Insane in the membrane.
How Do I Book A Shoot With You?
You don't. I'm off work until further notice.
(No, really. Don't bother asking. I'm really not booking anything right now. In the future, yes. Now, no.)
Do You Shoot TFP??
No. Thank you, but no. Of course there are exceptions, but you probably aren't one. You could try bribing me with money, though.
Do You Ever Travel To My Area?
Sadly, I'm deathly allergic to airplanes, trains, buses, long car rides, boats, hovercrafts, and teleportation devices.
Will You Get Nekkid For Me?
Nope. Don't whine at me that I've done nude work before, so I should with you. Things change. My portfolio is out of date due to my hiatus. The nudes will be gone once I start working again. Also, I cut off half my hair. The rest of my portfolio is still an accurate depiction, though.
Do You Bring An Escort To Shoots?
I don't need an escort...if some photographer is going to rape me, kill me, and then chop me into little bite sized pieces so he can store me in his freezer to eat later, why would I bring an escort with me that would suffer the same fate?
What Body Modifications Do You Have?
I have a tattoo of a dragonfly on my back, and a cat on my left foot. I also have both of my ear lobes pierced twice. The piercings are removable. The tattoos are not. Deal with them, or find a different model.
Will You Be My Friend?
Will you be my mommy?
Will You Be My Friend On MySpace?
I don't have a MySpace account. Never have, never will!
(I did cave and opened a Facebook account, but only after having several people threaten to stab me to death with toothpicks if I didn't.)
Nude Cake Baking in your Kitchen
- $500/cake, recipe is my choice (send list of allergies ahead of time)
- $1,000/30 minutes (you may be charged more for extras, such as requesting specific shoes, etc.)
- $5,000/midget (up to 5 midgets, for 6+ midgets ask about discount)
For promo shoots, I cannot ethically promote almonds, near-beer
, Velveeta, Teletubbies, or 80's fashions.