NicoleNudes wrote:
Heh. This kinda happened to me last night. I have a mirror in my bedroom and as we were having sex I looked up and saw myself in the mirror and thought to myself, "Fuck, I look good!"

Which makes me want to get up and go for a run today to keep up my hard work.

pics or it didn't happen

(can't blame a girl for trying right)

EDIT oh and curious... if it had looked weird, or unflattering (due to the position or whatever, not because you're ugly), woudl that have affected the rest of the sex?

Anna Adrielle wrote:
haha, that was funny, made me laugh out loud, thanks :p.
I feel the same way about the mini tuck :p. once I popped out all the kids I want to have, fix the whole area and be done with it.

I can deal with the stretchmarks, the floppiness bothers me a bit. But I'm working on just ignoring it as much as possible :p

(my mom had 4 kids... her stomach still looks like when she was 16. Genetics can be such a bitch)

I always think of that when I feel weird about my stretchmarks. Not everyone has good skin. I have cousins who are tiny, have had big pregnant bellies and not a single stretch mark. My skin doesn't work that way. The belly pouch is very genetic for me, me mum is tiny (5'5 130 lbs or so) and she has a belly pouch. I stopped stressing about it, just keep your line of sight away from the lower belly, and admire your lovely rack, lol.

Jojo West wrote:

I do understand where you're coming from, even now I sometimes feel weird about sleeping on my side, and when my husband puts his arm around me, if I notice, I'll maneuver his arm up. I did stop being so hard on myself though. It had been years since I fit into a size 10, and I do now. Even though it's not where I want to be, it's closer than I was. I look at myself in the mirror much more now, naked even. I take it in, accept it, and think of positive ways to define what it is I want to keep changing about my body. I think age and maturing may have had something to do with that too.

Bless you both! So good to see such strength from two gorgeous ladies in sharing your personal stories.

I gained weight after having my baby and I was also embarrassed of my body. I also have a history of ED and it was hard not to go back to that in order to lose the baby weight. I talked to my husband about it and he actually told me that when he looks at me he doesn't see my actual body, as in boobs and butt and stretch marks and whatever else. He sees my whole self and everything we've been through together. He sees my personality and what I'm capable of and that is what turns him on. Also he said that yeah, he does notice that I have extra weight and stretch marks. He's not blind, but to him they aren't a big deal and they don't distract from the sexy bits. A naked lady is a naked lady! And honestly when you think about it, aren't there one or two things that your partner is self conscious about but when they tell you about it you're like, "What? No! You are so hot!" And yeah when they point it out you see it but most of the time you don't even notice.

Anna Adrielle wrote:

pics or it didn't happen

(can't blame a girl for trying right)

EDIT oh and curious... if it had looked weird, or unflattering (due to the position or whatever, not because you're ugly), woudl that have affected the rest of the sex?

If it was me, it would have affected the sex 100% This has happened to me before and I ended up turning out the lights and getting into a different position, and even then the whole time I was thinking, "omg hurry up so I can go cry by myself"

Romantic right?

Anna Adrielle wrote:

pics or it didn't happen

(can't blame a girl for trying right)

EDIT oh and curious... if it had looked weird, or unflattering (due to the position or whatever, not because you're ugly), woudl that have affected the rest of the sex?

Haha. The bf won't even let me take a penis picture or butt picture, trust me, I've tried like a hundred times. He has a nice penis and a really nice butt there's no way I'm getting any pictures without a hidden camera.

No, not with him. I know he loves me and he loves my curves. He actually doesn't want me to lose any weight or lose my curves.

Now, when I was single and I was doing the one night stands - and I was also as heavy as I've ever been - yeah it would effect sex. I remember the one time I was with a guy he picked me up and the only thing I could think of was "omg I must weight so much. I bet this would be way easier if I was one of those skinny girls. Put me down"

I didn't let anyone pick me up after then. It just made me feel huge and gross.

To end on a good point though, our finial position having sex was with me on my back. That naturally creates rolls on your stomach so I don't really like to do it in that position. But last night I looked down and was like "hey, there's less rolls and they're smaller too. Sweet"

Scarlett Renee wrote:
This comment is not for the innocent of mind....

The number one motivating factor for staying in shape and working out is so that I look DAMN fine f*cking.

Seriously, when my SO is looking at me butt ass naked doing things that would make my grandma blush, I hope he's like "Now that is is some FINE ass"

If working out gives me a body where I have the self confidence to be doing the deed with all the lights on in a room full of mirrors, I'll have confidence in a bikini or in a pair of jeans.

Had to LOL at this one, because it's my motivation as well.  My boyfriend is 9 years younger than me and ripped doesn't begin to describe him.  I look like his old, fat mom, when we go out. 

He's never said anything, but I can't imagine he's really attracted to my pot belly.

But, OP... motivation, where ever you find it, is a good thing.

Christinare wrote:

Because if I give myself positive reinforcement in the form of "Wow, my stomach looks really toned!" or "My legs are slimming up!" I lose the momentum that got me started. I feel like I've already accomplished something, so I can maybe skip my workout tonight, or go ahead and have another serving of dinner. When I feel like I look really good, I tend to stop doing what got me there. For me, I just find motivation in seeing something that I have yet to attain, and must keep working hard toward.

Thats why i choose to keep myself in a perpetual state of self improvement rather than 'get in shape'. I tried all those crazy workouts trying to get in shape and as soon as i made any gains i'd get lazy and put it off. Once i made it part of my daily routine and stopped viewing exercise as work, i made some serious gains. Just doing pushups and situps every day gets better results for me than if i were to try some crazy overexerting workout and then slack once i get in shape.

Scarlett Renee wrote:
This comment is not for the innocent of mind....

The number one motivating factor for staying in shape and working out is so that I look DAMN fine f*cking.

Seriously, when my SO is looking at me butt ass naked doing things that would make my grandma blush, I hope he's like "Now that is is some FINE ass"

If working out gives me a body where I have the self confidence to be doing the deed with all the lights on in a room full of mirrors, I'll have confidence in a bikini or in a pair of jeans.

One wall of my bedroom is covered in mirrors. The other is extremely thin and faces the hallway of my apartment building. It is near impossible to do the dirty deed without catching a glimpse of yourself or having some random passerby hear...

Koryn Locke wrote:
I'm being very honest when I say that it's hard to believe you would ever feel that way about yourself, because I do think the average person would agree you are of far above average attractiveness, if not beautiful. You're someone I would have trouble not staring at if you sat down in front of me on the subway.

Obviously, I believe every word you said, but it's hard to wrap my mind around.

Insecurity is not a logical phenomenon. Many girls question their appearance, since society places such a high value on it. Guys are no different, except most of their insecurities lie BEFORE sex and not during. The problem lies in a natural form of self expression polluted by ideas of what sex or beauty SHOULD be rather than what it is. Its normal to have these kind of aspirations, but rather than seeing beauty being your best self, people compare themselves to others. And since no one judges themselves fairly this means even some of the most attractive models can be insecure.


@Anna, Jojo
Fix your logical fallacies:
Sex does not require 'worth'.
Beauty is not about comparing yourself to others.
Stop ruining a mutually enjoyable experience with your own self shame. Its selfish.