Julietsdream wrote:
*This should be interesting...would Love to know..!!
...Thanks in advance..!!

The first part of your opening sentence is great: "I am a creative photographer, clothing and jewelry designer,"
Straight to the point, I know what your talents are. The fact that there are multiple categories listed here also sets you apart and gives you value-adding skills.
You use asterisks (*) to emphasize words and tildes (~) to separate sentences. Normally, I would say that this looks unprofessional, but yours is one of the few cases where I will say it actually complements your brand. You have the word "dream" in your username, and you identify your brand with "gothic", "princess", and "fantasy", so this is one very rare case where I don't hate it. This use of punctuation matches your identity and gives a wave of personality. But I'd advise you to use this sparingly in messages and emails. It can come off as annoying rather quickly.

Your sentences kind of meander around. It's very stream-of-consciousness, so I do feel like I'm hearing you describe yourself out loud. You have your call to action ("Let's shoot!") right in the middle.. You also change who you're directly addressing as you go. 'Models- I can do this for you,' 'Photographers, I may or may not be willing to work with you,' and then you go back to more of a general section about makeup artists, but you don't shout out to HMUAs.

So my biggest impression is that you wear a lot of hats. You do a lot of things creatively, and that's great. Your writing makes you come off as a little bit of a scattered artist in a nice way.

I look at your images and your style is exactly what you say it is. Big thumbs up. I'm getting strong gothic princess fantasy dream vibes. You know what you're about.

As a model, I'd hope that your messages are more professional sounding than your bio, but I see your passion and that's exciting.

As a photographer, I might not reach out because I'd feel like I have to prove myself to you. You could change this to be more welcoming.

If I were a makeup artist,  you give the impression that you've got hair and makeup covered. I probably wouldn't reach out because it seems like you don't really have a need to work with a HMUA.

So yeah! Do you feel like the impression I get is the impression you are hoping to give off?

Fleming Design wrote:
OP, you may want to rewrite this sentence:  "I want to build up a respectable portfolio that showcases my range and meet talented people."   Using the same words, maybe:  "I want to meet talented people and build up a respectable portfolio that showcases my range."

Glad to help.

You're right, reordering these parts makes it clearer. Thanks.

Paolo Diavolo wrote:
im interested in hearing, if anyone has the time to read mine and comment.

Hi Paolo!
Right off the bat, I love the categorized, bullet-point style. It's very clean and very organized. I think you hit all the areas that a bio should hit on a professional networking site. Your Bio already answers a lot of the questions that I would normally ask in a message exchange. You've made the communication process more efficient because I already know that I can reach you through MM (I don't have to email you), you are available for weekend shoots and you have access to your own studio.

I can already visualize what a shoot with you will entail. This is priceless.

So my first impression is that you're experienced, organized, and you like to get things done with "bing, bang, boom" efficiency.
In your portfolio I see a side I didn't expect. I see experimentation with different styles. This gives me the impression that you like to challenge yourself creatively. Now I know that pretty much any creative idea I have, no matter how challenging, you might be the person who's up for it.

Overall, I think what you've got is great. Your sentences are clear. No grammar, spelling or punctuation errors leap out at me. The only improvement I would suggest is to add something under "Photoshoots" or under "Personal" that indicates your flexibility of style and willingness on take on a creative challenge.

Is there anything that you're hoping to give off that I didn't pick up on?

CrissyKayD wrote:
Is there anything that you're hoping to give off that I didn't pick up on?

nope. appreciate you taking the time.
you're awesome! thanks.

roger alan wrote:
Yes Crissy, I would like your opinion please.

Please be aware that my port is in flux currently. I have 5 images from a recent shoot on top, testing to see viewer response before possibly culling a couple of them. And with several even newer images about to be posted, the organization of images in my port is not coherent at this point.

Hi Roger!
Your Bio is short, clear and to-the-point. You indicate in a kind, respectful way that you don't have time for flaky or bratty people.

My impression from reading it is that you are excited to be on this site--excited to make new connections and work with new people. You are professional and no-nonsense, but in a way that comes off friendly and not condescending.

When I look at your portfolio (taking into account that you said it's in-between right now) I definitely think that once you have the new images uploaded and organized the way you want them, it'll reinforce my positive first impression. You've worked with models with totally different looks, and you made them all look comfortable and beautiful, just as your Bio promised.

Did I miss anything that you want people to know about you?

nope. appreciate you taking the time.
you're awesome! thanks.

My pleasure! Thanks for you interest.

CrissyKayD wrote:
.......


Did I miss anything that you want people to know about you?

Nope, you "got" what I was hoping to express, but most of which I didn't actually say, lol. I can only hope that prospective collaborators will possess intuition and keen insight similar to yours

Thank You, and best of luck with your modeling career!

roger alan wrote:
Nope, you "got" what I was hoping to express, but most of which I didn't actually say, lol. I can only hope that prospective collaborators will possess intuition and keen insight similar to yours

Thank You, and best of luck with your modeling career!

Thank you!

Rays Fine Art wrote:
I'll play (and appreciate the opportunity).

Hi Ray!
First, it warms my heart that you are 79 and you are still so enthusiastically pursuing your passion for photography. I'm inspired by the variety of creative positions you've held in your career. You write about them in a way that shows you are proud of your experience, but not boastful.
I get the impression that you genuinely love photography as a creative outlet. You're happy to be a mentor to hardworking people coming up in the industry, but you're humble and realistic about what you do and don't know.
I like that I already have a feel for your kind, honest personality before the word "tasteful" comes up. It makes me really believe you when you say "tasteful", unlike when some people use it simply as a buzzword.

Your Bio is long, but you organize it into sections, which makes it easier to take in. I don't believe everyone who is interested in working with you will read the entire Bio, so that's why the sections are good, because they can decide what they most need to know about you and read that section. Every section does an equally good job of portraying a kind, experienced artist who practices photography for the love of the art.

When I look at your portfolio, I'm glad to see adherence to the meaning on "tasteful". Your work is a celebration of the human figure and the human experience. Some images are stronger than others. All the models appear very comfortable. I see a variety of creative inspirations, which is no surprise after reading about your varied career.

Your Bio is long but worth the read. Thanks for your interest in my thoughts!

Garry k wrote:
I would love to know ....

Hi Garry! Thanks for your interest. I apologize for the delayed reply.
I like how the first part of your bio is Show, not Tell. Then, when you do tell, you tell it short and sweet. The paragraph about your background could be reworded for clarity. It tells of your extensive experience, but it's written in a roundabout way. The copy writing in your bio has room for improvement in structure and clarity, but you come across as a serious professional. I love the testimonials and I appreciate that you tell us what makes those people important and credible.
I have some specific editing suggestions if you are interested.

Your bio tells me that you are a very experienced, talented, serious fashion photographer. You have worked with and formed  great relationships with recognizable people in the fashion community.

Your portfolio (on your Wix site) backs up this impression 100%. Your work is high quality and diverse.

Your bio doesn't give a strong feel for personality or passion, but it screams photographic chops.

Thank you for your interest in my thoughts! Is there anything that you want people to know about you that they might not be picking up?

CrissyKayD wrote:
Your portfolio speaks for itself. But what does your writing say about you?
Is your Bio getting people excited to work with you?
Could it be pushing people away?

I love modelling and photography, but my first creative love was writing.
I'm a Journalism major with a talent for copy editing.
I'll read your profile Bio and tell you my first impression before looking at your image portfolio.
Then I'll look through your images and tell you if that impression is changed in any way, or if it is reinforced.
If you're interested in more feedback, I can offer tips on how you might improve your writing.

Crissy

I'm in for this! Go for it!

WisconsinArt wrote:
Sure... what does my bio say... I recently shortened it because it's obvious most don't read it to begin with.

Hello!
Your bio is nice and short. It reads very much like a conversation, so I get an idea of your personality and how you speak. When you say that you post a small portion of your work on MM, I can visualize your poring through your files, deliberating which few make the cut. This gives me high expectations that your portfolio will be the creme of the crop. I like that you say you do TFP as an outlet for your creative ideas. I get the sense that when you get a creative bug in your ear, you just can't rest until you've brought the idea to life.
The last line tells me that you hope to inspire others, but I also presume that you feel that way because others often inspire you.

Your portfolio is very surreal, creative and outside the box. It confirms the sense that you get a creative idea and run with it.
I did not expect compositing and environment manipulation, because your bio didn't really indicate anything about the styles of photography and post that you do. It gave more of a general feeling of passion and creative drive for this art form.

Thank you for your interest!
Let me know if it's what you're hoping to convey!

sospix wrote:
I'm not even sure what it says  .  .  .  does it speak to you Miss C  .  .  . 

SOS

There isn't much in your bio and it's all abbreviated to be as short as possible. This tells me you don't like to waste time on unnecessary details when there's a simpler way to get a point across. In two lines and four half sentences I've learned why you're on MM, what you shoot, how you negotiate compensation and how to get ahold of you to set something up. That's about as to-the-point as you can get! It seems that you get right down to the nitty gritty. You're serious, you are confident that you are good at what you do, but you're not cocky.

Based on your specialties, I'm expecting your portfolio to have a lot of publication quality glamour shots. I expect there are a lot of very traditionally beautiful people posing in different places in varying amounts of clothing. Some will be more commercial than others, I think, because you said you've shot for catalogs. The calendars and posters, I suspect, might be more creative and risque.

And your portfolio is giving me exactly what I expected. There's a great variety so I can see how dynamic your style is. Different types of lighting, different styles of editing and different levels of safe-for-work-ness.

If you are pleased with the way your personality comes off from this tiny bio, then I say there's nothing wrong with having something so short.
Thank you for your interest!

Adriano Sollazzo wrote:
I would like to know what do you think of mine, please take a look and give me your opinion!

Thanks in advance

Hello Adriano!
Your bio is a lot about how photography has impacted your life. I really feel like I get to know you as a photographer from reading it. I understand how you started out, how you've grown and your philosophy for your continued growth. Your bio has a little bit about what you like to shoot, so I can imagine you shooting with your prime lens in an environment that best fits your subject.

I can tell that english is not your first language. If you would like help editing some of the grammar, I would be happy to make suggestions. But your writing is strong enough that I understand what you mean throughout. I think your bio is making people more interested in meeting you and working with you.

Your portfolio of portraits fits my expectations. You are very good at using shadows artistically. The locations you have shot are beautiful.

Thank you for letting me share my impression!

Decay of Memory wrote:
This sounds delightful, please feel free.

I can tell that you are very much an artist.
Your bio is more a piece of creative writing than a history of you and a description of your experience. I can see where you are creating visuals in this writing, however, the important details of the piece are clouded with distracting fluffy words. Passive voice on top of passive voice causes confusion about the subject of the sentence. I can see that your style is inspired by classic literature. However, the piece is a bit clunky and awkward. This prose has potential, but it's trying too hard to be artistic for the sake of being artistic.
I realize this is rather harsh. I only mean to be honest.
The impression I get from reading this bio isn't, "This person is very creative and and artistic"
Unfortunately, the impression I get is, "This person really really wants me to think that they are artistic. It comes off inauthentic. It makes me uncomfortable because it feels forced."

Your photography is wonderful. I have nothing but praise for your unique, abstract photos. The editing is just enough to distort reality.

So I think your profile could be a lot stronger if you'll allow me to work with you to refine the story of the pond. I think we can make it so the writing demands to be taken as seriously as the outstanding photography it introduces.

Please PM me if you'd like to discuss this more.
Thank you for sharing your profile with me!

CrissyKayD wrote:

There isn't much in your bio and it's all abbreviated to be as short as possible. This tells me you don't like to waste time on unnecessary details when there's a simpler way to get a point across. In two lines and four half sentences I've learned why you're on MM, what you shoot, how you negotiate compensation and how to get ahold of you to set something up. That's about as to-the-point as you can get! It seems that you get right down to the nitty gritty. You're serious, you are confident that you are good at what you do, but you're not cocky.

Based on your specialties, I'm expecting your portfolio to have a lot of publication quality glamour shots. I expect there are a lot of very traditionally beautiful people posing in different places in varying amounts of clothing. Some will be more commercial than others, I think, because you said you've shot for catalogs. The calendars and posters, I suspect, might be more creative and risque.

And your portfolio is giving me exactly what I expected. There's a great variety so I can see how dynamic your style is. Different types of lighting, different styles of editing and different levels of safe-for-work-ness.

If you are pleased with the way your personality comes off from this tiny bio, then I say there's nothing wrong with having something so short.
Thank you for your interest!

Thanks for the look Miss C, and the opine  .  .  .  I guess I truly am a man of few words  .  .  .    Now, let's hope I've said enough to spark an interest in you to shoot with me if you're ever in my area  .  .  .  you've got an open invite  .  .  .

SOS

CrissyKayD wrote:

I can tell that you are very much an artist.
Your bio is more a piece of creative writing than a history of you and a description of your experience. I can see where you are creating visuals in this writing, however, the important details of the piece are clouded with distracting fluffy words. Passive voice on top of passive voice causes confusion about the subject of the sentence. I can see that your style is inspired by classic literature. However, the piece is a bit clunky and awkward. This prose has potential, but it's trying too hard to be artistic for the sake of being artistic.
I realize this is rather harsh. I only mean to be honest.
The impression I get from reading this bio isn't, "This person is very creative and and artistic"
Unfortunately, the impression I get is, "This person really really wants me to think that they are artistic. It comes off inauthentic. It makes me uncomfortable because it feels forced."

Your photography is wonderful. I have nothing but praise for your unique, abstract photos. The editing is just enough to distort reality.

So I think your profile could be a lot stronger if you'll allow me to work with you to refine the story of the pond. I think we can make it so the writing demands to be taken as seriously as the outstanding photography it introduces.

Please PM me if you'd like to discuss this more.
Thank you for sharing your profile with me!

You've taken the time to offer a critique that's both pointed and specific. This is helpful, thank you for the insights.

CrissyKayD wrote:
Hello Adriano!
Your bio is a lot about how photography has impacted your life. I really feel like I get to know you as a photographer from reading it. I understand how you started out, how you've grown and your philosophy for your continued growth. Your bio has a little bit about what you like to shoot, so I can imagine you shooting with your prime lens in an environment that best fits your subject.

I can tell that english is not your first language. If you would like help editing some of the grammar, I would be happy to make suggestions. But your writing is strong enough that I understand what you mean throughout. I think your bio is making people more interested in meeting you and working with you.

Your portfolio of portraits fits my expectations. You are very good at using shadows artistically. The locations you have shot are beautiful.

Thank you for letting me share my impression!

First of all thank you for your time.
As you said english is not my first language and I will appreciate some suggestion if you are kind enough to give.
I'm here to grow up as photographer and any help to improve is welcome.
Thank you again!

CrissyKayD wrote:

Hi Garry! Thanks for your interest. I apologize for the delayed reply.
I like how the first part of your bio is Show, not Tell. Then, when you do tell, you tell it short and sweet. The paragraph about your background could be reworded for clarity. It tells of your extensive experience, but it's written in a roundabout way. The copy writing in your bio has room for improvement in structure and clarity, but you come across as a serious professional. I love the testimonials and I appreciate that you tell us what makes those people important and credible.
I have some specific editing suggestions if you are interested.

Your bio tells me that you are a very experienced, talented, serious fashion photographer. You have worked with and formed  great relationships with recognizable people in the fashion community.

Your portfolio (on your Wix site) backs up this impression 100%. Your work is high quality and diverse.

Your bio doesn't give a strong feel for personality or passion, but it screams photographic chops.

Thank you for your interest in my thoughts! Is there anything that you want people to know about you that they might not be picking up?

Thank You - I am going to work on it some more ....