Forums > Model Colloquy > Family/Friends thoughts on modeling

Photographer

Patrick Walberg

Posts: 45198

San Juan Bautista, California, US

Alicia Hansen wrote:
I've always felt like my family and friends had a slightly sarcastic "Oh, you have a photoshoot? That's cute. Now stop wasting your time and go get a real job." sort of reaction to both my modeling AND my own photography work.

The exceptions are my boyfriend and (I think) my mother.
Around anyone else, I've learned not to discuss anything industry related because I'm generally not taken seriously. I just do my thing and try to ignore the negativity.

I understand the sarcasm coming from family members.  I'm the black sheep in the family.  My older brother did very well in the blue collar field as a contractor.  My older sister has retired early from the white collar business field.   My younger brother is in the medical field, and more artistic than the other two.  I'm the "artist" who dropped out of college to pursue my dreams.  Often times, I'm treated like I don't work.  I've heard that question;  "When are you going to get a real job?" many times in the past, but it's not nearly as often now that I'm older. 

Some people judge others by careers, and stuff they own, but I don't.  Over the years, I've developed some rewarding friendships that are long lasting.  I've been able to go places and do things that I wouldn't have been able to do if I didn't have the freedom I have.  So I would say to you that the negativity will come from those who don't understand you, so let it roll off you like water. Money can provide convenience, but not buy happiness.  The most important thing is that you are happy!

Feb 05 13 02:16 pm Link

Model

Account Is Not Valid

Posts: 1744

Durango, Colorado, US

Patrick Walberg wrote:

I understand the sarcasm coming from family members.  I'm the black sheep in the family.  My older brother did very well in the blue collar field as a contractor.  My older sister has retired early from the white collar business field.   My younger brother is in the medical field, and more artistic than the other two.  I'm the "artist" who dropped out of college to pursue my dreams.  Often times, I'm treated like I don't work.  I've heard that question;  "When are you going to get a real job?" many times in the past, but it's not nearly as often now that I'm older. 

Some people judge others by careers, and stuff they own, but I don't.  Over the years, I've developed some rewarding friendships that are long lasting.  I've been able to go places and do things that I wouldn't have been able to do if I didn't have the freedom I have.  So I would say to you that the negativity will come from those who don't understand you, so let it roll off you like water. Money can provide convenience, but not buy happiness.  The most important thing is that you are happy!

Exactly. I agree with you 100%. smile

Feb 05 13 11:51 pm Link

Photographer

Jay Farrell

Posts: 13408

Nashville, Tennessee, US

This covers it, ignorance of outsiders knows no boundaries sometimes.

http://farrellgallery.com/blog/the-nude … and-peers/

Feb 06 13 05:50 pm Link

Photographer

Patrick Walberg

Posts: 45198

San Juan Bautista, California, US

Jay Farrell wrote:
This covers it, ignorance of outsiders knows no boundaries sometimes.

http://farrellgallery.com/blog/the-nude … and-peers/

Great article, Jay!

Feb 07 13 12:18 am Link

Photographer

Jay Farrell

Posts: 13408

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Patrick Walberg wrote:

Great article, Jay!

Thanks!

Feb 07 13 06:35 pm Link

Model

Fine Wine

Posts: 226

Orange, California, US

My family friends and co-workers know about my commercial modeling but they don't know I do nude work as well.  Thus the reason why I have 2 different ports here on MM.  One is my main port with no 18+ images and this one with my 18+ images.

My hubby is very support of all of my modeling and says he doesn't mind if I pose nude as long as he is the only one that touches.  His opinion is the one I care about.  I don't think my family or friends would understand about me posing nude so I don't bring it up.

I guess I am like Superman.  Mild mannered co-worker and friend and the when duty calls...Super Nude Model! wink

Feb 10 13 04:55 pm Link

Model

Crystal Rose Modeling

Posts: 441

Sacramento, California, US

Fine Wine wrote:
My family friends and co-workers know about my commercial modeling but they don't know I do nude work as well.  Thus the reason why I have 2 different ports here on MM.  One is my main port with no 18+ images and this one with my 18+ images.

My hubby is very support of all of my modeling and says he doesn't mind if I pose nude as long as he is the only one that touches.  His opinion is the one I care about.  I don't think my family or friends would understand about me posing nude so I don't bring it up.

I guess I am like Superman.  Mild mannered co-worker and friend and the when duty calls...Super Nude Model! wink

Definitely agree! For some reason I just cannot picture mom and dad saying "Great job on the nudes, sweetie!" haha.

Feb 10 13 07:16 pm Link

Model

Keira Sibali

Posts: 189

Oakland, New Jersey, US

When I shoot for trade, I am ALWAYS questioned as to why. I want to ask people, why do you fish / play guitar / run / etc? It's something I enjoy doing, simple as that. "Yeah but what is it FOR?" My least favorite question in the world. Maybe it's for my port, or just for the sake of art. Modeling doesn't always have to be about money or being published for me. When it's a paid opportunity, great, but when it's not, I still love it!

Then there's always the issue of implied and lingerie shots... my family is convinced that somehow these things are going to haunt me forever. And they let me know about it constantly. I try to brush it off though.

Glad I'm not the only one who deals with these things!

Feb 10 13 07:39 pm Link

Model

MelanieR0se

Posts: 8

Alameda, California, US

My parents are convinced that somehow a photographer will trick me into taking my clothes off or shooting in some slutty outfit even if I tell them exactly what the concepts will be and assure them that there won't be any direct or implied nudity.
It's like they don't trust me not to do something I'm not comfortable with! (Or at the very least something I don't want to do when I'm just starting out)
They also keep asking if I'm getting paid, insisting that they come with me to the shoots, wanting to look up the photographers themselves and go over any model agreements for me even though I'm 18 and that's my responsibility.
Living at home is a big hindrance when it comes to modeling. I have no idea how I'll tell them I might be shooting in my *gasp* underwear soon!

Feb 10 13 11:47 pm Link

Photographer

Lone Pine Photography

Posts: 38

Savannah, Georgia, US

Jordan L Duncan wrote:
A photographer once told me that he had 1 or 2 friends stop hanging out with him because he wouldn't give them models' phone numbers.

Most of my friends aren't photographers, so they see images differently than I do, and they think that someone willing to have images taken nude or semi nude must be easy.

I think a general public opinion is that models are like strippers, the same way that photographers must be anti social nerds. People not in the business are just ignorant about the business and the players in it. It's an exercise in futility to attempt to educate them.

Feb 11 13 12:06 am Link

Model

Crystal Rose Modeling

Posts: 441

Sacramento, California, US

Kyra Elle wrote:
When I shoot for trade, I am ALWAYS questioned as to why. I want to ask people, why do you fish / play guitar / run / etc? It's something I enjoy doing, simple as that. "Yeah but what is it FOR?" My least favorite question in the world. Maybe it's for my port, or just for the sake of art. Modeling doesn't always have to be about money or being published for me. When it's a paid opportunity, great, but when it's not, I still love it!

Then there's always the issue of implied and lingerie shots... my family is convinced that somehow these things are going to haunt me forever. And they let me know about it constantly. I try to brush it off though.

Glad I'm not the only one who deals with these things!

Exactly! And when they ask if you get paid and you say not always, they definitely want to know the purpose and "it's a hobby" doesn't satisfy them for some reason. Then they go about thinking I just love photos of myself.

Feb 11 13 08:36 am Link

Photographer

Gabby57

Posts: 470

Ponca City, Oklahoma, US

vbabe wrote:

Exactly! And when they ask if you get paid and you say not always, they definitely want to know the purpose and "it's a hobby" doesn't satisfy them for some reason. Then they go about thinking I just love photos of myself.

Photography is one of the few professions that can be taken up purely as a hobby, I suppose things like sports and woodworking are similar.  And those who do it as a hobby often get it from both sides, the professionals who are dismissive and the outsiders who question the sanity of "not getting paid."

I have to admit, the wife seemed a little put off when I told her I was coming here, after some talking and meeting the first young lady I shot, she seems "OK" with it, but added that I "don't need" to shoot models without clothes (though I'd never brought that up).  Long story short, I reminded her that I'm far too old to have somebody tell me what I "don't need" to do.  And if I pay them something for their time and gasoline, how is that different than paying a fee to chase a little ball with a bag of sticks?

Still, it's a pain putting up with attitude of any kind when I very simply want to photograph young women who want to be photographed.  How much simpler could it possibly be?

Feb 11 13 02:48 pm Link

Model

Kate Eaton

Posts: 173

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

My parents didn't know I was modeling until they randomly spotted me in their weekly Zellers flyer years ago.
It's not something we talk about in my family and they don't seem to care either way.

Feb 12 13 08:23 pm Link

Model

Random One

Posts: 35

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Maybe it's different because I'm a male... I never told my dad because he'd never understand (though he did come across some of the hard copy prints from my portfolio I'd accidentally left out, that was not a fun convo).

My mom, on the other hand, totally understands it, and she's seen my portfolio.

I only tell my close friends, maybe a third of them can actually stomach looking at them without feeling creepy.

Feb 15 13 01:29 am Link