Deacon Blues wrote:
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , all Kentuckians, Tennesseans AND West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.  She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"
- She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY"
- She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" 
-She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION                    SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND"
- She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5. She does not "NAG" you
- She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER"
- She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT"
- He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"
- He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"
- He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" 
- He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

6. it's not his "CRACK" you see peeking out of his pants
- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE".

Now all they need to do is figure a way for the LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY to comfortably spoon the PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.

- Phil H - wrote:

Now all they need to do is figure a way for the LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY to comfortably spoon the PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.

Deacon Blues wrote:
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , all Kentuckians, Tennesseans AND West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.  She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"
- She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY"
- She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" 
-She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION                    SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND"
- She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5. She does not "NAG" you
- She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER"
- She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT"
- He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"
- He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"
- He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" 
- He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

6. it's not his "CRACK" you see peeking out of his pants
- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE".

This is all you can find to do on your BIRTHDAY?

Newstart Photography wrote:

This is all you can find to do on your BIRTHDAY?

i'm waiting for it to be 5 o'clock somewhere. 

Jellokittie wrote:
I'm horizontally accessible!

Ummm... I'm accessible in a number of other directions, too...

means nothing without pics

Deacon Blues wrote:

i'm waiting for it to be 5 o'clock somewhere. 

It's nearly 9.00pm here . . . . need any further reason?

- Phil H - wrote:

It's nearly 9.00pm here . . . . need any further reason?

nope *cracks beer*  i just needed a little push - thanks for that Phil!!!

Jellokittie wrote:
I'm horizontally accessible!

Ummm... I'm accessible in a number of other directions, too...

start driving north then.  bring your bass.  we'll get naked and look at each other's "axes".