malefica wrote:
I'm interested. I know how I try to brand myself, but an outside perspective would be welcome.

Hi Malefica! A quick note before I get on to the rest - I highly recommend removing the pending shoots section from your portfolio. Your clients should not be privy to how many shoots you have set up and whether they're paid or not, and having so many that state date pending makes it look like you're not shooting much at all. It will hurt how often you're hired. I would also remove the shoots to date section. If you feel a need to share that information the credit notes section is a great place to put it. I was also very confused about the Vicious Kitten bit at first - I thought it meant you were changing your name. There's an easy fix - "As of January 2016 I am now represented by Vicious Kitten. As they are not an agency, I am still free to set up shoots myself if you prefer not to work through them." I would also move your social media info to the bottom of your bio - you want information on bookings and rates to be more easily accessible and not hidden at the bottom.

As for branding, on a first read of your bio I expect to see a portfolio full of dark conceptual work, likely geared towards either beauty or erotic/fetish work. Your name supports that well, and your portfolio does not disappoint. I was pleasantly surprised to see a simple portrait as well that shows you in a different light (pun intended, sorry). I think you have yourself well branded for the niche you'd like to pursue while also showing the ability to adapt to other work should someone want your specific look for a lighter project. You obviously know how to pull off the dark conceptual work that you brand yourself for, and I look forward to seeing you expand your skill set and grow your portfolio.

I do want to note that you have two versions of the same image in your portfolio - the cropped and uncropped versions of your avatar. Model Mayhem allows you to both crop an image while making it an avatar and to hide images you don't want in your portfolio, so you should be able to use that as your avatar while only showing the uncropped version in your portfolio.

Eleanor Rose wrote:

Hi Malefica! A quick note before I get on to the rest - I highly recommend removing the pending shoots section from your portfolio. Your clients should not be privy to how many shoots you have set up and whether they're paid or not, and having so many that state date pending makes it look like you're not shooting much at all. It will hurt how often you're hired. I would also remove the shoots to date section. If you feel a need to share that information the credit notes section is a great place to put it. I was also very confused about the Vicious Kitten bit at first - I thought it meant you were changing your name. There's an easy fix - "As of January 2016 I am now represented by Vicious Kitten. As they are not an agency, I am still free to set up shoots myself if you prefer not to work through them." I would also move your social media info to the bottom of your bio - you want information on bookings and rates to be more easily accessible and not hidden at the bottom.

As for branding, on a first read of your bio I expect to see a portfolio full of dark conceptual work, likely geared towards either beauty or erotic/fetish work. Your name supports that well, and your portfolio does not disappoint. I was pleasantly surprised to see a simple portrait as well that shows you in a different light (pun intended, sorry). I think you have yourself well branded for the niche you'd like to pursue while also showing the ability to adapt to other work should someone want your specific look for a lighter project. You obviously know how to pull off the dark conceptual work that you brand yourself for, and I look forward to seeing you expand your skill set and grow your portfolio.

I do want to note that you have two versions of the same image in your portfolio - the cropped and uncropped versions of your avatar. Model Mayhem allows you to both crop an image while making it an avatar and to hide images you don't want in your portfolio, so you should be able to use that as your avatar while only showing the uncropped version in your portfolio.

Suggested edits done, and thank you!

Sesuna wrote:
I would love to know!

Hi Adyam! I love your look - your avatar and the first image in your portfolio are stunning!

With that said, like so many other models in this thread you're suffering a lack of cohesive branding. Your profile text is too short and doesn't convey the necessary info or frame you well, and you state that you only want to do artistic nudes but your portfolio shows mostly glamour style swimsuit and lingerie. If you're getting a lot of requests for glamour nudes that's probably why.

Your branding indicates that you're a hobbyist - "Just looking to be creative with my body and face, so message me if your interested." If so, I'd suggest a few tweaks to get more offers for the type of work you want to explore and you're good! That would entail adding more images to create a wider variety of work and taking out a few of your current images to lessen the chances of you being asked to create work you don't want to.

If you're hoping to advance to a point where you're getting hired for shoots and/or pursuing this as a full time career, you're going to need to not only expand your portfolio to show a wider variety, but also make sure to show more full body shots and portraits, as well as some images that show your current skill set. You state that you want to pursue artistic nudes - I would study models you admire and try to get a few really nice figure nudes in your portfolio pretty soon. You have one that shows your body stretched out, so go the other way and figure out some visually intriguing poses incorporating a lot of twisting and bending. You'll also want to tweak your bio some to appear more professional. I recommend reading through my responses to other models to see what does and doesn't work for profile text on here.

I hope this helps! Feel free to come back and get in line for another review if you change things up and want to know how you did.

malefica wrote:

Suggested edits done, and thank you!

Of course!

Pauline Yee wrote:
Please

Hi Pauline! Ok, so you blew me away. Your bio text made me assume you're a new model looking to trade for experience, but your portfolio tells a totally different story. You have a great portfolio! Right now the portfolio itself brands you as being extremely viable for beauty, lifestyle, and commercial work, while also open to and enthusiastic about more creative enterprises. I do recommend narrowing it down to your best 16-20 images. It looks like you might still be hanging on to some old favorites, and while they're beautiful they don't quite match the level of the rest of your portfolio.

I honestly can't tell if you're a hobbyist or if you'd like to start getting hired/turn this into a career. If the former, you work with some mighty lucky photographers. Make sure to keep working with better quality teams as you go, though I'm sure you already know that! If the latter, it's time to rewrite your bio text. I recommend reading my other responses in this thread to see what does and doesn't work in a bio. Keep it concise and professional while adding just enough of your personality for them to get a feel for you. Find a way to communicate your experience and commitment that isn't cliche, mention your compensation expectations, and cover anything photographers would need or want to know - skills like yoga or horseback riding, schedule info if it's limited, descriptions of any tattoos or piercings, etc.

I hope this helps! Feel free to come back and ask for another review if you change up your bio and want to know how you did.

Alexandra - C wrote:

Hi Alexandra! Before I mention anything else, your bio text states that your stats are up to date, but your hips stat reads as 0. That probably wants an update!

In terms of branding, yours is pretty concise. You state up front what genres you're interested in pursuing, and your portfolio reflects that. So in all I only have a few suggestions:
1. Add information to your bio about compensation expectations. Even just one line stating that you're currently only seeking paid work, or that you're primarily seeking paid work but are willing to trade for tearsheets, etc.
2. Consider narrowing down your portfolio to the best 24-28 images. That will make it a lot stronger.
3. Consider changing your avatar if you only want to do limited glamour. It's lovely, but it definitely indicates that you're a glamour model. I never would have guessed that you'd have such strong commercial and fashion work. I'd really consider changing to an image that shows that side of you. I recommend this one


I hope this helps!

Jen B wrote:

I'm in, and hello!

Jen

Hi Jen! Your branding, overall, makes me suspect that you're an established model using this profile for your fun/creative shoots, and/or that you were an established model who has now retired and is doing the same. Your bio indicates hobbyist, but a hobbyist who knows the lingo and to ask for rights to images. And while the bottom row of your portfolio looks amateur, the top two tell me you have experience.

To be honest, I'm not sure what your goal on here is, but I think you know what you'redoing and how to get it. I hope this helps in some way. If I read the scenario completely wrong and you want some help like I've given other models on achieving cohesive branding, feel free to let me know.

Eleanor Rose wrote:

Hi Laura! You have a lovely look. You don't really have branding going quite yet however. Let's get that fixed!

Your bio text is verbose and indicates that you might be less experienced than other models. Not totally new, but not super experienced yet either. The list of photographer's you've worked with makes me wonder if they're the only ones you've worked with. If there are big names on that list, as in extremely well known, pick one or two and mention specific projects you worked with them on and remove the rest. Otherwise, remove them all. You can give a list of references when asked. The rest of your bio could be tightened up a bit and made more streamlined and easier to read, but for the most part it's fine for now. Remember to keep honing it as you grow as a model!

As for your portfolio, your profile indicates that you consider yourself a vintage model, and your work as a Sweet Coins girl indicates cosplay. However, your portfolio doesn't show a whole lot of either, and it feels a bit all over the place - like right now you're just shooting whatever concepts come up rather than focusing on a specific genre. You have some very nice work, but I'd like to see you take your portfolio to the next level now that it looks like you have a decent number of shoots under your belt. Figure out what genre/s you want to focus on and do some trade work with stellar photographers to get representative work for your portfolio. You can do both vintage work and cosplay, but you'll need to tie them together into a more cohesive portfolio. And keep in mind that your avatar will influence what people will expect from your portfolio. Your current avatar is a lovely headshot and indicates that you could do well with beauty work and portraiture, but it doesn't set you up as a vintage model. With that said, I do think you should keep it for now - it's by far your best choice for an avatar from your current portfolio.

Overall, get clear on what type of work you're looking for as a model, and make sure that your portfolio and avatar show you as a good fit for that style of work and will attract photographers who want to shoot it. (A note for the future - I typically don't recommend using cosplay as an avatar since often well done cosplay images result in you looking quite different than your normal self.)

Thank you very much for your time and your advice, Eleanor Rose. You're very helpful and this thread is very necessary for me, since I think my weakness is branding. Tomorrow I'll rewrite my bio and focus my port into vintage, cosplay, art and glamour work, which are the genres I'm more focused. I hope I get better results!
Cheers,
Laura

Eleanor Rose wrote:
Hi there!

I have to admit that this was a bit of a difficult critique for me. Your profile breaks nearly every rule I use to help models market themselves - it's long, has a list of shoot ideas, states that you require an escort, and you say you do this for fun but also prioritize paid work. Normally I would advise you to majorly change it up, but honestly, it looks like it's working for you. Upon reading the several paragraphs of information you have available it is pertinent, not rambling, and I believe those who wish to work with you will take the time to read it.

You have yourself very cohesively branded as a mature and natural nude model, which is a clear niche (and underrepresented, which means more work for you). You state in your bio that you'd like to branch into mild erotic and fetish work, and your portfolio reflects that. You might consider cleaning up your bio a bit and making the pertinent info easier to find if you have to reiterate it a lot in messages, but otherwise I think you're good to go.

The only thing I didn't see that I was left wondering about is whether you're willing to travel, as I'd imagine that there are photographers throughout the country who would like to be able to work with someone in your niche.

Thank you so much for taking the time to look and write out your thoughts!  Yes, I probably break rules without even trying, but it has worked well for me over nearly 30 years as a nude model.

I agree that being in a niche that not enough other mature women choose to participate in has made a difference, both in the popularity of my work and the number of artists and photographers who are interested in working together.  There simply are not very many women in their 60's who will model naked or do anything other than very traditional artistic poses if they do get out of their clothes. Adding erotic and fetish genres makes the number of models my age who are willing to do those things quite a lot smaller as well. Being 100% natural also has its advantages, I have a lot of followers and fans who specifically love that look, and the number of photographers and artists who want an unshaved women to pose for them is significant.

You have a wonderful insight, and I will take another look at my bio and see if there's a way to shorten it, and add a line or two about travel.  Since I still work at the same full time job I have had for 39 years, travel only for modelling work is completely out of the question. But when I am planning a family vacation trip to any given area, I always look for opportunities to model along the way and at my destination, and usually there are far more than I could possibly ever find the time to do.

Ereka Marcelino wrote:

Hi Ereka. I'm really sorry you misunderstood what I stated in my OP. I do intend this to be a long running thread, but I also have two businesses to run and can't be constantly updating. I clearly stated that I would be providing critiques as often as I could, but that it might take some time for me to get to people. If you still want a review feel free to jump back in.

Ruth Gray wrote:
I'm curious to hear your thoughts. I'm always looking to improve. Thanks!

Hi Ruth!

Your profile text, and thus your branding, is an exercise in contradictions. It makes it look like you don't really know what you want or what you're doing, though I get the impression that this could be easily solved. Here are your action areas:

1. You state that you're agency represented, but don't give any information that would make that mean anything. Who by? Do photographers need to book you through the agency? Why are you telling us this? As is, it looks like you're probably represented by a smaller local agency, or you'd have more info about them listed. You'll want to decide whether to take that out of your profile or keep it and add more. (ie - "I am represented by XYZ Agency under a non-exclusive contract. Booking through them is an option but not necessary. Feel free to contact me for more information.")

2. You state that you're a ballet dancer but don't want to do ballet themed shoots. Yet you have the info in your profile text and have ballet images in your portfolio. I'm guessing that you're willing to do ballet work for paid shoots but not trade? That would be my recommendation, since models who know ballet are highly in demand. However, as your profile text currently stands anyone hoping to hire a model for a dance shoot would bypass you and look elsewhere. You'll want to adapt your bio to reflect how it benefits your modeling skills in general and that you're willing to shoot dance work if hired. If you don't want to do them, period, you'll want to remove those images and either remove that text completely or make it less ambiguous. If you want to mention it since it effects your posing and expertise but don't want to book dance shoots, something like this would work well - "My lifelong experience as a ballet dancer lends itself to graceful and athletic poses. However, due to the physical exertion involved I am no longer booking dance shoots."

3. "I'm always looking to build my portfolio. I do enjoy TF, but I am looking for paying shoots." - This is going to lead practically every single photographer who contacts you to ask for trade. It basically says that you'd like to be paid but will accept trade anyway. You'll want to look over the bios of successful models who inspire you and see how they phrase their rates sections. Your portfolio indicates that you should still be doing trade to build your portfolio while charging photographers whose work won't benefit you, so don't choose wording that rules out TF completely. Just make sure that your profile text comes across as professional and leaves you open to be able to charge, rather than making it look like you trade with almost anybody - that means that when you decline trade with someone they'll take it personally.

4. I would consider changing your avatar - it doesn't show you well at all, and in fact hides your body and makes your face so small we know nothing about your features. Just from seeing your avatar in this thread I assumed you were a total amateur. I think changing that and your profile text will do a lot to help boost the quality of shoots you get as you build your portfolio up to get more paid work.

I hope this helps! Feel free to let me know if you have any questions.

Emma Joan wrote:

I'd love to hear any advise you have on changing things up to eventually start accepting paid work.   I will definitely revise my bio for errors.  Thanks all around for the help!

Hi Emma.

It looks like you've changed up your bio a little since I critiqued you, but there are still several grammar errors you might want to attend to. As for changing up your profile to attract more paid work, you'll want to take out the general information about you and gear your profile text to be professional and informative - conveying your strengths as a model and information that photographers need to know in order to shoot you in a friendly and informative manner. I highly recommend going back through this thread and reviewing what I've told other models. And feel free to private message me if you have questions.

shaunileigh wrote:
Great idea, I'd be extremely grateful for some feedback. Thanks in advance

Hi there!

Ok so your branding is a bit ambiguous. I get the impression that you have experience and know what you're doing, but that you still aren't quite at a level where you're really experienced or netting much paid work yet. It feels like you probably get some, but if you changed up your branding to be a bit less ambiguous you'd likely start getting more and better work offers.

You state that this is your third year in the industry. Assuming that means your third year modeling, I'm left to wonder if you were doing it full time or just as a hobbyist, since neither your profile text or your portfolio indicate that you've been modeling that long. You have a good look, but you need more images, and you need a portfolio that shows more of you - you don't have a single good full body image, which will definitely keep you from working with designers.

Overall, you come across as a somewhat experienced hobbyist who treats this professionally but doesn't shoot much. Whether or not your goal is to shoot trade or get paid work, I'd like to see you clean up your profile text and add more quality work to your portfolio. Don't just pull in old images to expand it - take a look at the style of images your favorite wardrobe designers shoot, and go seek out photographers who are willing to shoot that type of work. If you're aiming for a certain goal you need to focus your branding on that. Right now it feels like you've cast your net wide, hoping to get any shoots that might come your way, without discernment as to whether it will help you reach your goals.

I hope this helps!


Edit: I just checked out your Facebook page, and you definitely have more experience and more potential than your MM profile shows. I highly recommend going through and seeing what I've recommended to other models in this thread, as well as taking a look at how successful models you look up to brand themselves. Revise a little, then feel free to come back and ask for another review. I'm happy to tell you if you're on the right track or not.

EpicTiffy wrote:
interested to see what you think

Hi there!

Your bio text makes you read as a hobbyist. Not a bad thing, just something to be aware of. If you don't want to be perceived as one, take out the 'aspiring' and the goals section and focus on sounding professional. Sounding fun is good, but it needs to be tempered with professionalism if you want to be perceived as professional. Also, if you say you're happy to accept both paid and tf expect a lot of trade offers! That wording sounds like you'd like to be paid but will accept any trade that comes your way.

Moving to your portfolio, you look quite amateur. You seem to have some experience and confidence in front of the camera, but you still need to be trading to boost your portfolio before expecting many paid offers. But remember to keep improving the quality of the photographers you work with. Quality over quantity, all the way!

You definitely seem to be branding yourself for pinup, and maybe some glamour. Your avatar makes me think pinup, and your portfolio backs it up - cute, fun, and sexy. But this proves you have a lot more depth:

You don't have to stick with pinup unless you want to. I suspect you could pull off multiple other styles. So have a thought about whether you want to continue branding yourself for pinup or change it up.

I hope this helps! As always, I recommend reading back through the thread for advice on how to write your bio text. Feel free to message me if you have any questions, and if you change things up and want another review go on and hop back in - I don't mind critiquing people multiple times.

Lynn Massey wrote:
Would love to hear your feedback!

Hey there Lynn!

Wow, I love your work! I do think you'd benefit quite a bit from narrowing your portfolio down to your best 8 images (12 max). Your bio establishes you as a part time professional - modeling isn't your only job or main endeavor, but you take it seriously and deserve the term professional. You also establish your value - just from reading your bio I know that you're worth hiring for a lot of photographers. My only nitpick is that you might want to add something inviting photographers to message you if they'd like to help facilitate your travel - I'm sure many would like to see you in their area.

Moving to your portfolio was a treat - your avatar doesn't do you justice. You have a style that seems to be best described as emotive nudes - I'm digging the moody noir feel. I'd really like to see you trade with some quality photographers and expand your portfolio some. (I know I told you to narrow it down, and I swear that's not counter intuitive. Many of your images are holding your portfolio back - it will be stronger without them. But you should be looking to add more images as strong or stronger than the current best in your portfolio.)

I think you could do a wide range of genres, but I suspect that the distinct emotive quality you bring will distinguish you in each and every genre you try. The emotive nudes seem to fit you well though - I say call it a brand and run with it, then expand your reach as you go.

If you have any further questions please feel free to message me.

Ashley828 wrote:
I would love to get some feedback from you! Thanks

Hi Ashley!

So here's the deal - you don't give yourself the credit you deserve in your bio text. And if you don't, your clients won't. So here's your homework:
-Cut your portfolio down to 12 or less images. I counted about 8 that I really liked, and about 10 that I'd include in your portfolio, but I'm giving you wiggle room for favorites.
-Look at that, and go "damn, that's a good portfolio!"
-Rewrite your bio to sound like the confident, experienced professional that you are. You aren't an aspiring model, you're a model! You don't believe you have a versatile look, you have one! You still need to grow into that fully, keep trading and practicing, but don't sell yourself short either.
-Once you've done that, come back and post again and I'll take a look at what I hope will be your new and much more cohesive branding. <3

Hit me up if you have any questions, and as always I recommend browsing through my earlier responses to see the feedback I have on writing a professional bio.

Amber Coye  wrote:
Good Afternoon Eleanor, You're a huge inspiration to me and I hope you don't skip me because I am brand new to all of this and look forward to your input!

Hey Amber! So I have to admit that I was hoping you'd make more changes before I got to you on here. I know from our chat that you're bright, driven, and passionate about modeling. I'd really like to see that come across in your bio text and portfolio.

I'm going to give you some tough love here. The beginning of the about you section of your portfolio - nobody cares. That's just a list of things that appear to distract you from modeling. Your portfolio could easily be trimmed down to this (please note that I'm not only cutting things out but condensing and rewording in places since we've talked and I know a bit about your goals):

I am a relatively new model, but I'm dedicated to learning the ropes and give my all at every shoot. I'm currently focusing on shooting implied, glamour, and alternative work, and I especially love to shoot outdoors! I exercise regularly (Crossfit) and eat healthy, but I am also proud of my body the way it is. I absolutely love that the industry has finally discovered that beauty is in all shapes and sizes, which is why I decided now is the time to finally strive for what I've always dreamed of doing and become a model. I want to be inspire young women who look like me and show it does not matter what size you are, you're beautiful no matter what.

In addition to modeling I am a business professional and avid animal lover. My busy schedule requires that I book in advance (preferably at least two weeks notice). Weekends are best for me, but with enough notice I am sometimes able to shoot on weekdays as well. Please send me a pm to discuss shoot details.

In terms of your portfolio.... As is, you look like a newbie who's REALLY into pot. Right now, I seriously recommend condensing down to four images that show your body shape and face. And get those new images up asap. Like I told you before, you need to be trading a lot right now to get experience and improve your portfolio, but remember to keep trading up.

Please post in here again once you've upgraded your portfolio (and hopefully bio text as well!) and I'll happily give you another review.

Nicque wrote:
I would love to get some feedback from you about my bio and portfolio. It would really help me to see where I need to improve. Thank you!

Hi Nicque!

Your portfolio has an awesome sexy and badass vibe going, but it could be stronger. I don't think you're at a point yet where you should be expecting mostly paid shoots. Get out there and find some photographers whose work you think is awesome and book some trade shoots to boost your portfolio a bit more. For now, narrow it down to the best 8 images. Your first 6 are way better quality than the rest. They show what your portfolio could be, but the older work drags it down.

As for your bio, it honestly reads as a bit high maintenance. You sound like a hobbyist ("Modeling has been one of my many passions") and your portfolio just isn't good enough to state that you're seeking mainly paid shoots. You could certainly charge people whose portfolios don't interest you, but you should still be doing a healthy mix of paid and trade work. Consider stating "I shoot up to implied nudes" rather than "I don't shoot nudes" as well - it sounds less confrontational. From an aesthetic standpoint the spacing makes it hard to read, and it could be organized better as well. I recommend checking out the tips I gave early on in this thread on how to write a professional bio.

I hope this helps! Please feel free to message me with any questions, and if you change things up and want my opinion on it feel free to post in here again.

Asdeleon wrote:
I would be very  interested to know what you think.
Thanks!
❤️

Hi there!

Your bio text starts out strong - it gives a great sense of your personality and establishes you as an experienced professional. But a few things might be holding you back:
-I would remove the section starting with "I am interested in doing photo shoots with..." Anyone who wants to trade with you will just throw together a shoot idea with one of those many things and then get upset if you turn it down due to the quality of their work.
-You don't need to say up front that you'll be checking references. That's standard.
-You probably already know that requiring an escort will hold back your career as a model. That's your choice to make. But that section could be worded quite a bit better.

Moving on.... Your portfolio actually disappointed me. I expected something reflecting much more experience after reading your bio. What does that mean for you?
1. Good job on your copy!
2. Let's get to work on that portfolio!

You have two important tasks right now. First, narrow down that portfolio to your best 8 images. That will make a HUGE difference. Then, find some photographers whose work inspires you and set up some trade shoots to start expanding and improving your portfolio.

I hope this helps! Feel free to message me if you have any questions, and if you change things up and want another review go on and hop back in - I don't mind critiquing people multiple times.

Eleanor Rose wrote:
Hi Jen! Your branding, overall, makes me suspect that you're an established model using this profile for your fun/creative shoots, and/or that you were an established model who has now retired and is doing the same. Your bio indicates hobbyist, but a hobbyist who knows the lingo and to ask for rights to images. And while the bottom row of your portfolio looks amateur, the top two tell me you have experience.

To be honest, I'm not sure what your goal on here is, but I think you know what you'redoing and how to get it. I hope this helps in some way. If I read the scenario completely wrong and you want some help like I've given other models on achieving cohesive branding, feel free to let me know.

Hi,

Awesome, I hadn't seen your reply before.

Really great of you to take the time. I guess I could be called an advanced amateur or enthused hobbyist. My dayjob as a nurse, under contract, limits me to this for now.

Jen
edit: oops, sorry, I really thought I was under my Jen B profile, (here --> https://www.modelmayhem.com/2196584 )