Koryn Locke wrote:

It's a nice thought that, if you take good care of your man, you will get more attention and affection. That's the "ideal" situation, but I've noticed too that a lot of men will start losing interest in a woman once she begins to do companion-type things for him, like doing his laundry, or preparing meals. Either the male gets frightened out of the relationship when they see these roles becoming apparent, or he then starts to see the female as unremarkable and boring, and loses interest.

There are lots of men who feel like, in order to sustain sexual interest in a female, they have to keep her at a distance. I suspect I am involved with one of those men right now. Once they start to know you "as a whole person" ---so, around the time a genuine connection starts to form --- you either become frightening to them, or no longer sexually appealing.

Working in strip clubs, it was VERY common for men to tell me about how their sexual attraction to a woman would start to die off as soon as they actually got to "know" her. It was a common complaint, regarding why they went from relationship to relationship, remaining unsatisfied in any of them, after a few months.

Probably another version of the Madonna-whore complex thing.

Such men have intimacy issues in general, a fairly common problem that usually traces back to their childhood - lack of a father / father figure for instance, or a mother that is either overbearing/dominant or distant.

That's a whole different ball game to mend, often one that the wife / girlfriend alone can't overcome without him seeking professional support.

Intimacy is and many men still learn to shut themselves off emotionally when they enter that stage of a relationship. To un-learn such deeply embedded behavioral patterns is not easy.

I've been with such men too and if you do not see an honest effort from him to address these problems, you are wasting your time in such a relationship. My father was one of the most emotionally unavailable and distant men I have ever known and he could never develop the courage to tackle his issues, let alone overcome them. My mother wasted many of her best years being with him and trying to fix him, a mistake I made sure not to repeat myself.

There's nothing worse in a relationship than feeling disconnect with the person you love and care for.

Jojo West wrote:

I have to completely agree. Some may scoff or criticize my train of thought, but it works for me. My husband is my world. I respect, admire and adore him in and out of bed. I treat him like a king, and in turn he treats me like a queen made of glass... out of bed .

It's an unpopular attitude with feminists, that's for sure.

But then again common sense prevails and success speaks for itsself, whereas Zeitgeist is forever arbitrary and in flux.

Jules NYC wrote:

Lmao

Yeah man, gives me hope!

London Fog wrote:

Yeah man, gives me hope!

You're cool Arun

Jules NYC wrote:

You're cool Arun

No complaints so far!

London Fog wrote:

No complaints so far!

Ditto that

Jules NYC wrote:
Nothing is more satisfying than being with an emotionally intelligent ADULT.

Amen ... goes for both sexes

Atelier57  wrote:

Amen ... goes for both sexes

Yes indeed

Jojo West wrote:
I have to completely agree. Some may scoff or criticize my train of thought, but it works for me. My husband is my world. I respect, admire and adore him in and out of bed. I treat him like a king, and in turn he treats me like a queen made of glass... out of bed .

Russian Katarina wrote:
It's an unpopular attitude with feminists, that's for sure.

But then again common sense prevails and success speaks for itsself, whereas Zeitgeist is forever arbitrary and in flux.

I consider myself a feminist, but I do believe that you should try to do for your mate, and "take care of them" to the best of your abilities --- regardless of what gender you choose to connect with romantically.

Even if I was in a same-sex partnership, I would probably still fill the same domestic roles I feel compelled to fill in a heterosexual context. Homemaking and nurturing has always come pretty naturally to me. I want a mate to feel contented with their home-life, to feel safe and cared for at home. That's a big thing for me.

It's not anti-feminist to be a "giver." It's just something you either enjoy, or you don't enjoy.

Jules NYC wrote:
My thoughts on this thread

Pretty nice typesetting for a cardboard sign.

Koryn Locke wrote:

Two Pears Studio wrote:
Fantasy sex is often overrated.... but it is rarely fulfilling.

bullshit.

I fantasized about having sex with women for more than a decade before I actually managed to have that experience.

It was even better than I ever envisioned in my head, all those years.

Fantasy sex shows us what we *want.* We want things for a reason, most of the time.


And this just makes no sense whatsoever.

I said it can be pleasurable... but by itself it is not enough to sustain someone. It is not a cause in a person's faithfulness. 

The rest of it... take it or leave it... you may not get it, but I do.

Jules NY[/quote wrote:

Lighten up man
There are far too many cougar jokes out there to take this all to heart

Always loved cougars ...  my bbf and lover for over is 7 yrs older than me   not a cougars for me ... just a sexy mature women who knows what she wants and how to get it

Atelier57  wrote:

Always loved cougars ...  my bbf and lover for over is 7 yrs older than me   not a cougars for me ... just a sexy mature women who knows what she wants and how to get it

TMI! Like we give a rats ass!

jesse paulk wrote:
fuck this thread and everyone answering this dbag's stupid shit

the only proper reply is, "your a moron OP"

You're.

London Fog wrote:

TMI! Like we give a rats ass!

Who peed in your cheerios?

Orca Bay Images wrote:

You're.

thanks

Atelier57  wrote:
Always loved cougars ...  my bbf and lover for over is 7 yrs older than me   not a cougars for me ... just a sexy mature women who knows what she wants and how to get it

It's funny, I never really understood the cougar tag.
If a woman connects with whomever for any reason, that's her business.
Men get older too.

What makes me chuckle is how men have so many expectations for women.
I grow tired of little boys.

So men... Try not to look busted and take care of your health!
Moisturizer is a good start.

Andialu wrote:

Who peed in your cheerios?

Frosted Flakes actually, and they taste gross with pee!

Jules NYC wrote:

It's funny, I never really understood the cougar tag.
If a woman connects with whomever for any reason, that's her business.
Men get older too.

What makes me chuckle is how men have so many expectations for women.
I grow tired if little boys.

So men... Try not to look busted and take care of your health!
Moisturizer is a good start.

Hand cream works wonders too!

London Fog wrote:

Frosted Flakes actually, and they taste gross with pee!

London Fog wrote:

Hand cream works wonders too!

Lmao

Andialu wrote:

Pretty nice typesetting for a cardboard sign.

Isn't it?

Koryn Locke wrote:

Jojo West wrote:
I have to completely agree. Some may scoff or criticize my train of thought, but it works for me. My husband is my world. I respect, admire and adore him in and out of bed. I treat him like a king, and in turn he treats me like a queen made of glass... out of bed .

I consider myself a feminist, but I do believe that you should try to do for your mate, and "take care of them" to the best of your abilities --- regardless of what gender you choose to connect with romantically.

Even if I was in a same-sex partnership, I would probably still fill the same domestic roles I feel compelled to fill in a heterosexual context. Homemaking and nurturing has always come pretty naturally to me. I want a mate to feel contented with their home-life, to feel safe and cared for at home. That's a big thing for me.

It's not anti-feminist to be a "giver." It's just something you either enjoy, or you don't enjoy.

I was referring to mainstream feminism which is riddled with a man-hating agenda dating back to the 1960ies, there are indeed other schools of feminism that are more inclusive towards men.

Still, the fact that JoJo basically apologized preemptively for writing that she enjoys taking care of her man should tell you how prevalent and mainstream this agenda still is.

I think it is something to take pride in, not something to be ashamed of. Women today are so under pressure to appear dominant, emancipated and in control at all times, as if it was a sign of weakness of character when a woman is a devoted wife and/or mother.

True emancipation means doing what comes natural to you, not rigidly following the current Zeitgeist.

London Fog wrote:

TMI! Like we give a rats ass!

... ah yes ..you can always tell when a brother ain't getting any lmao!

jesse paulk wrote:

thanks

It must be a law of nature or physics that anyone who calls someone a moron ends up getting the you're/your wrong. It's like the buttered side of a piece of bread, when dropped, always ends up hitting the floor.

Atelier57  wrote:

London Fog wrote:

TMI! Like we give a rats ass!

... ah yes ..you can always tell when a brother ain't getting any lmao!

Yeah, yeah whatever!

Russian Katarina wrote:

It's an unpopular attitude with feminists, that's for sure.

But then again common sense prevails and success speaks for itsself, whereas Zeitgeist is forever arbitrary and in flux.

Perhaps the feminists of the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s even? I think in this day and age, after the effects of feminism have sunk in...women are starting to find that happy medium. I still think I have the same rights as any man, but does it make me blush when my husband opens doors for me? Yes, I feel appreciated and taken care of, even though we BOTH know I can take care of myself.

I don't believe in those extremes. Feminism was meant to be about political, economic, and social equality, which included education and employment. Somewhere along the line someone thought that meant women didn't want to be treated well, and made to feel special. I guess for some it meant it was ok to emasculate their men and disregard the whole "mutual happiness and respect" that should come with relationships.

Russian Katarina wrote:

I have no desire to "fulfill a guy's every fantasy" - I do enjoy fulfilling my husband's fantasies, though. I've been faithfully married for ten years and find that being "frisky and creative" and having an active sex life is a vital part of any happy marriage.

Why would that be mutually exclusive?

THIS

I am a freak, get bored easily, love sex of all kinds, and am still 100% faithful to my husband... don't even want to think about someone else!!   Lucky for me he's a faithful "freak" too!

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
Is there an inverse relationship between women that are faithful, and those that can and are willing to fulfill a guy's every fantasy? lol. It seems like the only women that any guys say are good in bed and frisky and creative are the ones that they fully expect have cheated on them. And those of women that are quite boring and under experienced sexually, and have no strong desire to be more sexual are the ones that are generally completely faithful. Are there too many women that are the best of both worlds, or are we talking total mutual exclusivity?

One of the more nonsensical ideas thrown around this place, known for nonsense

Jules NYC wrote:

LMAO. I love Cyanide

Ben Hinman wrote:

LMAO. I love Cyanide

Ditto that

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

Happy birthday!!

Thank you(-:

Orca Bay Images wrote:

It must be a law of nature or physics that anyone who calls someone a moron ends up getting the you're/your wrong. It's like the buttered side of a piece of bread, when dropped, always ends up hitting the floor.

it's 'cause when we are riled up sometimes we don't check ourselves :p

Ben Hinman wrote:
Whew... -_- Its like dealing with a bunch of middle schoolers. Sheesh.

says the guy who loves cyanide and happiness.

oh i love it to, cause its totally immature and stupid