Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Gay men who do not enjoy anal sex...

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

Contrary to popular belief, buttsex is NOT the defining factor in being a gay male. Physical attraction to the same gender IS the defining factor.

Up until my early 30's, I thought I was the only gay man in the world who didn't like buttsex, and only did it with my boyfriends because I was misguided into thinking that ALL gay men wanted it. Then at age 33 (6 years ago), I moved to a major metropolis and found out differently...LOTS of men down here prefer fondling, mutual masturbation, and frottage (google it) as their favored sexual activities. Not only is it safer, but to me it's more fun (not to mention much less prep time and clean-up).

I experimented with this on a gay forum, and found that approximately 25% of the guys who responded prefer NOT to have buttsex, and only do it for the same reason I did: They thought it was a requirement, and they live in a sparsely populated area where most openly gay men require buttsex from their partners...slim pickins.

Also, the forum I asked on was a gay fitness forum, so most of the guys are NOT the stereotype. In fact, they're more masculine than most straight guys I know...everything from personal trainers to MMA instructors to pro and semi-pro wrestlers and boxers and all other "predominately-straight" sports.

So, my questions here:
- What's your take on gay men who do NOT enjoy anal sex?
- If you fall in this category, do you have trouble finding a like-minded partner?


I know we're a rare breed, but I think it's because most non-anal gay men are afraid to come out of the closet due partially to fears of being labeled with the stereotype, and fear of not being able to find a suitable partner.

Disclaimer: This thread is NOT part of the "g0y" movement, which is a group of "christian" non-anal gay guys who spend more time bashing pro-anal gay guys than they do actually enjoying life...very sad and hateful group. If you are part of that group, your brownie points will immediately be taken away and you will not get a cookie.

Oct 13 10 04:49 pm Link

Model

The Duchess of Dork

Posts: 7812

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
- What's your take on gay men who do NOT enjoy anal sex?

I know one. He's cool. big_smile

Oct 13 10 04:51 pm Link

Photographer

ckhd Photography

Posts: 1244

Saint Johns, Arizona, US

Well, I'm not gay, but I'd imagine that it would be about like a straight guy who doesn't like buttsex.  Having something shoved up your butt doesn't determine who you are attracted to...

Now, I'm not talking about people who have sticks up their butts...  that's a whole different thing.

edit:  And I'm NOT going to google that... you can't make me!

Oct 13 10 04:52 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

The Duchess of Dork wrote:

I know one. He's cool. big_smile

cool

Oct 13 10 04:52 pm Link

Photographer

Damon Banner

Posts: 85322

Hayward, California, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
- What's your take on gay men who do NOT enjoy anal sex?

I'm not gay, but I first encountered that like 6 years ago.  We had a few people in our dept, but I was friends with the girl who sat next to me.  She started talking about the gay coworker (really flamboyant), she was saying how he didn't do anal but could *insert some phrase about how good he sucks dick.* 

It was strange to me because I assumed that all gay men partook in the butt lovings. 



I didn't care either way, it was just strange to me.  Ultimately, it doesn't matter what penis you put where, all that matters is who you are attracted to.

I've met a few more since then like that....

Oct 13 10 04:53 pm Link

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Model

Koryn

Posts: 39444

Boston, Massachusetts, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
... frottage (google it)  ...

This + lesbian sexin' = oh my god!

*brain 'splodes from wonderfulness*

okthnxbi

Oct 13 10 04:54 pm Link

Photographer

A-M-P

Posts: 18458

Orlando, Florida, US

Well as a straight women who doesn't don't like anal sex either, I can sort of understand.  my BFused to ask me all the time and I was like No way Jose! He know understands and doesn't ask anymore. We actually enjoy oral sex more than regular sex so everyone has their preferences.

Oct 13 10 04:55 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

ckhd Photography wrote:
Well, I'm not gay, but I'd imagine that it would be about like a straight guy who doesn't like buttsex.  Having something shoved up your butt doesn't determine who you are attracted to...

Holy fuck, that is exactly my point! Can't believe someone nailed it right off the bat. lol

ckhd Photography wrote:
Now, I'm not talking about people who have sticks up their butts...  that's a whole different thing.

What if the sticks were bought at a sex shop and made of latex? tongue

ckhd Photography wrote:
edit:  And I'm NOT going to google that... you can't make me!

*holds virtual gun to head* DO IT! rambo

Oct 13 10 04:55 pm Link

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Model

Koryn

Posts: 39444

Boston, Massachusetts, US

ckhd Photography wrote:
Well, I'm not gay, but I'd imagine that it would be about like a straight guy who doesn't like buttsex.  Having something shoved up your butt doesn't determine who you are attracted to...

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
Holy fuck, that is exactly my point! Can't believe someone nailed it right off the bat. lol

I could never figure out why anal sex was always so heavily associated with gay men in the first place, since a whole lot of straight people do it too.

Oct 13 10 04:57 pm Link

Photographer

MJF Artworks

Posts: 3765

San Diego, California, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
Holy fuck, that is exactly my point! Can't believe someone nailed it right off the bat. lol

I thought this thread was about people NOT nailing it... and I won't google your word either.

Oct 13 10 05:03 pm Link

Photographer

Younique by Patrick

Posts: 3930

Tampa, Florida, US

Perhaps the attraction is the taboo. Some people just do it for the excitement factor of it. I know several gay friends who prefer toys than someone elses penis.

Oct 13 10 05:04 pm Link

Photographer

Damon Banner

Posts: 85322

Hayward, California, US

MJF Artworks wrote:

I thought this thread was about people NOT nailing it... and I won't google your word either.

it means rubbing.

Oct 13 10 05:04 pm Link

Photographer

William Kious

Posts: 8841

Delphos, Ohio, US

Frottage is just a fancy term for dry humping (ganked from the fine art world, no less.)

Oct 13 10 05:06 pm Link

Photographer

MJF Artworks

Posts: 3765

San Diego, California, US

William Kious wrote:
Frottage is just a fancy term for dry humping (ganked from the fine art world, no less.)

So.... mixed nuts?

Oct 13 10 05:09 pm Link

Photographer

Conceptually Black

Posts: 8320

Columbus, Ohio, US

And I know a few straight guys that enjoy serious anal play from women. I've believed for about 4yrs, it is about what one sticks where, but rather if you enjoy it.

Oct 13 10 05:10 pm Link

Photographer

William Kious

Posts: 8841

Delphos, Ohio, US

MJF Artworks wrote:

So.... mixed nuts?

Fancy mixed nuts.

It's an attempt to make a common thing sound sexy, I think...

Oct 13 10 05:13 pm Link

Model

Nori Zay

Posts: 12279

Washington, District of Columbia, US

IT's not about the sex, it's about who you're attracted to. If you don't like it, don't do it. That goes for gay and straight.

Oct 13 10 05:13 pm Link

Model

Model Sarah

Posts: 40652

Columbus, Ohio, US

Isnt that similar to two straight people who love foreplay? I say; great. That can probably be more intense in a few ways as well.

Go Paul!

Oct 13 10 05:14 pm Link

Model

PeachesP

Posts: 425

Austin, Texas, US

~raises hand~ i know what it is, heard it for the first time two months ago. gay frottage=lesbian tribing. oh everyone where purple tomorrow to support lgbt. oh plus not everyone likes anal, some ppl think its disgusting and painful (gays and straigts) but that doesnt mean you can have fun, other activities better than that, that get you of faster and more hygienic

Oct 13 10 05:14 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

ShivaKitty wrote:
I could never figure out why anal sex was always so heavily associated with gay men in the first place, since a whole lot of straight people do it too.

I used to think that straight men who like buttsex with girls were just closeted gays. lol

Oct 13 10 05:15 pm Link

Photographer

MJF Artworks

Posts: 3765

San Diego, California, US

William Kious wrote:

Fancy mixed nuts.

It's an attempt to make a common thing sound sexy, I think...

Better a fancy word than an acronym... god I hate acronyms...

Oct 13 10 05:15 pm Link

Photographer

Black and Blue

Posts: 3100

Indianapolis, Indiana, US

It's really no different than women who don't enjoy vaginal intercourse...

What gets you off is what gets you off.  No judging here.

Everyone is different, all tastes (sexual or otherwise) differ. smile What matters is that you enjoy the person you're with...

Oct 13 10 05:16 pm Link

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Model

Koryn

Posts: 39444

Boston, Massachusetts, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

I used to think that straight men who like buttsex with girls were just closeted gays. lol

lol

Paul, you are right about a whole lot of things... but maybe not that one...

Oct 13 10 05:17 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

Model Sarah wrote:
Isnt that similar to two straight people who love foreplay? I say; great. That can probably be more intense in a few ways as well.

Go Paul!

Actually yes, it's very similar. I've been with some straight guys who simply love to be fondled while they jack off, and could care less if it's done by a male or female...even though they have no physical attraction to males.

Oct 13 10 05:18 pm Link

Photographer

Black and Blue

Posts: 3100

Indianapolis, Indiana, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

I used to think that straight men who like buttsex with girls were just closeted gays. lol

OMG funny you should mention this cause my fiance's co-worker was INFURIATED at men who had butt sex with women calling them closet homosexuals (well, a lot more derogatory than that...)

Oct 13 10 05:19 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

ShivaKitty wrote:

lol

Paul, you are right about a whole lot of things... but maybe not that one...

Hey I was raised in the sticks of Arkansas. I used to be wrong about a shitload of things! lol

Oct 13 10 05:19 pm Link

Model

Rikala

Posts: 1603

Rochester, New York, US

I totally got curious and googled frottage.

Oct 13 10 05:20 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

Blessed Amen wrote:
~raises hand~ i know what it is, heard it for the first time two months ago. gay frottage=lesbian tribing. oh everyone where purple tomorrow to support lgbt. oh plus not everyone likes anal, some ppl think its disgusting and painful (gays and straigts) but that doesnt mean you can have fun, other activities better than that, that get you of faster and more hygienic

Thank you for reminding me! big_smile

Oct 13 10 05:21 pm Link

Model

Model Sarah

Posts: 40652

Columbus, Ohio, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

Actually yes, it's very similar. I've been with some straight guys who simply love to be fondled while they jack off, and could care less if it's done by a male or female...even though they have no physical attraction to males.

I know a few men like this as well. It's called being sexual and knowing what you like.

borat

Oct 13 10 05:21 pm Link

Photographer

MJF Artworks

Posts: 3765

San Diego, California, US

Black and Blue wrote:

OMG funny you should mention this cause my fiance's co-worker was INFURIATED at men who had butt sex with women calling them closet homosexuals (well, a lot more derogatory than that...)

He was just jealous. Of the women. wink

Oct 13 10 05:21 pm Link

Photographer

Damon Banner

Posts: 85322

Hayward, California, US

Rika LaRogue wrote:
I totally got curious and googled frottage.

I can demonstrate on you if you want.  just let me know.

Oct 13 10 05:21 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

MJF Artworks wrote:

So.... mixed nuts?

OMG I'm so stealing that term! lol

Oct 13 10 05:22 pm Link

Photographer

MJF Artworks

Posts: 3765

San Diego, California, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

OMG I'm so stealing that term! lol

You can't steal what is freely given, Paul. wink

Oct 13 10 05:23 pm Link

Photographer

Andialu

Posts: 14029

San Pedro, California, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:

Actually yes, it's very similar. I've been with some straight guys who simply love to be fondled while they jack off, and could care less if it's done by a male or female...even though they have no physical attraction to males.

Error, error, does not compute

https://www.talonartstamps.com/images/aliens/Alien%208/broken%20robot.jpg

Oct 13 10 05:24 pm Link

Model

Rikala

Posts: 1603

Rochester, New York, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
I used to think that straight men who like buttsex with girls were just closeted gays. lol

https://images.nymag.com/listings/movie/teeth080114_175.jpg
Or they are a-scurred of vagina dentata yikes

Oct 13 10 05:25 pm Link

Photographer

William Kious

Posts: 8841

Delphos, Ohio, US

MJF Artworks wrote:

You can't steal what is freely given, Paul. wink

Now, close your eyes and contemplate beer nuts...

Oct 13 10 05:25 pm Link

Photographer

Fashion Photographer

Posts: 14388

London, England, United Kingdom

I always suspected that was the case. I figure if some straight women don't like anal sex, some gay men don't like it either.

Oct 13 10 05:26 pm Link

Model

K Allende

Posts: 14172

Columbus, Ohio, US

Paul Bryson Photography wrote:
- What's your take on gay men who do NOT enjoy anal sex?

I have the same take on it as I do any gay man.
Which isn't really any take other than that they deserve the same rights as everyone else. They can like to run around their home naked wearing underwear on their head and singing Peter Gabriel for all I care and I'd still fight for them to have equal rights.

Oct 13 10 05:26 pm Link

Photographer

MJF Artworks

Posts: 3765

San Diego, California, US

William Kious wrote:

Now, close your eyes and contemplate beer nuts...

I don't know that dipping my nuts in a mug of beer would be very satisfying. Unless it was someone else's beer and they didn't know about it.

Oct 13 10 05:27 pm Link

Photographer

Paul Bryson Photography

Posts: 48041

Hollywood, Florida, US

Rika LaRogue wrote:

https://images.nymag.com/listings/movie/teeth080114_175.jpg
Or they are a-scurred of vagina dentata yikes

I knew some guys in the Navy who experienced that overseas with the prostitutes who would stick razor blades in their vaginas. We actually had to go through classes that taught us to "inspect the pussy inside and out" before fucking. lol

Oct 13 10 05:28 pm Link