Anna Adrielle wrote:
... the majority of women I know don't like being told they are beautiful ... It's usually awkward, or there's a catch, or they're embarassed. And models are some of the most insecure people I know. They don't think they're these gorgeous creatures, and saying "wow you're beautiful" doesn't mean a lot to them...

I've noticed that typically, the more attractive the woman, the more insecure she is.
If they don't think they're attractive, then what are they doing modeling?

Will you please explain this paradox?

255 West wrote:

I've noticed that typically, the more attractive the woman, the more insecure she is.
If they don't think they're attractive, then what are they doing modeling?

Will you please explain this paradox?

for the sake of art
for a nice experience
to meet people
to gain more confidence
because they accidentally stumbled into it and found out they really loved it
to get away from reality for a bit
for the money
...

in my case, it was because I was told I wasn't photogenic and I wanted to learn how I could be. Then after the first shoot I just fell madly in love with modeling. It has helped with self-acceptance and insecurities as well (though I'm still insecure, it's definitely a lot better). I certainly didn't get into it because I thought "omygod I'm so attractive, modeling is just the next logical step".

255 West wrote:
I've noticed that typically, the more attractive the woman, the more insecure she is.

I guess... because you're told so many times, at some point you need it more and more.

Happens with most things and not only with females... are you familiar with Lacan?
Change the adjective:  Smart
If you're told you are smart a lot, your insecurities will be there... am I really smart enough?

Don't you agree?

Anna Adrielle wrote:

lol, wut?

I don't know what kind of women you've been seeing, but the majority of women I know don't like being told they are beautiful (unless it's by a loved one). It's usually awkward, or there's a catch, or they're embarassed. And models are some of the most insecure people I know. They don't think they're these gorgeous creatures, and saying "wow you're beautiful" doesn't mean a lot to them...

QFT.

Strangers tell me daily how attractive I am, but there's almost always a catch... like they want to hook up, go on a date, etc.

It becomes meaningless to be told you're attractive by a stranger because it feels like they're using it as an "in" to a conversation that we don't even want to have.

Having your loved ones tell you? That's completely different. Because they are talking about you... your personality... your talents... your sense of humor.

Having strangers compliment you all the time ends up making one feel like they're just an object and like they don't have brains or heart.

REED Photography wrote:

QFT.

Strangers tell me daily how attractive I am, but there's almost always a catch... like they want to hook up, go on a date, etc.

It becomes meaningless to be told you're attractive by a stranger because it feels like they're using it as an "in" to a conversation that we don't even want to have.

Having your loved ones tell you? That's completely different. Because they are talking about you... your personality... your talents... your sense of humor.

Having strangers compliment you all the time ends up making one feel like they're just an object and like they don't have brains or heart.

^This. All of this.

It's why I got into photography initially, instead of modeling. Because with photography, people talked about/judged me based on the quality of my work with no strings attached. It wasn't used as a flirtation device or an in with friends/family.

Since puberty I got told how attractive I am by various strangers, but like with others it came with a catch. Usually they just wanted a sexual favor. So hearing it doesn't seem genuine anymore. I haven't started believing genuine compliments in regards to my appearance until the last year or so when I got the courage to be in front of the camera again for the first time in years and got positive comments from men and women with no sexual overtones in the slightest.

As for losing friends due to jealousy - I haven't had that. Most of my friends are fairly mature in that sense. But because most of my modeling isn't mainsteam, it's geeky costuming/cosplay I get considered an attention whore or a genuine one a lot by those who hardly know me. It doesn't matter I'm engaged and expecting a kid, because I took a picture in a costume confidently showing off my skills and my body I'm clearly a big ol' ho. But the geek community is full of insecure people who love to make assumptions like that so they can feel better about their own lives.

255 West wrote:

I've noticed that typically, the more attractive the woman, the more insecure she is.
If they don't think they're attractive, then what are they doing modeling?

Will you please explain this paradox?

Insecurity is a complicated thing, not on a linear scale. There can be up and down days. Some can believe themselves to be beautiful but easily be brought down by a negative comment. Some people can shine confidently until someone brings attention to their looks (positively or negatively) and then they lose focus and become self-conscious. Some only think themselves so so but have a tolerance for negative comments, allowing them to be comfortably secure without necessarily thinking a lot of themselves.

I think a lot of models fit in to that last one and it is probably the best way for a model to be.

Natalia_Taffarel wrote:
I guess... because you're told so many times, at some point you need it more and more.

Yes, if people always tell you you are beautiful, you have to wonder, is this the most important thing about me? Is this why people want to be around me? Is this my worth to others? What would happen if I didn't have beauty?

Then bam, suddenly being beautiful just got very important, I mean it must be everyone is always bringing it up, so you have to make sure you are beautiful enough to be worthwhile, you have to make sure you stay beautiful enough, and can anyone ever be beautiful enough? When you look in the mirror do you or anyone see perfection? No? So if that is how you feel your worth is defined you have to start thinking about it. A lot. And the more you think, the more you feel you aren't meeting the mark. And there we have insecurity.

A lot of the most secure people are that way because they feel their looks just aren't important.

Sinead OMara wrote:
I have not modeled yet- but already my mom and dad are pissed that I am trying to pursue it

You have a great look!!   

Antediluvian Design wrote:
To the OP. maybe it has nothing to do with your looks. The person might just not like you for whatever reason. Just sayin.

Truth is, women assess other women on looks first. I don't myself, but I truly believe that is the case.  Ask any jilted ex girlfriend and the first thing they want to know is, "Is she prettier than me?"

It's such an adolescent point of view.

Thing is men and women assess each other with a myriad of factors, not just physical beauty.

Arrogance is not an attractive trait.  If one is not arrogant, yes, a physically beautiful woman can get snarls from women who are not as such.  It can be always a one-upmanship thing; it's old.

I never judged my friends based on their appearance but most of my friends are models, singers, actors, dancers, etc.  The very few I have are very beautiful and talented.  Good people too; I never worry about them making a move on anyone I care for, etc. 

If I'm around anyone that doesn't see me for who I am or makes me feel bad, I don't talk to those people anymore.  If strangers/co-workers/etc. give me a hard time for anything, I just ignore all of that. 

I would think that a Playboy bunny type would get judged more (for possibly being stupid) than a classic beauty type. 

Just my thoughts.

Axioma wrote:
No not really . I'm rather average looking plus I value my personal relationships a lot. And I don't care about the others. That's a pretty conflict-free way of living.

^^ This.

Gianna Virginia wrote:
Have you ever lost friends or have been treated shitty for the way you look due to jealousy or intimidation? Especially by other women.

I learned something you should learn quickly: if you are pretty you should have only equally pretty or prettier friends. Unattractive women do HORRIBLE things to their attractive friends, even put their lives at risk, back stab like crazy, just because they are jealous. Scarcity corrupts.

On the other hand, beautiful women don't care if another woman is also beautiful. I hate to say it but the difference between women who know they are pretty and women who don't is women who are pretty don't obsess about their looks. My friends who are beautiful are confident they can easily get a quality guy if they were looking for one, so they are never out to set my man. Pretty girls think: "Girl friendship is forever, but guys come and go, and there are more guys that want to marry you than you know what to do with."

Unattractive women think: "Most good men are taken and the single ones are hard to find...." followed by,  "OMG, she'll take my man!" or "I'll show that bimbo who has it to easy" or "so few men, I must make her boyfriend hate her and steal him for myself."

I hate to say it, but if you have female friends, never have friends that are less physically attractive than you, or they'll get insecure and backstab you. Always. Pretty girls don't care that you are pretty, think there are plenty of men around so there is no need to be jealous or steal men from you. Pretty girls will trade tips with you on how you can get more attractive.

You can have less attractive friends, but they have to be from a different generation, like a lot older or a lot younger, so the women don't see you as a rival. It's a gut reaction.

But yep, if you look more attractive, either your friends have to catch up or you have to keep an eye on them and ditch them if they back stab you. Every woman can look attractive if she makes an effort. The jealousy is a natural thing. When I was 14, before I became attractive and I had a ton of acne, I got jealous near a pretty girl. When the acne cleared, so did my jealousy of pretty girls. When boys started to notice me, I stopped being jealous. The jealousy and it's sudden end when I got rid of my acne surprised me. It's instinct, deep down.

Stick to beautiful female friends who are secure in themselves enough not to feel they have to fight over guys with you. It often means making new friends who are happy and secure with themselves.

Mariam Mariamti wrote:
blah blah blah nonsense

...if you are pretty you should have only equally pretty or prettier friends. Unattractive women do HORRIBLE things to their attractive friends, even put their lives at risk, back stab like crazy, just because they are jealous. Scarcity corrupts.

Your logic is horribly flawed. You said unattractive people do horrible things to their friends. Yet advocate having prettier friends, which means you in effect, become the unattractive one.

Your suggestion for better friendships, is to be the nottie, in a group of hotties.

Mariam Mariamti wrote:
On the other hand, beautiful women don't care if another woman is also beautiful. I hate to say it but the difference between women who know they are pretty and women who don't is women who are pretty don't obsess about their looks.

You're kidding me right? Is that why attractive people get plastic surgery as they get older? Is that why the pretty girls spend hours doing their hair and make up, and picking the right clothes?

Your understanding of basic human psychology is lul worthy.

I hate to break it to you, but something I learned really early, was the more attractive you are, the more deceitful you are, if an only if your looks matter to you. And if you're pretty, they matter. A lot.

Now, that doesn't mean pretty girls are by default shady. Just means if trivial things like looks and material possessions are the only thing they care about, they will be shady. I have seen some stunningly beautiful women, who don't even realize they are, and they are some of the most caring, loyal people you would know. Because looks aren't their only driving force in life.

But YOUR logic, is just horribly flawed.

Have hotter friends so they won't screw you over? Even though you openly admitted that the unattractive people do horrible things? Makes me wonder what you've done to your hotter friends.

Seriously.

For example, lying about your age is something someone who worries about looks would do, or underage kids trying to get booze. No one else would do it.

Mariam Mariamti wrote:
I learned something you should learn quickly: if you are pretty you should have only equally pretty or prettier friends. Unattractive women do HORRIBLE things to their attractive friends, even put their lives at risk, back stab like crazy, just because they are jealous. Scarcity corrupts.

On the other hand, beautiful women don't care if another woman is also beautiful. I hate to say it but the difference between women who know they are pretty and women who don't is women who are pretty don't obsess about their looks. My friends who are beautiful are confident they can easily get a quality guy if they were looking for one, so they are never out to set my man. Pretty girls think: "Girl friendship is forever, but guys come and go, and there are more guys that want to marry you than you know what to do with."

Unattractive women think: "Most good men are taken and the single ones are hard to find...." followed by,  "OMG, she'll take my man!" or "I'll show that bimbo who has it to easy" or "so few men, I must make her boyfriend hate her and steal him for myself."

I hate to say it, but if you have female friends, never have friends that are less physically attractive than you, or they'll get insecure and backstab you. Always. Pretty girls don't care that you are pretty, think there are plenty of men around so there is no need to be jealous or steal men from you. Pretty girls will trade tips with you on how you can get more attractive.

You can have less attractive friends, but they have to be from a different generation, like a lot older or a lot younger, so the women don't see you as a rival. It's a gut reaction.

But yep, if you look more attractive, either your friends have to catch up or you have to keep an eye on them and ditch them if they back stab you. Every woman can look attractive if she makes an effort. The jealousy is a natural thing. When I was 14, before I became attractive and I had a ton of acne, I got jealous near a pretty girl. When the acne cleared, so did my jealousy of pretty girls. When boys started to notice me, I stopped being jealous. The jealousy and it's sudden end when I got rid of my acne surprised me. It's instinct, deep down.

Stick to beautiful female friends who are secure in themselves enough not to feel they have to fight over guys with you. It often means making new friends who are happy and secure with themselves.

You can't judge by looks but by actions. All my friends aren't in the same group of attractiveness but I wouldn't call any of them ugly either. My friends never got jealous of me and I never got jealous of them. We're all secure enough not to be petty like that. (I've known most of them for years too but even my new friends aren't like that.. Or what would be the point of calling them a friend?)

* Between.. I've seen not so pretty girls be mean but I've also seen pretty girls be just as mean as well. Looks do not define how catty a person is going to be. If you think that if they're pretty they're not going to be mean to you, you need to reassess your point of view.

* My friends are also the ones that pushed me into modeling and are always saying with pride that they are glad they did so.

SPRINGHEEL  wrote:
I'm one of the prettiest men on the planet


No wonder I don't have friends

You are awesome.
Just sayin

Erlinda wrote:
Women get judge by their looks no matter if they are a model or not. I walk down the street a chick will give me a dirty look, I'm in the grocery store a women will hit my cart give me an evil eye and pinch,push,poke, or slap her lover for looking at me. I am at a pub and a woman will step on my food look at me and not say sorry.

Women are catty beings. Sometimes it has to do with your looks sometimes it has to do with their looks. At the end of the day, I don't hold my breath and I don't overly think about it. I just move on and carry on about my business.

people actually do that ? wow...
I can honestly say that I've never been mean to a woman just because she's attractive. Maybe for other reasons :p. But I have no idea why someone would go "oh look, a pretty girl! Let's give her a push with my elbow, gnagnagna"

Anna Adrielle wrote:

people actually do that ? wow...
I can honestly say that I've never been mean to a woman just because she's attractive. Maybe for other reasons :p. But I have no idea why someone would go "oh look, a pretty girl! Let's give her a push with my elbow, gnagnagna"

Well it's usually the younger girls that give me the evil eye while I walk down the street lol... And the grocery store thing only happened because her lover was drooling and couldn't stop staring at me. So she was pissed and took it out on me.

It doesn't happen every day don't get me wrong, but it does happen.

Erlinda wrote:
I am at a pub and a woman will step on my food look at me and not say sorry.

what, do they get up on your table to do that? that's pretty damn overt!

nyk fury wrote:

what, do they get up on your table to do that? that's pretty damn overt!

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha that's was awesome.

I meant foot

Erlinda wrote:

Well it's usually the younger girls that give me the evil eye while I walk down the street lol... And the grocery store thing only happened because her lover was drooling and couldn't stop staring at me. So she was pissed and took it out on me.

It doesn't happen every day don't get me wrong, but it does happen.

well, in their defense, you are exceptionally gorgeous

Anna Adrielle wrote:

well, in their defense, you are exceptionally gorgeous

No I'm not.... Ever day life, I'm a complete tomboy that wears baggy jeans and hoodies. I don't dress up to go to the grocery store LOL

Erlinda wrote:

No I'm not.... Ever day life, I'm a complete tomboy that wears baggy jeans and hoodies. I don't dress up to go to the grocery store LOL

it's all about bonestructure :p

Brittany Waldron wrote:
I have, but also by some photographers. I had a baby and still have my baby pouch. Its not bad at all but im not super skinny either. I look average and yet im judged by it.

It's never good to be a model and look average. The point people are called models is because they look/have something that "average" people don't have.

I have a pouch and I didn't even have a kid Don't worry about it!

Erlinda wrote:

It's never good to be a model and look average. The point people are called models is because they look/have something that "average" people don't have.

I have a pouch and I didn't even have a kid

true, but beautystandards for everyday people and beautystandards for models can vary sometimes . I can think of several women who are stunning models, but would be considered ugly or at the very least strangelooking in everyday life

Erlinda wrote:

It's never good to be a model and look average. The point people are called models is because they look/have something that "average" people don't have.

I have a pouch and I didn't even have a kid Don't worry about it!

Weight wise i ment lol. I dont think i look like the average person. But that does make me feel better haha.

P I X I E wrote:

Yes, for dabbling into fetish and nude work. That one model then told my then boyfriend that I was doing porn. She also did nude work, but she was beyond all the stigmata because her work was art and mine wasn't.

Stigmata are Christ's wounds.