I'm Matt and I absolutely love life. I have never been a typical bloke, more of a Beta Male as russell howard would say, but I am an Aries; full of spontaneity, good humour, passion, and devilish good looks ;-)  Should I have gone to specsavers....

I would describe myself as  slightly off the wall, passionate, cheeky, a good mate, random, unafraid of looking like a plonker, a big kid who can occassionally stamp their feet and throw my toys out of the pram but then laugh at myself afterwards.

I have just graduated into the fine world of counselling after many years chasing my dreams of acting. When I say chasing I mean going from one audition to the next, landing a few parts but never making it big and almost always getting paid pittance which you then have to find normal work which will pay for your board and lodging.

If anyone is thinking of becoming an actor or film star then my advice is dont... unless you have the kiss ass skills of a social chameleon, Michael winners address book and the financial purse of the entire arabian economy.

Examples of normal work I used to do...

Bartending

Theatre usher

Tea boy

Care assistant

Mental Health worker

Retail management- I only got this one because I could rollerblade...Not a normal requirement but this was Hamleys toy store.


Things I absolutely love:-


Indie music, Festivals, Laughter, Sambuca!, Theatre, musicals, Portishead, exploring, being creative, spontaneity, Performing, dancing, and my friends.

Favourite comedians

Eddie Izzard

Michael Mcintyre

Russell Howard

Dara O briain

Ricky Gervais

Russell Brand

Peter Kay

Jimmy Carr

Bill Bailey


I am also a father to a wonderful 2 and a half year old son.

And now a joke....


The other night a woman was invited out for a night with the girls. She promised her husband that she would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Just before 3 a.m., a bit loaded, she headed for home.

Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another nine times. She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning her husband asked her what time she got in and she told him "Midnight." He didn't seem angry at all. "Phew! Got away with that one!" She thought.

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When she asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh ****," cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted!"

Tags

See All Tags (1)