Go buy my coloring book!
Take your clothes off, suck my dick, Baby I'll make you a star!
For those that I havent scared away yet....
Who are you?
An international threat to The Industry. I am the most amazing thing to ever fall from the heavenly skies above and hit the ground running...Im a complete hack.
All the times generally awesome motherfucka
Why would I want to work with you?
For the ART of it.
That line HAS to work on somebody...
How does a shoot with you usually go?
You take your clothes off, I take less than 100 photos (I cant be bothered to do more than that) hopefully its as good for you as it is for me.
Your portfolio is all over the place, you dont shoot anything consistently!
Its a direct reflection of my brain. Cool, huh?
How will my photos turn out?
No really. I make no promises.
Why is that?
I don't know what I'm doing.
(I really mean that)
How do I benefit from shooting with you?
By simply associating with me you've added a metric fuckton of AWESOME into your life. You know you want some of this.
Well, since you admittedly suck, will you pay me?
Why the hell not?
Im not a nice person. Im also broke. Most importantly, I dont actually need to work with you, so youre either in it just for the hell of it or youre not, and thats fine by me. By no means do I kid myself that "the hell of it" is actually worth much, but maybe you like to take a gamble when your spare time is on the line? Who am I to tell you how to waste it (though you probably should waste it with me, just saying)
Are you ready for the best shoot of your life?
You bet your sweet ass you are!
This is an accurate representation of what a typical shoot with me is like. Im the one in the socks.
I clearly dont take myself, or my work, very seriously. I'd like it if youd do me the honor of not taking me seriously either. It harshes my mellow.
*I dont actually pay any attention to friend requests or tags. If youve fallen on your head recently and want to work with me, youll have to speak up*