Photographer
HoniDrop Models
Posts: 25
Atlanta, Georgia, US
We are adults. Everyone has to live by their own moral compass. We gain and lose friends in life. While I'm sorry to hear you lose close friends, perhaps they were not as close as you had hoped. Situations in life reveal character. You are responsible for your own life, and your own happiness. Never lose sight of that. But do lose sight of others that can't love you and accept your choices in life.
Model
Victoria Morrisa
Posts: 130
New York, New York, US
When I announced to everyone that I am a Playboy Model, it changed my relationships with quite a few people. I lost one of my close friends for no explained reason and a lot of my family members love to gossip about me and are obsessed with me and my life now. I definitely wouldn't have shared my happy news with these people had I known they would be this way. I also have a ton of haters coming out of the woodworks. My success has definitely revealed the true characters of a lot of the people around me. In a way, I suppose these people did me a favor by weeding themselves out of my life. Now I know who my true friends and family are. The foremost reason why haters "hate" is because they are actually jealous, even though they seem like just haters or like they are being judgmental. When the people around them achieve their dreams and the hater doesn't, it brings them to the question of "what does that say about me?". It would turn their worlds upside down if they really thought about it because they would realize that everything they thought about life and their own goals was actually wrong. A lot of haters gave up on their own dreams long ago. Their way of coping with whatever they are feeling inside when confronted with other peoples' success is to attempt to stop the successful person and try to prevent their success by bringing them down or trying to talk them out of things, rather than making a change in their own lives and building themselves up. Also, "One can not give what one does not have." Meaning that if a person is not happy with themselves, they can't be happy for others. They just don't have it in them - They are numb. And if they, themselves, aren't successful, they don't want to see the people close to them succeed. A lot of times in life, the things other people do to us are not really about us. They are about them. They are being mean to you because of whatever they are feeling inside. Try to train yourself to not be effected by them. That's what I had to do. Understanding why they are like this will probably be your main step toward power. I hope this helps you. xo
Photographer
Herb Way
Posts: 1506
Black Mountain, North Carolina, US
"A friend is one with whom I may be sincere." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Forget those lost "friends" and keep on keepin' on. I'm reminded of how, when I was a teenager, many of my peers ridiculed me when I chose to spend nearly an entire summer's earnings on my first 35mm camera instead of doing the cool thing and purchasing a car.
Photographer
PaulHomsyPhotography
Posts: 131
Los Angeles, California, US
A. I. Studios wrote: <<<It is all about jealousy! Jealousy of your success, jealousy of your looks. Don't be concerned or sad you lost them, It was not friendship, it was charade! A true fiend will put you over his or her shoulders for you to rise high.>>> +1
Photographer
PaulHomsyPhotography
Posts: 131
Los Angeles, California, US
HoniDrops wrote: We are adults. Everyone has to live by their own moral compass. We gain and lose friends in life. While I'm sorry to hear you lose close friends, perhaps they were not as close as you had hoped. Situations in life reveal character. You are responsible for your own life, and your own happiness. Never lose sight of that. But do lose sight of others that can't love you and accept your choices in life. Perfectly stated.
Photographer
PaulHomsyPhotography
Posts: 131
Los Angeles, California, US
Mistie Sapphire wrote: Models, I have been modeling less than one year. It has changed me in ways I could have never imagined. I have grown confidence in myself and have found my passion in creating art. All that being said, I have lost my two closest, best friends (one since pre-school, the other since 7th grade) as they do not agree with my chosen choice of modeling genre - Fine Art and Glamour. The reason? I am modeling nude. My family is 100% on board and supportive of my modeling. People have asked me ... If I could go back again in time and NOT start modeling - to save those friendships - would I do it? I answer emphatically "NO!" each time as modeling has given me so much happiness and fulfillment. Also, if those "friends" were so fast to slut shame me in the first place, how good of friends were they to begin with? I wanted to ask other models : Have you had similar situations? Have your friends or family had issues with your modeling and judged you for it? I'm curious about your experiences. On one hand, I guess I really have created art because art is supposed to make people feel something. In this case it's not what I intended, but art is subjective. Your work is very beautiful, I would disregard the opinions and attitude of "friends" who can only accept you within the confines of their set parameters of friendship.
Model
Shilo Von Porcelaine
Posts: 235
Los Angeles, California, US
I'm sorry. I know how hard it is. I've had friends abandon me for the same and similar reasons--people don't understand. They see things how they want to see them. It's sad really...and they won't listen when you want to tell the truth. Honestly I believe a lot of it is jealousy. They don't have the courage to do what you're doing because they're worried about people not accepting it...so they do the whole reverse psychology thing and refuse to accept it themselves It's petty but if they're true friends they will come around to it or realize how silly they've been when you become successful.
Photographer
L O C U T U S
Posts: 1746
Bangor, Maine, US
Mistie Sapphire wrote: Models, I have been modeling less than one year. It has changed me in ways I could have never imagined. I have grown confidence in myself and have found my passion in creating art. All that being said, I have lost my two closest, best friends (one since pre-school, the other since 7th grade) as they do not agree with my chosen choice of modeling genre - Fine Art and Glamour. The reason? I am modeling nude. My family is 100% on board and supportive of my modeling. People have asked me ... If I could go back again in time and NOT start modeling - to save those friendships - would I do it? I answer emphatically "NO!" each time as modeling has given me so much happiness and fulfillment. Also, if those "friends" were so fast to slut shame me in the first place, how good of friends were they to begin with? I wanted to ask other models : Have you had similar situations? Have your friends or family had issues with your modeling and judged you for it? I'm curious about your experiences. On one hand, I guess I really have created art because art is supposed to make people feel something. In this case it's not what I intended, but art is subjective. Don't be sad, Mistie Sapphire. You and I have been friends our whole lives. We just haven't found each other yet. Smile, and keep doing what you're doing.
Model
Paul LaBlanc
Posts: 8
New York, New York, US
The new friends that I have made through modeling have been the best. I long to be around people with a creative spirit and soul. Artistic people remind me that there are good humans on this planet. Don't look back, look only forward.
Photographer
Doug Stringham
Posts: 38
Salt Lake City, Utah, US
Some of this stems from ignorance of art and the process involved. Some from jealousy. You never know who your true friends are until you either a) hit the lowest of lows, or b) gain the highest heights. Success and failures can have a strange impact on friendships.
Photographer
Doug Stringham
Posts: 38
Salt Lake City, Utah, US
Victoria Morrisa wrote: When I announced to everyone that I am a Playboy Model, it changed my relationships with quite a few people. I lost one of my close friends for no explained reason and a lot of my family members love to gossip about me and are obsessed with me and my life now. I definitely wouldn't have shared my happy news with these people had I known they would be this way. I also have a ton of haters coming out of the woodworks. My success has definitely revealed the true characters of a lot of the people around me. In a way, I suppose these people did me a favor by weeding themselves out of my life. Now I know who my true friends and family are. Everyone's choices are their own. But I always caution models who want to expand into more explicit modeling that there is a good chance that some friend and family may be alienated... and that they need to seriously consider this in their decision and ask themselves if that is something they want to deal with or not.
Photographer
Doug Stringham
Posts: 38
Salt Lake City, Utah, US
Lallure Photographic wrote: Now you KNOW the real reason photographers do not like escorts for models. That IS the real reason. You nailed it.
Makeup Artist
Raychie Loves Makeup
Posts: 120
Grand Rapids, Michigan, US
It's a thing. Some people get nervous around successful/fabulous people. I say "bye bye" to them.
Model
Victoria Morrisa
Posts: 130
New York, New York, US
Doug Stringham wrote: Everyone's choices are their own. But I always caution models who want to expand into more explicit modeling that there is a good chance that some friend and family may be alienated... and that they need to seriously consider this in their decision and ask themselves if that is something they want to deal with or not. Other peoples' opinions should never be a consideration in how one decides to live their own life.
Photographer
Jerry Nemeth
Posts: 33355
Dearborn, Michigan, US
Victoria Morrisa wrote: When I announced to everyone that I am a Playboy Model, it changed my relationships with quite a few people. I lost one of my close friends for no explained reason and a lot of my family members love to gossip about me and are obsessed with me and my life now. I definitely wouldn't have shared my happy news with these people had I known they would be this way. I also have a ton of haters coming out of the woodworks. My success has definitely revealed the true characters of a lot of the people around me. In a way, I suppose these people did me a favor by weeding themselves out of my life. Now I know who my true friends and family are. The foremost reason why haters "hate" is because they are actually jealous, even though they seem like just haters or like they are being judgmental. When the people around them achieve their dreams and the hater doesn't, it brings them to the question of "what does that say about me?". It would turn their worlds upside down if they really thought about it because they would realize that everything they thought about life and their own goals was actually wrong. A lot of haters gave up on their own dreams long ago. Their way of coping with whatever they are feeling inside when confronted with other peoples' success is to attempt to stop the successful person and try to prevent their success by bringing them down or trying to talk them out of things, rather than making a change in their own lives and building themselves up. Also, "One can not give what one does not have." Meaning that if a person is not happy with themselves, they can't be happy for others. They just don't have it in them - They are numb. And if they, themselves, aren't successful, they don't want to see the people close to them succeed. A lot of times in life, the things other people do to us are not really about us. They are about them. They are being mean to you because of whatever they are feeling inside. Try to train yourself to not be effected by them. That's what I had to do. Understanding why they are like this will probably be your main step toward power. I hope this helps you. xo I know a Playboy model who keeps a low profile for these reasons.
Photographer
Marcio Faustino
Posts: 2811
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany
When you become more dedicated to something personal in life is normal find yourself more distant from friends and relatives. But if they are really important to you ans you to them, you find a way to meet at least once a week for a coffee or lunch somewhere. Otherwise you just forget them and they just forget you.
Photographer
Marcio Faustino
Posts: 2811
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany
Victoria Morrisa wrote: The foremost reason why haters "hate" is because they are actually jealous, even though they seem like just haters or like they are being judgmental. Don't be sure about that. I know many people who became arrogant after success and show off so often that start annoy others around. All they have in common is to call others as "jalous". And those who keep near them are not actually real friends but on their side just because they want shine off together. There are of couse jalous people and haters but they won't blame you if you don't try to bring attention to you, your weathy and your success everyoften and again. If you keep quiet they will be quiet.
Model
Victoria Morrisa
Posts: 130
New York, New York, US
Marcio Faustino wrote: I know many people who became arrogant after success and show off so often that start annoy others around. All they have in common is to call others as "jalous". And those who keep near them are not actually real friends but on their side just because they want shine off together. There are of couse jalous people and haters but they won't blame you if you don't try to bring attention to you, your weathy and your success everyoften and again. If you keep quiet they will be quiet. I've studied the psychology behind this and I've spoken with a lot of successful models and we share identical stories of people coming out of the woodworks to be mean to us for no reason. In the scenario that a persons' bragging (real or perceived) becomes annoying to someone, they can easily just block the person on Facebook (if that is where it's happening) or they can end the relationship with the person. But haters don't do that. They want to keep a close tab on the person and know everything they're doing. They are obsessed with the person they hate on. One must come back to the question, though, of why that person's success bothers them so much. It is probably envy. However, most haters don't understand or know themselves well enough to reach that understanding.
Photographer
Marcio Faustino
Posts: 2811
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany
Victoria Morrisa wrote: I've studied the psychology behind this and I've spoken with a lot of successful models and we share identical stories of people coming out of the woodworks to be mean to us for no reason. In the scenario that a persons' bragging (real or perceived) becomes annoying to someone, they can easily just block the person on Facebook (if that is where it's happening) or they can end the relationship with the person. But haters don't do that. They want to keep a close tab on the person and know everything they're doing. They are obsessed with the person they hate on. One must come back to the question, though, of why that person's success bothers them so much. It is probably envy. However, most haters don't understand or know themselves well enough to reach that understanding. I really can't believe that success can attract so many jalous raters. When it is just a couple or a very small number it may happen, but when there is too many of them, you and your friends are doing something else that is attract haters. You and your friends may not notice, but you are. And it is not success alone. Maybe sami nude works, maybe always talking about your work as models, maybe too often showing off your life style. And yes, haters can't just ignore. They will follow you to find more reason to confirm their hate.
Model
Victoria Morrisa
Posts: 130
New York, New York, US
Marcio Faustino wrote: I really can't believe that success can attract so many jalous raters. When it is just a couple or a very small number it may happen, but when there is too many of them, you and your friends are doing something else that is attract haters. You and your friends may not notice, but you are. And it is not success alone. Maybe sami nude works, maybe always talking about your work as models, maybe too often showing off your life style. And yes, haters can't just ignore. They will follow you to find more reason to confirm their hate. Read the entire thread, if you'd like. It is full of models who are all experiencing the same thing. Success of any kind tends to attract jealousy.
Photographer
Marcio Faustino
Posts: 2811
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany
Victoria Morrisa wrote: Read the entire thread, if you'd like. It is full of models who are all experiencing the same thing. Success of any kind tends to attract jealousy. All right. But my advice is to not pre judge every one as jalous. The same way you don't want everybody pre judge you are arrogant showing off, or what ever. Because I often hear people saying "you are jalous" just to feel better about themselves and their behaviour. To regard every critique and hate as jalousy is to regard oneself as glamourous. And being glamourous is exactly what everybody want feel. In other words, it is very convenient to find jalousy on others.
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