Hey guys, I am trying to build a strong portfolio, check it out and let me know what things can be changed, thanks.

If you're just looking to find models to test with on MM then I think your portfolio is okay to begin with.
Whether it's successful in getting you any paid commitments will depend on your market. In London you would have to be very lucky...
The way you treat skin is tending to accentuate shininess:


This sort of global skin treatment can work well but you need to dodge and burn afterwards to even things out. The cheeks on this model could do with evening out and there are some uneven patches of tone around the mouth.

On the whole a good start.