NYMPH wrote:
Ah, Lika! I completely agree with you, actually. Modeling is a tough as nails business. Hence, why it can be a pro or a con for me. Curiously, it's not related to my levels of rejection or admiration. More so, it's about how honest I am with myself. If I'm busting my balls for my own beliefs, and my personal genre of modeling, I am as happy as a butterfly. If I'm lying through my teeth, doing fake shoots where I hate the photographer and concept, I start to doubt why I'm even a model at all.

This. Especially the last part. Nothing causes burnout faster than when I do concepts I'm not fond of. I haven't come across photographers whom I have hated, but a few that I didn't connect well, and when you work so hard for an idea that is boring or you've done dozens of times before, when it becomes a shoot with zero fun or appeal (except for the paying the bills)... That's when things turn stagnant, and I get run down and depressed, and vow to quit modeling forever. That break usually just lasts a few months, until I force myself to go out to a shoot that turns out to be filled with creativity and energy and passion, work that I can be PROUD to show off... Then I'm happy as a clam, revitalized and reaffirmed and vow to never stop.

Avonelle wrote:
Weight is such a tough thing in the modeling business, and although I'm pretty tiny and fit, I've had a few comments that I should lose a few pounds. Even though I know that I'm small, sometimes those comments sink into the brain and are hard to dislodge. Other people say that I need more curves. It is impossible to please anyone when it comes to that sort of stuff, which is sad.

You have a gorgeous body, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't need to lose weight, and you don't need more curves. Different people have diffrent tastes and preferences. You can't be all things to all people. Don't even try. What you need is exactly what you have.

Lizzy Borden wrote:

actually for me more recently as well, the depression has been exacerbated due to all the people not asking me to shoot but asking my model friends instead; or just ignoring my messages to shoot.

(hug)

Lizzy Borden wrote:
you know what? i had a really bad day at work today and i really feel like going off on someone (but i won't.)  it doesn't quite tie into modeling, except for the "feeling ignored/unappreciated" bit.

Sorry about the shitty work day. What are you currently doing? Is it stressful often? What do you do on stressful days normally? Do you enjoy your job? If you wanna vent about feeling ignored or unappreciated you can. It is for sure a not fun feeling. Thats a hard topic.

For myself, My work ethic is one where I like things done certain ways and I always want things completed and done "right". I go as far as to make things harder for myself even, often. I can manage to get myself all worked up because I am doing things in such a way and I automatically assume other people do things the same way. Most people just show up to get their money. Not everyone cares about what they are doing. If you care, that's a bonus, but it isnt common.

Just keep doing what you do. Know that at some point it will be worth it. If not now, at some point. I am sure you are gaining knowledge or experience. (and you have a job!) Imagine a ballsack smacking someones forehead the next time someone upsets you

Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:
I have found modeling to be very helpful in lightening my depression. I have had a massive boost in self-esteem and have been given a reason not to SI. Any other models have similar stories? How has depression affected your modeling?

Modeling affected my (undiagnosed)depression?

I was always happy modeling. It's a self esteem boost, there's always great conversation, and it's fun(:

Gabrielle Heather wrote:
ahhh silly me about the duration of the job. Hang in there with the job. I always used to have to work holidays. No Paid time off or any of that stuff. It was just what I was used to. It was usually busier around holidays though. More stressful. It all depended on where I was at what time. When I got a "big girl" job for a while having paid time off was the most awkward thing for me. Currently unemployed. Maybe not for long though. (have been for over a year though)

A job like you have I would think could be very stressful and have high turn around. Try not to bring work home with you. Leave all the bs where it should be. Much easier said than done though. Do you feel like you have yourself organized the best you can be at work? I find that I would rather take the time to set things up even if it takes me longer to start, so that it is easier and more methodical for me in the long run. The people however, will always be there. Some pleasant some not. When they are being dicks, I am smiling at them nodding my head yes, and cursing them the fuck out so bad in my head. Its the only way to survive. "and have a lovely day!!! go fuck yourself.......!

The people who are the real pains in the asses are the ones I REALLY want to turn their opinions of me around. My boss at the place I worked at the longest, pleasing customers is her main thing. Thats what she taught me. Im like, come on!!!!! This person is such a damn asshole!!!!! but most of her business is repeat or word of mouth and she is out on the floor of the restaurant a bunch. I learned a lot from her. If the customer is happy, then the business is happy. Its rare that she would cave and be negative TOWARDS THE CUSTOMER. Very rare.

As far as modeling and fb, I keep the two seperate. MM is for this stuff and fb is my private life. I know many people who intermingle the both, but thats not for me. Do you have a model fb? and a personal fb? About photographers not responding back to you, have you considered messaging them personally and saying would you like to set up a shoot? I have this concept in mind? I am available on this day? Id like to wear this?

i don't have separate fb for modeling because i don't really see the point in it i guess.  altho yea maybe it would help keep my personal life out of my professional...sadly i have wondered if stuff in my fb profile has pushed people away because maybe i sound like a PIA to work with. although just because i have a bad day at work, doesn't mean i'll have a bad attitude at a shoot, ya'know?

approaching a photographer about shooting is rough because, like i said, i never really have any ideas, outfits, etc in mind. sometimes they ask me for ideas, and i just can't come up with anything....

Lizzy Borden wrote:
you know what? i had a really bad day at work today and i really feel like going off on someone (but i won't.)  it doesn't quite tie into modeling, except for the "feeling ignored/unappreciated" bit.

In many cases, that will get diagnosed as "depression".

Image K wrote:

In many cases, that will get diagnosed as "depression".

either depression or it's the truth, lol.  i don't think it's quite disputable to say that people really don't respond to anything i post either on here or on fb, or that photographers work with other models but don't ask me to shoot, or don't respond to my msgs asking to shoot.  the reasons, tho, they may be in my head.

i've pretty much been diagnosed as having anxiety and depression already, years ago   i've tried like 4 different meds and nothing really worked.  therapy...eh i'm not a fan, because i'm not great with dealing with advice.  and even if i wanted therapy i can't really do it because i don't have health insurance.  even nys insurance doesn't cover mental health issues.

Kaia Murphy wrote:
Hello lovelies!

I'm going to rant real quick about a recent comment I received on a vimeo that was posted: "sagging breasts beautiful face but damage already." That was the entirety of the comment - cut and pasted it myself.

Yep. My breasts are not perky. First bra at age 11, and by 16 I was a 36D. Ta-da! Gravity works! I realize I could have a surgery to bring them back up to where they were when I was a teenager, but I opt not to do so. I can't afford it, and even if I did have that kind of money I'd just put it toward my school loans anyhow. *shrug* Okay, got me there. Sagging breasts - check.

But then, oh no! My face is damaged! Yeah. Again, probably true. I love the sun, and I rarely ever burn. Most of my life I haven't worn sunscreen or stayed indoors away from the sun. Instead, I went outdoors and played sports in the sun. I also don't wear makeup (unless asked to do so for a shoot), and so my facial imperfections are not masked on a regular basis. Okay, got me again. My face is "damaged."

My conclusion: ouch, dude. Um...thanks for the feedback?

Don't take it to heart gorgeous

P.S.
As a 34DDD I relate

Kaia Murphy wrote:
Hello lovelies!

I'm going to rant real quick about a recent comment I received on a vimeo that was posted: "sagging breasts beautiful face but damage already." That was the entirety of the comment - cut and pasted it myself.

Yep. My breasts are not perky. First bra at age 11, and by 16 I was a 36D. Ta-da! Gravity works! I realize I could have a surgery to bring them back up to where they were when I was a teenager, but I opt not to do so. I can't afford it, and even if I did have that kind of money I'd just put it toward my school loans anyhow. *shrug* Okay, got me there. Sagging breasts - check.

But then, oh no! My face is damaged! Yeah. Again, probably true. I love the sun, and I rarely ever burn. Most of my life I haven't worn sunscreen or stayed indoors away from the sun. Instead, I went outdoors and played sports in the sun. I also don't wear makeup (unless asked to do so for a shoot), and so my facial imperfections are not masked on a regular basis. Okay, got me again. My face is "damaged."

My conclusion: ouch, dude. Um...thanks for the feedback?

HA! They obviously didnt look close enough! You are beautiful! I am not perfect either I will never be again! Someone was being shallow and a real ass hat!

mike connor wrote:
Autumn Rose - it's hard, but why not apply the same compassion you exhibit in dealing with the other llamas here to yourself?

You're right, I need to be kinder to myself. The purple looks nice

Kaia Murphy wrote:
Hello lovelies!

I'm going to rant real quick about a recent comment I received on a vimeo that was posted: "sagging breasts beautiful face but damage already." That was the entirety of the comment - cut and pasted it myself.

Yep. My breasts are not perky. First bra at age 11, and by 16 I was a 36D. Ta-da! Gravity works! I realize I could have a surgery to bring them back up to where they were when I was a teenager, but I opt not to do so. I can't afford it, and even if I did have that kind of money I'd just put it toward my school loans anyhow. *shrug* Okay, got me there. Sagging breasts - check.

But then, oh no! My face is damaged! Yeah. Again, probably true. I love the sun, and I rarely ever burn. Most of my life I haven't worn sunscreen or stayed indoors away from the sun. Instead, I went outdoors and played sports in the sun. I also don't wear makeup (unless asked to do so for a shoot), and so my facial imperfections are not masked on a regular basis. Okay, got me again. My face is "damaged."

My conclusion: ouch, dude. Um...thanks for the feedback?

what a dick. i bet he's freaking gorgeous...?!

Avonelle wrote:

This. Especially the last part. Nothing causes burnout faster than when I do concepts I'm not fond of. I haven't come across photographers whom I have hated, but a few that I didn't connect well, and when you work so hard for an idea that is boring or you've done dozens of times before, when it becomes a shoot with zero fun or appeal (except for the paying the bills)... That's when things turn stagnant, and I get run down and depressed, and vow to quit modeling forever. That break usually just lasts a few months, until I force myself to go out to a shoot that turns out to be filled with creativity and energy and passion, work that I can be PROUD to show off... Then I'm happy as a clam, revitalized and reaffirmed and vow to never stop.

kudos to both of you!!!!!!! I agree 100 percent you nailed it!

Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:


Pic from today...I feel like I look like a hippo

Posting a photo of yourself and then belittling yourself means you're looking for others to validate your self-image. You want people to tell you that you're wrong and you look great.

You don't like the way you are? You think you're fat? Then workout. Eat healthier. But don't look to the opinions of strangers on the Internet to validate your beauty. Change what you dislike about yourself, instead of running yourself down and relying on others to pick you up. Otherwise, the cycle will never end.

California Girls Skate wrote:

Posting a photo of yourself and then belittling yourself means you're looking for others to validate your self-image. You want people to tell you that you're wrong and you look great.

You don't like the way you are? You think you're fat? Then workout. Eat healthier. But don't look to the opinions of strangers on the Internet to validate your beauty. Change what you dislike about yourself, instead of running yourself down and relying on others to pick you up. Otherwise, the cycle will never end.

You are very right, it is something I will try to work on

Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:
You are very right, it is something I will try to work on

How?

You feel that you're overweight, so you have only 2 choices:
1. Accept yourself as you are.
2. Eat healthy and start working out.

You had a third option:
3. Be disappointed in yourself and hope others will help you feel beautiful.

I think you're beautiful, but it doesn't matter, because that third option hasn't been working for you. I suggest you pick one of the first two.

California Girls Skate wrote:

How?

You feel that you're overweight, so you have only 2 choices:
1. Accept yourself as you are.
2. Eat healthy and start working out.

You had a third option:
3. Be disappointed in yourself and hope others will help you feel beautiful.

I think you're beautiful, but it doesn't matter, because that third option hasn't been working for you. I suggest you pick one of the first two.

My choice is a combination of 1 and 2. I'm going to try and apply the serenity prayer to my life. I will find at least one thing I love about myself and say it every morning and I will focus on having better eating habits and being more active

California Girls Skate wrote:
You feel that you're overweight, so you have only 2 choices:
1. Accept yourself as you are.
2. Eat healthy and start working out.

You had a third option:
3. Be disappointed in yourself and hope others will help you feel beautiful.

ha, yea, pretty much. painful realization to accept.

i've got #3 down pat, and sadly that doesn't help much either. especially since i don't seem to get compliments anymore...but that may be because i haven't been able to do a lot of shoots lately, so no pretty photos to show off

right now i guess i'd say i'm working on #1 because i am just not having much luck with #2.  i like junk food too much, and i'm an emotional eater =/  and i stand all day at my job, which hurts my feet and makes me want to exercise even less.
but if nothing else i hope i'll be able to start forcing myself to exercise more. damn winter, btw.

Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:


Pic from today...I feel like I look like a hippo

Edit: I feel not-so-great about myself today and will start a to-do list to make my self-image better. No one else can make me happy or love me until I can do both myself

i think you have great curves!  the only thing i would suggest is to make sure you suck in your stomach...and that's NOT a criticism at all, all models no matter how thin do it. especially when they/we are sitting, we all get a bit of a pooch.

Lizzy Borden wrote:

ha, yea, pretty much. painful realization to accept.

i've got #3 down pat, and sadly that doesn't help much either. especially since i don't seem to get compliments anymore...but that may be because i haven't been able to do a lot of shoots lately, so no pretty photos to show off

right now i guess i'd say i'm working on #1 because i am just not having much luck with #2.  i like junk food too much, and i'm an emotional eater =/  and i stand all day at my job, which hurts my feet and makes me want to exercise even less.
but if nothing else i hope i'll be able to start forcing myself to exercise more. damn winter, btw.

We can support each other

Lizzy Borden wrote:

i think you have great curves!  the only thing i would suggest is to make sure you suck in your stomach...and that's NOT a criticism at all, all models no matter how thin do it. especially when they/we are sitting, we all get a bit of a pooch.

Thanks, I will keep that in mind. I'm actually gonna start using my weighted hula-hoop again. It's almost 5lbs and is an amazing ab workout

Autumn Rose Brightly wrote:
My choice is a combination of 1 and 2. I'm going to try and apply the serenity prayer to my life. I will find at least one thing I love about myself and say it every morning and I will focus on having better eating habits and being more active

That sounds like a great plan.

As for working out, I once heard an awesome piece of advice from Chalene Johnson who said that workouts are like romantic relationships. You can't just commit yourself to an exercise routine, then give up when things don't work out. You keep searching until your find your right partner and you do the same with exercise - keep searching until you find a routine which clicks and resonates with you.

Good luck.

California Girls Skate wrote:

That sounds like a great plan.

As for working out, I once hear an awesome piece of advice from Chalene Johnson who said that workouts are like romantic relationships. You can't just commit yourself to an exercise routine, then give up when things don't work out. You keep searching until your find your right partner and you do the same with exercise - keep searching until you find a routine which clicks and resonates with you.

Good luck.

Thanks