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Experience: Very Experienced
Compensation: Paid Assignments Only
Genres: Acting
Fit Modeling
Parts Modeling
Performance Artist
Promotional Modeling
Spokesperson / Host

Last activity: Sep 23, 2014
Joined: Oct 02, 2007

Fiddlers Green Photo

Edmonds, Washington, US
ADAK, Alaska, US
Hoboken, New Jersey, US
The New Fiddlers Green

Mayhem #531161

MM URL: http://www.modelmayhem.com/thewildgeese

About me
Hello! My name is Barn, I come in peace. Some people do not.

Prefatory note: I take photographs, I will be using them for something. I might not even know what for at the time I take them but they are going to be used. I am not a trust fund kid with an expensive hobby or an over paid lawyer with a thing for feet. Do not pose for photographs if you are not willing to have them seen. Thank you.

Short version:
A pretty good photog with experience and a great studio. pays money for your time. Won't take advantage of you. Won't put up with BS either. You can shine or never shoot with me again. If it is RED I probably like it! If it has bling I like it also.
A good bet. The end.

Long version:
I am an unreconstructed man of action, art, and letters. Some of you are not going to like me. Not much I can do about that. Don't come around here demanding respect, earn it. I have a strict "no asshole rule" in my life. If you are one please go away, you don't have to leave bent out of shape, just go away. If you think I am one then just go away. It will work out well for both of us.

Fiddler's Green is named after the mythical sailor's heaven, the place where all good seafarers go when they pass on, a paradise or Elysium where unlimited supplies of rum, women and tobacco are provided. Unlike Davy Jones Locker, the final resting place of sailors lost at sea. It is a place for sailors, over the centuries soldiers of various types, cavalry, artillerist, etc and even Marines have shown up and attempted to take over the place. Don't be fooled by these impostors there is only one.

I have a 2500 square foot studio and gallery in Edmonds WA, it is pretty cool, it is also for rent if you need a place to shoot. The cyc wall rawks, what a cool thing to shoot on! You should try it!!
It can be seen here:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-New- … 21?fref=ts

Everyday and every first meeting is an interview.

I couldn't wait for fame and success, so I went ahead without it. I have some work published here and there in books and magazines. I like selling one off works of art most. Like there is only one and there is only going to be one. Nice having a wee slice of my art hanging in someone's home or outhouse.
I spent 30 + years as a military impostor (this is a joke folks, the military liked me so much they paid me handsomely to go home after 30 years), that is all over now.

This ports reflects work done over years, not perfection and certainly isn't offered that way. If it reflects titillation it is because I like tits among-st other things or I wouldn't take photos of them. That is a joke for all of you narcissistic sociopath   nut cases out there!

Models: statements like "I will never" "I do not"  etc will ensure your phone doth not ring, your e-mail doth not light up, and your pockets remain clear of cash.

Almost nothing makes me shake my head and hit the reject button faster than high drama / low yield models. You can recognize them by their profiles full of what they want to do. This is always followed by the statement that "they are up for anything" with a long long list of no and won't do. They are up for next to nothing. Sadly, they will have a page here and tell themselves they are models. Wrongo, you are someone with a page on a modeling site. Pathetic.

  If you have no sense of humor and can't take a joke you should leave now, in fact, get out!

If you have a stick up your ass you will have to take it out before we shoot and keep it out till we are done. Thanks.
I recommend leaving it out as your life will improve without it, I promise.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any stranger, I get this:

Me: Please consider working with me.

Them: See, I would but I'm not sure you know how to capture beauty in the lense as much as your bio tells me you're seeking it with your mind. I see a lot of titilating art in your portfolio, but nothing that's mysterious enough to seduce anything but restless eyes. I'm a muse and I cannot afford to work with artists that can't reach the soul. Show the art your spirit would be making if it wasn't your ego is was meeting.

Me: Supercilious, a simple "no" or even not answering would have sufficed.
I don't have time to work with people that have attitude problems. Your port stinks. I was really admiring the rock and stone work of the structure behind you.
Your humble servant.

She isn't a muze, she is an azzhat. don't let this tragedy happen to you!

..........so if you have an ego larger than a house..........

Or on the train to crazy town!

This is not to say I think poorly of models with limits, you should never do any thing you really do want to do and I won't ask you to. But you got to have some game. I have done many things in life I didn't want to do, I would often do them on purpose.  I hate heights, none the less I would go jump off the high board just to grow a little. So far no one has ever got me to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, yet.

. I am pretty unorthodox so if you have an ego larger than a house, if you yourself are insane or have an insane boy friend, pimps, thugs,  managers, or a husband that needs to be in your bizzness, lots of rules and newbie stipulations, and or are a cyber-stalker(s) you should probably move along.

You should like your job if you are doing this for a living. You should be pretty excited if you are doing this for kicks.

Hmmmmmm I don't talk all that much because I am busy thinking, it doesn't mean I don't like you.

Escorts are welcome. However  I do ask that if  you bring more than two  divisions  of Marines you do  consider car pooling.  For the children, of course! A word on escorts, I can put up with them but really I can't figure out who has the time to hang around you and your work without neglecting their work. This aught to speak to you. Just some free advice from one human to another: be involved with quality people who have a life other than supervising yours.

Just for fun go here and listen to Elmer Fudd sing opera with Bugs Bunny.


Have I mentioned the Forums on MM? Stay out of them, they are pure poison. Let me sum it up for you. Photographers are horrible awful beast and models are virginal quiet little creatures who all of us should just open direct deposit accounts and send them money just for breathing. Really if you say anything contrary to this you will  get mauled/ Oh yeah and moderators will visit your port and take things down, toss you in the clink,  and give you grief! Count on it. As time goes on I use this site less and less for anything more than a hat rack. Still miracles happen everyday, even here in this strange place. You may be an outstanding model and I might be a good photog - it could happen, maybe.

"Any photographer who says he's not a voyeur is either stupid or a liar." - Helmut Newton

   A girl should be two things... classy and fabulous.
-Coco Chanel

"Pretty....is everywhere.... there must be something more...or don't bother me !"
                                              - D.E. Kincaid

What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?

   A few of thoughts:

1.  Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

2.  If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
     try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

The drama department:
No drama queens here please! If you live a life of drama, high drama or low drama, I don't really need any thank you! Just keep going, feel free to contact me after you get it out of your system!
Everyone gets respect (even me). Manners matter to me. Snobs will be happier elsewhere.

Recently I have been the target of an aggressive, sociopathic, narcissistic, cyber stalker. This person is absolutely ruthless. They would think that was a complement. I didn't like it, if you have the misfortune to encounter one of these creatures chances are good you won't like it either.
read this:

You can easily detect narcissists, including the everyday non-malignant kind, by how they process personal interactions. To a normal person, anything you do for them is a gift, and they will normally thank you for it, and possibly think of a way to reciprocate in kind. To a narcissist, by contrast, anything you do is part of an instant obligation you have to [her or him], it is never good enough, and you have a permanent responsibility to try harder to please [her or him]. Your efforts will always [fail], but the narcissist will generously let you try again. And again.

It is hard to find a description that doesn't sound like a bitch fest from a victim. but be fore warned these assholes cause a lot of trouble and can be very dangerous.

   Oh yeah about flakiness, I may forgive you once but not twice - everyone gets cold feet sometimes. That is not an invitation to flake.

FYI: I don't negotiate with terrorists or blackmailers.

R.I.P. Kurt Horn of Kurt's Stolen Moments
MM #1321622,
he was a good man and a good friend, and a Great Artist, fair winds and following seas Kurt. I wish I had spent more time in your company , I miss you already.



also very classy!   98 pics
a tribute to the incomparable Awwd   56 pics
I like it!   39 pics
I see Red!   134 pics
It just doesn't get any better than this!   48 pics
Magnificently Red!   107 pics
Outstandingly Red!   85 pics
Piano girls   7 pics
Red Hot!   67 pics
Red Red RED   121 pics
So good and excellent I wish I had taken it!   86 pics
So good I wish I had shot it! hey I did shoot it!   37 pics
Top Shelf   18 pics
Very classy ladies in red!   89 pics

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