Dreams To Keep wrote:
Here is a personal truth I discovered about suicide many years ago - once you seriously decide to kill yourself, you no longer have to go through with it because ALL other options now become open.

In debt? Leave town.  Hate your family - desert them, you're gonna leave them behind anyway.  Lousy job - go join a circus.  See?  You always have the final option to do yourself in later if ALL the other options don't work.

None of the seriously depressed folks I've known hated anyone; it took way too much energy. Joining a circus? too much work--frequently even getting out of bed was too much work.

I know one person who believes the only reason he hadn't committed suicide was that all the pills and razors were in the bathroom, and it was too much effort to get up. Given that he was found in bed and apparently had been there for roughly a week (dehydration, starvation, excrement, urine), I'm inclined to believe him.

Having more options sounds like a great situation; logically it should help. Sadly, it doesn't; more options is frequently seen as more stress because more decisions have to be made.

Lousy job; hating your family or spouse; broke; etc. are all situational rather than chronic conditions. Your observation may work for the non-depressed suicidals, but they're by far in the minority.

LarryB wrote:
I think it's a perfectly acceptable solution.  If I had any balls I'd do it while my wife is young enough to find someone that would make her happy.

Oh My God!!  I could quote each and every one of you here, but just the above now for it's the last one that made my heart drop......
There are so many avenues of perception to take with this subject as with any aspect of life I suppose.
First I must say the raw, extremely exposed emotion here is really something, something special.. It's nice to see this sharing..

"Selfish and Cowardice"? I don't know about those words, but' disillusioned & fearful,' perhaps.
Then we have examples of internal wisdom of the tribal member or animal species knowing of internal illness or incapability to serve their community any longer from old age will naturally go off into the wilderness to lay themselves down. 
The choice to leave because of extreme mental anguish or illness, severe burden placed on loved ones by a disabled existance,, I don't know, how could I damn any of this.   Yet I still find it hard to understand and fully accept suicide when so many people of this world have fought and are currently fighting for thier lives under extreme suppression or torcher by social, family, or political oppressors! People have lived through the most horrific experiances of war , famine, rape, and mutilation, losing families and villages, holocausts! and fought to keep their life. But here in America kids leave themselves because tests or peer pressures are too tough.   
Life is so crazy, but I believe it's in it's every essence worth living!!

Louis Braga wrote:
Shooting naked chiks is the best way I find... to stay away from depression

Amen, brother!

Angel Tara wrote:
I'm not really here people. Remember i quit, and am out hunting with the VP of the US.

But I read something in another thread, and it went something along the lines of "if you hate your life that much, end it."

Without reading the thread, perhaps the statement ment to change it. End the current way of life and thinking and create a new one. Ending may not always mean what some might immediatly suspect. Possible????

I know through the years my life has ended numerous times. But I am still here. I hope Im making sense.

But I think there are circumstances where self termination is warranted. In the case of extreme illness that will not allow an individual to end their lives with dignity. i.e: Terminal cancer, AIDS. Things like that.

My personal thinking however is that those who kill themselves over a break up or tough times are cowards. They do not have the stregnth to push through just like everyone else who sticks around does. They want to take the easy way out. And that I think is cowardly. But then that might just be me.

DJTalStudios wrote:

Without reading the thread, perhaps the statement ment to change it. End the current way of life and thinking and create a new one. Ending may not always mean what some might immediatly suspect. Possible????

I know through the years my life has ended numerous times. But I am still here. I hope Im making sense.

But I think there are circumstances where self termination is warranted. In the case of extreme illness that will not allow an individual to end their lives with dignity. i.e: Terminal cancer, AIDS. Things like that.

My personal thinking however is that those who kill themselves over a break up or tough times are cowards. They do not have the stregnth to push through just like everyone else who sticks around does. They want to take the easy way out. And that I think is cowardly. But then that might just be me.

I don't mean to pick on whoever said that in the other thread. In fact, I don't remember who it was, although it would be easy enough to go look. That person may have posted in this thread, I don't know.

I would just hate for someone to throw something out there like that, and have the wrong person read it, and take the advice.

LarryB wrote:
I think it's a perfectly acceptable solution.  If I had any balls I'd do it while my wife is young enough to find someone that would make her happy.

It's no ones JOB to make ANYONE happy. It's each individual's job to be happy in themselves everyone else simply adds to it.

And why do that when there is this thing called Divorce that is running rampant in society today?

Angel Tara wrote:
I would just hate for someone to throw something out there like that, and have the wrong person read it, and take the advice.

That could be REALLY bad. As yes it could be taken as what was stated here. And then Tyler would then get sued by the family, it would be total mayhem.

But life is full of ups and downs. Twists and turns. Strong people go with it and push through. Cowards and the weak run and hide or end their lives. Sure there are those who are mentally unstable, and depression is a mother fucker. We ALL deal with it at some point or another in our lives. But that is the key. DEAL with it directly. Take an offensive posture on life and kick it square in the balls.

I've heard the My boyfriend broke up with me Im gonna kill myself. (Went to highschool with a girl who did just that.) I got a C on my test. Everyone hates me Im going to kill myself.... Give me a freaking BREAK!

Im dying of a terrible illness that is eating away my body. I am in chronic pain, soon enough I will lose all control and be in a vegitative state thus burdening those I care about I think I will end it on MY terms....  Enter Jack Kervorkian(sp) I think what he does is great work. Allow people to die with dignity.

But just that general whoa is me nothing is working the way I want it to thing just pisses me off. Want to kill yourself over that. Here's the 50 caliber and a 210 grain hollowpoint do it in the shower so its easy to clean up and get on with it so that the rest of us can get on with OUR own miserable lives.

That actually stopped someone I knew from doing it. Like someone said how funny when faced with it things change. But those are the "Crying out" people. The dangerous ones don't usually talk about it.

BasementStudios wrote:
I think a person has the right to die if they ar terminal and there is absolutely no cure for them, that person deserves to die with diginity.

Beyond that, IMHO, suicide is the cowards way out.  There is not a single person anywhere on earth that does not face tragic, life shattering events.  At 22, my son of 11 months, choked and was brain dead, he had enough functioning to keep his heart beating.  A month later, he turned a year old, three months later, he died.  My marriage ended a few months later because of the depression and bitterness we both held in our hearts.  Two months later, my brother was killed in a car accident.  In a 10 month period my world was destroyed.  You just go on, you get up every day with the most remote hope, desire, longing or whatever for a better day, but you just go on.  No matter what I went through in those in those 10 months, there was someone out there going through far more.  It's too easy to put a gun to your head, or take pills or whatever, that takes absolutely no guts, it's facing life that takes courage.  I've had friends and a family member that commited suicide, I love them, I miss them but I honestly feel they were cowards.

Im feeling you on this one...

The question of suicide is best left a question. IMO With all I've been through I only stick around just to see what will happen next. And funny just when I think it can't get any worse... IT DOES! And just when I think it can't get any better..... Something WONDERFUL happens.

Angel Tara wrote:
I'm not really here people. Remember i quit, and am out hunting with the VP of the US.

But I read something in another thread, and it went something along the lines of "if you hate your life that much, end it."

That's not cool to me. But it got me to thinking that I do not remember suicide being discussed around here. "I" do not remember it...so if I am wrong, please forgive me.

Years ago, I used to live in Ak. I had a friend who told me that people who commit suicide are SELFISH. As someone who struggles with my own personal battles, I thought this was a bit shortsighted. Selfish yes, to a certain extent. But there is so much more going on.

So, let's discuss...

Yea truthfully I have found God and have looked for help a long time ago because I also had issue within myself...I have also done a lot fo research and done a lot of papers for psychology discussing the behavior of those who are suicidal. People who think that this is a habit of people being selfish is wrong...IT IS NOT...Suicide can occur from many things...no matter how many people you ahve on your side who love you and also who are helping you doesnt matter...I was living in a black hole my boyfriend had tried to help...my mother didnnt know about my self thoughts....I had always thought about it because I thought that it was the only way out of all this stress, drama and strife....But i had learned on my own that it was not the way because there are so many more people who are worse off than i am....so what if i dont have all the things that i want...and things bad happend one day after the other...i had learned that i can always pick myself up and move on..unfortunately a lot of teens and adults dont have this strength and we cannot be blind to this issue....I think it would help if people educated themseleves with the signs of suicide/cutting and also educate themselevs of how some people develop this train of thought so they wont be soo ignorant to people who deal with this....

Grey Forest Productions wrote:
in japan, suicide is a quite socially acceptable way
to die, and been a part of their culture for centuries.

very good point. Just goes to show that our way isn't necessarily the right way. There is no right or wrong answer.

Grey Forest Productions wrote:
in japan, suicide is a quite socially acceptable way
to die, and been a part of their culture for centuries.

Usually only when one disgraces themselves their family their jobs. Not because life gets tough. They seem to have a higher level of honor in their culture.

Grey Forest Productions wrote:
In the US, News agencies are forbidden to print the
suicide rate of American teens.  Rates are much higher
in areas and countries with unpleasant weather and
social problems.

Seattle is the #1 city in the US for suicides because of the weather last I read. London is the #1 in the world. Something about the chemicals the sun causes our brain to manufacture to keep us upbeat and happy. Endorphins I think it is.

I think they SHOULD publish those rates. We're so weak in this country it's not even funny. If they published those rates then MAYBE we'd see that there MIGHT just be a problem. But teen suicide was all the rage in the mid 80's. LOTS of talk about it and resources for parents to detect potential suicidal tendancies in their children. One of which. Your child wears black. LMAO

Grey Forest Productions wrote:
Catholics use it as a blockade to heaven,
Muslims use it as a way to heaven... it's really all just a point of view.

Hell, a minute before I die, I'm gonna convert to Muslim
and get my 101 virgins....

... but I was wondering, maybe the reason they are still virgins
is because they're the ugly ones    ?

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die. And they probably are the ones you might not find attractive. I mean after all they are virgins. Or maybe given how society is these days maybe they're all like infants still?

CristinaLex wrote:

Yea truthfully I have found God and have looked for help a long time ago because I also had issue within myself...I have also done a lot fo research and done a lot of papers for psychology discussing the behavior of those who are suicidal. People who think that this is a habit of people being selfish is wrong...IT IS NOT...Suicide can occur from many things...no matter how many people you ahve on your side who love you and also who are helping you doesnt matter...I was living in a black hole my boyfriend had tried to help...my mother didnnt know about my self thoughts....I had always thought about it because I thought that it was the only way out of all this stress, drama and strife....But i had learned on my own that it was not the way because there are so many more people who are worse off than i am....so what if i dont have all the things that i want...and things bad happend one day after the other...i had learned that i can always pick myself up and move on..unfortunately a lot of teens and adults dont have this strength and we cannot be blind to this issue....I think it would help if people educated themseleves with the signs of suicide/cutting and also educate themselevs of how some people develop this train of thought so they wont be soo ignorant to people who deal with this....

Thank you for sharing. You bring up cutting, which is good, because I bet a lot of people don't even know it happens.

I know some of you do...so don't get offended MM'ers.

CristinaLex wrote:
Yea truthfully I have found God

I will never understand the reason that people seek outside sources like "God" for something that is within ALL of us naturally.

CristinaLex wrote:
People who think that this is a habit of people being selfish is wrong...IT IS NOT...Suicide can occur from many things...no matter how many people you ahve on your side who love you and also who are helping you doesnt matter...

Doesn't make it any less a selfish act in OUR society. "It's all about ME!" That is the society we live in.

CristinaLex wrote:
I was living in a black hole my boyfriend had tried to help...my mother didnnt know about my self thoughts....I had always thought about it because I thought that it was the only way out of all this stress, drama and strife....But i had learned on my own that it was not the way because there are so many more people who are worse off than i am....

I used to cry because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no feet. Great outlook. But you transcended the it's all about me nonsense as it regards to yourself and your personal sitch.

CristinaLex wrote:
so what if i dont have all the things that i want...and things bad happend one day after the other...i had learned that i can always pick myself up and move on..unfortunately a lot of teens and adults dont have this strength and we cannot be blind to this issue....

Beautiful thing about LIFE is that while one is alive they still have the opportunity to get the things they want. And is life really about the destination or is it about the Journey. I find the journey to be way fun. The destination is the same for ALL of us so why not enjoy the journey.

CristinaLex wrote:
I think it would help if people educated themseleves with the signs of suicide/cutting and also educate themselevs of how some people develop this train of thought so they wont be soo ignorant to people who deal with this....

Some of us actually have. And still see it as bottom line SELFISH. It seems that in many cases even in instances of chronic painful illness people seek justification for doing it. But it still doesn't make it less selfish. I know when this cancer comes for me I wont let IT take me. I will go on my own terms, period end. This year is my second birthday. (From when the doctor told me I only had 6 - 8 months left. I laughed at him and said OK, so this means I'll actually have to lay down now?)

In the instance of Japan. Kill yourself because you dishonored yourself? OK I TOTALLY understand that and I sometimes wish more people in the states were that way. But the reality of the situation is if you're dead then there is NO chance for redemption. No way to fix the mistake. That way you don't have any work to do to correct your mistake. And guess what it's still selfish!

Regardless of the reasons, excuses,circumstances, suicide is a SELFISH act.

DJTalStudios wrote:
[
Some of us actually have. And still see it as bottom line SELFISH. It seems that in many cases even in instances of chronic painful illness people seek justification for doing it. But it still doesn't make it less selfish. I know when this cancer comes for me I wont let IT take me. I will go on my own terms, period end. This year is my second birthday. (From when the doctor told me I only had 6 - 8 months left. I laughed at him and said OK, so this means I'll actually have to lay down now?)

In the instance of Japan. Kill yourself because you dishonored yourself? OK I TOTALLY understand that and I sometimes wish more people in the states were that way. But the reality of the situation is if you're dead then there is NO chance for redemption. No way to fix the mistake. That way you don't have any work to do to correct your mistake. And guess what it's still selfish!

Regardless of the reasons, excuses,circumstances, suicide is a SELFISH act.

ok ok....w/e....you and many others still see suicide as SELFISH....and even though it is a terrible way to live through things..who said i was living for my mother, my father,m my boyfriend and for any one else who deems this selfish....who said i was on earth for anyone...not sayin that this should be done..but suicide is not a selfish act...it a serious mental disturbance and a lot of people who have this problem should seek help...

If someone choose to not be here then thats them...right or wrong...but no one is on this earth to live for another person..so if anyone says that suicide is selfish than they are the ones who are selfish and thinking only of them selves and not trying to help that person in need...

another reason for someone to run around with depression..."I wanna end it all but if I do, then everyone would think I am selfish, O, what am I to do"  "live or die"....

I wish people shut the fuck up about this selfish shyt....you go through life with the fact that every thing you do isnt working out or you seem to have no possible end to a solution...Sweety I was really serioously HOOMELESS before i got on my feet....so SHUT THE FUCK UP about this SELFISH SHYT....

AND IF I WANNA BELIEVE THAT GOD DID HELP ME OUTTA THIS THAN HE DID AND I THANK HIM FOR IT...WHO EVER ANY ONE BELEIVES IN, WHETHER THIERSELVES OR SOME HIGHER BEING HELPED THEM THROUGH THIER SITUATION SO BE IT...BUT DONT SPRING THAT BULL SHYT ON ANY ONE TELLING PEOPLE..ITS NATURALLY WITH IN YOU...LET PEOPLE BELIEVE WHATEVER THEY WANT AS LONG AS IT HELPED THEM THROUGH A TERRIBLE TIME IN THEIR LIVES...


and for that Japan thing..I think it is sick to kill yourself because you dishoner your family....personally I think..Pick yourself up..FUCK your family at time...they are not always right with the world either and keeping it moving....Suicide is sad either way...to kill your self because you want to and to kill yourself because "others" say you dishonered them...thisis a sick and sad world sometimes...everyone is not built like a tiger....

CristinaLex wrote:
ok ok....w/e....you and many others still see suicide as SELFISH....and even though it is a terrible way to live through things..who said i was living for my mother, my father,m my boyfriend and for any one else who deems this selfish....who said i was on earth for anyone...not sayin that this should be done..but suicide is not a selfish act...it a serious mental disturbance and a lot of people who have this problem should seek help...

Doesn't change the fact that it is the ultimate selfish act in most cases done without regard to the people left behind to deal with the loss. It's not a matter of living for someone else. It's the fact of the matter that an action like that affects others directly as was mentioned earlier. So how can you not think it isn't a selfish act?

CristinaLex wrote:
If someone choose to not be here then thats them...right or wrong...but no one is on this earth to live for another person..so if anyone says that suicide is selfish than they are the ones who are selfish and thinking only of them selves and not trying to help that person in need...

Even with all the help in the world some still do it. Wouldn't you say that was selfish? I don't like wasting my time I have better things to do so if someone wants to kill themselves then get on with it so that I can go on with my day.

CristinaLex wrote:
another reason for someone to run around with depression..."I wanna end it all but if I do, then everyone would think I am selfish, O, what am I to do"  "live or die"....

Oh boo fuckin hoo.... How about tomorrow is another day and all sorts of different things can happen. There is one sure thing about tomorrow. The sun WILL rise with or without you. The Earth will still be spinning. So why not stick around and see what things are still waiting. It can't rain ALL the time.... (Unless you're in Seattle.)

CristinaLex wrote:
I wish people shut the fuck up about this selfish shyt....you go through life with the fact that every thing you do isnt working out or you seem to have no possible end to a solution...Sweety I was really serioously HOOMELESS before i got on my feet....so SHUT THE FUCK UP about this SELFISH SHYT....

What makes you think that some of us haven't? Boo hoo shit fucked up in your life! Boo fucking hoo that you were homeless. You weren't the only one that this has happened to. But the fact is that you apparently got your shit together. And things have turned out different. Life is FULL of ups and downs get over it. Suck it up and drive on.

CristinaLex wrote:
AND IF I WANNA BELIEVE THAT GOD DID HELP ME OUTTA THIS THAN HE DID AND I THANK HIM FOR IT...WHO EVER ANY ONE BELEIVES IN, WHETHER THIERSELVES OR SOME HIGHER BEING HELPED THEM THROUGH THIER SITUATION SO BE IT...BUT DONT SPRING THAT BULL SHYT ON ANY ONE TELLING PEOPLE..ITS NATURALLY WITH IN YOU...LET PEOPLE BELIEVE WHATEVER THEY WANT AS LONG AS IT HELPED THEM THROUGH A TERRIBLE TIME IN THEIR LIVES...

Good for you. If that's what you need to get through the day to rely on the power of someone other than yourself then so be it. Whatever it takes. And personally I don't give a shit what people believe as long as it doesn't affect me or what Im doing. When people's belief in their "GOD" affects my choices then we're gonna have a MAJOR problem.

CristinaLex wrote:
and for that Japan thing..I think it is sick to kill yourself because you dishoner your family....personally I think..Pick yourself up..FUCK your family at time...they are not always right with the world either and keeping it moving....Suicide is sad either way...to kill your self because you want to and to kill yourself because "others" say you dishonered them...thisis a sick and sad world sometimes...everyone is not built like a tiger....

So because things go wrong in someone's life nothing is working out in that moment in time it's ok to consider suicide. But doing something to dishonor oneself is a bad reason? OK got it.

You're right about ONE thing so far and that is it's a sad world when honor is something to be laughed at and treated lightly. I choose death before dishonor any day of the week and twice on Sunday. But then I guess that is a warrior's code. Another word people today don't seem to understand.

The thing however you miss in the culture and traditions of Japan is that they pretty much live with a higher expectation of right and wrong. Over there a word like HONOR has TRUE meaning and Value. HONOR above all else. If they give their word they follow through on it! If they do something to disgrace themselves or their family then the penalty is DEATH.... Now there's some serious motivation to bring your A game.

But even then it's SELFISH! It's the "all about ME" mentality. Regardless of the situation leading up to the thinking of actually doing it.

Merlinpix wrote:
I'm a bit too concrete to consider suicide for myself for stupid reasons.
In the military I stood ready to avoid capture with this method however.
I've know folks that have killed themselves, most recently Claressa Doll  in LV. I liked her and I'm sad that's she's gone, but I don't understand the motivations that drove her to it.

My  idea of commiting suicide is: how do I get the person who is pissing me off to do it.

Paul

LOL.... yeah there are SOME people who I WISH would do it.... Hell there are a LOT of people I wish would do it. Call it natural selection... LOL

Katalina Daer wrote:
You all may think you know who you would react if something like it were happening to you, but until you are in that headspace you can't possibly contemplate what goes on.

You wouldn't know WHAT we have been through now would you? Still doesnt change the fact that it is the ulitmate selfish act.

Katalina Daer wrote:
You all may think you know who you would react if something like it were happening to you, but until you are in that headspace you can't possibly contemplate what goes on.

Saying ALL is generalizing.  Some of us do know, I know exactly what I would, the exact same thing I did whe I went through all my trials, get up and go on living.  Ithought about suicide, not a pain in this world compares to losing a child, I've lost parents, grandparents, a brother and friends and they all hurt, but to lose a child, a part of your soul dies that you never recover from, you just learn how to live with it, or die with it if you choose the cowardly deed.  I found him, he was under my care, I thought about killing myself, went so far as to have the sleeping pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other, then it dawned on me how stupid and cowardly I was being, that I wasn't the first to lose a son, others lost children and they survived it.  You get up every day and move on a little more, until one day you realize, you made it.  You made it through the dark and through the storm.  Scarred, tired but stronger and more resiliant, able to stand the next battle a little stronger.

I've been in the so called 'headspace' I know how I would react and as it's been pointed out, you have NO idea wat people posting here have been through.  Just because they choose not to share it doesn't mean they haven't been there.

BasementStudios wrote:
I thought about killing myself, went so far as to have the sleeping pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other, then it dawned on me how stupid and cowardly I was being, that I wasn't the first to lose a son, others lost children and they survived it.

And in your case I have learned that that person can not live on if we do not.

BasementStudios wrote:
Beyond that, IMHO, suicide is the cowards way out.  There is not a single person anywhere on earth that does not face tragic, life shattering events.

Were life shattering events the only "reason", your condemnation might have some validity. It's not.

BasementStudios wrote:
You just go on, you get up every day with the most remote hope, desire, longing or whatever for a better day, but you just go on.

As noted earlier, depression robs individuals of both hope and desire. Without either...

DJTalStudios wrote:
Doesn't change the fact that it is the ultimate selfish act in most cases done without regard to the people left behind to deal with the loss. It's not a matter of living for someone else. It's the fact of the matter that an action like that affects others directly as was mentioned earlier. So how can you not think it isn't a selfish act?

Begging the question/circular reasoning. You're basing your claim that suicide is selfish on the "fact" that it's selfish. It's hard to discuss the issue given that approach.

Nevertheless, it's only selfish if you feel it's the responsibility and/or duty of an individual to consider everyone else all their acts affect. Were that the case, no situationally triggered suicides should ever occur, as there would never be a reason for them. We know that isn't the case. Even so, that's still based on a personal belief, not on any objective measure, personal, cultural, or anything else greater than your personal belief. That falls in the category of "opinion".

You can choose to claim it's a "fact" that suicide is selfish as often as you want, and you can believe it as fervently as you want, but neither the statement nor your belief behind it will make it a fact.

Additionally, it doesn't address biochemical issues, which, as has been noted earlier, is the major contributing factor to suicide in this country; situational suicides are pretty rare. So your self-proclaimed fact is further limited to a small subset of those you're condemning across the board.

DJTalStudios wrote:
So why not stick around and see what things are still waiting. It can't rain ALL the time....

Because it doesn't seem worthwhile. If it's "always" been bad, and will "always" be bad, why bother?

Much like fanatics, who see things only in absolutes, and cannot view things from anyone else's perspective, the majority of suicidally depressed individuals perceptions are screwed up. In the most common circumstance, the view is that it has always been that way, and will never change. For those fortunate enough to never having been through it, it's difficult to explain just how thoroughly your mind can fool you.

That the reality is different has little or no effect on the belief. (Anyone who has discussed things with a fanatic knows how this works.)

Kevin Connery wrote:

Mikel Featherston wrote:
They add the additional scarring to whomever finds the body, and depending on the methods used, leave a mess to clean up.

That's why choosing a suitable location is important. Fortunately(?) it took weeks to decide, by which time the episode had passed.

Marcus J. Ranum wrote:
Sometimes, the only thing a person can control in their life is when they end it.

It's certainly often perceived as such, whether it's true or not.

The Thorny Rose wrote:
suicide is not really something someone does for fun... generally they see it as the only way out from their problems... usually, this stems from a chemical imbalance in the brain (just watch all those commercials for anti-depressants)... suicide isn't the same in all cases, so its hard to generalize it... it may be short-sited; others may have planned it for weeks or months...

One of the best short summaries I've seen.

SKPhoto wrote:
But I think suicide is about selfishness and cowardice.  Being to afraid to face the coming day.

Afraid, unwilling, or unable? Projecting one is risky; see Thorny Rose's note above. Your situation is different than many others'; in particular, "My daughter has made any pain, hardship, or loneliness of the last 20 years - worth every second of it. Many others do not have something to make it worthwhile--or, again, perceive it as that way.

area291 wrote:
Even under the darkest of clouds, sunny days are always ahead.

Yet they do not always appear to be so from the inside. An unrelenting depression that's gone on for months or years can easily seem endless, especially since perception and memory are skewed by the condition.


I've known roughly a dozen people who either attempted or succeeded at suicide. Roughly half had been visibly 'down' and depressed for some time; the others showed no symptoms that I saw, even in retrospect.

Some members of each group chose methods with high effectiveness ratings, or used multiple methods (e.g. poison+blood loss).

Just as people are different at their best, so are they different at their lowest.

This is actually true. I was friends with a guy for a short time...about 2 years, and he showed NO signs of depression or suicidal tendencies. However, one day I got a call from my sister telling me to sit down because she had bad news. When she told me that my friend Steve had killed himself with a shotgun, I just couldn't believe it. He was always the happy-go-lucky guy in the group. He was always singing, goofing off. He was always joking around, and everyone loved him. He was an honor student, played the sax wonderfully, and was the sweetest guy you could meet. He was the last person you would expect to commit suicide...but he did. In fact, as of next month, it will have been 7 years that he's been gone. He left behind a sister, mother, father, friends...the list goes one. His funeral was so big, that it ended up being held in gymnasium of the high school he graduated from just a year before he died. I believe his mom said there were over 300 people who attended.

Do I feel it was selfish of him to kill himself? Honestly, a part of me does. I feel that he didn't know how to handle things, and did the only thing he thought he knew of to get out of the situation. At the funeral, another of his friends told me about how he thought Steve was under a lot of pressure at school. In my opinion, he was striving for perfection, and took on too many responsibilities...eventually causing him to break down completely. Had he known where to go for help, I am not sure Steve would have actually gone...a pride issue I guess. A huge part of me still wishes that he had asked someone for help, because then he may still be here with us today. I still feel an emptiness inside without my friend there, but with time, it goes away more. I just feel sad, because I never really got to say goodbye...well, not exactly. The last time I spoke to him, we were practicing the song "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. Now, if you have ever heard that song, you know that it is about friends parting from each other...more than likely to not see one another in this life. Now, this is odd, but two days after Steve died, I had a dream with him in it. He was in a hospital bed, with a bandage on his head. He said that he was being well taken care of, and that I didn't need to worry about him any longer. Before I woke up, I recall him simply saying, "I'll see ya later." Now, I don't know what that dream meant exactly, but to me, it was his way of telling me goodbye. Yeah, it's kooky, but it happened. I still miss him, but for some reason, I feel better knowing that he isn't suffering in this world.

DJTalStudios wrote:
You wouldn't know WHAT we have been through now would you? Still doesnt change the fact that it is the ulitmate selfish act.

I think it is selfish for you to sit here and tell people who have been through this that is it selfish...ur an ASS...bigger than mine ASS....BOO HOO you had cancer, now a days you can get cancer from any where..i know i wasnt the only one who didnt have a home.i didnt say i was but I am not speaking for or talking about anybody else..i am speaking from personal experience.....

like someone said before you will never understand how that person was thinking if you werent in their shoes.....this is someones choice to do this act if they want to do so it is not a very good choice at all but a choice non the less...yes they will be missed...but what any one does on this earth should not be based on what or how anyone else should feel...they will be judge on that day when God is before them, or whoever....it is still a personal choice...just like the right that allows women to abort a fetus or a 5 month old child...it is thier personal choice...you cannot stop fromone from doing it because sooner something bad or extremely bad could go wrong in that persons life..

Even when it has been on the good track...adn can trigger all that emotion from what they left behind before...if someone who didnt have cancer say " i know how you fee" you would look  at them and say "no, you dont". they didnt go through all the testing you probrably went through nor dealt with any bills and or problems that medication have done to your body for you to recover....maybe you were some of the lucky few who overcam letting it take over you...but dont put your half assed ideas on others who have been there...been there for a long time..and know what they are talking about...hell it till could be people on MM who think about it....so i suggest that you shut your mouth...get off the computer...and stop coming in here chopping up everyone's post and telling them how wrong they are and how write you are...friggin jerk

BasementStudios wrote:

Saying ALL is generalizing.  Some of us do know, I know exactly what I would, the exact same thing I did whe I went through all my trials, get up and go on living.  Ithought about suicide, not a pain in this world compares to losing a child, I've lost parents, grandparents, a brother and friends and they all hurt, but to lose a child, a part of your soul dies that you never recover from, you just learn how to live with it, or die with it if you choose the cowardly deed.  I found him, he was under my care, I thought about killing myself, went so far as to have the sleeping pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other, then it dawned on me how stupid and cowardly I was being, that I wasn't the first to lose a son, others lost children and they survived it.  You get up every day and move on a little more, until one day you realize, you made it.  You made it through the dark and through the storm.  Scarred, tired but stronger and more resiliant, able to stand the next battle a little stronger.

I've been in the so called 'headspace' I know how I would react and as it's been pointed out, you have NO idea wat people posting here have been through.  Just because they choose not to share it doesn't mean they haven't been there.

I didnt mean it like that. Its all these people who are calling the act selfish. Its not. Its a personal chioce, for those people who chose to leave their loved ones behind they can't see any way to get better. They dont realise.