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first12
Photographer
KennyDG
Posts: 15
Katy, Texas, US


Wow, if you have fixed your spelling and grammar, then it is still atrocious. You come off as uneducated and possibly hard to communicate with as it is now.
Jul 12 13 06:10 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Jerry Nemeth
Posts: 26,730
Dearborn, Michigan, US


sweet gamine wrote:
I have looked through your website and it is pretty much your profile bio word for word - complete with the spelling errors.
I recommend removing all exclamation marks.

Your rates are high.
$200. an hour for nudes is double what many very experienced art models charge.
This doesn't mean that you do not have the right to ask for that amount, just know that you are pricing yourself out of the market.

This is true.  I regularly shoot models for half your rate.

Jul 12 13 07:02 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
SPRINGHEEL
Posts: 38,004
Gibraltar, Michigan, US


"suddle"


lol
Jul 12 13 07:21 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Click Hamilton
Posts: 34,133
San Diego, California, US


SPRINGHEEL  wrote:
"suddle"


lol

Her spelling is more logical than subtle, but it's still the biggest distraction.

Otherwise, I find her intro to be upbeat and approachable.


EDIT: life would be so much easier if the spelling of that word was changed to suddle.

The noun should be suddle-T.

Who was it that f'd up our language by making it "subtlety"??? That guy should be fired.

Jul 12 13 07:33 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Timothy Bell
Posts: 402
North Richland Hills, Texas, US


Camabs wrote:
Finally I think your profile pic isn't the best pic from your pf by far. I would suggest this one:
http://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/130612/14/51b8e98863996_m.jpg

Completely agree.

Jul 12 13 08:50 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
C h a r l e s D
Posts: 9,304
Los Angeles, California, US


Your profile wording is now fine, but you've got a few typos and grammatical errors to fix.

"Theirs not much i wont do in modeling"
Change to "There's not much I won't ..."  Capitalize the second "i" and add an apostrophe to won't.

"I do nude but it has to be very suddle and natural."
Change suddle to subtle.

"Im always taking the critics and improving my self."

"I'm, with an apostrophe, and critics to critiques.  And, I'd also change my self to myself. 

"I love to model, i am comfortable with my body and into all types of modeling."   
Change to, "I love to model.  I am comfortable with my body and I'm into all types of modeling."

"I love almost all style anything from sporty to Gothic."
Change to "I love almost all styles.  Anything from sporty to gothic."  Make it two sentences, and don't capitalize gothic, or "I love almost all styles, from sporty to gothic.  If you want one sentence, take out "anything."  Either way is fine.

"I am happy to do non-nude TF to expand my portfolio, let me know some ideas and lets make art."
Change to "I am happy to do non-nude TF to expand my portfolio.  Let me know some ideas and let's make art."  Make it two sentences, and add an apostrophe to "let's."

"I am very individual..."
"I am an individual...," or possibly, "I am very much an individual...."

One more slight problem.  I'm a film shooter.  You may wish to change the word "film" to "video."  Not all film creates movies.

I'd work with you, but $25.00 per hour is a more appropriate amount at your level of experience.  Consider doing some TF nudes with a fabulous photographer.
Jul 12 13 08:55 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Click Hamilton
Posts: 34,133
San Diego, California, US


^ Good copy writing (writing ad copy) is always very important.

It helps define who we are in the eyes of the public. It's how we capture interest and motivate people to respond.

Everyone seriously needs this as part of their general education:

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+ … =firefox-a
Jul 12 13 09:39 am  Link  Quote 
Model
Hakky Watkins
Posts: 1
Newark, New Jersey, US


Can I Get Feedback on my profile I am new, I will return Thnx smile
Jul 12 13 12:56 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Orca Bay Images
Posts: 32,233
Lodi, California, US


Hakky Watkins wrote:
Can I Get Feedback on my profile I am new, I will return Thnx smile

Open your own thread.

Jul 12 13 01:03 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Nogawd Photography
Posts: 92
Cleveland, Ohio, US


Your look would make me debate working with you.  Literally everything else says "run like hell".
Jul 14 13 05:50 am  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Swank Photography
Posts: 18,977
Key West, Florida, US


Linsey_Marie wrote:
I want to be firm on what i will and wont do but i dont want it to sound rude. Also the way my profile looks, any ideas on things i could change. I want to be noticed and i want photographer to want me.
I am not talking about my photos i am talking about my profile the first thing they see, what do you think?
Also my website, feel free to check that out and critique me on that to smile

This is your profile: "Hello, my name is Linsey.
I have been modeling for a while now and i love it! Always looking to shoot
with great photographers as often as possible. I am happy to do non-nude Trade for CD. I only work with experienced photographers so please no ametures. If you want to book me for nude keep in mind, i do not do porn or x rated video. Im really friendly and easy to work with but i do stand my ground when it comes to certain things. Other than video and porn i am up for just about anything; I love fashion, art, lingerie, very subtle and natural nude like you see in my port. I am never out of ideas but i like to try those things with photographers who can book body painters, hair stylist's and make up artist's.

I recently had to re-upload alot of my photos and i deleted a bunch, all comment appreciated and i will try to return as many as possible smile

Check out my website for rates and more.

Please note i do not travel, if traveling is expected all expenses must be covered. Otherwise photographers in the vancouver/portland area only please"

* You spelled amateur wrong.

* You fail to use complete sentences.

* The fact that you consistently use "I" reaks of lack of grammar and education.

* "Im" needs a " ' " in between the I and M

* No need to make a capital "T" in trade in sentence.

Overall while I know where you are trying to go...this reaks of amateur model trying to sound falsely polite and shows lack of education.

My advice? Re-do from top to bottom. Be honest, clear and concise.

Steer clear of slangs' too.

If you need, write your stuff on your laptop first and use the grammar button & spelling button prior to copying everything over to your profile.

Remember the key here is that you must use your profile as the fish on the hook to gain everyone's attention & interest.

Best of luck to you smile

Also...not for nothing...but if you want help then ask smile

Any of the models can assist you in putting together a kick ass profile smile

Jul 16 13 06:58 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Square Jaw Photography
Posts: 345
Odenton, Maryland, US


I gotta say, I do like the revamping you've done. Your Website and Bio are much more professional and I love the new avi. I still wouldn't pay $150 for a nude shoot, much less $80 for lingerie, but if you can get business with those prices then power to you.

One more critique; The photo of you in the flannel shirt and lingerie that you have posted next to your rates on the website. I think it's HORRIBLE. It's washed out, your eyes and lips look way too dark, and your legs and skin need complete retouching and skin tone matched. The pose and facial expression look forced. I'd throw that one away.
Jul 16 13 07:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Swank Photography
Posts: 18,977
Key West, Florida, US


Elizabeta Rosandic wrote:
First and foremost, check your spelling and grammar. There are a lot of mistakes, and that can be extremely off-putting to people. Proper spelling and grammar is more professional.

Secondly, people like bullets. They make things easy to read.

Next, here's the formula that I think would be good to use to revamp your profile:

A brief introduction- tell people who you are and where you are.

About you:
-Your appearance- any tattoos, piercings, body hair, etc.
-What kind of transportation you use to get to shoots.
-Any skill sets you may have that would be handy for modeling.
-What genres you want to shoot.

Your work habits:
-Your TF policy.
-Info on your limits (aka, things you won't shoot).
-Any other kind of modeling you do (runway, video, or posing for artists).

Finally, make note of the best way to get in touch with you.

Edit: Just looked through your portfolio, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop editing photographer's work and putting your own watermark on it!

Edit 2: Your rates are ridiculous. I live in NYC, where everything costs more, and I charge a fraction of what you're asking for nudes.

OP PLEASE for the love of god take this young lady's advice. Trust me on this.

What she is saying is spot on.

Jul 16 13 07:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Swank Photography
Posts: 18,977
Key West, Florida, US


Linsey_Marie wrote:
THANKS FOR THE HELP, I HAVE A GOOD IDEA OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK NOW.
IN THE END I WILL DO WHAT I WANT FOR INSTANCE IM NOT GONNA DO PORN WELL THAT REALLY NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, ITS NOT MY THING AND THERES PLEANTY OF MODELS THAT DONT DO THAT SO IF YOU THINK IN ORDER TO BE A MODEL NO LIMITS YOUR RETARDED :]  BUT I WILL MAYBE PROJECT IT BETTER.
IM CLOSING THIS CONVERSATION
DONE REPLYING

S.M.H. Wow. Ok best of luck to you kid.

Jul 16 13 07:48 pm  Link  Quote 
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