BCG wrote:
why has it become such a silent epidemic???

Because people don't know better. They end up in the same type of relationships/situations that they saw their parents act out.

William Kious wrote:
Because abuse is pernicious and cumulative.  The abused don't realize that they're in trouble until it's too late (if they ever do.)

i think your referring to physical abuse, and the abused do realize there being abused, they just simply become scared, because they know how hard it is to persecute someone for beating them, and there scared that when its all said and done, the other person comes after them and possibly kills them. when people go to court for beating people, they dont exactly get life, so theres no saying that when they get they wont go after the person with some sort of vendetta. and thats how most people in those situations feel.

BCG wrote:
why has it become such a silent epidemic???

its slient because its hard to express and its hard for people to relate when they didnt go through it.. I went through it.. i express it with close loved ones, family and friends, but its nothing that should be discussed openly or else you look like a fool sometimes.

BCG wrote:
i am convinced that mothers are responsible for just as much damage to their daughters as any stoopid ass frat boy or baboon jock.

What does this have to do with you asking , why its such a "silent epidemic"?

And so if a Girl gets raped by some "stupid ass frat boy", then her mother is part the blame?? Thats the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Oh and of course every girl or guy, who falls in love with the love of there life who turns out to be an abusive prick that beats her. Well of course her Mother is partially the blame in that situation too?

Thats dumb and stupid and god knows what else. "Mothers" or "Parents" are not responsible for there daughters having a guy who beats her. They dont choose who she falls for. They dont make her too scared to go to the police. In what way would the mother or parents be responsible for that? What , I suppose your going to say that the girl was raised by a mother who was beat and therefore thats all she knows?? That stupid and is not necessarily, and actually in most cases isnt the case at all. Theres a think called Free Will and choosing the way you feel. If the girl is getting beat , and she is too scared to go to someone, it has nothing to do with her mother, because i can garuntee you that her mother is that last person on her mind. It has to do with the fact that shes scared for her life.

Please tell me how your "convinced" , because I am dying to know.

Kayeanda wrote:
i think your referring to physical abuse, and the abused do realize there being abused, they just simply become scared, because they know how hard it is to persecute someone for beating them, and there scared that when its all said and done, the other person comes after them and possibly kills them. when people go to court for beating people, they dont exactly get life, so theres no saying that when they get they wont go after the person with some sort of vendetta. and thats how most people in those situations feel.

You don't know how "most people" feel.  Victims of abuse experience a very wide range of emotions and symptoms.

Kayeanda wrote:
Okay...so far I have seen people respond but its like there talking about Physical abuse.  Im seeing alot of..."they dont realize it until its too late"  How does that relate to Sexual Abuse?? People being sexualy abused realize it.

Are you trying to say that a very small child realizes that he/she is being sexually abused?  Rape can happen within a marriage - do you think the woman will view forced sex as such if it's her husband doing it?

Kayeanda wrote:
I can see that relating to Mental Abuse, in a way, which is actually Verbal Abuse.

Mental abuse can take many forms - it's not limited to verbal abuse.

Kayeanda wrote:
SEXUAL ABUSE IS NOT A SILENT EPIDEMIC IN ANYWAY.
MENTAL ABUSE (BETTER KNOWN AS VERBAL ABUSE) IS SOMEWHAT SILENT.

First... stop yelling (using all caps).  Second... why not do a little Internet research.  Sexual, physical and verbal abuse is grossly under-reported.

Kayeanda wrote:
PHYSICAL ABUSE, EVEN, IS NOT A SILENT EPIDEMIC, NOT LIKE YOU GUYS THINK, ITS NOT SILENT LIKE IT USE TO BE, AND IS LESS OF AN EPIDEMIC THAN IT USE TO BE.

Physical abuse is reported far less than it used to be.  Why?  Because of new domestic abuse laws.  If someone calls the cops on a domestic - in most states - someone is going to jail.  Period.  Women won't call the police because they don't want the bread winner to go to jail (and consequently losing his job.)

Kayeanda wrote:
OH AND I JUST WANT TO RESTATE THAT I DONT THINK THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SORT OF POST.

*even though i replied, im outspoken and cant help it, but regardless of that, the obvious was stated, this post should be taken down*

As far as I know, this sub-forum is as good a place as any to discuss the topic (it was placed properly).

In fact, from what you've posted here, you're grossly misinformed about the topic.  If you are a victim of abuse, I'm deeply sorry - but I think you're letting your anger cloud your judgement.

William Kious wrote:
In fact, from what you've posted here, you're grossly misinformed about the topic.  If you are a victim of abuse, I'm deeply sorry - but I think you're letting your anger cloud your judgement.

FIRST OFF IM NOT YELLING...lol

As far as how people feel, Im speaking in broad terms, and your right , I dont "know" how most people feel, except for the fact that I work with people in these situations, so I know what Im talking about.

And no, a child doesnt realize he/she is being abused. I wasnt talking about children, most of my references were about Marriage. And I was speaking broadly again, Im not going to be specific.
And yes a married women does recognize forced sex as rape, but just like the reference you later made, shes just scared to send the "bread winner" to jail.

Mental abuse can take on many forms, in the medical world tough, its mostly considered Verbal Abuse, and thats what I was referring to.

And I dont need to do a little Internet research, because only in certain areas is it "grossly" unreported, alot of times in larger poppulated areas. But in a lot of other cities, its NOT under-reported.

As far as where this forum was posted...everyone has there opinions...but this is a Modeling Website, okay? And thankfully since I posted that, I recieved Several emails from people who agree this isnt the right place for this particular topic.
And i know for a fact that Im not misinformed about this topic, I work with people who suffer from abuse of all kinds, its what I do , and its what I study.

And just because our opinions differ, doesnt mean that I am mis-informed.

Eric Muss-Barnes wrote:
(sigh)

Controversial topics that are deliberately started just to cause heated debate are about as entertaining as a Certified Public Accountant Convention.

how is abuse a controversial topic???

BCG wrote:

how is abuse a controversial topic???

Does this thread qualifies as mental abuse?

BCG wrote:
And so if a Girl gets raped by some "stupid ass frat boy", then her mother is part the blame?? Thats the dumbest thing I have ever heard.



no...mothers have done JUST as much to damage to a womans psyche as any stoopid ass frat fuck...comments such as..."you look like a whore" do nothing to build a young womans sense self worth.

If thats the situation, then yes your right the mother did contribute alot. But just be specific next time and list an example , such as this one.

But I will say that just because a womans self worth is tainted, doesnt mean that she will "let" someone rape her. She may simply not have the strength like others to address the situation with others.

Kayeanda wrote:
And I dont need to do a little Internet research, because only in certain areas is it "grossly" unreported, alot of times in larger poppulated areas. But in a lot of other cities, its NOT under-reported.

Urban areas tend to have better rates of report than rural areas.  In urban areas, more resources (law enforcement and support services) are allocated to combating abuse.  There's more of a stigma associated with abuse in rural areas.

Kayeanda wrote:
And just because our opinions differ, doesnt mean that I am mis-informed.

Sorry, but I still think you are misinformed.  It has nothing to do with opinion.

Marksora wrote:

Does this thread qualifies as mental abuse?

no, past fart threads would, but not this subject.

William Kious wrote:

Kayeanda wrote:
And I dont need to do a little Internet research, because only in certain areas is it "grossly" unreported, alot of times in larger poppulated areas. But in a lot of other cities, its NOT under-reported.

Urban areas tend to have better rates of report than rural areas.  In urban areas, more resources (law enforcement and support services) are allocated to combating abuse.  There's more of a stigma associated with abuse in rural areas.


Sorry, but I still think you are misinformed.  It has nothing to do with opinion.

Well Umm...I will let "you- the photographer" continue to have the "opinion" that I am misinformed. And when someone decides to open up a topic about lawyers, i will let you be the one to tell the lawyer that he doesnt know how to do his job.
Until its "your" job to deal with people who are going through and have been through abusive, etc situations, then you may continue to be misinformed as well.

Eric Muss-Barnes wrote:
(sigh)

Controversial topics that are deliberately started just to cause heated debate are about as entertaining as a Certified Public Accountant Convention.

Yes it is entertaining ..lol..I have to admit that Im enjoying the challenge that Im getting from William.
Even though it does get a little annoying being told that Im "mis informed" when I do this for a living, and Im VERY good at my job...lol

Kayeanda wrote:
Well Umm...I will let "you- the photographer" continue to have the "opinion" that I am misinformed. And when someone decides to open up a topic about lawyers, i will let you be the one to tell the lawyer that he doesnt know how to do his job.  Until its "your" job to deal with people who are going through and have been through abusive, etc situations, then you may continue to be misinformed as well.

There's no challenge... When you're wrong, you're wrong.  You're 19 years old.  You're not a lawyer and there's no possible way you have the education or experience to deal with abuse cases.  What qualifications do you have?  What training?  What degrees do you hold?  Are you a member of any board-certified organizations that deal with abuse?  What research have you done in the field?  Have you worked a job that required you to respond to crisis/abuse situations?  Have you been a victim of abuse?  No?

There's a difference between opinion and real-world experience/knowledge.  I won't stick up for you - or support faulty, unsupported reasoning - just because you're pretty.

William Kious wrote:
There's no challenge... When you're wrong, you're wrong.  You're 19 years old.  You're not a lawyer and there's no possible way you have the education or experience to deal with abuse cases.  What qualifications do you have?  What training?  What degrees do you hold?  Are you a member of any board-certified organizations that deal with abuse?  What research have you done in the field?  Have you worked a job that required you to respond to crisis/abuse situations?  Have you been a victim of abuse?  No?

There's a difference between opinion and real-world experience/knowledge.  I won't stick up for you - or support faulty, unsupported reasoning - just because you're pretty.

Okay I had to edit this like 2 times..lol.
I dont have to explain myself to you. PERIOD Age and beauty has nothing to do with it.
I KNOW what Im talking about...I have experience..I do work with a certified organization. You can continue to think that you know everything and I know nothing. But I know your wrong. PERIOD.
Its close minded, judegmental people, like you, that light up my day, and remind me of how glad I am to be the person I am.

BCG wrote:
i am convinced that mothers are responsible for just as much damage to their daughters as any stoopid ass frat boy or baboon jock.

Current developement theory says that women often base their choice of men on their fathers. Women with abusive fathers, distant fathers, loving fathers, and so forth tend to go for men that somehow reflect these issues.

That being said, girls also model their behavior on that of their mother. Mother's who put up with abuse are more likely to have children who put up with abuse as well.

This is why most pschologists say the best thing you can do with your children is to model loving and supportive behavior with your spouse or signifigant other AND your children.

Kayeanda wrote:
Okay I had to edit this like 2 times..lol.
I dont have to explain myself to you. PERIOD Age and beauty has nothing to do with it.
I KNOW what Im talking about...I have experience..I do work with a certified organization. You can continue to think that you know everything and I know nothing. But I know your wrong. PERIOD.
Its close minded, judegmental people, like you, that light up my day, and remind me of how glad I am to be the person I am.

I never said that you didn't know anything - I simply questioned your declarations of skill, training and experience in reference to abuse.  You can make all of the pejorative statements about me that you wish – it won’t make your personal fiction a reality.  So far, you haven't said anything that would lead me to believe you.  *shrugs*

As for you passing judgment on me, that's just fine.  I'm not the one making the wild claims.  I think it's funny that you immediately turn to calling me closed minded and judgmental because you can't come up with anything solid to back your argument.  Typical.  Have you got anything more substantial than "I'm rubber and you're glue"?  Someone with your worldly knowledge and experience should be able to surpass assumption and word-of-mouth.

By the way, when using the conjunctive form of "you are" the accepted standard is "you're".  Apostrophes are important from time-to-time.  Oh, wait... I suppose it's small minded and judgmental of me to point that out.  Sorry.

MEWanoDesigns wrote:
A couple of years after I left that situation, and that part of the country, I asked a couple of people why they didn't do anything, even though I asked for help, even thought they saw the abuse, and their reason was fear. They were afraid to do something.

That fear of "getting involved" can be very powerful.  What happens if I step in?  What could happen to me?  You are absolutely right about fear driving and motivating the cycle of abuse.

MEWanoDesigns wrote:
I had to do a lot of soul searching in order to forgive my abusers, and the people who turn their heads. I still struggle sometimes with my temper, and I'm still afraid to have children, even though I know my relationship with my husband is healthy, supportive, and loving, and he'd be there to keep me grounded. But someone has to break the cycle, and I'm working on becoming someone who's strong enough to do that.

Don't be afraid of having kids.  Don't let the fear win.  I see things a lot differently now that I have a child of my own.  For the most part, it makes me wonder how anyone could hurt a child.

MEWanoDesigns wrote:
Big hug to you all for caring. I don't share my experiences very often, so this is pretty emotionally draining for me.

Thank you. 

Eric Muss-Barnes wrote:
(sigh)

Controversial topics that are deliberately started just to cause heated debate are about as entertaining as a Certified Public Accountant Convention.

HEY!! My cousins a CPA, i'm "offended." lol

Lady Bronze... BINGO!!!

Not small minded and judgemental.... Just  annoyingly pedantic.

T H Taylor wrote:
Not small minded and judgemental.... Just  annoyingly pedantic.

You know what I find alarming?  No one outside of literature/English studies - and I mean no one - used the word "pedantic" until it was used on Family Guy.  Kudos to Peter Griffen.

Chili wrote:
its not

its just the latest 'fad' problem