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Photographer
Jason Haven
Posts: 38,290
Washington, District of Columbia, US


What if the penis has a message written on it??
Jan 06 13 06:37 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
KonstantKarma
Posts: 2,513
Hickory, North Carolina, US


ASYLUM - Photo wrote:
What if the penis has a message written on it??

Hopefully it's long enough to hold all the characters.

Jan 06 13 06:49 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
dhp
Posts: 111
San Francisco, California, US


Samantha Emme wrote:

http://www.heeldo.com/

ha! wow. I guess i fail at googling.

Jan 06 13 12:07 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Darren Brade
Posts: 2,746
London, England, United Kingdom


Evie_Wolfe wrote:
C/P of message received, with added commentary from moi in brackets. From another site thank god...


I am looking for models to boost my portfolio (fine so far), but since so many of you models are so stuck up you dont answer any message someone told me I have to pay (no-one responding, huh? Seem to be a little more upset than any grown man should be over a couple of unanswered messages, especially for a business proposition), so I want your rates, and if your a stuck up b***h (I blanked the word, not him) and dont pm me back I will put you on my flake list to show everyone I know so you better message back
(Name omitted)

There have also been the obligatory penis shots, invitations to 'Skype together... You know, see where things go', requests to engage in threesomes with couples I do not know and one marriage proposal from a Belizian gentleman who was coming to the UK for training with the British army and wanted to take me back with him.

Sounds like a winner. It had better be, or I'll put you all on my Cadbury's Flake List.

Jan 07 13 03:17 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Model Starr Photography
Posts: 526
Madison, Alabama, US


This is easily the funniest thread I've read in a long time. Thanks guys!
Jan 07 13 03:29 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Aylin Marie
Posts: 79
Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia


a request for an anal sex shoot from a male model  -_- ...
Jan 07 13 03:34 am  Link  Quote 
Artist/Painter
Two Pears Studio
Posts: 3,334
Wilmington, Delaware, US


Anna Adrielle wrote:
penispictures.

I got penis pictures from a post op transexual... showing me her when she was a he... and then after pictures.

I still cant figure why she thought I needed to see any of that?

I did work with her, but that is another story.

Jan 07 13 04:43 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
intense_puppy
Posts: 864
Brighton, England, United Kingdom


Two Pears Studio wrote:
I still cant figure why she thought I needed to see any of that?

She was probably just really proud.

Also, I bet she's a bore at dinner parties sad

Jan 07 13 04:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
London Fog
Posts: 6,770
London, England, United Kingdom


Anna Adrielle wrote:

I once had a conversation with a very established photographer, who wanted to do a series (with me wearing clothes, so not even nude) with me for a gallery exhibit... and in the middle of the conversation, it went something like this

"so I would like to have the series done in 3 months or so, so that it is ready in time. by the way, would you like to see me masturbate on cam?. Oh and I have found a great stylist for the shoot, it's going to be amazing"

right...

Jeez, there really are some assholes out there! Do these idiots actually believe that a model will agree to this?

Jan 07 13 04:59 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jordan L Duncan
Posts: 207
Jacksonville, Florida, US


Evie_Wolfe wrote:
I am looking for models to boost my portfolio (fine so far), but since so many of you models are so stuck up you dont answer any message someone told me I have to pay (no-one responding, huh? Seem to be a little more upset than any grown man should be over a couple of unanswered messages, especially for a business proposition), so I want your rates, and if your a stuck up b***h (I blanked the word, not him) and dont pm me back I will put you on my flake list to show everyone I know so you better message back
(Name omitted)

What an absolute darling. I'd love to work with him someday. If his court mandated anger management courses aren't taking up too much of his time.

Jan 08 13 08:07 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jordan L Duncan
Posts: 207
Jacksonville, Florida, US


Art of the nude wrote:
One model showed me a FIRST message she got.  Nothing exactly inappropriate, but it just went ON and ON.  Like, maybe 10 double spaced pages of text.  I mean, I say WAY too much, and ramble a lot, but nothing like that.  EVER.

This has happened to me twice. Another time I called a photographer and he kept me on the phone for 3 hours telling me all these ideas he had and things I needed to know before shooting, and then never followed up with me about a date and location. I think he was just lonely and wanted to talk to someone!

Jan 08 13 08:34 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jordan L Duncan
Posts: 207
Jacksonville, Florida, US


Anna Adrielle wrote:

hahaha, those are hilarious :p

I wonder if we are being contacted by the same person! I've only gotten one penis picture message and he used a Miller Lite can!

Jan 08 13 08:36 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Jordan L Duncan
Posts: 207
Jacksonville, Florida, US


Top Level Studio wrote:

I'm wondering what the proper penis pic protocol is?

Do you send the image directly, or do you send a link to your page of artfully lit and posed penises?

I wouldn't want to do anything inappropriate, right?

Should be fine as long as they are all black and white.

Jan 08 13 08:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Silverstone Productions
Posts: 182
Eugene, Oregon, US


Jordan L Duncan wrote:

Should be fine as long as they are all black and white.

What about all of us brown people? We want to show our packages too!  wink

Jan 08 13 09:00 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
show echo
Posts: 1
New York, New York, US


A photographer once contacted me offering two versions of a paid nude shoot. One would be for about 100 dollars and be a typical shoot. The other would be an "overnight" shoot in which we would get "hands on" (to put it mildly) for an extra 200 dollars. I reported him and he got banned.
Jan 11 13 01:38 pm  Link  Quote 
Makeup Artist
Magnolia Beauty
Posts: 56
Summerville, South Carolina, US


A designer contacted me once and was like "i'm in this turning point in my life and want to capture this by being photographed running naked through the streets. " Lol i sent em my rates and got a reply "i am looking for tfp though, thanks"
Jan 11 13 02:02 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
dhp
Posts: 111
San Francisco, California, US


Ophelia Eko wrote:
A photographer once contacted me offering two versions of a paid nude shoot. One would be for about 100 dollars and be a typical shoot. The other would be an "overnight" shoot in which we would get "hands on" (to put it mildly) for an extra 200 dollars. I reported him and he got banned.

yikes! that's nuts...

Jan 11 13 02:14 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Art of the nude
Posts: 11,864
Olivet, Michigan, US


Magnolia Beauty wrote:
A designer contacted me once and was like "i'm in this turning point in my life and want to capture this by being photographed running naked through the streets. " Lol i sent em my rates and got a reply "i am looking for tfp though, thanks"

If you were a photographer, this MIGHT have worked, it could be fun images.

But what possible use would a MUA have for such images?

Jan 13 13 06:22 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Michael Gaffney
Posts: 48
Salt Lake City, Utah, US


dhp wrote:
With all the threads about non-responders I was curious to know what the strangest/funniest initial contact that some models have gotten from photographers who are requesting to shoot with them?

Go!

Here is one,


I luv yer lookie, my mama just baught mE a camra and must youz it to shot preti gurls....   I like gurls .... sPecillay whan they get nakid.   I luv you allretty, u make mE tikley inside. 



.        Right soone,

Cletus Ogeltree

Jan 13 13 06:29 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
GER Photography
Posts: 7,750
Imperial, California, US


I was asked to do a shoot while getting a lap dance at the Platinum Cabaret in Yuma, AZ, does that count?:-))
Jan 13 13 06:29 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
reni rush
Posts: 282
Carbon Hill, Alabama, US


dhp wrote:
ha! wow. I guess i fail at googling.

OMG!!! funniest thing EVER!

Not the google fail but the product....the heeldo.

Jan 13 13 06:40 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Sedition
Posts: 273
Buffalo, New York, US


George Ruge wrote:
I was asked to do a shoot while getting a lap dance at the Platinum Cabaret in Yuma, AZ, does that count?:-))

Yeah, I noticed that strippers always want to shoot once you tell them you are a photographer... I need to go more than twice a year...

Jan 14 13 04:31 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
KonstantKarma
Posts: 2,513
Hickory, North Carolina, US


Michael Gaffney wrote:

Here is one,


I luv yer lookie, my mama just baught mE a camra and must youz it to shot preti gurls....   I like gurls .... sPecillay whan they get nakid.   I luv you allretty, u make mE tikley inside. 



.        Right soone,

Cletus Ogeltree

I lol'd.

Jan 14 13 05:22 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SPierce Photography
Posts: 19,660
Amherst, Massachusetts, US


I recently got approached with an offer for a free massage (uhhh, yeah) and some weed if I take nude photos for a guy. I said no- his response was that he will please me and is well hung lol The first- and weirdest- thing i've come across. NO THANKS!

Thank the heavens he didn't send me any penis pictures!
Jan 14 13 05:35 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 171
Rochester, New York, US


MelissaAnn  wrote:
I would have to go back pretty far to find the weirdest ones, but here's a few from the more recent past:

Hi! how are you? what do you think we work future?

If you are and can work in LA. ,I ll be happy to talk to you.

Would love to have my way with you...

I fucking love your images, lets shoot!

You know, if you had just pasted these in the "no replies from models" thread, we'd have all understood right away and it would have saved us all a LOT of time!  big_smile big_smile

Jan 14 13 07:13 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 171
Rochester, New York, US


KonstantKarma wrote:

Hopefully it's long enough to hold all the characters.

So this guy and his wife are walking on a nude beach in Jamaica, and a local man approaches them.  The guy notices that the local man's penis has a "W Y" tattooed on it.  They guy says, "Hey, I see you have a 'W Y' tatooed on your penis! So do I, see?" And it's true, he does!

The guy says to the local, "When it's erect, it says "W E N D Y", which is my wife's name. Does yours say "W E N D Y" too?

"No, sir.  Mine says, "WELCOME TO JAMAICA, MON, HAVE A NICE DAY!"

I'm here all week.  smile

Jan 14 13 07:20 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SPierce Photography
Posts: 19,660
Amherst, Massachusetts, US


FiveOne November wrote:

So this guy and his wife are walking on a nude beach in Jamaica, and a local man approaches them.  The guy notices that the local man's penis has a "W Y" tattooed on it.  They guy says, "Hey, I see you have a 'W Y' tatooed on your penis! So do I, see?" And it's true, he does!

The guy says to the local, "When it's erect, it says "W E N D Y", which is my wife's name. Does yours say "W E N D Y" too?

"No, sir.  Mine says, "WELCOME TO JAMAICA, MON, HAVE A NICE DAY!"

I'm here all week.  smile

lol

Jan 14 13 07:41 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Lola Magdalene Scott
Posts: 79
Lexington, Kentucky, US


I just want to thank you..I so needed a good laugh this morning!!
Jan 14 13 07:46 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Fine Wine
Posts: 226
Orange, California, US


I had replied to a casting call for an artistic nude shoot. After some communication I was asked if "I would mind having fake cum on my breast".  I was assured the picture would still be classy and artistic. Yeah right...nothing says class and artistic like fake cum.


That is not my style so I didn't do the shoot.
Jan 14 13 07:58 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
KonstantKarma
Posts: 2,513
Hickory, North Carolina, US


FiveOne November wrote:

So this guy and his wife are walking on a nude beach in Jamaica, and a local man approaches them.  The guy notices that the local man's penis has a "W Y" tattooed on it.  They guy says, "Hey, I see you have a 'W Y' tatooed on your penis! So do I, see?" And it's true, he does!

The guy says to the local, "When it's erect, it says "W E N D Y", which is my wife's name. Does yours say "W E N D Y" too?

"No, sir.  Mine says, "WELCOME TO JAMAICA, MON, HAVE A NICE DAY!"

I'm here all week.  smile

Kudos. lol

Jan 14 13 08:18 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Lily Darling
Posts: 1,299
Lansing, Michigan, US


I just had a photographer that wanted to see pictures of all my shoes... Me wearing them. It wasnt even for a fetish shoot. Yeahhhhh no. Thankfully that's the weirdest I've had.
Jan 14 13 08:28 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Agent Kitty
Posts: 3
Ithaca, New York, US


I got a message that simply stated

"I want to shoot something like this"

With a link to his profile. There were only two pictures and one was a closeup of guy holding a girls vagina wide open!

...classy
Jan 14 13 09:16 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
FiveOne November
Posts: 171
Rochester, New York, US


Agent Kitty wrote:
I got a message that simply stated

"I want to shoot something like this"

With a link to his profile. There were only two pictures and one was a closeup of guy holding a girls vagina wide open!

...classy

At least there was no ambiguity! smile

Jan 14 13 09:23 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
KonstantKarma
Posts: 2,513
Hickory, North Carolina, US


Agent Kitty wrote:
I got a message that simply stated

"I want to shoot something like this"

With a link to his profile. There were only two pictures and one was a closeup of guy holding a girls vagina wide open!

...classy

lmao! "And this is the uterus." lol

You're beautiful, I will say that. wink

Jan 14 13 10:51 am  Link  Quote 
Model
V for Victory Modeling
Posts: 436
Roseville, California, US


Been recently trying to plan a shoot with this guy for over a month...no name, no cell #or any other info besides MM. Wanted to shoot yesterday, I accepted the time and asked him to confirm and gave him my cell....no response, no shoot.
Jan 14 13 11:32 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Lily Darling
Posts: 1,299
Lansing, Michigan, US


vbabe wrote:
Been recently trying to plan a shoot with this guy for over a month...no name, no cell #or any other info besides MM. Wanted to shoot yesterday, I accepted the time and asked him to confirm and gave him my cell....no response, no shoot.

Tis not weird, tis normal for most

Jan 14 13 03:22 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Jessie Rand
Posts: 42
Sacramento, California, US


I have two stories.

I was picking a model up from her house and while I was in the drive way she was skateboarding out of the garage to my truck. She lost her balance and fell on the ground, lifted up her arm and it was BROKEN!! like gross broken. she got up and back inside, tried calling her and waited for like 5 minutes and then drove off.


Second.
I was talking with a model through text after messaging her and figuring stuff out. It was the night of my brothers birthday and she asked what I was doing. She then invited herself to the bar we were at, got shit faced and then kept texting me how "bad she wanted to do me"
I never talked to her again.
Jan 15 13 05:52 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Venessa Baez
Posts: 616
Tampa, Florida, US


Hey, you're hot
Jan 15 13 06:03 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Jessie Rand
Posts: 42
Sacramento, California, US


HAHAHA
Jan 15 13 09:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ArtisticGlamour
Posts: 3,846
Phoenix, Arizona, US


Supermodel Photographer wrote:
Was that from Ronald McDonald himself?
IDiivil wrote:
Yep. Penis pics here too. Even a can held up against said penis for, what I assume, was size reference.

They say you can tell a lot from the feet...
http://i1103.photobucket.com/albums/g461/TyPortfolio/clownshoes.jpg

Jan 16 13 03:19 pm  Link  Quote 
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