login info join!
Forums > Off-Topic Discussion > Will society ever change..? R.I.P. Amanda Todd... Search   Reply
first123456last
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,614
Tampa, Florida, US


DarcieK wrote:

True. But her dad found her in a ditch after she was beaten and then she drank bleach. Along with moving schools multiple times, I'm sure her parents knew what was going on. However, putting a stop to it can be very hard.

I hope the man who blackmailed the poor girl gets found and charged.

Somebody needs to find his FB profile if possible and crusade on his ass as well

Oct 12 12 08:15 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Children are sacrosanct, you violate that ummutable law and you take more than just your life in your hands.
Oct 12 12 08:23 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Sleepy Weasel
Posts: 4,623
Castle Rock, Colorado, US


I think it's time for some vigilante justice.

If anything remotely close to this happened to my daughter, I'd be on the news for kicking some kid's ass. I don't tolerate that bullying shit. And I'm pissed that adults are not more proactive and aggressive in dealing with it unless it's some old lady on a bus and there's a video of it.
Oct 12 12 08:30 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
In Balance Photography
Posts: 3,370
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Chris Rifkin wrote:

And unlike past generations it was much easier to stop from a parental point of view..(or even fight back)
my son gets bullied,I'm going to the parent's of the kid and humilliate them in front of the asshole bullying my son...or I tell my son to take a baseball bat to school and take care of it.
These days everyone hides behind lawyers,including the schools
Often the bullies are star athletes and school athletics is big buisness,and they have ways of surpressing the issue(the "persecution complex I speak of),often making things worse
And these days its not just one bully,they come in packs..

Again,my hypothetical kids get a home tutor and schooled this way

These are hard problems to deal with - there are definitely no easy answers. Every child is different, and every situation is different.

Leave the child to sink or swim and there can be outcomes like this news story. Home school the child and opportunities to develop the skills to deal with bullying situations can be missed - leaving the child behind the curve when they finally enter university or the workforce (bullying can happen there too - it's just done differently).

Ultimately, the child needs the skills to deal with their peers - getting them those skills is as important as teaching them to read and write. No question - it's a challenging task.

Oct 12 12 08:39 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,209
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Sleepy Weasel wrote:
I think it's time for some vigilante justice.

If anything remotely close to this happened to my daughter, I'd be on the news for kicking some kid's ass. I don't tolerate that bullying shit. And I'm pissed that adults are not more proactive and aggressive in dealing with it unless it's some old lady on a bus and there's a video of it.

My mom confronted my bully for me since I was too scared., The most important thing was I TOLD them. But I'm very close with my parents..

My bully never bothered me after that.

Oct 12 12 08:44 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Gianantonio
Posts: 7,989
Minneapolis, Minnesota, US


PhillipM wrote:
Parents asleep at the wheel, somewhere?

Totally.  Why did she continue to have a Facebook page?  How can someone have boobs as their FB profile photo?  Story seems a bit sketchy to me...  This seems to have gone on for a couple years.  Why no restraining orders?  Why no complaints to Facebook?

Oct 12 12 08:46 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,614
Tampa, Florida, US


In Balance Photography wrote:

These are hard problems to deal with - there are definitely no easy answers. Every child is different, and every situation is different.

Leave the child to sink or swim and there can be outcomes like this news story. Home school the child and opportunities to develop the skills to deal with bullying situations can be missed - leaving the child behind the curve when they finally enter university or the workforce (bullying can happen there too - it's just done differently).

Ultimately, the child needs the skills to deal with their peers - getting them those skills is as important as teaching them to read and write. No question - it's a challenging task.

With home schooling though the child can interact with others,ie,I would have my kid involved with sports,martial arts(unlike me I I will be extremely pro active in giving my child the tools to take care of him/herself at a much earlier age)music,ect...he/she would be with their peers,just not locked inside a building where I can't trust the people in chage will do the right thing if one of the children my kid is locked in that building with is an asshole

Oct 12 12 08:46 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Stormee
Posts: 2,463
San Antonio, Texas, US


Oct 12 12 08:47 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JessieLeigh
Posts: 2,040
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


Stories like this are exactly why I doubt I will even bring a child into the world. It's easy to second guess what the parents did, or did not do here.. but the fact is theyare the ones without their beautiful child... And I bet they too are second guessing themselves and asking if they could have prevented this.

The world is a very cruel place. Her video will stick with me for a long time, this poor poor child. sad
Oct 12 12 08:49 am  Link  Quote 
Model
-Nicole-
Posts: 19,209
Madison, Wisconsin, US


Gianantonio wrote:

Totally.  Why did she continue to have a Facebook page?  How can someone have boobs as their FB profile photo?  Story seems a bit sketchy to me...  This seems to have gone on for a couple years.  Why no restraining orders?  Why no complaints to Facebook?

My thoughts as well. Were people just completely BLIND around this girl?

I mean, it's a damn shame that the events she went through led to this but...something is weird..

Oct 12 12 08:49 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Compass Rose Studios
Posts: 15,979
Portland, Oregon, US


Cole Morrison wrote:
whats worse is the horrible comments people are leaving on the video

Imo, if you're hurting don't put yourself out there on the internet.  There is literally ALWAYS some douche bag who will try to bring you down no matter what you say online. 

I sometimes wonder if, as a species, we're responsible enough for anonymous mass communications.

Oct 12 12 08:52 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Stormee
Posts: 2,463
San Antonio, Texas, US


Oct 12 12 08:58 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Select Models
Posts: 36,046
Upland, California, US


RIP Amanda... and I guess the burning question is... was she on MM?
Oct 12 12 09:00 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Gianantonio wrote:

Totally.  Why did she continue to have a Facebook page?  How can someone have boobs as their FB profile photo?  Story seems a bit sketchy to me...  This seems to have gone on for a couple years.  Why no restraining orders?  Why no complaints to Facebook?

You can put any picture on FB. It only gets taken down if someone reports it.

Secondly, she was a teenager. She was scared and probably didn't really know what to do.

Oct 12 12 09:11 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Phane
Posts: 2,048
Rockville, Maryland, US


Autonomy II wrote:
Children are sacrosanct, you violate that ummutable law and you take more than just your life in your hands.

So true am pregnant and this whole story hurts.

Oct 12 12 09:28 am  Link  Quote 
Model
ashara
Posts: 988
Brewster, New York, US


Tim Little Photography wrote:
I owe you guys, and myself, an explanation for my two original post. I think I mentioned in one of them that I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There are certain things that can serve as a trigger and take me to a terrible place. Bottom line is this. When I saw Amanda's beautiful face I saw my niece.

I understood that it wasn't my niece who was murdered but it didn't matter.

Now that I am in my right mind I still feel the man who went after her has to die.

Unfortunately, I don't disagree with you!


This story absolutely breaks my heart.

Oct 12 12 09:31 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Tim Little Photography wrote:
That man shes talking about, the man that man the man who murdererd her. He kept finding her and destroying her over and over and over and over and he the man MUST be found. He must be found. He must die he must or he will keep killing little girls. Oh god ogod o god I'm

Y'all, I have PTSD and sometimes I lose it she looks so much like my niece. What if he has my niece what if he. Oh God find find him and kill him.

I feel your pain. Seriously, I'm so sad and hurt and pissed I keep attracting the pain she must have felt into myself and that energy makes me cry...

I don't know if death sentence is good enough for this guy. If I was the parent I would totally lose and torture this man near death for as long as the time period he put my beautiful little girl through her heart-ache. Death is too fast.

sad

Oct 12 12 09:34 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


In Balance Photography wrote:

As is the case for many of these tragedies, there are so many people that could - and should - have done something different - the man who contacted her originally, the bullies at school, the parents, the school administrators & teachers.

But I'm a firm believer in that the buck has to stop with the parents.

Like... Wasn't she on suicide watch? That's what I can't figure out she had SO many attempts at this... Why did she still have access to taking her life? Where was I?!!!!! Why didn't I see this video soonerrrr?!!

Oct 12 12 09:35 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Phane
Posts: 2,048
Rockville, Maryland, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

I feel your pain. Seriously, I'm so sad and hurt and pissed I keep attracting the pain she must have felt into myself and that energy makes me cry...

I don't know if death sentence is good enough for this guy. If I was the parent I would totally lose and torture this man near death for as long as the time period he put my beautiful little girl through her heart-ache. Death is too fast.

sad

I dont understand why people can be so mean. Wouldn't people prefer  to encourage and motivate the young instead of bringing them down. They are our future after all

Oct 12 12 09:36 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Eridu
Posts: 623
Boston, Massachusetts, US


Phane wrote:

So true am pregnant and this whole story hurts.

Congrats, Mommy.

Oct 12 12 09:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


AdelaideJohn1967 wrote:
It's quite tragic and sad what happened but if I may take this thread into a controverisal coment or two.

Whatever happened to the attitudes of past generations? Such as?

"stick and stones" and all that. People were much harder then this generation it would seem or such? Why do people today seem so much softer then in my generation? We could handle name calling and a bit of bullying. You learn eventually that if you put the bully in their box they don't ever do it again.

I just don't get why today people react the way they do?

Honestly... I say this once and again and forever. UNLESS one has been through depression and/or anxiety... one will NEVER EVER EVER fully understand how painful it can be, physically, mentally, emotionally. It is such a dark place where you're alone, your mind fucks with you and tells you fucked up things... I wish we could preach if you haven't been there... Keep your negative thoughts on the disorder to yourself.

Oct 12 12 09:37 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Christopher Hartman wrote:

Cherrystone wrote:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/1 … 59909.html

sigh...I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this.


No...they didn't try everything.  You go after the bullies and you destroy them.  YOu make it VERY PUBLIC TO EVERYONE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE THESE PEOPLE ARE AND THE FAMILIES THEY COME FROM.  And...friends and family need to grow some balls and stand up for her.  Not with words and pictures, but by being there with her.

And Facebook?  How does she see all these message?  Stop being friends with people that are NOT your friends.

ahh forget it, I'm pissed off now.

Facebook? Fuck that, cut off all access to ANY social site. It's not needed!

What the fuck happened to child boot-camp? Wait does that not exist? Take all of these sick and twisted kids and put them through physical, emotional, mental trauma for a day or two. And remind them:
"THIS IS WHAT YOU PUT AMANDA THROUGH" !!!

Oct 12 12 09:40 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Andialu
Posts: 14,029
San Pedro, California, US


Samantha Liana wrote:
Honestly... I say this once and again and forever. UNLESS one has been through depression and/or anxiety... one will NEVER EVER EVER fully understand how painful it can be, physically, mentally, emotionally. It is such a dark place where you're alone, your mind fucks with you and tells you fucked up things... I wish we could preach if you haven't been there... Keep your negative thoughts on the disorder to yourself.

Why so vicious? He brings up a valid point. He didn't mention a disorder. He just wondered out loud why kid's skin isn't a little thicker.

Oct 12 12 09:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JessieLeigh
Posts: 2,040
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


To those that think homeschool was a solution that the parent's missed taking... This was a clearly very lonely girl. I don't think isolating her from others her age would have helped her depression in the slightest. To me, it's apparent that what she really wanted was to be accepted by her peers... This would also explain why she continued to go back to Facebook, it was the place that she found acceptance to a degree...
Oct 12 12 09:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


DarcieK wrote:

In regards to the bolded part.

When someone feels as though they are alone in the world they will add anyone they can to social media sites to feel accepted in their school. She had friend, they turned on her. Even if she wasn't friends with them, people could still message her or, depending on their privacy settings, she could see comments on statuses on her news feed.

And I totally agree about parents and teachers getting more involved in preventing bullying. This has to stop.

It's also addicting... It's a sickness that makes you keep going back to see what is being said about you. But she shouldn't have had access to a computer like I don't get ittt

Oct 12 12 09:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Chris Rifkin wrote:

And I'm sure the words "persecution complex" were often thrown around(this is the new way of coming up with a psychological excuse to brush things under the rug these days,the ole blame the victim card)
Seriously,if I'm the parents(if I'm not out with a gun gunning down anyone involved knowing the Canadian pacifistic state of justice on these matters)I' suing the fuck out of every single person involved into a state of poverty,including the parents of the girls involved,get names of the girls and plaster them on the internet,their parents,where they work,make their lives a fucking living hell)

+1

Oct 12 12 09:43 am  Link  Quote 
Model
JessieLeigh
Posts: 2,040
Las Vegas, Nevada, US


Samantha Liana wrote:
It's also addicting... It's a sickness that makes you keep going back to see what is being said about you. But she shouldn't have had access to a computer like I don't get ittt

I am not sure if it's the same there, but in both Arizona and Nevada I have gone to the local libraries and saw teens using their computers to go on Facebook. I wouldn't be surprised if the schools she attended also didn't have computer labs where students could go online.

I definitely agree that her parents should have at least monitored her use and blocked Facebook, if not keeping her offline entirely.. but it's also important to keep in mind that teens have access to the internet in places other then their homes...

Oct 12 12 09:48 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Samantha Liana wrote:

It's also addicting... It's a sickness that makes you keep going back to see what is being said about you. But she shouldn't have had access to a computer like I don't get ittt

Most schools have computers for the children to use and need for doing research. Trying to block her from computer use is not a solution.

Oct 12 12 09:48 am  Link  Quote 
Model
ashara
Posts: 988
Brewster, New York, US


Andialu wrote:

Why so vicious? He brings up a valid point. He didn't mention a disorder. He just wondered out loud why kid's skin isn't a little thicker.

I don't think she meant to sound so "vicious". It's just that sometimes it's hard to explain to people who haven't gone through anxiety/depression/etc. what it's like. They tend to say things/ask questions that may come off as insensitive because they just "don't get it". They don't understand that it's not something that you can just snap out of".

Oct 12 12 09:51 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Andialu wrote:

Why so vicious? He brings up a valid point. He didn't mention a disorder. He just wondered out loud why kid's skin isn't a little thicker.

I'm vicious because I have symptoms of both disorders... And it doesn't matter if he didn't bring up the disorder because THAT is why her skin was so thin.

I KNOW how it feels, and I communicate with those close to me who don't and it's frustrating and a lonely feeling.

The kids SKIN wasn't thick because she was
A)Young
B)Allegedly alone
C)Severe depression and Anxiety.

Is this arguement for real?

Oct 12 12 09:52 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,614
Tampa, Florida, US


Tim Little Photography wrote:
I owe you guys, and myself, an explanation for my two original post. I think I mentioned in one of them that I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There are certain things that can serve as a trigger and take me to a terrible place. Bottom line is this. When I saw Amanda's beautiful face I saw my niece.

I understood that it wasn't my niece who was murdered but it didn't matter.

Now that I am in my right mind I still feel the man who went after her has to die.

My PTSD was triggered the second I saw this article(I suffer it from being the horrific torment and bullying I went through).....

And agree,I want to hunt this guy down myself and rip him up

Oct 12 12 09:54 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


DarcieK wrote:

Most schools have computers for the children to use and need for doing research. Trying to block her from computer use is not a solution.

True...

Bottom line though... I thought after so many attempts of suicide the person is on intense suicide watch.

All schools block facebook by the way. Only way to get on facebook is through cell-phones, libraries and friends... Which seems avoidable to me.

Oct 12 12 09:55 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Samantha Liana wrote:

True...

Bottom line though... I thought after so many attempts of suicide the person is on intense suicide watch.

All schools block facebook by the way. Only way to get on facebook is through cell-phones, libraries and friends... Which seems avoidable to me.

Not all schools block Facebook.

Oct 12 12 09:56 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


ashara wrote:

I don't think she meant to sound so "vicious". It's just that sometimes it's hard to explain to people who haven't gone through anxiety/depression/etc. what it's like. They tend to say things/ask questions that may come off as insensitive because they just "don't get it". They don't understand that it's not something that you can just snap out of".

I really don't mean to crazy, thanks.

But this event put me and I'm sure a lot of others in a dark place...

Oct 12 12 09:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Andialu
Posts: 14,029
San Pedro, California, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

I'm vicious because I have symptoms of both disorders... And it doesn't matter if he didn't bring up the disorder because THAT is why her skin was so thin.

I KNOW how it feels, and I communicate with those close to me who don't and it's frustrating and a lonely feeling.

The kids SKIN wasn't thick because she was
A)Young
B)Allegedly alone
C)Severe depression and Anxiety.

Is this arguement for real?

The point he made was a broader one.

Oct 12 12 09:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,614
Tampa, Florida, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

I'm vicious because I have symptoms of both disorders... And it doesn't matter if he didn't bring up the disorder because THAT is why her skin was so thin.

I KNOW how it feels, and I communicate with those close to me who don't and it's frustrating and a lonely feeling.

The kids SKIN wasn't thick because she was
A)Young
B)Allegedly alone
C)Severe depression and Anxiety.

Is this arguement for real?

Thank you
and in my case I had to deal with a Catholic extremist mother who didn't do a damn thing about it because in her fucked up world it was all part of God's plan,and to fight it would interfere in his plan..Turn the other cheek,let's go talk to the priest about it...

And she also thought any kind of Therapy was also satanic because it interfered with God's plan,when I was "down"(she refused to say the word depressed because it was a medical term)That is what the Priest was for....

Oct 12 12 09:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chris Rifkin
Posts: 24,614
Tampa, Florida, US


Samantha Liana wrote:

I really don't mean to crazy, thanks.

But this event put me and I'm sure a lot of others in a dark place...

Oct 12 12 09:58 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Samantha Liana
Posts: 2,634
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


DarcieK wrote:

Not all schools block Facebook.

All elementary school block facebook...
All high schools block facebook...

I was in high school like 3 years ago, there is never access. But then again, I'm speaking from Toronto.. hmm

Oct 12 12 10:00 am  Link  Quote 
Model
ashara
Posts: 988
Brewster, New York, US


-Nicole- wrote:

My thoughts as well. Were people just completely BLIND around this girl?

I mean, it's a damn shame that the events she went through led to this but...something is weird..

MY thoughts exactly.  I don't understand why people make it seem like they did every thing possible and this unfortunate event STILL came about.  It sounds as if she was a normal healthy girl UNTIL that jerk started harrassing and taunting her which sent her into a downward spiral. Frankly, I don't know many adults who could take being harrassed, insulted and belittled so much and throughout such a period of time without it affecting them in one way or another, either.
It sounds to me like SO MANY people chose to turn a blind eye for one reason or another because the signs were there.
I just don't get it!

Oct 12 12 10:01 am  Link  Quote 
Model
DarcieK
Posts: 10,874
Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada


Samantha Liana wrote:

All elementary school block facebook...
All high schools block facebook...

I was in high school like 3 years ago, there is never access. But then again, I'm speaking from Toronto.. hmm

That may be a provincial thing. I am certain some schools here allow access to it.

Oct 12 12 10:03 am  Link  Quote 
first123456last   Search   Reply