SPRINGHEEL  wrote:

Back in high school, a buddy of mine led the state in tackles as a linebacker.  He was fucking ferocious.  On game day, he'd drink gatorade all afternoon a refuse to go to the restroom.  On the first play of the game, he'd growl, on the verge of madness and piss himself in front of the opposing team's offensive line.  From their perspective, it wasn't the slightest bit amusing.  It was terrifying.  They all thought "This motherfucker is crazy.  I want nothing to do with him."

I feel like my HS friend died, came back as a crab and is going around terrorizing the rest of the crabs on the beach.  No one wants to fuck with that crab.  He's nuts.

Laura UnBound wrote:

I spent dinner spouting off about how silly I think some people are for insisting I need to be married at 23 to validate my relationship and how I think everyone I graduated school with who's on their umpteenth engagement or getting divorced or knocked up or some combination thereof are ridiculously stupid...


He just sat there with this grin on his face saying nothing.
I'm such a tool

This is awesome. Congrats guys. I'm super happy for you

ASYLUM - Photo wrote:
Kincaid is Bad Joke Eel.

I'm fairly positive that I've never told a joke in my life…

SPRINGHEEL  wrote:

oh mylanta

Michael Broughton wrote:
*sobbing uncontrollably as he dismantles his creepy laura unbound stalker shrine*

You're not the first.

I posted that I'm engaged on tumblr...I lost followers.

Laura UnBound wrote:

You're not the first.

I posted that I'm engaged on tumblr...I lost followers.

Heh, you think they'd at least wait a day or two for subtlety's sake 

Sha-Lynne wrote:

Heh, you think they'd at least wait a day or two for subtlety's sake 

My guess is they're the same middle aged socially inept mouthbreathing basement dwellers who do nothing but reduce me to their own personal Internet sex fantasy made up of stupid meat and send me anonymous messages asking about my vagina and my favorite sex fantasy/position/type/etc..


They wouldn't know subtle if it kicked them in the teeth

Laura UnBound wrote:



I had a bit of a different Christmas than I thought I would.

Congrats... I love L O V E.... be kind to each other... may you both have a great time and a great life together!

Laura UnBound wrote:

My guess is they're the same middle aged socially inept mouthbreathing basement dwellers who do nothing but reduce me to their own personal Internet sex fantasy made up of stupid meat and send me anonymous messages asking about my vagina and my favorite sex fantasy/position/type/etc..


They wouldn't know subtle if it kicked them in the teeth

omg. lol

I got the "santa didnt get me what I wanted for Christmas because you werent under my tree this morning" bullshit so many damn times this Christmas that I wanted to take a bat and smack all of them in the nuts.

Laura UnBound wrote:

can I have a mashed potato fountain at my reception?

At a work dinner we had a few months ago, the one girl walked by me with this martini glass with white stuff in it.  I got all excited thinking it was some kind of really awesome drink...

NOPE.

It was mashed potatoes in a martini glass with every topping imaginable!!

Awesome....

Laura UnBound wrote:

Fine, you slid...

too much lube?

lol

I'd love to hear that story!!!

Laura UnBound wrote:
My guess is they're the same middle aged socially inept mouthbreathing basement dwellers who do nothing but reduce me to their own personal Internet sex fantasy...

I live on the 9th floor, Laura! Not the basement!

Laura UnBound wrote:

My guess is they're the same middle aged socially inept mouthbreathing basement dwellers who do nothing but reduce me to their own personal Internet sex fantasy made up of stupid meat and send me anonymous messages asking about my vagina and my favorite sex fantasy/position/type/etc..

I CAN'T HELP IT IF MY SINUSES SUCK AND i CAN'T BREATH OUT OF MY NOSE AND I LIVE IN A TRAILER NOT A BASEMENT!


*huff!*

DarcieK wrote:
Late to the party, but congrats you two. I wish you all the best!

Youre not late until its over. Thank you

Kincaid Blackwood wrote:
...
On the first play of the game, he'd growl, on the verge of madness and piss himself in front of the opposing team's offensive line.  From their perspective, it wasn't the slightest bit amusing.  It was terrifying.  They all thought "This motherfucker is crazy.  I want nothing to do with him."
...

Dude, he was covered in urine, I'd want to run as fast as possible not to get tackled by the guy that just wet his own pants. 




And congrats again Laura!

Robb Mann wrote:
Congrats! Our little girl is all grown up! Sob.

Please come to Fells Point this year so we can get you sloppy drunk to celebrate.

maybe

ASYLUM - Photo wrote:
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE FIRST FOUR TIMES I INTERACTED WITH LAURA.

THERE WAS AT LEAST 18 NAKED BODIES, AND THREE HAMSTERS.

Becks wrote:
I feel like this should be quoted for posterity and also because HOW FUCKING FUNNY WOULD IT BE to say that mid-rehearsal dinner toast??

Congrats, Laura!

Here you go!

https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … st17876705

Also, congrats Laura and Peter!

Laura UnBound wrote:

My guess is they're the same middle aged socially inept mouthbreathing basement dwellers who do nothing but reduce me to their own personal Internet sex fantasy made up of stupid meat and send me anonymous messages asking about my vagina and my favorite sex fantasy/position/type/etc..


They wouldn't know subtle if it kicked them in the teeth

I just had a flash of Star Trek in my head.

Laura UnBound wrote:



I had a bit of a different Christmas than I thought I would.

Was it someone you know who gave you the ring?

Gianantonio wrote:

Was it someone you know who gave you the ring?

we'd met once or twice

Laura UnBound wrote:

we'd met once or twice

Bek Ruszin wrote:
Whoa!  Go away for a week or two and look what happens!


CONGRATULATIONS!

if it helps, I felt the same way

Thank you