Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > SF2: Ess Effin Two > I need tomorrow to be better

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

I was supposed to go to a bonfire tonight, but opted out because I was afraid of potential drama. The girl that wrote me the cruel note a few weeks ago was going to be there, so I decided to hang at home...I didn't want there to be weirdness and subject the party goers to that.

Well, thank goodness I stayed home. Turns out, she took my ex with her, someone who hates that crowd, hell, someone who supposedly hated her.

I know why she did it. To get at me. That's all she's done since the letter...befriend people she never liked, try and tear down my business, and now this. I haven't said jack about her, I just want it to go away, but she keeps going...keeps digging...

I'm no saint. But I don't get it. I've dropped it, I haven't trash talked her, and yet it continues.

Worst of all, I knew it would happen. Just didn't know she'd try so hard to ruin me...my friendships and my business. And I knew he'd play along with it, because he can't stand losing. :sigh:

Can it be over now?

May 18 13 08:28 pm Link

Photographer

Eye of Sicari

Posts: 37100

Toledo, Ohio, US

sad  ((HUG))

May 18 13 08:36 pm Link

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

Eye of Sicari wrote:
sad  ((HUG))

I just don't get it.  I don't.

I kinda figured she'd go after my business...yeah, it sucks, but my clients are loyal and know me so although it scares me, I know I'll make it through.  Just gotta skimp for a while...

The bringing my ex into the picture though.  That was a bit unexpected.  And that sucks.

May 18 13 09:21 pm Link

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

A little bit of backstory...

I was dating a guy for a while, we'll call him C.  Seemed nice, very charming, great house, great car, great life...I was pretty sure I had found the one.  We laughed at the same things, we enjoyed each others company, we never wanted to be apart. The relationship moved fast, he was all in, and then one day he was all out.  It made no sense to me.

..and then I remembered that he had warned me about it.  He had semi jokingly said he was a sociopath, and I didn't believe him because who wants to believe something like that when things are so good...

But he is.  Very legitimately.  He's the definition.  So without going into details, just trust me on this. 

Sociopaths can't lose.  The only emotions they feel are related to losing...anger over not getting what they want.  Disappointment in not being what they feel they should be.  He would diet like a crazy person when he gained a pound.  He got invisilign for his already perfect teeth.  Youngest member of the country club.  Optimist Club.  Junior Achievement.  And every other thing that screams "accomplishment" that you can think of...

Ya know, cause it's better than being bored.  And what else can you be without emotions to get in the way?

So of course when I stood up to my ex friend, after she screamed at me in public and chastised me repeatedly, she ran to him.  Because if you're going to try and hurt me, you're going to go after my business, and you're going to go after my biggest mistake.

She hated him.  She berated me constantly during my relationship with C, told me it wouldn't work, that something was wrong. He was off somehow. And he told me constantly that she was a bad person, that she was manipulating me, that I needed to end my friendship with her.  (which I did because it needed to happen...)

...so for him to show up to a party with her, thinking full well that I'd be there (because I was supposed to be)...it's all contrived.  He can't stand the fact that he's lost, that I won't be his friend, that I've moved on.  And she can't stand that I'm better off without her, because she was always 'right'....I was always the one that didn't know, that needed guidance, or whatever bullshit she created in her mind.

She wants to hurt me because I don't need her.  He wants to hurt me because I was the one that walked away when he wanted friendship.  She can't stand the loss because she feels superior, and he can't stand the loss because he's bored and can't lose.

And I'm the one paying for it.

Tomorrow will be better.  I'll find a way to overcome the bad mouthing of my business (thank goodness for loyal clients) and I'll find a way to forget the bad parts of mankind.  Just gotta keep on going...

May 18 13 10:08 pm Link

Photographer

Eye of Sicari

Posts: 37100

Toledo, Ohio, US

I kind of wonder what would have happened if you had gone, smiled and told them that they are perfect for each other and you are so happy they "found" each other and then just walked off humming with a little smile.

May 19 13 05:56 am Link

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

Eye of Sicari wrote:
I kind of wonder what would have happened if you had gone, smiled and told them that they are perfect for each other and you are so happy they "found" each other and then just walked off humming with a little smile.

Unfortunately that isn't what would have happened.  I've seen C out, I wave and go on my way.

I saw the girl out about a week ago.  I was at the place we used to go to together, sitting at the bar alone after a shoot, and she must have seen me walk in cause she came in from outside to tell me off.  I ignored her, she called me a pussy for not responding, so I turned around and said "please, just stop", which just made her more mad, more insults, etc...until the bartender/owner kicked her out.

So I definitely didn't want to risk a confrontation last night.  Not at a girl's birthday party (and risk ruining it) and without a bouncer to tell her to get out.  Especially after she got booted out of 'her bar'...I can only imagine the anger would have been even worse.  And I just don't need it.

Just sucks.  Haven't said a damn word to her in a month, kept her name out of my mouth, and she's still doing this shit.

May 19 13 08:35 am Link

Photographer

Paolo D Photography

Posts: 11502

San Francisco, California, US

why is your life a bad reality show?

May 19 13 09:50 am Link

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

Paolo Diavolo wrote:
why is your life a bad reality show?

Why are you still reading my threads?

May 19 13 10:05 am Link

Photographer

Jim Ball

Posts: 17632

Frontenac, Kansas, US

Two words will solve your problem with this person: ass kicking...

apply, rinse, repeat if needed.

May 19 13 10:08 am Link

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

Jim Ball wrote:
Two words will solve your problem with this person: ass kicking...

apply, rinse, repeat if needed.

I was talking to my grandma last night and that's pretty much what she said. 'Sounds like you just need to punch the bitch.'

That being said, it's not my style. But it is getting really hard to hold my tongue because I want the world to know just how awful she is. I also know trash talking, even if it is the truth, will make me look bad too.

It's just so incredibly frustrating. I'm at a loss because I figured she'd have moved in by now, but nope, guess not.

May 19 13 10:32 am Link

Photographer

Jerry Nemeth

Posts: 33355

Dearborn, Michigan, US

It will get better.  We love you!!   smile

May 19 13 12:38 pm Link

Artist/Painter

sdgillis

Posts: 2464

Portland, Oregon, US

cool,  get a restraining order.  Sue her for slander.  Whatever.

May 20 13 10:33 am Link

Photographer

Zebadiah _MI

Posts: 13433

Ann Arbor, Michigan, US

Damn, you deserve some drama free real friends.

May 20 13 08:37 pm Link

Photographer

L A F

Posts: 8524

Davenport, Iowa, US

Zebadiah _MI wrote:
Damn, you deserve some drama free real friends.

I have those.

This is all just fall out from removing the crummy people from my life.

May 20 13 08:51 pm Link