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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
Well, that was fucking interesting. I'm just going to pretend like a had a 2-year-long bad dream and that now I have woken up in reality again. 
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BeatnikDiva
Posts: 14859
Fayetteville, Arkansas, US
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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
life lessons. time to learn how to be a better person, and actively be a better person.
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Art Silva
Posts: 10064
Santa Barbara, California, US
Don't you Hate it when that happens? 
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Paolo D Photography
Posts: 11502
San Francisco, California, US
a raw muse wrote:
life lessons. time to learn how to be a better person, and actively be a better person. no.
just be your spirit animal.
enough with being a person.
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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
Art Silva wrote:
Don't you Hate it when that happens? Hate? No way!
I mean, I have to take some responsibility for being complacent in a shitstorm, and contributing to it in my own ways, lol.
But, since I've made a conscious decision of "this does not work, I will change it" everything else has been sorting itself out.
I do not need to see a very lovely endocrinologist for a very long time, if ever again; I still need to check my thyroid every regular doctor's visit and keep an eye on whether I feel like I'm getting the same symptoms again/drop too much weight at once (I'm already underweight, but healthy), but that's just part of my life.
I think a lot of chronic pain I was dealing with was exacerbated by anxiety/stress; now that I am out of such a stressful environment, I've gained the height I lost back (tailbones are a bitch), accepting the weird lucid dreams that come along with a healing tailbone, and do exercises every day to help release the muscles around it. (Not as fun as it sounds) Also I'll finally see my doctor again and see if I need to get my foot pinned back together (when a bboy looks at your foot and cringes you know you should get serious about fixing it). 6 months of recovery time, though. I would go absolutely insane.
I got rid of a vast majority of material things I owned, and now I have pretty much brand new clothes that are my size because my brother grew 2 inches taller than me (that ass, how dare he).
This whole situation has forced me to contact people every day, even just to say hi, and made me realize all of the good things I was neglecting being trapped in a vacuum. I am starting to actually ask for help (my friend drove me to the RMV to get my ID renewed, and for 2 hours he dealt with my obnoxious behavior to avert a public and horrible meltdown; I have a friend that can drive me to the doctor's if I'm having a very bad "can't fucking do this" day, etc)
I also now realize what I need to be happy, and finding people and situations that fit into that.
Big parts of life suck, it's hard work. But pain is a signal you are growing somehow. Perhaps I'm being a bit too Buddhist about this whole situation.
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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
Paolo Diavolo wrote:
no.
just be your spirit animal.
enough with being a person. I'm not done with being a person yet, it's too much fun 
When it gets too boring or my body is no longer functional I'll move on to being a tree or something.
Photographer
highStrangeness
Posts: 2485
Carmichael, California, US
a raw muse wrote:
I'm not done with being a person yet, it's too much fun
When it gets too boring or my body is no longer functional I'll move on to being a tree or something. Maybe, maybe not...
"...And the trees are all kept equal, by hatchet, axe, and saw."
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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
aspergianLens wrote:
Maybe, maybe not...
"...And the trees are all kept equal, by hatchet, axe, and saw." I've been stuck on wanting to be a tree since I was 4.
My mom and I had a talk about multiple lives/reincarnation right before I entered kindergarten, and we got asked the question in class "what do you want to be when you grow up?" (I of course said tree). My mom had to be called in, the school psychologist got involved I think, and my mom just told them that they were idiots.
Even now it's very comforting to sleep in the woods or under a tree.
Photographer
highStrangeness
Posts: 2485
Carmichael, California, US
a raw muse wrote:
I've been stuck on wanting to be a tree since I was 4.
My mom and I had a talk about multiple lives/reincarnation right before I entered kindergarten, and we got asked the question in class "what do you want to be when you grow up?" (I of course said tree). My mom had to be called in, the school psychologist got involved I think, and my mom just told them that they were idiots.
Even now it's very comforting to sleep in the woods or under a tree. You weirdo!  j/k though, but if you ask a Buddhist or Hindu, we apparently don't get to be plants... they're not supposed to have "souls".
But otherwise, I agree with you about spending time around them. It's very helpful.
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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
aspergianLens wrote:
You weirdo! j/k though, but if you ask a Buddhist or Hindu, we apparently don't get to be plants... they're not supposed to have "souls".
But otherwise, I agree with you about spending time around them. It's very helpful. matter is matter
doesn't matter what matter
I want to be a tree
Photographer
kickfight
Posts: 35054
Portland, Oregon, US
Photographer
kickfight
Posts: 35054
Portland, Oregon, US
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Lumen Sky
Posts: 1802
Center Moriches, New York, US
life is all about learning as you are seeing, and I hope you continue to grow and flourish in positive ways and that the pain lessons for you.
Artist/Painter
JJMiller
Posts: 807
Buffalo, New York, US
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Nat has a username
Posts: 3590
Oakland, California, US
I'd pick a spot in the woods behind my gram's house, staring at them right now. But I'd just be cremated and sprinkled 
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Eye of Sicari
Posts: 37100
Toledo, Ohio, US
Pony says hi and we both miss you
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j/k though, but if you ask a Buddhist or Hindu, we apparently don't get to be plants... they're not supposed to have "souls". 