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Photographer
Orcatek Photography
Posts: 1,686
Tempe, Arizona, US


Send a polite no.  Then if he keeps trying, just block him.
Nov 14 12 06:34 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mortonovich
Posts: 5,250
San Diego, California, US


You simply make it about YOUR work and not his.
"Thank you but I'm looking for a different direction for my book at this time."

Something like that. Don't make it about how his work "wouldn't benefit my port".
Nov 14 12 06:35 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
LLOYD WRIGHT
Posts: 664
Newcastle upon Tyne, England, United Kingdom


you said you like to be nice. the most rude thing to do is not respond [not very nice at all]. just say thank-you for the interest but that his style is a little too risque for you.
Nov 14 12 06:36 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Camerosity
Posts: 5,055
Saint Louis, Missouri, US


How about "No, thank you."

The best and nicest thing you can do (for both of you) is to make it clear that you're not interested - the first time you respond. If you leave any doubt or any opening, it will just be the beginning, not the end of it.

Most models just don't respond. If that's not working in this case, maybe you need to be somewhat more direct. (But I'd still go with not responding in future cases. Most people get the message - the first or second time.)

No explanation is necessary - but if you feel compelled to give one, you can say that your styles don't match, or that his style isn't the direction in which you want to take your portfolio. Or that you have very limited time for trade work, and that there are more photographers that you'd really like to work with than you have time for.

Just be clear. Make sure he understands that you're not interested right off the bat. Once you've done that, ignore any future communiques - and block him if they keep coming.

If possible avoid critiquing the photographer's work. Some will take that personally.

And don't say that you're really busy for the next few months. If you do that, you'll hear from the photgrapher again - probably in about two weeks. I learned that the hard way (with models).

Oh, and one more thing... If you're gonna be in St. Louis - well, you know what to do. smile
Nov 14 12 06:46 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
JR in Texas
Posts: 317
Tulia, Texas, US


A polite "No, but thank you" should suffice, though if this person is being a pest it may not work.

Stating a reason, such as "not my style" can start a debate, or even be taken as an insult. Saying "too busy" just invites them to ask when you will be free. It is safer to stick to a simple no.
Nov 14 12 07:01 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
C s p i n e
Posts: 3,920
Portland, Oregon, US


Polite? I'd rather have a model tell me to go fuck granny's tit than leave me hanging. If the shoot is 3 weeks away, I can't wait around 2 weeks or so to get your hint. Polite is letting the photographer know asap that he needs to keep looking.
Nov 14 12 07:31 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Sleepy Weasel
Posts: 4,547
Castle Rock, Colorado, US


lol at the people WAY over-thinking this, listing multiple possible responses.

"No thank you" is the best one, as has been mentioned many times. Why make it so difficult?
Nov 14 12 07:57 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Blaneyphoto
Posts: 545
New York, New York, US


When declining a shoot offer, I simply cut and paste:

Hi,

Thank you for your inquiry, however I'm not interested in shooting.


I've yet to encounter anyone who misunderstands the message and nobody has every sent an angry reply. Simple and direct is best.
Nov 14 12 01:15 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
James Morgan aka Maddog
Posts: 102
Burlison, Tennessee, US


If all else fails.. Restraining Order.
Nov 14 12 01:24 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
BlueMoonPics
Posts: 3,934
New York, New York, US


I'll throw my vote in too...

Please write back to the photographer and say "no, thank you".

I personally appreciate this much better than no answer.
There have been a couple of models that wrote back to my request to shoot with them stating they weren't interested and I wrote back that I really appreciated them doing so.  I hold these models that said "no" in much higher regard than the ones that just never write back.
Nov 14 12 01:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Kayz-Modelling
Posts: 294
Plymouth, England, United Kingdom


OWD LA wrote:
Be professional, and send him a polite message saying thank you, but you're not interested. By being clear and concise, you don't have to worry about anyone "taking a hint."

+1
If you tell him plainly, but politely that you're not interested you shouldn't have to worry about any more messages smile no hints just facts big_smile

Nov 14 12 01:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
-Mason-
Posts: 240
West Saint Paul, Minnesota, US


A polite "no thank you," is so much more appreciated than no reply at all.
Nov 14 12 01:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chuckarelei
Posts: 9,268
Seattle, Washington, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Just say no. You don't even have to give a reason. By not replying, you are making yourself look bad as well (in my book).

Nov 14 12 01:30 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Seker Pare
Posts: 186
Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia


He might see this post - that could help you out smile

I say things such as at this point I'm involved with... etc. which is true - involved with other things. It doesn't say 'never' and it also doesn't say you might work with them if they message you more often.
Nov 14 12 01:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Danny DD
Posts: 342
Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium


'No' is just one word, you can always add a 'sorry' and some explanation, but no 2 page story needed smile
Nov 14 12 01:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
nyk fury
Posts: 2,903
Port Townsend, Washington, US


i agree with those who say that "no reply is not good". it's going to be rejection no matter what, but it should be a polite rejection.
Nov 14 12 01:42 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
PhotosbyChuck
Posts: 2,222
Glen Ellyn, Illinois, US


Valpo, eh?  I grew up in the area...

Failing to respond at all initially is unprofessional in my opinion.  With no word from you, the photographer might simply assume you're busy, his message is lost in a pile, etc.  A simple reply along the lines of not having a look you want to add to your port is fine.  Most people should read between the lines on that. 

"Hi ______, thanks for your interest in shooting with me.  After looking at your portfolio, I'm afraid I don't see a look that is in the same direction I'm trying to take my work.  I'd rather not disappoint you and suggest you seek out some of the other llamas here on MM, who better match your style.  Best wishes!"

After that, feel free to ignore anyone who gets upset...keeps bugging you about shooting, whatever.

If llamaing is to be a career, treat people well -- even if you don't want to work with them today.  You'll not regret it.
Nov 14 12 01:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Herman Surkis
Posts: 8,242
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada


_ Robyn Elizabeth _ wrote:

It's so hard to do that though as it's basically saying you're not good enough and from a personally point of view, I don't want my replies to discourage people.

I agree it is the right thing to do, but it's finding a way to say that without putting them down that's the hard part.

Not necessarily saying that they are not good enough, just that you are not interested.

There are models I have said no to, that are excellent models. It is simply that their look is not something that interests me. I was polite, and I hope that I can ask them, if I decide that their look is interesting in the future.

There are models that have turned me down, because what I was into at that time was not something that they were interested in. They were polite, and I was amazed when they recommended me to someone else.

Polite, but clear is good. If the other person cannot deal with it, then that is their problem.

Nov 14 12 09:34 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ontherocks
Posts: 22,207
Salem, Oregon, US


if ignoring them doesn't work you could try sending them your rates. if they get hostile then block and/or CAM them. some guys regress to elementary school maturity when women on here say no to them. sure it stings a little but they need to shake it off and move on.
Nov 14 12 09:41 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Herman Surkis
Posts: 8,242
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada


ChiMo wrote:
You simply make it about YOUR work and not his.
"Thank you but I'm looking for a different direction for my book at this time."

Something like that. Don't make it about how his work "wouldn't benefit my port".

I tend to be sensitive, and this would not ruffle my feathers.

Nov 14 12 09:42 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Herman Surkis
Posts: 8,242
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada


BlueMoonPics wrote:
I'll throw my vote in too...

Please write back to the photographer and say "no, thank you".

I personally appreciate this much better than no answer.
There have been a couple of models that wrote back to my request to shoot with them stating they weren't interested and I wrote back that I really appreciated them doing so.  I hold these models that said "no" in much higher regard than the ones that just never write back.

+1

Those that do not respond end up on my "do not shoot list".
But I shoot so little that I can get away with that.

Nov 14 12 09:46 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Peach Jones
Posts: 6,223
Champaign, Illinois, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

For me, there is nothing more disrespectful than being ignored. That is why I always respond to a model, even though I may never be interested in working with them.

what I usually tell them is, "thank you for the inquiry, but not really interested in shooting right now"

Nov 14 12 09:50 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
DarrylPascoePhotography
Posts: 454
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


As others have said, just respond with a "No thank you I am not interested, but I very much appreciate the offer". smile

That's it. very simple, polite, and gets the point across. If this is a person you do not want to work with at all under any circumstances then saying things like, "I am not doing shoots right now, I am busy" etc etc leaves it open to interpret that you would be interested if not for the fact that it is bad timing.

If it is someone you would work with if they paid then saying, " Thanks very much for your offer but I am not interested in a TF collaboration, however if you like I would be happy to send you my rates" is polite and to the point.

Better to be clear and still polite then leave open for him to interpret a different way. I also believe that not responding is completely rude.
Nov 14 12 10:43 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Ron Spackman
Posts: 209
High River, Alberta, Canada


As a photographer, I agree with all those who are saying that you simply say "no". Something to the effect of "Thank you for asking; but, no, I'm not interested." That's not offensive, it's not rude, it's just the reality.

I would not take offence at such a response. No competent professional would. It's when you try to find a way to be 'nice' that communication gets messed up. Be clear and direct. The photographer's ego is NOT your problem.
Nov 14 12 10:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Justin Suyama
Posts: 113
Seattle, Washington, US


Drew Smith Photography wrote:
Be honest and polite and professional:

'Thank you for your interest but I don't believe shooting with you would produce images that would benefit my portfolio.'

I think it'd be more beneficial to both parties if this is re-worded to something like.

'Thank you for your interest however my portfolio requires a different direction right now. I appreciate the time you've taken to seek me out. Best of luck in your endeavors.'

This way you don't burn a bridge that you might need to travel one day. Just saying, what if he/she gets really good? They'll remember.

Nov 14 12 10:54 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Innovative Imagery
Posts: 2,815
Los Angeles, California, US


I agree that is is better to reply than to ignore and that a simple, "Thank you, but no thank you." is all that is necessary.  DON'T make up deadlines and schedules and other excuses.  If he asks for a reason, just say, you don't feel your styles mesh and that you want to leave it at that.  If he contacts you after that, either ask him politely to not contact you further, OR just go ahead and block him.

Don't be vague and lead him along or give him false hope, but don't disembowel him either.  smile
Nov 14 12 11:03 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
John Felici
Posts: 607
Pascoag, Rhode Island, US


just do what all the other models do..
dont respond..

works every time
Nov 14 12 11:09 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
DEP E510
Posts: 1,474
Miramar, Florida, US


terrysphotocountry wrote:
No reply is a answer. I know I get no reply's from models posting for a photographer. Then I just move on. So don't worry about it!

Absolutely.

X 10,000

No answer is an answer-- and a good one.

Sending out a request to shoot does not obligate someone to respond to you.

Sending out a pm is just about testing the waters to see what happens.

Why would someone prefer a rejection pm to no response at all?

If someone reads your message and does not respond, that just means you shouldn't waste another second on them.

Nov 14 12 11:13 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
photosbydmp
Posts: 3,808
Shepparton-Mooroopna, Victoria, Australia


block him and don't reply an ever so popular choice on mayhem now.
Nov 14 12 11:13 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
E H
Posts: 522
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Professionals understand the no word,,, use it,,, If they don't understand still, let the cops explain why they are at their door,,, it is that simple.

Nov 14 12 11:30 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
alessandro2009
Posts: 7,360
Florence, Toscana, Italy


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?
This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

Take a look at the reply from Nadeshiko Yamato about the same topic:
http://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?threa … st15280017

JacquelineXx wrote:
It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

But since you don't want shoot with that photographer (i assume regardless the price) you can drop the second part of the answer:
"If you would like to hire me for this shoot, my rate is XX/hour. I wish you the best of luck with your project and hopefully we can work in the future on another project."

Nov 14 12 11:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
coach moon
Posts: 5,522
Pensacola, Florida, US


JacquelineXx wrote:

Thanks I might need it. My goal is just to be as respectful as possible and be very kind and all that good stuff. Ugh.

to be respectful would be to offer up a kind "no thank you. i'm not interested."  to avoid the issue is passive aggressive & non confrontational.

Nov 14 12 11:37 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Brett Fish
Posts: 394
Seattle, Washington, US


JonSeneca wrote:
Say no thank you, I'm not interested.

This.

Nov 14 12 11:42 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Drew Smith Photography
Posts: 5,209
Nottingham, England, United Kingdom


Or send him a link to this thread. smile
Nov 14 12 11:47 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Michael Fryd
Posts: 3,451
Miami Beach, Florida, US


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Being nice doesn't mean you can't disappoint someone.  You can be polite and nice and still deliver bad news.

If you don't want to work with a photographer, just tell him.  Not making your intentions crystal clear is pretty much the opposite of nice.   Hinting or not answering is not nice.


Examples of nice:

"Thank you for contacting me.  I am sorry but I don't think your style is a good match for me." (note you have said nothing bad about his style, just that it isn't what you want).


"I am sorry, but I am very picky when it comes to shooting nudes and/or implied nudes.  We have not worked together, and have not established a working relationship where I would feel comfortable doing such images with you.  At this time I will not be accepting your offer."



"Thank you for contacting me for TFP.  I have reviewed your work, and I am sorry, but I do not need the images you propose for my portfolio.  If you are interested in hiring me, my rates are ..."


If he persists:  "My decision is final."


Examples of Not nice:

"I would love to work with you but ..."  The problem here is that you have led the photographer to believe that if the specified condition is resolved that you will work for him.  You should expect the photographer to periodically contact you to see if you are now available.  Eventually you will block the photographer and you both will be upset.


Silence.  Refusing to answer is not nice.  Once the photographer receives your "no thank you" he can move on to looking for another model.  The sooner he gets his answer, the less time he spends planing on using you.

Nov 15 12 06:54 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mark Fix
Posts: 270
Englewood, Colorado, US


OWD LA wrote:
Be professional, and send him a polite message saying thank you, but you're not interested. By being clear and concise, you don't have to worry about anyone "taking a hint."

+1.

Too many, not just on MM, have become Politically Correct to the point communication clarity has nearly become a thing of the past.  "No", or 'Not at this time", or "Not for this project" should be acceptable.

Nov 15 12 07:29 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Drew Smith Photography
Posts: 5,209
Nottingham, England, United Kingdom


Suyama Images wrote:

I think it'd be more beneficial to both parties if this is re-worded to something like.

'Thank you for your interest however my portfolio requires a different direction right now. I appreciate the time you've taken to seek me out. Best of luck in your endeavors.'

This way you don't burn a bridge that you might need to travel one day. Just saying, what if he/she gets really good? They'll remember.

I like what you did there. Excellent.

But (without going back to the OP) I think the Op was saying how does she get rid of somebody that she'll never shoot with.

Nov 15 12 07:33 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
TomFRohwer
Posts: 589
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany


JacquelineXx wrote:
How do you tell a photographer "no" when you aren't interested in shooting with them?

This is a little problem for me right now as a photographer isn't getting the hint by me not replying to his message... I LIKE BEING NICE so, nice suggestions please.

It's bugging the crap out of me though. His pictures are mostly nude/glamour, and a little bit risque. His grammar is HORRIBLE and I just.. no.

Don't make "hints" - just say no. A polite "no" is not an offense.

And by the way: if somebody percieves a polite "no" as an offense he/she is definitely not the one you want to collaborate with.

Nov 15 12 07:37 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 169
Rochester, New York, US


You know what would be really cool?

If a model simply REPLIED to a request to work together.  I don't care if it's "yes, I'd love to", or "no, thank you," but never responding when I can tell my message has been read is just, well, kind of disrespectful.

-Joe
Nov 15 12 09:16 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 169
Rochester, New York, US


TomFRohwer wrote:
Don't make "hints" - just say no. A polite "no" is not an offense.

And by the way: if somebody percieves a polite "no" as an offense he/she is definitely not the one you want to collaborate with.

I agree completely with this.

-Joe

Nov 15 12 09:17 am  Link  Quote 
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