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What you think vs. what you say
I recently wrote a blog post about this, reminiscing about the many times someone has said something at a shoot and I've wanted to reply in a certain way, but didn't, for the sake of politeness and possible future work. Here are a few that I remembered, and feel free to add your own (both llamas and photographers!): Photographer: "Wow, your feet are really dirty." What I thought: "If you swept the floor in your studio once in a while, maybe I wouldn't be trudging through a sand dune worth of dirt." What I said: "Oh, you're right, let me go get a baby wipe and clean up." Photographer: "Is this all the wardrobe you brought?" What I thought: "Yes, and if I tried to fit anything else in this suitcase, it would weigh more than a small African elephant, and I would need servants to lift it into my car. If you want different wardrobe, go buy some, you cheapskate." What I said: "Yes, this is all I could carry, but I'm sure we can create a good look out of this selection." Photographer (after saying he wanted a natural makeup look): "It's missing something. Do you have any bright red lipstick?" What I thought: "Oh, by natural, you meant you wanted me naked. Let me go get my clown makeup, and those giant fake eyelashes that feel like bags of cement on my eyelids." What I said: "Sure, I have tons of colors. Want to pick one from my palette?" Photographer: "I want you to imagine the most sensual experience you ever had, so the images can be genuine and visceral." What I thought: "What was on my shopping list again? Oh, right, bananas! I like bananas." What I said: "I'm going to a very personal place right now." (This, as a side note, is absolutely true. What can be more personal than a grocery list?) Photographer: "Wow, that's amazing! I can tell that you're not faking the sexuality in these images. See what happens when you trust me? Those visualization techniques that my photography class told me to use really work." Photographer (in an email, after the shoot): "Here are some images that I took from our last shoot together. I hope you like them!" What I thought: "Lord of all that is holy...how on earth did he make me look chubby? And where did that filter come from that made everything over saturated AND flat? Who would want to use that? Why?!" What I said: "Thank you very much for taking the time to send these images to me. I always learn something from looking back at past shoots." Yeah, like we are never doing a trade shoot. Ever. Jan 10 13 04:54 pm Link keep in mind that some of us can see right through you when you say that stuff (at least in person) but maybe we're too polite to say anything. tone of voice, body language says a lot. we feel what we feel but we don't always have to say everything that's on our mind. some people are brutally honest but maybe they don't wind up having many friends. lol. women are always saying "tell me how you are feeling" honestly ladies maybe you're better off not knowing! Jan 10 13 05:00 pm Link twoharts wrote: Haha, you're right, sometimes we have to be careful what we wish for... Jan 10 13 05:02 pm Link heheheheh Jan 10 13 05:06 pm Link If I were to say 10% of what I think... I wouldn't have any friends. Jan 10 13 05:07 pm Link Ivan Galaviz - Photo wrote: I'm not advocating that we suddenly start saying everything we think. I just think the discrepancy can sometimes be humorous. Jan 10 13 05:15 pm Link Emily Hayworth wrote: I hope for the sake of that they don't read your blog. Jan 10 13 05:19 pm Link Lumatic wrote: LOL. What a class act. I don't blame people for hating escorts when I hear about stuff like that. Jan 10 13 05:24 pm Link 
Photographer Posts: 4288 Amundsen-Scott - permanent station of the US, Unclaimed Sector, Antarctica apologies to all. Jan 10 13 05:25 pm Link Emily Hayworth wrote: Heh, yep, that is a plus. And the discrepancy can definitely make you laugh. Jan 10 13 05:29 pm Link salvatori. wrote: No, I think she's both thinking and saying that a lot of photographers need to think a bit more before opening their mouths!! Jan 10 13 05:30 pm Link salvatori. wrote: No, absolutely not. I'm always the first person to say that 99% of my experiences as a model have been good. Jan 10 13 05:30 pm Link  my dear sweet granny always said "if'n ya cain't say sumpin' nice, don't say nuttin' at all". So I always try to shut the hell up at shoots.  Jan 10 13 05:31 pm Link lol those were funny!!! sometimes i want to say something when photographers are constantly critiquing me while shooting and try to help me out by saying "if you want to be a professional model you have to..." i just wanna be like "dude, i'm 5'6 and fat and don't shoot nudes, i only do this to have pretty pictures to post on facebook and show the grandchildren" lol. but i know they are only trying to help me out, so i feel bitchy even thinking that because i do actually appreciate the tips. Jan 10 13 05:47 pm Link Hah! Those made me laugh  Thanks for the pick-me-up! It's true, some people have absolutely no manners, but I think I've come across a few folks who were being deliberately rude on set because they thought they could get away with it. I say I think because I obviously don't know what is going on in their heads, but I guess there are some people who enjoy behaving like that when they are in a position of power. Kind of a bummer really, since everyone works better in a nice environment  Jan 10 13 06:05 pm Link
Photographer Posts: 4288 Amundsen-Scott - permanent station of the US, Unclaimed Sector, Antarctica sorry, didn't mean to stop by. man, i wish i was cool, just once. Jan 10 13 06:06 pm Link I think there are ways of being assertive about what you think and still being polite. One needn't come at the complete destruction of the other. If I were one of those photographers I'd want you to be more authentic. What's the impact of being fake? In the short term, you don't rock the boat and can make some money. In the long term you help to ruin what may have worked out to be a perfectly good relationship because your passivity didn't assist to negotiate change. Also, remember your responses aren't necessarily a reflection of objective reality either. They are colored by your subjectivity, your experiences and assumptions as well. Jan 10 13 06:08 pm Link funny comments..... I have been working with some of my clients for many years and really do enjoy them. I once thought about sending out a HOW AM I DOING.....questionnaire to clients but I'm not sure I want to know what they really think! LOL Jan 10 13 06:09 pm Link Jackson frontier photos wrote: Absolutely true. I recognize that no matter how valid the question or comment (coming from the photographer), my internal dialogue shifts with my mood, and could be entirely colored by the fact that I had to get up at 6 am for the shoot, my hair wasn't doing what I wanted, etc etc. That's why I always respond politely, no matter how I actually feel. Jan 10 13 06:18 pm Link Emily Hayworth wrote: Unless you are into that sort of thing. Now what's your first thought about that comment? Go ahead, tell me. :-) Jan 10 13 06:31 pm Link Jackson frontier photos wrote: I was wondering if you have a hobbit foot fetish! Jan 10 13 06:34 pm Link Joking aside, I had a client who walked into my office once and said, "your hair looks like shit today." First thing she said. This was a very trouble young lady but what she said was in some ways healthier than my socially refined coworkers who may well have walked around all day thinking it, telling each other, but never having the integrity to tell me directly. I smiled and thanked her for being real. Jan 10 13 06:38 pm Link we break out the baby wipes if the model has dirty feet, especially if it's a foot fetish shoot where she'll be sucking on her own feet. Emily Hayworth wrote: Jan 10 13 06:43 pm Link twoharts wrote: I always bring my own baby wipes for my feet. It drives me nuts when the bottom shows in pictures, and it's all black. Jan 10 13 06:45 pm Link Absolutely, in any business there are times when you must say something polite when what you are thinking is anything BUT polite. Yours are pretty funny. (By the way, I am amazed that anything so pretty or interesting exists in Banning, I have judged the place wrong apparently) Sometimes I think of clients who are throwing a $50k+ party and want me to adjust my rates downward by $200. What I SAY is, "I'll look at my budget, and see what I can do" what I THINK is "You cheap SOB, you will spend more than that getting a crappy pedicure this week, that money was going to pay my groceries next week!" Jan 10 13 06:47 pm Link Friends and coworkers think I am really funny. But, I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking. Jan 10 13 07:04 pm Link Ivan Galaviz - Photo wrote: +101010101010 Jan 10 13 07:11 pm Link Emily Hayworth wrote: If I said any of those things and the model fired back with the responses that you were thinking, I think I would immediately fall in love lol. Jan 10 13 07:22 pm Link Nate Wood wrote: I absolutely LOVE this lol. Maybe because it rings so true for me. I used to be a morning show dj and had a gf tell me "You're not funny...you're just mean." Saw right through me lol. Jan 10 13 07:24 pm Link Emily Hayworth wrote: It's a great invention until I go ask a cashier where they keep the Flavored Baby Wipes because I don't like the taste of baby wipe juice and Chris Hansen and the entire cast of To Catch A Predator roll up to my house. Jan 10 13 07:27 pm Link Michael Pandolfo wrote: Yeah most of my relationships with women I have dated start out with them thinking I am funny. They almost always end with them saying you aren't funny you are just a asshole...lol I always warn them but they never listen... Jan 10 13 07:38 pm Link Michael Pandolfo wrote: We call it Wal-Mart feet where I'm from. Jan 10 13 09:35 pm Link Yes - just as with men and women in the real world we photographers and models have to indulge one another's (hopefully) occasional pettiness and fantasy view of reality Jan 10 13 09:53 pm Link Funny post I just hope when model look happy about the pictures I give them after the shoot they dont really hate them. Let the photographe know if you dont like the picture so he can improve Jan 11 13 01:44 am Link Emily Hayworth wrote: ~ 80 percent of this is a "men vs women-problem"...;-) Photographer: "Is this all the wardrobe you brought?" Exactly the same. A photographer wants to have some information regarding the outfits you bring and you feel assaulted for shortcoming... Photographer (in an email, after the shoot): "Here are some images that I took from our last shoot together. I hope you like them!" That's simpy the risk of doing Tf... Nothing to do with communication or that men/women-stuff. Jan 11 13 04:19 am Link twoharts wrote: "Tell me how you are feeling honestly" coming out of the mouth of a woman means nothing less then "Tell me how you are feeling honestly". Jan 11 13 04:43 am Link Lol the personal experience one. No. Joke. I will pee myself in excitement the day all photographers ever stop trying to direct my emotions on a shoot. "Try and look sad" instead of "I want you to think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you, really feel it, get into that moment. Oh I can tell you're miserable right now." Oh yeah, buddy, we really went somewhere together. Jan 11 13 07:07 am Link what's the point in keeping your thoughts for yourself when you're going to write them down for everyone to read later on anyway? Jan 11 13 07:16 am Link ^^^^  That's good! "Really went somewhere...." ROFLMAO Jan 11 13 07:17 am Link Yes, the voices in my head can be horrifically judgmental, so they must be be kept inside!:-)))) Jan 11 13 07:22 am Link |
