I just got home from day 3 of 4 of the most grueling promotional gig I've ever worked and need to both freak out and be goofy for a bit.  Most of the people I serve while doing promotions are very nice, but these are the things I would really, really, like to scream at some of the others.  Fellow promotional models, feel free to add your own!!

-We are handing out free samples or information.  FREE means you are not a paying customer.  Don't expect a made-to-order sample.

-If you don't like the sample, don't buy the product.  No, the promo model isn't going to give you your money back- the sample was free, remember?

-Yes, the promo model is aware that she smells like or is covered in the product she is promoting.  You don't need to point it out to her.

-If the promo model is handing out dog food samples...no, she is not going to know what they taste like, and no, she cannot tell you whether or not your dog will like them. 

-If you are a dude who hasn't showered or brushed his teeth in a month...trust me, that cute little promo girl will NOT be going home with you tonight.  Stop hitting on her.

-Free samples are free samples- not free buffet tables or free bars.  If you like the sample, go buy the product.

-No, the liquor promo model is not refusing to do a shot with you because she's a "party-pooper" or "no fun."  She is refusing to do a shot with you because she is a professional, on the job. 

-If you are allergic to the product, don't come near the promo model.  She cannot magically sanitize the entire area for you.

-Promo models are not store or event employees- getting mixed up and asking them about a completely different product is forgivable, but, once they explain that they don't actually work for that store or event, yelling at them or complaining to the store manager just makes you look ridiculous.

-Companies give out free samples for advertising- expect the model to give you either written or verbal information about the product she's promoting.  If it's verbal, give her five seconds to give the schpiel.  If it's written, take it and read it or take it and throw it out, but don't throw it back at the model and say you don't want it.

-Promo model does not mind friendly small talk as she prepares your sample.  Promo model DOES mind having to hear your life story while other people line up behind you for their samples.

-When the product runs out or the promo model's shift ends, the promotion is over.  Sorry you didn't get your free sample...not much that can be done. 

-Any joke you can think of regarding the product, the model's uniform, or the surrounding environment...trust me, the promo model already heard it.

What would YOU really like to say when you're on promo duty??  Share away!!!