|
Forums >
Off-Topic Discussion >
MODELS Photog equivalent of worst-n-corny pickup lines
Remember this? "What's your sign baby?", or, "Heaven must be missing an Angel coz...". Yeah, lol, you know what I'm getting to and I know it's happened to a lot of models. So, what's the corniest or worst line a photographer used on you to get you to model for him? Make me laugh...include your honest reaction to his message in your response. May 02 05 11:51 pm Link The one and only time I ever went up to a random woman in a club, I told her that she was stunning, and that I was a photographer. She then said, "Don't tell me - you shoot for Playboy and you want to do a test shoot?" "No," I replied, "I shoot because I enjoy the work, and I've never been published." Her response? Wait for it... "Then don't waste my time." Ouch. Still hurts. Never again have I spoken unsolicited. May 03 05 12:46 am Link My worst one ever still makes ME laugh. I'm not posting his name because it makes me Libel if I do, haha. This was at "the space lounge" a local hangout for photographers, their guru's, & 'non-runway' models. 'They' really get verbal lashings for going there sometimes. Aparently, their not really models. hahaha. Photographer: "I was trying to take pictures of this cute little kitten, & I lost her.." Me: "oh really? should I help you find her?" Photographer:"she wondered into my hotel room, her name is cestra". Me: "......!??" Some people should really write for the simpsons instead of be GWC/DWC. lmao. May 03 05 01:04 am Link I have a a stockpile of some of the more insane emails I've gotten. Rather than try to quote exactly, here's the basic jist of what has left me totally unimpressed: 1) I'm really, really famous and just because you've never heard of me does not mean your career doesn't depend on the help you could get from me. 2) You need to work with better photogs. If you pose for my porn site for free, I could really help your career. 3) I'm a freelance auditioner for adult features. I can set up a mock audition for you... (this email was HILARIOUS) 4) I'm interested in an artistic nude shoot with you, like what you might see in Playboy. 5) The promotional value of being one of several hundred downloadable wallpapers for a European cell phone company should be worth the three hour train trip for you. 6) For only $600 we can feature you in our magazine! It's great exposure! Oh, you were in the last issue? And we never sent you a copy... uh... 7) "what is your availablity? can you travel?" This quote should look familliar to every model on this site. 8) I make very unique hats. I need a hot woman to model them in the nude, covering certain parts with the hats. Your "special areas" will not be exposed in the shots. (editor's note: ALL my areas are special. I am a unique snowflake!) 9) I have been looking for a model with 33Ds and you're perfect! (editor's note: I'm quite a few cc's of saline short of 33Ds) 10) We run a high-class sexual message service! This is not prositution! Many of our massueses enjoy the freedom of working topless! But really! It's not prostitution! 11) I'm interested in thongs. No sex just smelling, what is the hourly rate? May 03 05 01:40 am Link Posted by theda: ROTFLMAO! May 03 05 02:01 am Link Posted by Cestra Winslow: Now, that's an expression I would've loved to have seen. Lol. May 03 05 02:04 am Link Posted by Chris Ambler: *clutches his lower abdomen area and grimaced* Uuuuuuu May 03 05 02:16 am Link an exerpt from an email that was recently sent to me asking me to model (yep I'm yet another model/photographer, go figure): "We are looking for models for our upcoming shoot. The shoot is based on Slapstick Comedy, and is a tribute to The 3 Stooges. All the models will be doing is taking pies in the face. It is a totally fun and laid back shoot.I will be in your area all of April and May. Please let me know if you are interested. Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you!" I kid you not. May 03 05 03:00 am Link For the right fee I'd take a pie in my face. If it was American Pie...*wink wink*...TFP! LMAO ...ya'll know I'm just kidding right *g* ...but anyway Sol, you gonna go for it??? Posted by Solstyce Calé: May 03 05 10:34 am Link Posted by theda: I was worried that my e-mails sounded cheesy. I don't feel so bad now. May 03 05 10:58 am Link Theda, your excerpts have me in fits. You really encounter the winners, dontcha? Good grief. Poor little snowflake. May 03 05 01:36 pm Link Since it's just whipped cream in a foil thing... I think I'm gonna pass :-P Posted by Joe K. Perez: Posted by Solstyce Calé: May 03 05 05:12 pm Link Posted by theda: I am off to the doctor now. I was laughing so hard I think I broke something!!!!! LOL.. May 03 05 05:31 pm Link You know which line I use? "Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else." May 03 05 08:24 pm Link Theda, write a book,please do stand-up something!!! May 03 05 11:30 pm Link I only report back what I hear, ma'am. May 04 05 02:14 am Link Here is my inadvertant pickup line, "I'm a photographer." Yeah I know. or..."I want to photograph you"... I stopped telling people I am a photographer when I go out. I just tell them I am a pimp. This story they believe. E May 04 05 02:31 am Link Posted by Solstyce Calé: Let me guess. SexySlapstick.com???? You'd be surprised at how well messy sites and videos sell. It's the wierdest thing. But EVERY model I have shot doing what I call "Splosh" has told me it's the most fun they'd ever had at a shoot! Some of them have even just showed up when they heard I was shooting it again just to do it for fun. May 04 05 05:48 pm Link I thought the messy goo fetish was called "gunge"? I may be wrong. It's not exactly my thing, but I know it sells. May 05 05 12:01 am Link Posted by DJ Foothill: That's an awesome supermarket story! May 05 05 01:46 am Link what a Bitch! American women often talk to other people like that??! I do know the teenager girls here in UK say things like ''DROP DEAD'' But thats not an adult person... ouch! (but I love ya) Posted by Chris Ambler: May 05 05 06:15 am Link ah how many times have i seen a girl perfect for the job walking down the street minutes after having a useless 30 person casting with nobody i liked (girls all seem to look the same after the first ten in big castings) (Photographers Tip: always have castings as early in the morning as feasably possible....the morning face tells the FULL story ;-) Getting back to the point....But I Never have had the nerve to go up to any of them when i am on my own simply because I put themselves in their shoes and frankly I would never believe myself!!! The rare occasions i have approached a "civilian" have been when i have had a female stylist/agent/make up person with me. May 05 05 02:45 pm Link Posted By photofashion: I do it all the time. 9 times out of 10, I get the "you're just trying to pick me up" look from them. May 05 05 08:09 pm Link I see girls on the train all of the time and want to approach them about being in my MUA book but they really look nervous when I get closer so I don't. May 05 05 10:52 pm Link Posted by Naomi Jay: I've TOLD you to STOP walking towards them while drooling and carrying a running chainsaw! May 05 05 11:13 pm Link The slap stick post above, The guy approached one of the llamas I know on omp with that offer, and she had me check him out. Since the Truth is not Libel, I am free to say that it appears that none of the llamas he solicits ever gets the shoot, nor do they get paid. Phase two of the email says something like, I have 12 slots, 10 are filled already and for the last 2 you need to send me some photos of yourself taking a pie in the face, before, during, and after. Please sign this release as well so that we may put them up and have people evaluate them... :-) Yeah, Ok! That is, If it is the same guy as emailed her.... Meanwhile, My favorite pick-up line to use on llamas is: "I can not seem to get the coloring right on the camera here. I think that shirt you are wearing is running into your skin tone, can you take it off a minute. Um nope, not that, How about the pants? Nope, must be the silk, yes both pieces honey. Yep that was it! Stand still now." :-P Ok, Maybe not. May 06 05 07:49 am Link " I'm the billionaire publisher of (name withheld) magazine and (name withheld) magazine. I also am the president of (name withheld) cosmetics company, and own (name withheld) modeling agency. I also own (name withheld) lingerie and swimwear company", I am also the vice president of 'Allure Magazine' and am responsible for publishing 'Muscular Development' magazines." When asked for references the person will go bezerk and will harass, threaten, and abuse people who make the inquiries. Despite the fact that the actual person has been totally banned from most modeling/photography websites (including MM) and has a legnthy record of civil and criminal convictions for counterfeiting and other fraudulant activities, many females actually do fall for this guys rouze! Thankfully, so far they've all lived to talk about it. May 08 05 12:38 pm Link I know a photog who created a fake OMP model (no experience, seeking tfp, willing to do nude) just so he would have some understanding what you ladies put up with. The few he forwarded to me were some level of unbelieveable. May 09 05 01:27 pm Link Posted by Norris Carden: did he get mine? May 09 05 01:28 pm Link Posted by Solstyce Calé: Oh, so you got the pie video email too? At first I thought they had just undermined my talents, now I know that they undermine my individuality as well... May 09 05 04:48 pm Link Here is mine: I would love to shoot you for my calendar. All you have to do is go out in the woods, put on this thong and thigh high rubber boots and hold a fish! Since I am a woman and I produce the Women in Waders Calendar, this acutally works. May 09 05 07:36 pm Link Him: If you act the part of ? with me very good and all the way of a sexy woman who seduces brad pitt and takes him to her hotel room and bangs him (in the movie) you get the part. Me: ???? did not get the part. May 10 05 03:21 am Link Posted by Norris Carden: I've been tempted to do that. Years ago when internet chat was just taking off (anyone remember ichat?) I traded screen names with a girl and I got to see all the private messages from guys hitting on her and she got to see how completely ignored I was... May 10 05 11:40 pm Link I am reminded of an email I got not to long ago... The "photographer" said he was wanting to take me to a remote cabin in the mountains to shoot a "damsel in distress" scenario. May 11 05 03:29 pm Link Posted by Susi: So... did you go? May 12 05 01:16 am Link Posted by theda: Posted by Susi: So... did you go? Nah, I still haven't talked her into it yet. May 12 05 02:19 am Link Posted by EricMuss-Barnes: Posted by theda: Posted by Susi: So... did you go? Nah, I still haven't talked her into it yet. Okay....I think my tonsils came out. May 12 05 02:39 am Link Posted by E: For me photographer is a step up (I'm a lawyer.) I like Harry Truman's story that he never had the heart to tell his mother he was a politician, so he lied to her and told her he had a respectable job playing piano in a whorehouse. May 20 05 10:44 am Link Works both ways! I had a male want to hire me to shoot, as he put it, sexy fashion shots. Fine with me. Then he wanted some artistic nudes...as the emails progressed it turned into him wanting humiliation shots...with ME spanking him! I declined but suggested he ask my 6\'4 husband. Funny, I did not hear back from him after that... May 20 05 01:30 pm Link I'm usually too nervous to approach a stanger and ask them to model for me. May 24 05 10:00 am Link |
