Iona Lynn 2 wrote:
She has boundaries based on her relationship. No need for her to explain or defend her relationship boundaries to you.

Also, the way you describe the communication, she said no to a couples shoot.
You changing the shoot details does not change her NO, into a YES.

You have a project that requires two people, you want them to interact as a couple.
Your best bet is to cast for a real life couple or two models who model in duet together.

I just want to make something clear before all of this goes south. I changed the shoot to fit what she was comfortable with because I enjoyed working with her. At first she said no to kissing so I got rid of it. Second time it seemed like it was related to being in an embrace with a guy so I changed it. When she said no because they have gotten into fights about it and she can't be in pictures with other men at all, that's when I just dropped it. I was trying to collaborate with her and make sure she was comfortable. I wasn't pushing myself on her and telling her what to do. I was left with a sense that her and her boyfriend have bad fights and it wasn't a good situation. I was a victim of "stuff" when I was younger, so to me, some stuff she was saying came across as not great. I'm wondering out loud about this because I felt like I didn't say enough, or handle it correctly, but maybe not saying anything and just letting it go was for the best.

Also, it's not easy to find a couple in which both people fit into the look you have in mind. And I never said she needed to explain herself to me. I was worried about her and wanted to know if things were fine. I didn't ask her, and even if I had, she didn't need to tell me anything. It's just a weird situation when you're trying to keep it professional but you feel like something is off.

Darkness Bodypaint wrote:
If a model says no to you, respect that. All you have to say is "Next".

Ok so here is how the conversation basically went so we can stop with the narrative of I didn't respect her no.

I contact her and tell her about the shoot and if she would be interested.

She said no because she can't kiss another guy because her boyfriend would get pissed.

I said, oh ok I can take out the kiss if that's the issue.

She said she can't because she would still have to hold the guy.

I said we can take that out too and figure out how to shoot it so it still feels romantic without kissing or anyone touching anyone.

She said no because she's not allowed to appear with any guy that isn't him in pictures or any projects. Then she told me they have fought about it a lot and she doesn't want to piss him off.

That's the convo basically. When you want to work with someone, and you are open to changing stuff, you talk about it. I wasn't sure what her boundaries were, if it was the kissing, the embrace, what exactly is the thing that would piss her boyfriend off, so I asked to see if we could make it work somehow.

This was literally me trying to understand what the boundaries were the whole time. Once I understood the situation, I was worried but moved on. When she said she can't kiss anyone because of her boyfriend, instead of trying to work with her should I have just been like ok bye, instead of changing things to make sure she is comfortable? I wasn't married to the full idea to begin with which is why I was open to offering changes as well. If i wanted a kiss I would have said cool it's not going to work out.

Garry k wrote:
Boyfriends can be like that … Possessive and Controlling

Hey Garry, long time! Hope all is well. God, I had forgotten what MM is like. I don't even feel like I can agree with you now because it could get turned into something ugly super fast. Anyway, hi again lol.

Shadow Dancer wrote:
I think you did fine under the circumstances.
Even though you did get some good work with her, if that happened to me I would not contact her again for any reason.

For that matter, I wouldn't have posted it here either. When things don't work, just move on and stay positive.
It's too easy for others to make assumptions and comment accordingly. It's done, why tempt fate?

Thanks. I'm someone that really thinks about boundaries, not crossing them, doing the right thing and trying to work with people. I'm also someone that has dealt with a lot in life so really, I care. I was worried about her.

Posting this here was a mistake for sure. I feel like I have to show people footage from 10 years ago of me sitting in front of my computer replying to her, along with some futuristic thought scan of what I was thinking, followed by my life story, so they can understand the nuances of the situation and not label me carelessly with whatever they want to. I need to stick to rating pictures and things like that on here instead of sharing any stories on here.

ImOutOfHere wrote:

Hey Garry, long time! Hope all is well. God, I had forgotten what MM is like. I don't even feel like I can agree with you now because it could get turned into something ugly super fast. Anyway, hi again lol.

Very few People here know who I am anymore , and I try not to say anything too controversial lol

Hope All is Well with You too