Anyone ever been involved with an alcholic? Serious replies, (as serious as possible - I guess), greatly appreciated. Here or in a private message.

Thanks

Yes I have...

Yes EMG  .... so what is your point in asking this question?????  What are you looking for as an answer from people?
Do you want people with friends lovers or family? Do tell.

nope... so this reply is useless. lol.

But "Im listening"

Yes and a drug addict. 4 years ago when I met him he had this great personality but he was an alocohic and a drug user. He went to Ohio State so I see why. He quit them for me because "he would rather love me."


Now we are getting married.

I have a couple of times been in relationships with women that had a drinking or drug using problem, and it's never turned out good.   

It seems that drinking and drugs go hand in hand many times.  I lost a g/f years ago ... she overdosed.  The last serious g/f I had came out of rehab and then proceeded to use again and had a fling with me now ex-best buddy. In both cases, I had know these people for years!  My ex-buddy from childhood, and my last ex girlfriend from when she was 15 years old.  She was 25 when we got together. Now I try to stay away from anyone that is into partying too hard!

My advise to you, get out of the house ... get out of the relationship and go far far away!  Unless you have kids with this person ... then take thme with you!

If you are asking because someone close to you might be in trouble, then you have a few options:

1.  Talk with them (probably won't work)
2.  Talk with your family physician... there may be a way for you two to collaborate on a plan.
3.  At worst, get them checked into a detox, since you are in PA, I am not sure of a good one by you, however, Carrier Clinic in Belle Meade, NJ is a great program.

Most people with a problem are going to deny the problem exists to the hilt!  So don't expect much cooperation from the user/abuser.  You will need professional help on this one... much more than the forums can provide you.  Good luck!

I think I had a problem...so I quit. But then again, most people in my social network I think could be labeled similarly.

I have dated a couple, not knowing at first, please be more specific about the relationship of the person in question.....

I have Never been involved with someone like that..but my father was an alcoholic..He drank from Morning till he finally passed out..almost everyday. Then one day his body couldnt take it anymore, he died 6 years ago on Jan 14th..He was only 40yrs old. Life is so much more important than getting wasted everyday, If anyone knows somebody with a problem. Please talk them into getting help!

Yes, it sucked. Anything else?

I once dated a guy who was using all kinds of drugs.  I didn't even know he was using anything until about 1 year into it.  I tried to help him.  His family tried to help him.  The courts tried to help him.  Nothing worked.  As far as I know to this day he gets clean for a while and then goes right back to it.  It is a sad life.

I had an X who was heavy into real bad drugs and an alcoholic. Cheated on me a few times and i forgave her and tried to help her more than once. She gave up a few times and always, always went back.
She had a real good job and lost it due to drugs and messed up her life and got preggo with a guy she didnt even want to be with.
She called me from the clinic and asked me to marry her and how she messed up and now she relized it. When she got out she showed up on my doorstep and had a ring and then when i told her i could not marry her, she said i had to tell her "No i dont want her in my life" (The clinic told her she had to do this). That was the hardest thing to do because i am not rude like that and she made me say it or she was not gonna leave...so after two hours i said it...and hated saying it.
A year later she showed up again looking to get back together and i said i was not going to repeat what happened last time and she left unwillingly.
Point being ..... if the person is heavy into drugs or alcohol, it is thier life, there is no "Leaving it behind", they will always go back to it at some point for whatever reason. In the end it will ruin thier lives most times also and yours if you are there when it happens.
Be careful and keep seperate checking accounts and you pay the bills. If he pays you will not know or find out about overdue bills until you are in court and owe thousands.

EDIT: The part about the clinic making her do that (me telling her i dont want her in my life), is something they do with the person while they are in the clinic. It was what they told her she had to do to get over her dependancy on drugs. If she has a good reason to quit then it will be a reason to quit and since she wanted to marry me, that was her reason. SO by me telling her i dont want her in my life was her reason to quit and make her life better. She called me from the clinic she was at numerous times and talked about all this stuff they were telling her. Its really amazing what these clinics put these people thru to get them clean, not all of it i support when it involves me saying something to her i would never say.

Yes, I've dealt with alcocholics, drug users and compulsive gamblers.  The biggest thing I can advise you is that your is nothing you can do to make this person stop drinking.  He or she has to make the decision on his/her own and won't until he/she finds a bottom.  It sucks, and he/she is a sick person who almost certainly doesn't realize the destruction he/she is causing, or when he/she is aware, its just another excuse to dive into the bottle.

If this is a problem for you, I'd call your local chapter of AA.  If its someone you care about, call your local AlAnon and they will be able to give you good advice.

it is a disease they will always have for the rest of their lives, like cancer, every single day you will come home and wonder if this is the day i will find them off the wagon

if it is a relative, then well, you're more or less committed to spending your life helping them

if it is a new lover, etc, drop them, do not even begin to contemplate having a family with this person, the disease they have will 99% of the time consume them sooner or later