I'm not the typical model. I'm not tall. I don't consider myself gorgeous. But I'm edgy. I'm unique and I think I take some awesome photos! Sounds ciche... I realize. If you really want to get inside my head here goes:
I live in NYC. I love it.
I went to school to become a comic book artist. Instead I got a degree in perorming arts. Go figure. There has always been an attraction to that field for me though I'm not as die hard about it as some of my friends. My mom says I lack focus. And I'm always praying " to find my purpose... to find a direction."
In the past month I have done so much reflecting on all of this. And what have I come up with? It turns out that I do have direction. Life has directed me to places I didn't know existed. I have learned things that i didn't know I could learn. Some of what I learned was easy... like bar tending. Some of what I learned was also hard and bitter sweet. I have leanred what love is and what it means to surrender everything you have to the people you care most for. I have learned real forgiveness... through being forgiven myself for my mistakes and in now doing so for others. Now I have to surrender my life back into other hands. It's hard. And it's beautiful.
I look at my family and friends and I feel so blessed to have them. They support, comfort, lecture, scold, and sometimes torure me... but they are who they are.
So. I look back at my life. And sometimes I get lost. Sometimes I get lost in the worst way. But then when i really look back at all I have been through, I guess I've been lost in the best way too.
And so here I am. 25. The greatest city in the world. Trying to find myself... and yet all the same looking for the next place to get lost.