Uncle Tim

For years now, I’ve had this clever ditty here about how there are ‘photographers” who make my life difficult because they use ‘photography” as a way to get their peepee played with.

OK, let’s move on from that, I need to assume that because you’re reading this, you’ve evolved past buying into the glamour illusion.

Let me now separate those who would stay with me by pissing off the some of the readers with a few more truths:

Common Comments

“You do really nice lighting”

No, I don’t. I don’t do lighting at all.  What I do is light.  And actually, I don’t light stuff, I play with light. And, if it were to be looked at for what it is, light plays with me.  I’m the freakin toy here.

And, for those “light writers” who are exploring this craft, here’s a tip:

Stop taking pictures of people. Play with one light and a dummy or mannequin. Move the light, move the dummy, move your ass.  If you wanna be good at “photo” graphy you have to understand what light does.  You need to eat sleep and *hit light.   No, not hot chicks, light! You gettin this? 

“I’d give anything to be able to do what you do”

Kaka? if you really felt that way, you’d do what I did and give EVERYTHING.  And if you gave it everything, not only COULD you do what I do, you could probably do a whole lot more.

So, please my fledgling friend, make up your mind.  Either you’re down, or you’re passing through. 

Say it out loud right now:

Pick A or B

A)    “I admit it, I just want to get laid. Hot girls (guys) give me mega wood. I’m totally happy, manipulating my way into sexual conquest and adventure”
B)    “Go ahead, cut my dick off.  (or the female version thereof) I’m here because my life is photography.”

Well, which one was it?  If it was “B” then you can write me and we’ll bemoan our mutual castrations.  No boners (or flushing) allowed.

I almost forgot, I haven’t pissed off any modelinis yet.  I don’t know what I was thinking… I apologize… here we go…

The truth is, that the vast majority of girls who pursue modeling are mostly interested in validating their sexuality.  That’s not so bad actually because its understandable.  There’s a lot of pressure to be hotter than the next girl.  God forbid, if a girl had to actually attract a man without mascara. God forbid!

So now ladies… (and some of you studly dudes) It’s your turn to declare!

Out loud, maybe even in the mirror…

a)    "I want to be photographed because I’m scared to death of what’s coming up, and I need proof positive that there was a time in my life when I made men (women) stupid, just by showin up.”
b)    “I model because … (fill in a lie here)”

Whether you’re a photographer or a model, you’re now feeling much better about yourself.  I know that you’re filled with gratitude right now. However, to quell your inevitable guilt, if you ever get to Hawaii, look me up and buy me a glass of decent wine.

What happens then is you get more instant wisdom, spewed from my flapper. Entertainment AND enlightenment. “Enterlightenment”  It beats the hell out of your common $200 an hour psychologist.

Btw, whether you go A or B, I want you to know that you’re very cool for getting this far.

Don’t let anyone, not even me, dissuade you from your dreams. 

Be happy, and make happy.
One day, you’ll wake up dead and you won’t be able to do squat.



Modeling Is Not Portraiture

Some models might think that if they are in an image, that the image is about them. They imagine that the image created with a model, says something about who the model is.

And then, some believe that their work as a model is a reflection of their value as an individual.

Neither of these beliefs is true.

Beauty and glamour photography is an illusion. It’s a deception. When it works well, it’s a team lie.

B&G photography is a game with no substantive point other than to play the game by certain rules.  Rules which are fickle, arbitrary and mostly created by gay men, for women.

Those that are good at this game posses many skills, of which, almost none are truly meaningful.

A model, photographer and support people know that he or she has made it, when they participate in two dimensional endeavors to sell something.

Any person’s value has much more to do with behavior than it does with inclusion in a photographic illusion of beauty.

Do beautiful things and you are truly beautiful.

The rest of so called beauty is little more than a fleeting buzz for the ego.

But make art, make people think and feel... If you participate in that, you can live forever.

My Grandmother, Ruby Darby, taught me that women were beautiful (and strong) and that faithful, passionate art can have great value.

My work, (my existence) is dedicated to her memory.

Thanks Gramma... I miss you so very much.