Kirkham Studios wrote:
I would be grateful for any pointers or impressions.

You mention experience, but don't detail what, which isn't helpful. What work were you doing? Product? Senior portraits? Could be anything.....and professionals generally are very clear what they shoot and for who.

Heaven Leigh D wrote:
Do me please! (:

Here you go:

Hello! My name is Heaven and I'm a young model hoping to use this site to gain some experience and expand my portfolio.~insert list of genres you are looking to shoot, as that isn't clear~ I am generally very friendly and fun to work with. I'm not shy and I'm a little crazy...I'm not afraid of doing something absolutely stupid to get a great picture out of it.

I do not shoot nudes swimwear or lingerie.I also tend to change my hair often and drastically. So if you'd like a current picture, message me and I'll get one to you.

If you like my look and would like to work with me, or even if you just want to throw around some ideas, feel free to message me! (: Thanks!

Dominique Banner wrote:
what about me

Here you go:

My name is Dominique Banner and I have some experience including a few shoots with a local agency and several calendars. I am looking to expand my portfolio into ~list of styles/genres~ and meet with photographers interested in shooting in those styles.

I'm currently in school for hair design (mention any specific styling skills you have learned so far), am a competitive figure skater, and also have gymnastics and cheerleading experience.

I would love to do some shoots indoor and outdoor, whatever you have in mind and basically am up for anything.
Thanks!

BlueMoonPics wrote:
What impression do you get of my profile? thx

All of the relevant info is front and center...this is good.

However, it reads really clipped and curt, and gives me no sense of your style/personality and why I would choose you for a shoot, rather than the next guy or girl.

Quinno Photto wrote:
id like to know!

The genres you're looking to shoot are there but that's about it. Why are you here on MM. Is it just to cast styling personnel for tests with agency girls? To find more local agency quality girls?

Given that you are obviously shooting in the non MM bricks and mortar realm, why is a MM pic of the day win your only listed credit?

Inquiring minds want to know.

KevBro Photography wrote:
I would appreciate your thoughts on mine.

A whole lot of words, that say little. What genres do you want to shoot? What types are you looking to work with? Are you a hobbyist looking for other hobbyists?

HarryL wrote:
I'm in....I know my bio is to long:)

It isn't, which is nice.

If you are on hiatus, that's fine. However, you should define what the "exceptional" is that would bring you out of hibernation and tear you away from your food styling...if for no other reason that to cut down on unneccessary inbox messages.

CBs Photography wrote:
I'm ready to rewrite my bio so your input would be greatly appreciated.

If you've been reading any of the previous replies, it is a pain to have to ask folks what the hell it is they are interested in shooting, especially when the port covers a wide range.

Try this:

I have been on Model Mayhem since 2005. I've worked with models of all experience levels and in a wide variety of styles.  Most of my shoots are focused on ~list of genres/styles~ 

My goal is to create stunning images and build a working relationship with you.  I shoot in a relaxed, fun, creative atmosphere and always work within your comfort zone.

Friend Requests
If you a€™re a model and send me a friend request, I take that as you like my work and you're interested in working with me.  If I send you a friend request, I like your work and I am interested in working with you.  Random friend requests are deleted.  Please leave a comment or tag before submitting a friends request.

Damianne wrote:
I message you asking for what may or may not be a lesbian porn thing and I make mention of my boyfriend, but I could have just asked you to do a doubles fine art shoot and my boyfriend mention was possibly talking about some plans I have that restrict when I could shoot, it's too vague to tell.

BASICALLY COULD BE SKETCH.

Profile text says ask for clarification or just don't respond (or your equivalent response to a sketchy sketchfest).

Tricky to call without the precise text of sketchy sketchfest, but here goes:

"I'm sorry your original message was a little unclear. Are you looking to shoot ~totally thatz okay fine art work~ or  ~sketchy mcdoodle nowayinhell~?


Additionally, does the BF mention mean you are looking to shoot ~non plans interfering date~ for this concept?



Generally, when offered something that is vague as all shit and probably sketch, I force people to clarify so that I can clearly turn down what it is they are offering and/or re assert my limits as to what I do shoot, on the off chance they just suck at communication.

Once they clarify, it makes it easier to politely refuse or to accept what is not as creeper mc peeper as it first appeared, whichever applies.

Paige Morgan wrote:
Based ONLY on your text.....do I think you'd be a good choice for a shoot?

Do you seem professional or an epic pain in the ass?

Do I walk away know what you do, and what you seek?

Is it made of WIN or full of red flag FAIL?


Post here, and I'll tell you the impression that I get.

Could I use a rewrite?

Paige Morgan wrote:

All of the relevant info is front and center...this is good.

However, it reads really clipped and curt, and gives me no sense of your style/personality and why I would choose you for a shoot, rather than the next guy or girl.

Thanks for your opinion Paige!
Unfortunately, I have no personality.
I just hope people like my images and choose me because of my work.

Jackson frontier photos wrote:
I'm in, thank you.

You don't need a model's permission to post photos in your portfolio, and setting that as a standard could lead to all kinds of drama later on.


Here you go:


Looking to add experience with new talent. Primarily looking to expand into glamour and location oriented portraits in natural settings. I will also consider any ideas you may have.

I can assist you in building your portfolio for free.All I ask in return is your willingness to be a reference and use of a few shots for my portfolio. I have experience with Photoshop CS5, and do my own editing.

Limited paid assignments are available.

I go out of my way to help those that I work with to feel comfortable and respected and to develop references that can attest to this. You are always welcome to bring an llama herder. Good communication is appreciated.

BlueMoonPics wrote:

Thanks for your opinion Paige!
Unfortunately, I have no personality.
I just hope people like my images and choose me because of my work.

Which is a valid point....but I think we all know it isn't just a matter of talent in any creative field. Marketing matters too.

You haven't hit the level of fame/recognition yet where you can pull a greta garbo, want to be left entirely alone, and still keep a 6 months ahead full schedule.

Maria Susanti wrote:
will play

I'd add in a list of what you ARE looking to shoot, not just what you aren't

Paige Morgan wrote:
You mention experience, but don't detail what, which isn't helpful. What work were you doing? Product? Senior portraits? Could be anything.....and professionals generally are very clear what they shoot and for who.

Thank you, I posted it late at night and over looked that.  Will definately update it asap.

FStopFitzgerald wrote:
I have to admit I'm curious what you think.

After viewing a few profiles this is becoming a pet peeve.

List what you ARE looking to shoot/who you are looking for, not just what you are not interested in....especially when the port is varied.

Images of Light wrote:
Yes let me know please.

Here you go:


Hi,  I am Craig and here to help with any photography needs you may have. I shoot a bit of everything ~list of genres~, so don't be afraid to ask. I get back to messages as fast as I possibly can.

At this time, I am only shooting TFCD/


All models will receive a  CD of high res images in 7-10 days.  Once you have received your CD, I will retough your selections (Up to 20) in high resolution.

I  can travel to your location within a reasonable distance.

NicoleNudes wrote:
I'm made of win, aren't I?

You are actually. crisp, clean and to the point, without sounding like a diva or an ass.

WIN!

Foto Priganica wrote:
Hello ... what about me?

These 3 points should be clearer.

You have a studio of your own

You do your own retouching

You are booked solid with alt shoots, but will consider selective trade....... with who and for which genres?

Thomas Sellberg wrote:
Shoot. I'm think it's probably time to redo it anyway...

Too much biography, and it isn't really relevant

Here you go:
I've spend years shooting landscapes and nature,as I am an avid outdoors men (hiking, fishing, camping, etc. )

My goal is to learn to work with people better as there isn't much to direct with landscapes, and one is at the mercy of Mother Nature. Advice/criticism is welcome, as are any shoot ideas you may have.

Shades Of Gray wrote:
This sounds like a great thread.  Count me in.

The good:

Your relevant experience is at the top and the images are at the bottom.

The bad:

Who are you looking for as far as MM? New clients? Models to test? If so which models?

MCB Imagery wrote:
I'm in if you're still going . . . thanks!

All in all, not bad. Relevant information is a bit buried under non specific adjectives, which is my main quibble.

Who DOESN'T want to work with creative and passionate people?

Who doesn't want to have a fun day on set?


It's so nonspecific it means very little.

MUSE Photography wrote:
ok my turn! let's hear it!

That copyright notice is meaningless, and is a common newb over reaction, especially when you've already gone the "distracting watermark" route. You get word of someone using your images in an inappropriate way, you send out DCMA notices/ take needed legal action...not junk up you profile with psuedo legal jargon.

"My work speaks for itself" is a meaningless cliche, and even if it did....is it saying what you want folks to hear?

Try this:


I would love to collaborate with models, stylists, designers, MUA's, and other photographers. I'm always ready to shoot in ~non abbreviated name of cities/areas~  I am looking to shoot ~list of genres on a ~types of compensation~ basis.


Please bring a 2GB or bigger thumb drive to the shoot, as I prefer not to email photos. If you live out of state and are leaving town before the images are ready, I'll be happy to mail your drive to you when they are.

I do my absolute best to offer quality, professional service, so my time is your time until you are happy with your images.

You can see more of my work on Red Bubble:

~insert Red Bubble Link~

AndyD10 wrote:
I've updated my profile text recently so I'd love to know how it's perceived.

Your first 2 paragraphs are not really relevant, and add nothing to your pitch.

Slight tweak to clean up:


I've been photographing people in both Ireland and the UK since the end of 2011.

This year,  I would really like to get more experience in portraits, fashion

Valerie Walls wrote:
I would love to hear your opinion

You have good work, but based solely on your profile text, I'd skip you. It's hard to read, full of fragments, run ons, and a complete lack of paragraphs. Just all the way around a pain in the ass to find the relevant details in.

Try this:

I am a passionate well educated hair stylist/make-up artist. ~Sentence mentioning any specific schools/training/certifications you many have~. I am a licensed cosmetologist in both Missouri and Illinois, and currently manage ~name of salon~ in Collinsville.

I can create everything from vintage styles to current trends, and am on MM to find projects to enhance my creativity, and further my career as a freelancer.

I'm skilled in airbrush application, which often reduces the retouching needed, and don't mind pitching in to help with whatever the production requires. From coffee runs to holding reflectors, I'm a big believer in using teamwork to make each shoot run as smoothly as possible.

If requesting TFP, please be advised I prefer to do both make up and hair, so the resulting image will be of maximum benefit to my portfolio.

Axioma wrote:
analyze me ^^.

Base profile is very solid, but are you retired or not?

The travel dates and retirement mention less than 2 lines from each other are a touch confusing. Is this a last tour situation?

Paige Morgan wrote:

It isn't, which is nice.

If you are on hiatus, that's fine. However, you should define what the "exceptional" is that would bring you out of hibernation and tear you away from your food styling...if for no other reason that to cut down on unneccessary inbox messages.

Thank you Paige, your advice did help greatly.

Big hug

Harry

Jojo West wrote:
Oh oh tell me tell me!

Big ass images should be at the bottom, IMHO. The smaller social media buttons are unobtrusive, so that's no worry.

The moving "welcome to my page" banner slows load time and adds no value.


It seems you shoot more than nudes, implieds and fetish, so listing the other genres you shoot/display in your port might help....never hurts to give folks more options to book you for.

IIRC, you have a driver/llama herder so you might want to clarify that point for the folks who have a stance on either side of the issue.

Also I'd reword this section a bit for clarity, as the way it's written is somewhat confusing:

If you're interested in shooting nudes, implied nudes or fetish, my rates are very reasonable, I don't do TF nude work unless it is agreed upon at some point or I respond to your casting call. You can also make me an offer and we can go from there. Willing to do TF work if it will benefit my portfolio. TF work with full team will take priority.


Perhaps this instead?

"Reasonable rates for nudes, implieds and fetish. Make me an offer and we can go from there. Open to select beneficial TF, with full teams taking priority.

In the specific case of nudes, I'll do TF nude work if we've previously agreed upon it, or if I answer your casting call for a TF nude project"