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What would you do?
My boyfriend doenst like what I do... I love to model.... I love him devon Aug 07 05 04:08 pm Link You are bound to hear a lot more of this in replies to follow, "there's a bigger issue at work here..." Aug 07 05 04:20 pm Link Ask yourself what is lacking in your relationship that would make him feel the way he does. What I would do is of no use to you, since we are not the same person. Aug 07 05 07:40 pm Link I can't say what I wouold do. But I would think the number one priority would be an honest discussion between the two of you. What is it about modelling that bothers him so? Aug 07 05 07:46 pm Link do what you do ...and if he doesnt like it..he will either get over it..or find someone else that does something more to his liking best of luck Aprille Aug 07 05 07:52 pm Link Me ex wife didn't like that I photographed women for Boudoir portraits. I enjoyed this type of work and I made money at it. To her it felt like I was cheating on her. As much as I tried to talk it out with her it didn't matter what I said. I pulled back on that type of work and lost money because of it. These jobs led to other jobs for these clients. Eventually it was just one of the factors that led to our divorce. You can't please everyone. In the end you have to be true to yourself. Aug 07 05 07:57 pm Link With a name like ModelDev, what did he expect? ;-) Seriously, if this is your form of artistic self-expression, he has to understand that. But you also have to understand why he feels the way he does. It's all give and take, communication, compromise, etc., etc. Alls I know is that it would take someone unbelievable to get me to put away the camera. And I mean that literaly. If I did that, I wouldn't believe what I was doing. I'd probably have to be institutionalized. Aug 07 05 07:58 pm Link You've been modeling for 13 years. How long have you had the boyfriend? Aug 07 05 08:05 pm Link this is one of those problems which show up for many models .. here is my take on it if you REALLY want to continue modeling as you do (glamour & glam-nude) 1) try to talk it out quietly with him, about what -actually- bugs him a. modeling in -any- type at all b. modeling glamour (with nudes) / (without nudes) c. comments dumb a@# men make when they see your images d. the -danger- factors: mugging, killed; or you leave him for someone 2) if he cannot talk quietly with just you ... both go to a therapist and work it out one way or another 3) if he will not go to a therapist ... then YOU must decide if he is really "the one you want to spend the rest of your life with his quirks" good luck to you! this is NOT going to be easy to solve!! Aug 07 05 08:40 pm Link Well if you were modeling before he met you then keep on modeling and he has to learn to live with it. If you give in to him now he will control your sole the rest of your life. He will bend and then break your spirit and YOU ARE HIS. Be true to yourself and do what you want to do. Dump him if your live is not your own. IMHO of course. bs Aug 08 05 11:30 am Link I think the root cause might be trust and insecurity in the relationship in general. You need to talk to each other about what's really going on. Good luck Devon. Aug 08 05 11:39 am Link You've really got to decide. Do you want to have a boyfriend or a modeling career. Unfortunately when it comes to boyfriends opinions, for me personally, I say deal with it or leave. & if they leave their not worth it to begin with. self conscious b*stard. Aug 08 05 11:44 am Link If you love modeling, do it. Who cares what he thinks. If he doesn't like it then it's his problem, not yours. That's why I don't have a boyfriend.  You have to please yourself first and do what makes YOU happy. It sounds conceited, but life's too short and precious to worry about stupid stuff like your boyfriend not approving of you modeling. If somebody doesn't accept me for who I am and what I do, then they're history and they have no respect from me.Aug 08 05 11:49 am Link We are all here because we've found an area most people never use or at least never use to the extent we do. We have had the chance to open a creative door that many people don't understand. It doesn't matter whether your a model, artist, musician, or photographer. We create.. This is our passion. We are all very fortunate if we can share this with our loved ones. Sadly many times they don't fully understand what it's like to have the chance to block that creative door wide open. They think we are in this for hooking up or who knows. It's all about the art! Coming from experience, don't let the creative door close to please anyone. "This is who you are not what you do." I wish you the best, Mark Aug 08 05 11:51 am Link Hi Devon, Andy's 2 cents worth. (woohoo, I'm up to 4 cents today). You were obviously modeling before the current BF if you've been modeling for 13 years. It is part of who you are. There are other people giving input, but here's mine. If you quit modeling for your BF, you are killing a little bit of yourself. The likelyhood is that your BF will like you less even though you're not doing what he hates, because you will like yourself less for the void in your life. Your BF needs to respect what and who you are, and not only accept your modeling but respect it. My plain and blatant advice 1) Get BF to appreciate what you do or 2) Dump the BF (regardless of love) or 3) Dump the modeling and be unhappy. Aug 08 05 11:57 am Link if he loves you, he'll get on board or he'll be gone..maybe not now, but he will be...i have seen it many, many times.. it is my experience, the harder you try to hold on the something, to control it..the easier it slips through your fingers... Aug 08 05 12:12 pm Link Posted by Venus: I couldn't have put it better myself. Aug 08 05 12:20 pm Link I would tend to agree with the second post regarding there may be a bigger issue. Ask yourself (and him) this question, does he not want you to model or is he uncomfortable with some of the outfits you wear (or don't wear)? While he is most likely proud of you (and the way you look) consider that any one of his friends could be pulling down your pictures off the internet and leaving them some where for him to find, or his mother, or his boss... Aug 08 05 12:37 pm Link How can anyone love you and want to take away your soul at the same time? Aug 08 05 12:49 pm Link No one can answer this but you. You know the relationship and how good it is outside this issue. You didn't mentioned whether he loves you. ???????? Mike Aug 08 05 12:52 pm Link Look at the reality of your situation; If modeling is part of who you are and he doesn't like it, then as much as you love him, he doesn't love you that much. Posted by ModelDev: Aug 08 05 12:56 pm Link Posted by ModelDev: If all else fails, give him an ultimatum. Modeling is something you apparently want and love to do. He can take the low road (out the door), or he can take the high road and accept that part of you. Aug 08 05 01:15 pm Link Posted by ModelDev: I tend to agree that there might be an underlying issue involved. My husband did not like it at first. And it took him a long time to really talk about what it is exactly that he didn;t like. It turned out to be that I had this whole other part of my life that he was not included in, it was like another world. So, over time, I included him in my decisions and talked openly about my jobs and my TFP sessions. We'd sit down when I received my photos/tear sheets and go through them together. I was treating it as any other job and trying not to talk shop at home so I could concentrate on family time and what he did during that particular day...I never knew that it was a problem. Aug 08 05 01:23 pm Link You can date a confident man in a relationship built on trust ... or unsupportive and insecure little boy full of jealousy and fear. All up to you. Choose and live with the consequences. Aug 08 05 11:23 pm Link Devon, when it boils down to it, is if he loves you enough he will support you in your modeling because its what you love to do. but dont live your life thinking I should of done this I should of done that....make your own decisions which are never easy...I want to say that if you give up your modeling just because he doesent like it, what other things will u give up just because he doesent like it...you have to draw the line somewhere...put him in check and remember sweetie, your a model Im sure there is more fish in the sea for ya! angela xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Aug 08 05 11:31 pm Link Aprille wrote: i agree Aug 08 05 11:35 pm Link Break him off a piece of your mind! Say, "this is what i do, this is what I love to do, if you don't like it I'll find someone who will." He'll probably be pretty pissed but in the end there's two things that can happen:1. He'll leave you and bitch 2. He'll stay and bitch Either way it's gonna suck. He aint gonna change over night- Trust me. Aug 09 05 12:16 am Link ModelDev wrote: Devon, Aug 09 05 12:25 am Link ModelDev wrote: Geez, just looked at your port and no wonder. Maybe if you'd skip the pink shots he'd be more amicable. You don't have to take your clothes off to model. Aug 09 05 01:20 am Link Ugh. not this again. Thank god my boyfriend likes to model with me whenever he gets the chance. I show him my pictures, they turn him on. Of course, I have searched for such a boyfriend for a LONG time. Because, if they have a problem with modelling, they will always have a problem with something. I have had bfs in the past consumed by jealousy whenever I left the house...I wasn't modelling then. In many cases I think it is, in fact, a deeper issue, and has to do with control and ownership of other humans. Trust is the antidote to jealousy, and without trust, no relationship will survive in any sort of functional manner. At least that is what the self help books tell me. Aug 09 05 01:40 am Link ModelDev wrote: Dump the chump! Aug 09 05 01:43 am Link I had a model with an interfering boy friend. I quit photographing in the middle of a scheduled session and kicked both of them out of the studio. The boyfriend was getting on her nerve but was, apparently at the time, more important than her career. According to my network she isnât doing, and hasnât done, any modeling since. I scheduled another model but she cancelled because her boy friend objected. Likewise, we havenât heard anything from her, since. If you canât work it out, then you have to decide which is more important; modeling and making your own decisionsâ¦or the boyfriend ....Thom Aug 09 05 06:30 am Link |
