Bek Ruszin wrote:

There's really nothing much for me to say.  Maybe do some more shots that seem to capture the model mid-motion such as this:
https://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/28567006
Really love this one.

Venture outdoors?

Not much for me to offer - solid port.

Wow Bek, if that's you grumpy, I'd sure like to catch you on a good day
Thank you
Oh btw, I looove your self portrait, CRAZY 8D xx

Bek Ruszin wrote:

Ok, I'd really like to see you move in a more edgy/faux fashion/artistic sort of direction.  Like this:

The only problem?  Bad crop.  Bad, BAD CROP!  YOU GO SIT IN A CORNER, CROP!

I don't know what else to tell you.  Your stuff isn't bad and it shows a degree of know-how, but there's nothing that's really jumping out at me (save for the image above).  Push the envelope a little more.  Head in that artistic direction.  Oh, and once you do, dump the maternity shots.

Thanks for your insight...hope you're feeling better!!

sasweets wrote:
No constructive criticism. Just disrespectful and belittling. Great job. Don't even get why you bothered to reply since you said you were done with the conversation. .-. Anyways I'm just going to go it's boring talking to a sick person. Dans tous les sens du mot.

Wait.  He wasn't disrespectful or belittling.  He told you two major problems (from his perspective, I can't comment because you didn't ask me), and you got your feelings hurt.  If you don't want to know the truth, why would you ask for it?

To the OP, you could pick one of mine to cull if you like.

DG at studio47 wrote:
So funny how people don't get that grumpy = serious critique. its great that you spent so much time giving honest, serious critique. thanks and hope you feel better soon.

Ok, I'm even more miserable than I was last night.  I'm feelin' kinda crusty and lots of yucky, so be warned...if it warrants it, you may bare the brunt of my fould mood.

Anyway, I was gonna pick up here, but you know what?  Can't.  I don't even know that you want anything reviewed.  For that, I'm gonna have to pass you over.

Bek Ruszin wrote:

Ok, I'm even more miserable than I was last night.  I'm feelin' kinda crusty and lots of yucky, so be warned...if it warrants it, you may bare the brunt of my fould mood.

Anyway, I was gonna pick up here, but you know what?  Can't.  I don't even know that you want anything reviewed.  For that, I'm gonna have to pass you over.

actually, I was just watching. sincerely hope you get better asap. thanks again for your efforts.

Catnapping wrote:
Overall here as well if you would not mind

Catnapping...hmmm...some of your photos suggest that you weren't merely catnapping, but plain out asleep at the wheel with a camera in your hand.

What the balls is this?

She looks very displeased with you.  Did she punch you in the face immediately after the shot?  If not, she should have.  The light is so harsh and it's really not a flattering photo at all.  It's like you couldn't find something interesting about her to highlight so you just had her scowl into the camera.  There's also mystery fingers frame right.  Gah, I hate that. 

Instead of harsh light, you went in the opposite direction to come up with something even worse:

This says nothing except "poorly lit guy in baseball hat".  Dump that at once.  It's the least professional looking image in your port.

I want to like your avatar and I think I have an idea of where you were trying to go with that one unfortunately, I think you used the wrong lens or the wrong F-Stop.  You have several areas of poor focus.  Had this been better focused you'd have highlighted his craggy features so much better.  Instead, I'm distracted...particularly by those fuzzy eyebrow hairs over his left eye.  Still, I think you're on to something here and I feel this is the direction you should continue in.  Bring us faces and features of interest.

DG at studio47 wrote:

actually, I was just watching. sincerely hope you get better asap. thanks again for your efforts.

Thanks.  I'm trying.  Unfortunately, I feel like it's just been one cold followed by another followed by another culminating into a big ball of crabby, sleepless, illness. 

chasecaleb wrote:
Same image, two versions. Which do you like best and why?

1.

2.

Honestly?  Neither.  I don't like her expression, nor do I like that slight pointy thing those pants are doing at the curve of her hip.  This also looks like it's trying too hard to be fashion and it's not.  I don't know if your model has the height or not, but this photo suggests she doesn't.  If she's not tall let me stress this:  high waisted pants do not belong on short girls.  If she [i[is[/i] tall, then you goofed, man.

But, if you're forcing me to pick, I have to go with the top image.  Personally, I think it shoulda been obvious to you that I'd pick that one.  The crop is far superior and the treatment (with the exception of that reddish-pink line that runs horizontally near the bottom) works well.

DanaBarrett Photography wrote:
I do hope you feel better.  Well actually I didn't look to see when this started so you may already feel better.    If this is you grumpy, please be grumpy with me too.

I would like to request a portfolio review.

thank you

Thank you!  Never you fear, I'm still feeling like shit!  Now let's cut the small talk and get on with it, shall we?

Unless you get rid of this picture, I'm going to tell you that you have no right listing yourself as experienced:

I want to punch myself in the eyes, after which I'll punch YOU in the eyes.  HELLO, HELLO...have you ever bothered to look around here or go into the retouching forums?  Gaussian blur is NOT a good thing...especially in this amount.  Not only have you blurred her skin past the point of no return, but you've managed to blur her hair.  HER FRIGGIN' HAIR!  Why would you do that?!?!  Not only that, but her eyeballs are way to white.  Freddy Krueger...cheap thrill.  The boogie man...mildly frightening.  Gaussian Blur Woman...absolutely terrifying.  You post this picture outside my window and night and I guarantee you I'm going to shit my pants in horror.  You're not doing this to all your pictures (but most of them you are), so you've got to realize on some level that doing this to a photo is never a good thing.  Lay the fuck off that blur, k?  I think you'll improve just by that alone.

This is probably the best you've got going on in your portfolio:

I don't care for the pose or expression much, but technically, it's pretty sound.

You have some issues that need to be addressed.  Which I'm going to do very briefly:

Lighting works, pose is "meh".  Could have been a decent shot, but you lost the poor girl in the cluttere around her.  Less is more.


Nice use of negative space, in a way, but you went overboard with creating too much negative space above her.  Tighten that up.


Hello, I have blades of grass in my eyeball.  So fuggin' distracting.

Pay a little more attention to you composition and crop, lay off that damn blur and things will fall into place.

Julia Koch wrote:
Would like to hear overall portfolio critique.

Oh sweet baby jeebus.

You've been a photographer for 15 years and this is what you have to show for it?  You absolutely no right to claim you are experienced.  You might want to change your profile and tell people you're just starting out, because you're not going to attract any serious models of good caliber to your port if that's what you've accomplished in 15 years. 

So what's wrong, you ask?  Where do I start?  Ok, here's the rundown:
-Gaussian blur.  No, no, no, no, NO!!!!
-More gaussian blur.
-Gaussian blur on the hair.  Again.  My god.  How the hell do you people think that looks GOOD?!?!

Hideous.

Your colors are WAAAAAY off:


I'm assuming you don't know how to direct a model based off shots like this:


There is only one thing in your portfolio that does not make me cry and/or dry heave and that would be this:

Set it as your avatar, hold onto 3 other photos just to meet the minimum requirements as defined by MM and ditch everything else.  Go back to start, do not collect $200.  Read the forums here, keep an open mind, be willing to try new things and practice, practice, practice.

Kristin Howell wrote:
Overall port? Please and thanks!

First off, you're not experienced.  Nope.  You may have some experience, but no...just no.

You know, usually I find myself wanting to tell some of the more commercial-looking models to smile more.  Not you.  All smiles.  I'm actually going to tell you to tone that down a little.  You have a nice smile, it's true and you're cute, but you don't have enough varied expressions in your portfolio.  I see nothing that reads as smoldering sexiness, so give that a try. 

Ditch this, I hate it:

Why do I hate it.  Your smirk, the visible lip-liner, the fact that you're looking TOO far off camera...need I continue?

While you're at it, dump this one as well:

It's not a terrible shot, but it doesn't fit.  It just doesn't seem suited to you not to mention that it looks like you're sitting in the middle of the sidewalk wiping your ass.

Too many headshots and not enough full-length images.  Work on that.  Also work on shooting with photographers that aren't going to blur your skin to death.  In the meantime change your avatar to this:

It's more flattering and eye-catching than what you currently have up there.

Orca Bay Images wrote:
Overall port, please. Whip me. Spank me. Make me eat sushi. EEEEEEE!

I hate critique work of people I like on a personal level.  But you want it, don't you?  You want it bad, huh?  Beg for it, baby.  That's it.  Bend over.  Here it comes and I'm not going to be nice...

Can't stand it any longer:

Yeah, wardrobe malfunction...ha ha cute.  I cringed when you had this as your avatar (see, I pay attention to things...Eeeeeeee)!  Throw it the fuck away, Bob.  It looks like an outtake.  You also shot down on her and, while this can make for cool perspective sometimes, it makes her look like she has elephantitis of the head, here.  Poor girl.  You've turned her into a bobble head.  It's easily the worst image in your portfolio.

You're not as bad as some of the others, but some of your images need you to lighten up on that blur:


We also have to talk about that watermark.  It's too obtrusive.  It's also less than professional looking.  Seriously, guy...I will make you a friggin' watermark if you agree to bury this one deep in the ground in your backyard after lighting it on fire.

Now let's talk about your images in general.  Consistent.  Cohesive.  But you know what I notice when overviewing them as a whole?  Every single damn shot is close to being centered.  I want you to break out of your box, step outside your comfort zone.  Start putting models off center - make use of negative space.  I really think it'll add more dimension to not only your port, but your photography in general.

Why aren't you doing more nudes and fitness shots?

Maria Panina wrote:
I'd love a port critique if you get to me

Hmmm...you've got some interesting things going on in your portfolio.  You also have a couple of bland images that read as "commercial" that take away some of the sparkle from your portfolio and don't do anything for you as an aspiring fashion photographer:

Dress a brunette model in brown and stick her in a brown environment and guess what you get?  BROWN.  Ditch it.  It's dull.


This isn't working either.  It's a tad TOO contrasty.  It's boring.  She looks bored, too.  She's propped up against your wall counting specks on the floor.  Trash it.

This is pretty good:


This is not:

Is the mid-air split amazing?  You betcha.  But that's about all that's amazing with this photo.  She seems to be getting ready to either pummel her vagina or flip the photographer off.  Too much black on black.  Can it be done?  Yep, but it doesn't work here.

Let's talk about this:

Great colors, great capture, great movement.  THIS catches my eye and holds my attention for longer than 10 seconds.  I would have recommended this as your avatar had it been not been taken in landscape.

This could have been better:

Awkward crop not digging the way the seat cuts into the picture.  Take the same model on a white backdrop and capture her from top to toe and you'd have a winner.

Again, watch your crop:

You've cut off part of one of her fingers and cropped her bottom half somewhat awkwardly while leaving her plenty of headroom.  I don't understand why you did that.

You just need a little bit of polish and I'm quite certain you realize that.  Biggest thing for you:  Watch your crop...that in and of itself will make a difference in yur port.

Axioma wrote:
an overall portfolio one please, if you and your grumpiness feel like it !

Oh please, what do you want me to tell you?  That you're good?  That you're experienced?  You already know that.  Your portfolio is solid.  You obviously know how to pick and choose when it comes to working with photographer.  You have an amazing diversity about your portfolio without it looking jumbled.

The only thing I can tell you is that I would LOVE to see more beauty work like this from you:
https://www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/29192794

And perhaps some old-hollywood type shots.  That's what this reminds me of:

Beautiful bone structure.  Strong look.  Intense eyes.

Now get the fuck outta here.  You have better things to do than seek my opinion.

Bek Ruszin wrote:
First off, you're not experienced.  Nope.  You may have some experience, but no...just no.

You know, usually I find myself wanting to tell some of the more commercial-looking llamas to smile more.  Not you.  All smiles.  I'm actually going to tell you to tone that down a little.  You have a nice smile, it's true and you're cute, but you don't have enough varied expressions in your portfolio.  I see nothing that reads as smoldering sexiness, so give that a try. 

Ditch this, I hate it:

Why do I hate it.  Your smirk, the visible lip-liner, the fact that you're looking TOO far off camera...need I continue?

While you're at it, dump this one as well:

It's not a terrible shot, but it doesn't fit.  It just doesn't seem suited to you not to mention that it looks like you're sitting in the middle of the sidewalk wiping your ass.

Too many headshots and not enough full-length images.  Work on that.  Also work on shooting with photographers that aren't going to blur your skin to death.  In the meantime change your avatar to this:

It's more flattering and eye-catching than what you currently have up there.

Thank you for the suggestions! Also, for the me sitting in the middle of the sidewalk wiping my ass comment, I can kind of see what you're saying there lol. I had more shots from this shoot that were probably better to upload but I think I'm just gonna toss all of them together! Everyone seems to hate them Ah well. Thanks again!

Hannah Phillips wrote:
overall port! that is if you have time and don't mind doing it >.< please me gentle i'm fragile

No.  I won't be gentle.  You came to the wrong place if you want me to hold your hand, coddle you and give you sunshine and daisies.  You can read, right?  This is the GRUMPY critique.  Sheesh.

First off...some experience?  WRONG.  You have NO experience sweetheart.  You even state so in your profile:  "I've set up all my own pictures and poses and such. I really look forward to actually working with someone."  So be honest.  Let people no you have no experience.  There's no shame in that.

What is a shame is your pictures.  Self shot?  No kidding.  Very snap-shotty, not focused well and generally un-flattering.  Don't you have a friend of a sibling or a parent who can hold the camera for you at the very least?

Before you go jumping in front of the lens, I suggest you jump in front of the mirror.  Practice posing.  See what angles make you look most appealing.  Learn your strengths and your weaknesses.  Then go work with a photographer and get something decent in your port because, at this point, it's honestly all garbage.

Madeleine Elisabeth wrote:
Hi, I am so nervous to ask, but what do you think of my portfolio? Would love to know which photos to replace and what to replace them with.
Thank you

Nothing to be nervous about.  I'm only going to rip you apart without mercy.  It'll be over soon, I promise.  You'll hate me and get mad and then you'll either give up or buck up and say, "I'll show that grumpy bitch."  Let's get started.

What the holy hell.  How can someone with your stats and bone structure have some many awful goddamned pictures?  I mean really awful.  So awful I want to smash things.

These are all shit:




Really.  All grainy and unflattering.  I get it - you want to prove that you were in a show of some sort.  Just list it in your credits, because those photos are awful. 

In fact, it's far easier to tell you what to keep, because honestly, you should ditch the bulk of your portfolio.  It's dreadful.  Keep these for now until you get better images:





Don't think that this means I'm saying these are good because they're not.  What they do show, though, is how you are built, what you look like and that you're capable of looking good/taking a half-decent picture.  If you get rid of everything else, you should have no problem getting a couple of good shoots under your belt, but, as it stands, all that other clutter makes me want to pass right over you which is a shame because I think you have potential.

Just please, don't do this crap with your lips:

We photographers call that "duck face" and it's not nearly as attractive as YOU think it is.  It's awful, goofy, annoying and fake looking and you're doing it far too often in your photographs.

You're going to have to step up your game...there are a million girls in your general area that you're competing with.  Find some decent photographers, work trade with them and get some usable images in that portfolio with which to market yourself.  Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month - ASAP!

Robert Jewett wrote:

Wait.  He wasn't disrespectful or belittling.  He told you two major problems (from his perspective, I can't comment because you didn't ask me), and you got your feelings hurt.  If you don't want to know the truth, why would you ask for it?

To the OP, you could pick one of mine to cull if you like.

Ok, while I appreciate your attempt to come to my defense, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a "HE".  I have a tendency to get a little offended by that...not all of us who are photographers are men.  Then again, I'm grumpy, so everything is going to get my goat.  Anyway, let's see what you have...

Overall very solid port which seems, to me, to improve, for the most part, as I scroll down.  I could make a make a couple or recommeendations, have you tweak a few things, but you only want my opinion as to what one image I'd cull - fair enough.

This one isn't working for me:

I like the concept, it's just not coming together for me.  It lacks something that I can't quite put my finger on.  Compared to your other images, it's bland and not on par.

And can I just say, thank you dear jeebus for someone with the sense not to put gaussian blur over this:

Hear that you other people who like gaussian blur?  Look at this image...no blur!

Good work.  Looking forward to seeing what your port brings forth this year!

Bek Ruszin wrote:
I hate critique work of people I like on a personal level.  But you want it, don't you?  You want it bad, huh?  Beg for it, baby.  That's it.  Bend over.  Here it comes and I'm not going to be nice...

Yep, that's what I asked for, and I knew you'd have enough integrity to be brutally honest regardless of familiarity. I'll do three Pete Pumaisms tonight in your honor.

Can't stand it any longer:

Yeah, wardrobe malfunction...ha ha cute.  I cringed when you had this as your avatar (see, I pay attention to things...Eeeeeeee)!  Throw it the fuck away, Bob.  It looks like an outtake.  You also shot down on her and, while this can make for cool perspective sometimes, it makes her look like she has elephantitis of the head, here.  Poor girl.  You've turned her into a bobble head.  It's easily the worst image in your portfolio.

Okay, I'll replace it. I was playing with a 14mm and was trying for that distortion. Some people love the shot, but I'll replace it. If you hate it, there are surely others who do, too.

We also have to talk about that watermark.  It's too obtrusive.  It's also less than professional looking.  Seriously, guy...I will make you a friggin' watermark if you agree to bury this one deep in the ground in your backyard after lighting it on fire.

I've got several versions of watermark in my port, as it's evolved over the years. The big blocky "www.orcabayimages.com" one is old and gone the way of the dinosaurs. The white "Orca Bay Images" in a lighter font is my latest. Is that too obtrusive, too?

If so, I'd greatly appreciate seeing what you'd replace it with. Contact me via FB on that, please.

Now let's talk about your images in general.  Consistent.  Cohesive.  But you know what I notice when overviewing them as a whole?  Every single damn shot is close to being centered.  I want you to break out of your box, step outside your comfort zone.  Start putting models off center - make use of negative space.  I really think it'll add more dimension to not only your port, but your photography in general.

Noted and will apply.

Why aren't you doing more nudes and fitness shots?

Oh, I wish. I've been trying, but I haven't had a model shoot at all since last summer. Partly because I've been concentrating on paid family/pet shoots, but mainly because most of the models open to TF have "preflaked" (i.e., bailed or fired before they were able to no-show/no-call), especially the ones allegedly open to some degree of nudity. I was even willing to do a TF Suicide Girls shoot nearly two hours away and even she chickened out... twice.

And before anyone suggests I hire some models, I might if I had the moolah. But I'ze poor. So poor I'm po. Can't afford the last two letters.


Thank you much for your feedback, Bek!