A-M-P wrote:
So I have a problem with my oldest child he was already retained in kindergarten and now they want to retain him in first grade again he is already 8 years old and in first grade that would make him 9 years old and in first grade if I was to sign off on this retention. Honestly I do not think this is  the best thing for my child but that's what the teachers want to do.

I don't understand why not instead they move him to a special need class instead of continually retaining him every year after year. He was diagnosed with Attention deficit disorder  he is not hyper but his mind does wander off and he has trouble understanding instructions he seems to learn by seeing instead of hearing he is well behave he just needs more 1 on 1 time in school.

What do you think about teachers only throwing the retention card around instead of actually trying to help the child it cannot be healthy for him to be retain in every grade and how is  retaining a child two- three years in a row even an option is beyond me so if next year he is still behind  do they just  retain him and never move him up instead of  moving him to a special needs class where they can give him the 1 on 1 he actually needs. I need opinions


I mean all his reports cards showing satisfactory and all of the sudden the teacher says they want to retain him I did not even know he was doing bad academically this year in school as it was never mention before this semester I was thinking that he had catch up but now 1 month before school is over they throwing this bomb on me.


I'm just confused

Not saying you are in the wrong here, but it is virtually impossible today for a public school teacher to spend a lot of one on one time with kids dioagnosed with ADD/ADHD when in fact not too long ago no one ever heard of ADD/ADHD and your child was merely being bad or not paying attention in class.
The first thing, before blaming the teachers, is to actually take a look at how much one on one time you spend with the child.
Do you spend time with him at home while he is supposed to be doing his homework, or do you just ask him if his homework is done?
Teachers used to be able to control children who misbehaved or did not pay attention in class, but since the innovation of the ADD/ADHD label, even the slightest reprimand from a teacher is grounds for a lawsuit from a parent.
I can assure you of one thing. If your teacher is recommending that your child be retained, it is not because she wants him back in her class next year not paying attention then either.
Rather than placing the blame on the, yes overworked, public school teacher, most parents today should actually look at themselves, and how much time and how much discipline they themselves mete out.
Many parents today, because of work and social lives, tend to think it is the job of the teacher to raise their kids, as well as educate them, while they just sit aside and complain when the teacher has no alternative but to retain a child that cannot be controlled in a class environment.
Ever sit in a restaurant and watch some child, with its parents, jump all over the booth, run around, raise continuous ruckus, and wonder where his school teacher is?
It really makes no difference whether a child is retained in kindergarden/first grade, if that child is not properly disciplined at home he will continue his actions throughout life using the ADD/ADHD/BiPolar excuse.

A-M-P wrote:
I don't understand why not instead they move him to a special need class instead of continually retaining him every year after year.

teachers are not gods are they?

it's YOUR child, and you as his mother feel it may be better for him to move him to a special need class. so why don't YOU find him a special need class? you are not obliged to do what the teacher tells you.

GeorgeMann wrote:
Not saying you are in the wrong here, but it is virtually impossible today for a public school teacher to spend a lot of one on one time with kids dioagnosed with ADD/ADHD when in fact not too long ago no one ever heard of ADD/ADHD and your child was merely being bad or not paying attention in class.
The first thing, before blaming the teachers, is to actually take a look at how much one on one time you spend with the child.
Do you spend time with him at home while he is supposed to be doing his homework, or do you just ask him if his homework is done?
Teachers used to be able to control children who misbehaved or did not pay attention in class, but since the innovation of the ADD/ADHD label, even the slightest reprimand from a teacher is grounds for a lawsuit from a parent.
I can assure you of one thing. If your teacher is recommending that your child be retained, it is not because she wants him back in her class next year not paying attention then either.
Rather than placing the blame on the, yes overworked, public school teacher, most parents today should actually look at themselves, and how much time and how much discipline they themselves mete out.

No, no, and no. If the child has a diagnosis of ADD, the child is disabled. Therefore the child gets a 504 plan. Therefore the teacher and the school does what the plan says.

If the plan says the child only learns by having the teacher stand upside down and sing the lesson, then the teacher is legally obligated to stand upside down and sing. If the teacher doesn't like it or isn't prepared for that, the teacher should go get another job. That's the law.

If the teacher can't teach, that's not the kids' problem.

If the kid needs a 1 on 1 aid, the kid gets it. It's that simple.

Sometimes it is as easy as allowing the child to stand up if they get antsy. Sometimes it is moving the kid to the front row to avoid distractions. Sometimes it is getting additional help. It is what the doctor says.

Also, if the diagnosis is ADD, it is illegal to use behavior in grading. You can't take 5 points off because the kid can't sit still.

With ADD, the problem isn't the kid. The problem is the school.

The best quote I've ever heard is that ADD isn't what you have, it is who you are. Once you accept it, it's a different experience.

GeorgeMann wrote:

Not saying you are in the wrong here, but it is virtually impossible today for a public school teacher to spend a lot of one on one time with kids dioagnosed with ADD/ADHD when in fact not too long ago no one ever heard of ADD/ADHD and your child was merely being bad or not paying attention in class.

No....by other names, ADD has been around for decades, and those have been recognized for decades.

ArtisticPhotography wrote:

No, no, and no. If the child has a diagnosis of ADD, the child is disabled. Therefore the child gets a 504 plan. Therefore the teacher and the school does what the plan says.

If the plan says the child only learns by having the teacher stand upside down and sing the lesson, then the teacher is legally obligated to stand upside down and sing. If the teacher doesn't like it or isn't prepared for that, the teacher should go get another job. That's the law.

If the teacher can't teach, that's not the kids' problem.

If the kid needs a 1 on 1 aid, the kid gets it. It's that simple.

Sometimes it is as easy as allowing the child to stand up if they get antsy. Sometimes it is moving the kid to the front row to avoid distractions. Sometimes it is getting additional help. It is what the doctor says.

Also, if the diagnosis is ADD, it is illegal to use behavior in grading. You can't take 5 points off because the kid can't sit still.

With ADD, the problem isn't the kid. The problem is the school.

The best quote I've ever heard is that ADD isn't what you have, it is who you are. Once you accept it, it's a different experience.

Actually having 2 children one with Central Auditory Processing Disorder & ADHD (Diagnosed by the School) and the other with ADD, they both have IEP's to start with.  504's are only used when they don't meet criteria for an IEP but still require some sort of extra help.  Like my oldest with the CAPD and ADHD she is graduating, we did NOT hold her back.  She does really well and it was caught extremely early, she tested out of her IEP, so we (we as in me and her teachers along with the principal and special ed instructors) set up a 504 plan.  She can get extra help during a test in the Resource room, Extra time for assignments if needed, among other things.

My son tested out of his IEP in our old school but once we got to the new school he was really struggling.  So we set up a 504 plan.  Finally I got him back into an IEP about 6 months later after I bitched a fit to have him tested again.

The school has a standardized test, they can't "screw you" or the child over with it.  These tests are used every where in the US, even the specialists you are going to go see- they use the same testing books the school does.

ArtisticPhotography wrote:
No, no, and no. If the child has a diagnosis of ADD, the child is disabled. Therefore the child gets a 504 plan. Therefore the teacher and the school does what the plan says.

If the plan says the child only learns by having the teacher stand upside down and sing the lesson, then the teacher is legally obligated to stand upside down and sing. If the teacher doesn't like it or isn't prepared for that, the teacher should go get another job. That's the law.

If the teacher can't teach, that's not the kids' problem.

If the kid needs a 1 on 1 aid, the kid gets it. It's that simple.

Sometimes it is as easy as allowing the child to stand up if they get antsy. Sometimes it is moving the kid to the front row to avoid distractions. Sometimes it is getting additional help. It is what the doctor says.

Also, if the diagnosis is ADD, it is illegal to use behavior in grading. You can't take 5 points off because the kid can't sit still.

With ADD, the problem isn't the kid. The problem is the school.

The best quote I've ever heard is that ADD isn't what you have, it is who you are. Once you accept it, it's a different experience.

WOW!!! I think you should read up on the Laws of public education.

Fergy wrote:

Actually having 2 children one with Central Auditory Processing Disorder & ADHD (Diagnosed by the School) and the other with ADD, they both have IEP's to start with.  504's are only used when they don't meet criteria for an IEP but still require some sort of extra help.  Like my oldest with the CAPD and ADHD she is graduating, we did NOT hold her back.  She does really well and it was caught extremely early, she tested out of her IEP, so we (we as in me and her teachers along with the principal and special ed instructors) set up a 504 plan.  She can get extra help during a test in the Resource room, Extra time for assignments if needed, among other things.

My son tested out of his IEP in our old school but once we got to the new school he was really struggling.  So we set up a 504 plan.  Finally I got him back into an IEP about 6 months later after I bitched a fit to have him tested again.

The school has a standardized test, they can't "screw you" or the child over with it.  These tests are used every where in the US, even the specialists you are going to go see- they use the same testing books the school does.

This is a parent that gets involved with her child, the school, and the special ed program.
Kudos

GeorgeMann wrote:
Not saying you are in the wrong here, but it is virtually impossible today for a public school teacher to spend a lot of one on one time with kids dioagnosed with ADD/ADHD when in fact not too long ago no one ever heard of ADD/ADHD and your child was merely being bad or not paying attention in class.
The first thing, before blaming the teachers, is to actually take a look at how much one on one time you spend with the child.
Do you spend time with him at home while he is supposed to be doing his homework, or do you just ask him if his homework is done?
Teachers used to be able to control children who misbehaved or did not pay attention in class, but since the innovation of the ADD/ADHD label, even the slightest reprimand from a teacher is grounds for a lawsuit from a parent.
I can assure you of one thing. If your teacher is recommending that your child be retained, it is not because she wants him back in her class next year not paying attention then either.
Rather than placing the blame on the, yes overworked, public school teacher, most parents today should actually look at themselves, and how much time and how much discipline they themselves mete out.
Many parents today, because of work and social lives, tend to think it is the job of the teacher to raise their kids, as well as educate them, while they just sit aside and complain when the teacher has no alternative but to retain a child that cannot be controlled in a class environment.
Ever sit in a restaurant and watch some child, with its parents, jump all over the booth, run around, raise continuous ruckus, and wonder where his school teacher is?
It really makes no difference whether a child is retained in kindergarden/first grade, if that child is not properly disciplined at home he will continue his actions throughout life using the ADD/ADHD/BiPolar excuse.

My child does not have behavior problems he does not interrupt class he has ADD not ADHD he sits in the chair and his mind wonders off  as in you can be talking to him and he will stare at you and not understand what you want him to do. What discipline you want me to give my child when he is not misbehaving he is just sitting there my child barely even talks  he just sits in a corner with his mind wondering I think you are generalizing that all ADD children have behavior problems when that is not the case. I do not get letters from school or anything about behavior just about learning and not understanding assignments.


His pediatrician diagnosed him with ADD because he was incapable of understanding instructions and would not understand what was being asked of him not because he misbehaved or was hyper we though our child was autistic at some point he was not tested for autism  as the pediatrician just wrote him down for being ADD because he would be confuse when told simple instructions my child is not hyper he is actually the opposite from hyper he can sit in a corner all day and you not even hear him or know he is even in the same room.


I do spend 2 hours doing homework after school everyday I taught that he was doing well all year as all report cards showed satisfactory but apparently it seems that's not the case.

Sorry I posted from my other profile I am the OP

Anna Adrielle wrote:

teachers are not gods are they?

it's YOUR child, and you as his mother feel it may be better for him to move him to a special need class. so why don't YOU find him a special need class? you are not obliged to do what the teacher tells you.

My child goes to public school I can only go by what the school will allow me to do. I did asked if it was possible to move him to a special needs class.

ArtisticPhotography wrote:
Okay, I'm going to say a few things that are not politically correct, but they are true.

First off, the school is not your friend. The are out for their own good, not the good of you or your child.

Second, they are thinking about grade 3 testing. That's all that matters. They want your child delayed so he (sorry if she's a she) does better then. This is a result of standardized testing. It's that simple.

Third, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES let the school test your child. You don't want them to have any testing or psychological information. They will use it against you. You want to control the information.

Fourth, I'm tired for writing numbers.

Go find a Board Certified Developmental Pediatrician. Travel if you must, but find one. They understand kids, schools, etc. and no one will argue with them. Don't settle for less. Let them do the testing and make all diagnosis. That doctor is your friend.

Have your Board Certified Developmental Pediatrician write a letter to the school that discloses only what you want disclosed. It should specify that it should be the basis of a 504 plan. If anyone at the school gives you any shit, ask them if they have an MD. When they say, "no", you say "Then we'll do what the doctor says". No one else can made a diagnosis.

Get a 504 plan in place and get it done NOW. That's what your kid needs. It's horrible that your school isn't suggesting it. It is unlikely that your child needs a "special class". You need a STRONG 504 plan and to force the school to stick to it.

If your BCDP suggests medications, it is probably a good idea.

PM me if you must. But get a diagnosis NOW and get a 504 plan in place.

Just out of curiosity, you said your child has ADD. Who made the diagnosis Was it a doctor? Was that information transmitted to the school? If so, it could be the basis of a 504 plan until you can get to a specialist.

Get to a specialist. This is your child's life you are dealing with.

This is the OP on my other profile


The doctor diagnosed him when he was 5 years old with ADD. He also had  early intervention since he was a toddler because he was not developing at his age level such as he started walking at 30 months old and didn't have basic motor skills for his age after he grew older he was diagnosed with ADD by a pediatrician.

Angela Perez wrote:

This is the OP on my other profile


The doctor diagnosed him when he was 5 years old with ADD. He also had  early intervention since he was a toddler because he was not developing at his age level such as he started walking at 30 months old and didn't have basic motor skills for his age after he grew older he was diagnosed with ADD by a pediatrician.

I'm sorry but your pediatrician should NEVER just "diagnose" your child with ADD.  Especially with the other issues he was having.  He should have been diagnosed by a specialist (or the school who have specialists- psychologists, physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists....working for them).  Just because he didn't understand what he was instructed it doesn't make him ADD.  My daughter didn't understand directions given.  She was 3 1/2 when she was diagnosed with CAPD- very early!!  She also didn't understand directions when given, almost acted like she was ignoring you constantly...among other things. 

My pediatrician was given a huge write up of all the testing my kids have gone through.  Its an interesting read, especially the testing they use etc.. That was the only way I would ever let anyone #1 medicate my child or #2 give my child a diagnosis without something backing it.

GeorgeMann wrote:

This is a parent that gets involved with her child, the school, and the special ed program.
Kudos

Thanks!  Its been a lot of work, and lol so many tears.  Kelsey has worked her butt off for everything and is graduating this month.  She starts college this fall also.