day without a response, and then the offer is withdrawn.

Nov 27 21 06:58 am Link

Photographer

Bob Helm Photography

Posts: 18817

Cherry Hill, New Jersey, US

Thankfully one never sees that happen on MM. Lack of a response is itself a response. Yes it is frustrating and rude but should not be unexpected

There can be situations that preempt a timely response, illness, accidents etc

Nov 27 21 07:32 am Link

Photographer

Paolo D Photography

Posts: 11499

San Francisco, California, US

As much as i dislike the idea of replying to a photographer who is asking in the model section of this forum about why he hasnt received a response from a female on a social media platform that is unrelated to this site, here goes...

have you ever seen the inbox of an attractive female?
i'm guessing no.
otherwise you'd realize your message is a drop in the ocean.

your expectations for communication are unfortunately not realistic.

Nov 27 21 02:55 pm Link

Photographer

Camera Buff

Posts: 923

Maryborough, Queensland, Australia

Some people don't like being side-tracked by immediately responding to messages in order to meet the priorities and expectations of the Sender.

Their focus can be on the work they are currently doing or have already accepted. And to prioritize and respond to only those modelling job offers that meet their criteria.

My suggestion is to reset your expectations and not to retaliate with pointless messages stating your offer has expired.

Nov 27 21 05:19 pm Link

Photographer

HOTTIE SHOTS

Posts: 6013

Memphis, Tennessee, US

No response is a response.  I would rather they not respond than get into a message thread that is going to lead nowhere.  If they don't respond they are not really interested in shooting with you.  If they respond a few days late, they will probably set a shoot and cancel or show up 2 hours late.

Nov 27 21 07:13 pm Link

Photographer

Kirksfotografix

Posts: 2

Waterford, Michigan, US

It could also be a marketing ploy on her part to give the impression she's SO BUSY doing other shoots.... that it takes her a few days to respond. Just a thought.

Nov 28 21 09:14 am Link

Photographer

Garry k

Posts: 30042

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Move on … It happens to all of us

Nov 28 21 11:32 am Link

Photographer

Patrick Walberg

Posts: 44692

Salinas, California, US

Dean, you've been around long enough to know that the Internet is a great tool, but certainly NOT foolproof! 

What did we do in the past before electronic messaging on websites?  We called on the phone!  We met in person!  Sure, the Internet is a great tool to reach more people at once, but people have lives. There are always other things going on in our lives.   Most people don't reply to messages right away.  It's not like you are calling them on the phone, right?. They have the choice to answer whatever messages they get, and models get a lot of messages!

Being that I am old school, I don't depend on messaging on one website as a primary method of confirming a photo shoot. I use multiple methods of communication whenever possible to eliminate the chances that I might be communicatinig with a Catfish or fake profile. After all, even Modelmayhem has had fake profiles, one that even became a "gatekeeper!"   

I have the cellphone number of any model that I have booked.  It's business!   Utility companies, medical offices, and most any other businesses that make appointments will text message a reminder or even call you to remind you of an appointment .. sometimes using two or more methods of reaching you.  Sometimes people ignore the calls or messages meant to confirm the day before.  It does not happen often with me, but if I don't receive a confirmation from the model, then I prepare for that time as if I expect the model wont show. If she shows, then I am still ready to shoot. If not, I always have a back up plan, or something else I can do.  Don't waste time waiting!

You said that this was someone who wanted to shoot with you?  If they are not responding now, then move on to find someone else to shoot with.  You are wasting your time trying to read their minds, or figure out why.  You might also want to reread some of your sent messages just to be sure that you were clear, and did not write anything that could be misinterpreted.  If you keep messaging that same person without having received a response, it might give the impression of desperation. They might even be turned off by something such as messaging them too often?  If you didn't get a confirmation and you have not previously met the model in person, you might be getting catfished!

Nov 28 21 12:37 pm Link

Photographer

Brooklyn Bridge Images

Posts: 13142

Brooklyn, New York, US

OP:How long have you been doing this ?

Nov 29 21 12:03 pm Link

Photographer

DeanLautermilch

Posts: 308

Sebring, Florida, US

I've been doing models for about 15 years.
What has changed is now i am making money and willing to spend it on models as opposed to when I started and I was in TFP land which is really like being back in high school trying to get a date with all the games played.

So if I send a IG and a model does not respond in 24 hours while I see she is online then I will assume she is not interested and going elsewhere.

Nov 29 21 12:31 pm Link

Artist/Painter

Hunter GWPB

Posts: 7058

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, US

DeanLautermilch wrote:
I've been doing models for about 15 years.
What has changed is now i am making money and willing to spend it on models as opposed to when I started and I was in TFP land which is really like being back in high school trying to get a date with all the games played.

So if I send a IG and a model does not respond in 24 hours while I see she is online then I will assume she is not interested and going elsewhere.

"I've been doing models?"  Working with?  Hiring?  Collaborating with?

I have never gonna be clients that do that to me.  They call or email me with unrealistic expectations, with no regard for how busy I am- how busy my peers are, and then when I do return the call, they blame me for taking too long.  I intentionally don't return calls promptly sometimes. Often, even.  Like when they tell me they need their project done in a week, maybe two, when I have customers that have paid in advance, two or more months ahead of a possible completion date.  And of course, the unrealistic ones want it cheap too.  Like normal price or less.  The same unrealistic expectations about what professional services cost.  If I was sitting here with zero work (like in some of the trump years), I would still need two weeks to navigate a normal project.  So yeah, it is my fault when someone else is in a hurry.  Phffft.  There is someone almost every day that calls me, who hadn't planned realistically. I can't help them all and some that I try to help, make me regret it. 

If you call today for a model to shoot and that work has to be done so fast that you need a response in one day, then you are making someone else responsible for your emergency- or your lack of planning. There is an old saying that a customer can have two of three criteria: they can have fast, right, or cheap.  For me, right is non-negotiable.  For you, right is probably irrelevant.  You have to provide right, not the model.  Since you are willing to pay, if you need a fast turn around time and fast responses, then payment offers that get a person's attention should be on the table immediately. 

If you see her on line, is she dealing with the dozens of irons she had in the fire before you contacted her?  Is your offer vague?  Do you tell her the rate and make it worth your requirement for a response in 24 hours?  Does she know about the 24 hour deadline or does she find out after you let her know she failed the test?  It seems to me that you are the cause of your problems, so blame yourself.

Nov 29 21 06:35 pm Link

Photographer

HiResPhotographs

Posts: 135

Corona, California, US

Stalking = creepy

You're just glutton for heartbreak and disappointment if you sit there and count the hours they've been last online and haven't responded to your the DM.  I'd like to think most folks on here are at least 12 years old and have long past their pubescent stage.  Jeezus.

If you ever start contacting models on Facebook, it's going to be the same thing.  Just like MM.  Just like IG.

Until they confirm the day before, best to consider everything "tentative" even if they act like they are interested.  Even if you are paying them.

What has changed is now i am making money and willing to spend it on models as opposed to when I started and I was in TFP land which is really like being back in high school trying to get a date with all the games played.

Well, in that case, in the Castings section, there are currently 16 models within 100 miles of Sebring, FL just waiting for you.  No need to go to IG.  Maybe if models got gigs here on MM, they'd be more active here, on MM.

https://i.imgur.com/Mx1SqG0.jpg

Nov 30 21 10:42 am Link

Photographer

C.C. Holdings

Posts: 908

Los Angeles, California, US

people watch movies on instagram, reel after reel after reel

this is another reason someone may show as online and not interested in responding to DMs. its easy to lose a reel forever if they exit the viewing platform to do to a DM

many people, especially with active group chats and messages, are not interested in entertaining them all the time. its easy to have a very different experience if you don't have active group chats or messages from strangers. but this isn't everyone's experience.

also yes sure they could be ignoring you specifically, or literally forgetting to check all their DMs even if they respond to their friends alot

Dec 01 21 11:12 am Link

Photographer

Eric212Grapher

Posts: 3619

Saint Louis, Missouri, US

DeanLautermilch wrote:
I often use IG for conversations with models but some 'models' are online and seeing my message but do not respond.
This morning (Saturday) was a model who wanted a shoot and I offered it late Friday afternoon. She was online but did not respond.
Saturday morning I get up and see she has been gong off and online and still no answer to me.
I am planning my weekend, the clock is now after 9:00 without any answer from her so I can send her a note telling her I will be doing other things this weekend since I did not get any response from her and sign off to skip all the nasty messages sure to come.
I have done this many times before. One model in Miami has a known issue of never responding for at least 1-2 days. I know other photographers that have cancelled her just for that. We make an offer, we see the model is online, she does not respond in any way, we wait a day without a response, and then the offer is withdrawn.

Your timeline is not quite clear to me.

You made an offer Friday afternoon, and had no response by Saturday morning for a shoot that same Saturday? Generally, I schedule a month or two in advance. Trying to get everything confirmed overnight is unrealistic imho. If the model feels the same as I do, no response is probably the best response; otherwise, communication at that point becomes a time waster for all.

Dec 02 21 01:36 am Link

Photographer

SayCheeZ!

Posts: 20380

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

I dunno 'bout Instagram, but there are several websites that I frequent that show I'm online when I'm not, often because I didn't logout of the site.

Dec 04 21 09:02 am Link

Photographer

FIFTYONE PHOTOGRAPHY

Posts: 6597

Uniontown, Pennsylvania, US

HOTTIE SHOTS wrote:
No response is a response. [snip]

Although there could be numerous other factors involved and speaks volumes of who You are attempting to work with I've learned to live with this.

Keep moving.

Dec 05 21 04:34 am Link

Photographer

MoRina

Posts: 37

Neumayer - permanent station of Germany, Sector claimed by Norway, Antarctica

We have lots of tabs open on our computers/phones all day. Just because we're "online" doesn't mean we are looking at that page at that moment. As a model and producer myself, I'm on many platforms and am working off and on all day: responding to inquiries, shooting, planning, editing, uploading, etc....  I allocate certain times of day to respond to emails and dms. There are blocks of time when I do not respond. Occasionally, I get messaged by someone whose modus operandi is like the OP... yand I see a message from 12 hours ago that was sent after I stopped working for the day.... but I can't respond because the messages go like this:

(sent at 8pm)
Hello, I'm interested in _________.   

(sent at 8:05pm)
????????

(sent at 8:07pm)
Are you there???????????

(sent at 8:30pm)
*You can no longer message this person because they have blocked you*

And all I think to myself is "phew.... dodged that bullet." LOL. Life is too short to deal with assholes.

Dec 05 21 08:58 am Link

Photographer

Francisco Castro

Posts: 2598

Cincinnati, Ohio, US

DeanLautermilch wrote:
I often use IG for conversations with models but some 'models' are online and seeing my message but do not respond.
This morning (Saturday) was a model who wanted a shoot and I offered it late Friday afternoon. She was online but did not respond.
Saturday morning I get up and see she has been gong off and online and still no answer to me.
I am planning my weekend, the clock is now after 9:00 without any answer from her so I can send her a note telling her I will be doing other things this weekend since I did not get any response from her and sign off to skip all the nasty messages sure to come.
I have done this many times before. One model in Miami has a known issue of never responding for at least 1-2 days. I know other photographers that have cancelled her just for that. We make an offer, we see the model is online, she does not respond in any way, we wait a day without a response, and then the offer is withdrawn.

Paolo D Photography wrote:
As much as i dislike the idea of replying to a photographer who is asking in the model section of this forum about why he hasnt received a response from a female on a social media platform that is unrelated to this site, here goes...

have you ever seen the inbox of an attractive female?
i'm guessing no.
otherwise you'd realize your message is a drop in the ocean.

your expectations for communication are unfortunately not realistic.

Let me add that messages from people who the girl doesn't know can be setup so that they go to a seldom seen "Message Requests" folder, where it will languish with a lot of other messages from people they don't know. Does it show that the message was actually READ? You just mention that the model was online. Depending on how attractive a person is, or how famous, reading and answering each and every message won't be feasible.

Your expectations are unrealistic.

There is also the possibility that she looked at your work and just wasn't impressed or interested.

Dec 05 21 10:19 am Link

Photographer

C.C. Holdings

Posts: 908

Los Angeles, California, US

Francisco Castro wrote:
Let me add that messages from people who the girl doesn't know can be setup so that they go to a seldom seen "Message Requests" folder, where it will languish with a lot of other messages from people they don't know. Does it show that the message was actually READ? You just mention that the model was online. Depending on how attractive a person is, or how famous, reading and answering each and every message won't be feasible.

Your expectations are unrealistic.

There is also the possibility that she looked at your work and just wasn't impressed or interested.

The point being that all possibilities are equally weighted such that you can't assume any

Dec 08 21 02:32 pm Link

Photographer

Skydancer Photos

Posts: 22170

Santa Cruz, California, US

No response = response.
But of course, feel free to complain about models in the Model Colloquy forum... I'm sure that will inspire other models to contact you. ;-)

Dec 24 21 10:07 am Link

Model

Dea and the Beast

Posts: 4675

Tampa, Florida, US

Paolo D Photography wrote:
As much as i dislike the idea of replying to a photographer who is asking in the model section of this forum about why he hasnt received a response from a female on a social media platform that is unrelated to this site, here goes...

have you ever seen the inbox of an attractive female?
i'm guessing no.
otherwise you'd realize your message is a drop in the ocean.

your expectations for communication are unfortunately not realistic.

This. So much this.

If the communication revolves solely around work/ the job, ie. The shoot, you will have better luck in the future than the "other guys", who feel entitled to asking more and more personal questions (since you're now friends, right? Wrong!), and subsequently get put on the back burner, because we're probably booking a more important and more serious gig right then...

I've had photographers become seriously codependent, sending multiple messages every day with minute details that have little to no bearing on the work, but want to "keep lines of communication open". If a working model would reply to everyone,  to every message, they wouldn't have time for anything else.

If you're too insecure about booked shoots, whip out a contract. If you're a hobbyist without such possibilities, perhaps hold out for the tried and tested models who have a track record of showing up after saying "yes, confirmed " once...

Dec 26 21 11:36 pm Link

Photographer

Francisco Castro

Posts: 2598

Cincinnati, Ohio, US

Skydancer Photos wrote:
No response = response.

This applies to real life, not just modeling and Model Mayhem.

If a woman doesn't respond to your advances or rejects you outright, it's not your cue to try harder. It means leave her alone. If at first you don't succeed, leave her the f--- alone.

Dec 30 21 07:33 am Link

Photographer

Ken Marcus Studios

Posts: 9361

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

Beating a dead horse . . . .

Dec 30 21 07:52 pm Link

Photographer

JQuest

Posts: 2117

Syracuse, New York, US

Ken Marcus Studios wrote:
Beating a dead horse . . . .

deadhorse

Dec 31 21 07:18 am Link

Photographer

TopFotography

Posts: 19

Morristown, New Jersey, US

Keep on moving wink

Jan 04 22 10:59 am Link

Photographer

LavishPhotography

Posts: 81

Miami, Florida, US

DeanLautermilch wrote:
I often use IG for conversations with models but some 'models' are online and seeing my message but do not respond.
This morning (Saturday) was a model who wanted a shoot and I offered it late Friday afternoon. She was online but did not respond.
Saturday morning I get up and see she has been gong off and online and still no answer to me.
I am planning my weekend, the clock is now after 9:00 without any answer from her so I can send her a note telling her I will be doing other things this weekend since I did not get any response from her and sign off to skip all the nasty messages sure to come.
I have done this many times before. One model in Miami has a known issue of never responding for at least 1-2 days. I know other photographers that have cancelled her just for that. We make an offer, we see the model is online, she does not respond in any way, we wait a day without a response, and then the offer is withdrawn.

You'll likely get all kinds of responses that are going to make you wish you never asked that question, here on this platform at least.. But I agree with what another poster mentioned, just move on - No answer is a NO answer. The way I see it, if they can't communicate (especially when you're offering pay) then they likely don't have the ambition/professionalism to actually follow through with the shoot, or even then make it worth your time and money. You may get a response in a few days/weeks when their resources are low.. that happens as well.

Jan 10 22 02:42 pm Link

Photographer

Malleus Veritas

Posts: 1339

Winchester, Virginia, US

Bob Helm Photography wrote:
Lack of a response is itself a response. Yes it is frustrating and rude but should not be unexpected

No response is indeed a response.  It's a response that says "Hi! I'm lazy, unprofessional, don't take my job seriously, and think far too highly of myself to bother with common courtesy or to follow up on sales leads."

Unfortunately, that attitude seems to be the norm with the younger generation.  It shouldn't be expected, but it is.

Jul 19 22 10:39 am Link

Photographer

Dorola

Posts: 444

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

It is very simple. You didn't have anything to offer that really interested the model. If you create desire, then the model will follow through. So look at what you were offering the model. Usually, if there is big $$$ or a fantastic TFP opportunity that is going to provide the model with exceptional images that will improve her career and you give usage rights, the model will be interested. I've had over 600 successful photoshoots with models from MM. I've had my share of no-shows and no communication too. It is just the way things work. Sometimes it is an advantage to offer the model transportation, food and refreshment. Spend some time to look at your communication to the model and see if you were offering some kind of benefit or was it just more of the same that the model sees 10 times a day. Not everyone wants to shoot with me. I don't want to shoot with everyone. However, I endevour to reply kindly, in a timely (for me) fashion.

Jul 19 22 11:55 am Link

Photographer

JSouthworth

Posts: 478

Kingston upon Hull, England, United Kingdom

Usually if you message a model and they don't respond, it means they're not particularly interested in working with you. That could be for any number of reasons; you may be too far away for them to travel for example. Or they may just hate your work. Do you really want to know, or need to know? If they don't want to work with you, you can't work with them. Or pay them to work with you. The actual reason is irrelevant, or anyway academic.

Jul 20 22 04:56 am Link

Model

Papro

Posts: 26

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, US

do not utilize ig for anything involving art of business, if you really have what it takes you wouldn't have an ig, ig is facebook, it's general population cess pool

Jul 20 22 06:08 am Link

Photographer

Bob Helm Photography

Posts: 18817

Cherry Hill, New Jersey, US

Malleus Veritas wrote:

No response is indeed a response.  It's a response that says "Hi! I'm lazy, unprofessional, don't take my job seriously, and think far too highly of myself to bother with common courtesy or to follow up on sales leads."

Unfortunately, that attitude seems to be the norm with the younger generation.  It shouldn't be expected, but it is.

Or it could mean that I am too busy with either my real job or modeling work, I dont like your style, dont do the genre I am interested in , you are too far away , you have a bad reputation or your work sucks.

In the end what difference does it make what her reason is as you are not going to work with her,

Personally I always respond and I recently worked with a model several years and 31 emails later. She was out of the area and always came to town when I had previous commitments for the time and am glad we finally got together as she was great to work with and I am sure we will work together again.

Jul 20 22 08:03 am Link

Photographer

JSouthworth

Posts: 478

Kingston upon Hull, England, United Kingdom

Papro wrote:
do not utilize ig for anything involving art of business, if you really have what it takes you wouldn't have an ig, ig is facebook, it's general population cess pool

Some models seem to prefer Instagram over modelling sites, probably for reasons of self-publicity. They want as many people as possible to see their pictures and videos.

Jul 21 22 03:20 am Link

Photographer

Varsity Mobile Atelier

Posts: 218

Seattle, Washington, US

Paolo D Photography wrote:
your expectations for communication are unfortunately not realistic.

In some circumstances, perhaps.  In others, not so much.

Jul 31 22 11:44 am Link

Photographer

Ted W

Posts: 63

Portland, Oregon, US

DeanLautermilch wrote:
I often use IG for conversations with models but some 'models' are online and seeing my message but do not respond.
This morning (Saturday) was a model who wanted a shoot and I offered it late Friday afternoon. She was online but did not respond.
Saturday morning I get up and see she has been gong off and online and still no answer to me.
I am planning my weekend, the clock is now after 9:00 without any answer from her so I can send her a note telling her I will be doing other things this weekend since I did not get any response from her and sign off to skip all the nasty messages sure to come.
I have done this many times before. One model in Miami has a known issue of never responding for at least 1-2 days. I know other photographers that have cancelled her just for that. We make an offer, we see the model is online, she does not respond in any way, we wait a day without a response, and then the offer is withdrawn.

I see this in non-photography related work also. Team members complain about each other or other teams, "they don't answer my email", "they ignored our request", "their answer is too brief." Communication is a challenge in all types of jobs and that's why professionals hire managers just to do that. Unfortunately many photographers are just a single person team, so it is hard to deal with all these. It needs patience and more understanding of the other side. Maybe your job is not as important to the model as it is to you, so such misalignment may result in cancelations. If she is a model you really want to work with, maybe try other methods of communications, put in some more effort. If not, just let it go and find someone else.

Personally, photography is not my money making job. I used to try TFPs, but free stuff is unreliable, because it is not very important. So I only pay models for shoots, so I don't have to waste a lot of time and energy on a hobby. If I was a professional photographer and needs model for important jobs, I would either create redundancies (schedule more than one model) or get a manager or someone to closely track all the logistics.

Aug 10 22 11:25 am Link