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A model that disappeared last Thursday after we had a super cool TF shot set for Friday posted this on her Facebook last night. "I seriously want to model again .. I don't care about the money or anything it's just fun .. I wish my bf would let me:/" I feel kind of sad for her but really glad the shoot didn't happen since apparently her BF was supposed to escort her... *edited for clarity... Jan 07 13 08:50 am Link on the flip side we have models where the boyfriend picks out an outfit for her to wear at the shoot or buys her some new shoes. some are supportive while others are not. if the modeling is important to the lady then i'm guessing the supportive ones last longer. the good news is boyfriends tend to come and go so maybe you can shoot her after this one moves on. Jan 07 13 08:54 am Link twoharts wrote: Yeah, from the sound of her post, moving on will happen sooner rather than later... Jan 07 13 08:59 am Link Not your problem. There are lots of women who are big girls who wear big girl panties and don't need their boyfriends to approve or accompany them to shoot. Schedule with one of them next time. Jan 07 13 09:00 am Link That sucks, but her boyfriend shouldn't be "letting her" do anything. She doesn't need his approval or permission. There are plenty of models with significant others that are actually supportive of their modeling, so I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else who isn't being dragged down by their boyfriend or girlfriend. Jan 07 13 09:02 am Link Been there, done that. My response: "That's unfortunate, for the both of you." and moved on. Jan 07 13 09:09 am Link Sedition wrote: You're lucky the shoot never took place. If her boyfriend is so controlling he probably would have caused a problem at the shoot if he was her escort. Jan 07 13 09:09 am Link Brianne Crystal wrote: This 100% The fact that she is actually listening to him is sad Jan 07 13 09:13 am Link Good Egg Productions wrote: +100 Jan 07 13 09:13 am Link And the next boyfriend can cause all new problems of his own not being happy with gf being a model. And the emails starts pouring in with requests of "take down this and take down that" because boy is not happy..... Jan 07 13 09:14 am Link I don't feel bad for anyone who, not only allows and thinks it's acceptable to let a bf control them, but then thinks it's a good idea to post it for the world. Why would you feel bad for someone who is a willing victim? Unless the model is 14 it's absolutely pathetic. Jan 07 13 09:17 am Link but how can a relationship work if you don't listen to your partner? if both of you are free to do as you please even if it upsets the other person that doesn't even sound like a relationship. just f*ck buddies. Cynthia Serrano wrote: Jan 07 13 09:17 am Link twoharts wrote: You're right. But I'd say "listening" might have been a less than idea choice of words. She isn't listening, she's obeying. Listening, as in give and take, is necessary. Obeying is severely dysfunctional. Jan 07 13 09:20 am Link twoharts wrote: Because it's not about listening and obeying (i.e., "I don't like it, so don't do it") -- it's about communicating those issues through and hopefully finding a compromise. Jan 07 13 09:22 am Link I've been a nonsupportive boyfriend in the past. My ex (won't share her MM#) was stupid enough to get herself killed way too quickly. Fell for every scam. I've also been a supportive boyfriend, to a smarter model. Point is, not everyone should try to be a model. The boyfriend is not always the bad guy. Jan 07 13 09:22 am Link twoharts wrote: If I want to do something career wise and my boyfriend "forbids it" I will move on I will not stand for someone forbidding me to do something although I agree somethings can be compromised but for him to straight out forbid it thats a red flag in my book Jan 07 13 09:23 am Link I ended up doing the shoot with a friend I have known since high school who's husband I went to grade school with. Photos of it are here... http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set= … 4d6be5c3b7 Jan 07 13 09:23 am Link twoharts wrote: ...because, hopefully, your values and needs are closely enough matched to your mate's values and needs, that these things will not be a problem. Jan 07 13 09:25 am Link I know many would scoff at this, but my husband is usually my llama herder and he does not get involved with outfit selection or interfere with the shoot. Often the photographer has needed help with holding equipment, which he readily helps with. There was only one instance where he insisted we finish the shoot as we were both freezing our butts off and the photographer wanted to keep shooting despite the fact that my feet were nearly numb and I was visibly uncomfortable. Jan 07 13 09:29 am Link yeah some of these girls seem really prone to falling for whatever BS a guy throws at them. seems like they could get talked into all sorts of things. maybe the boyfriend has good reason to be concerned. KonstantKarma wrote: Jan 07 13 09:30 am Link vbabe wrote: If you can't make those types of decisions for yourself without your husband stepping in and making them for you, you might be involved in the wrong hobby/profession. Jan 07 13 09:32 am Link relationships are hard even if you are a good match for each other. a lot of things happen that are beyond your control. i think you either decide to stick with it and keep working it out or move on and be single or find someone who will be a good fit for the current phase of your life (but maybe not the next phase). when i meet people who've been married for 30, 40 years i'm always very impressed. those are some stubborn people! they wouldn't give up even though maybe the big dog got off the porch a few times. or maybe they just didn't have other options. lol. the wife and i are at 22 or something like that. but we have wanted to kill each other a few times. Koryn Locke wrote: Jan 07 13 09:33 am Link some people are a team. the wife and i have worked together since 1995. i've never done a people shoot without her. heck i can't even find anything without her. lol. now maybe being a team for modeling doesn't go over so well with some photographers but others might be ok with it. Good Egg Productions wrote: Jan 07 13 09:37 am Link Good Egg Productions wrote: He wasn't stepping in, he simply just said what I had already voiced when he clearly did not listen when I said "we need to wrap this up" and just kept saying "one more photo" like five or six times. Jan 07 13 09:38 am Link I'm far too independent to let a man dictate what I can or can not do. My ex wanted me to stop modeling, he referred to my mother as "Godzilla" and he hated my friends...he's my ex for many a reason but those were high on the list. You don't disrespect my family, friends or ME! Am I perfect? Am I great? No....but I enjoy doing what I enjoy doing and I refuse to let anyone tear me down. Hopefully that young lady learns that if he loved her, he would allow her to do what she enjoyed, paid or unpaid. For a man (or woman) to take away someones joy...its not love, its jealousy, its control, its verbal/mental abuse (not always, but sometimes it can go that far)... Jan 07 13 09:39 am Link twoharts wrote: Love your logic! Jan 07 13 09:39 am Link after my wife's mother passed (she was a calming influence on everybody), i told my wife she had to choose between the remaining part of her family and me. if she had chosen them i would have helped her pack. they were the ones disrespecting her, disrespecting me and most importantly disrespecting our marriage. having an alcoholic in the family (even if it's just the extended family) is a nightmare. my mom tried to talk me into not marrying my wife. so they've never had the best of relationships. but when it's date night it's the wife wearing the slinky lingerie. she wins! it's just sometimes i think people want everything to be rainbows and unicorns and it's not always like that. there has to be flexibility and compromise. but maybe some just aren't cut out for that which is fine. no law that says you have to be in a long-term relationship. Melodye Joy wrote: Jan 07 13 09:52 am Link twoharts wrote: I'd love to be in a long term relationship and get married, but it was far more than an ex disliking my friends or my family. The constant walking on edge, never knowing when the bomb (him) would go off... Jan 07 13 10:44 am Link Brianne Crystal wrote: You apparently haven't ever seen how many models in your local area are also into the BDSM community to the extent that they list themselves as "owned/collared" to another on other websites... and that not only does their "dom" have to give permission for them to do a photoshoot, but generally he/she is the escort they insist upon bringing along. Jan 07 13 12:12 pm Link DeeEight wrote: Oh jeez. Well, that's a whole other story...I don't even know where to begin with things like that. To each their own, but... Jan 07 13 03:40 pm Link Brianne Crystal wrote: In those kinds of relationships most of them want to be controlled. Granted there are some that are being lied to and some that aren't completely there by choice. Jan 07 13 03:48 pm Link Michael Pandolfo wrote: 1 DeeEight wrote: In a D/s relationship, like any other, compromise is still a good way to go. Just because the sub is 'owned and collared' by the Dom doesn't mean that they will be told they can not do something they enjoy. As a compromise the Dom may add boundaries instead of flat out refusing to allow their sub to do something. For example they may limit the genres of modelling that the sub can do... Jan 08 13 03:05 am Link Good Egg Productions wrote: Jan 08 13 09:16 am Link KonstantKarma wrote: :rotfl: Jan 08 13 09:17 am Link You dodged a bullet there my friend. This is one of many reasons I don't allow escorts, ESPECIALLY boyfriends and husbands. I have made one exception to this rule and that's because the llama's sister wanted to shoot, too. I'm all for a two for one deal. But seriously, any girl who allows a guy to run her life like that has zero self-esteem and would likely be nothing but trouble. Sadly, she'll also be with this jackhole for years. No escort policy saves these headaches. I HIGHLY recommend it. Jan 08 13 09:21 am Link Kayz-Modelling wrote: D/s relationships are just like any other relationship, based on communication and compromise. Just because someone gives control to another, it doesn't mean that all aspects of the sub's life are controlled. With many of those relationships, there are things that are off-limits. Those who have no-limits should be with a partner who has proven that they aren't just control freaks - and that they have their sub's best interests in mind, wanting to see them grow into the best person they can be. And their commands should prove this. Jan 08 13 11:44 am Link My Husband is really supportive of my modelling. He is quite happy to give me free reign to buy outfits etc and trusts me judgements. He has never attended a shoot but given the chance, i think he would like to just to see what happens (not alot unless your involved in the shoot lol!). Maybe this is because i have always been supportive in his career and his dream career (two different things unfortunately.) If you love somebody, you want them to be happy and folow their dreams. Of course this is my Husband. For a boy/man who has jus started dating a new girl, they may be more unwilling to listen to their partners needs. Who knows. Jan 08 13 11:56 am Link Avonelle wrote: I completely agree, I don't think they should be able to control every decision in their subs life. And I certainly wasn't trying to condone that behavior, just pointing out that some may do things like that. As every relationship is different. If it is agreed to at the beginning of a D/s relationship that the Dom will not interfere with anything like work/modelling/etc then they shouldn't interfere with it! A hard limit is a hard limit after all. Jan 08 13 03:09 pm Link mine comes and helps carry camera equipment and brings everyone food ^.^ if photogs really say no one else can come then I normally have someone drop me off and meet the photog... just in case. Jan 08 13 03:11 pm Link thank god my bf is a photographer and knows how it works. Jan 08 13 03:16 pm Link |