Malinaa wrote:
I am soon going to change my profile text and was wondering what your thoughts and advice would be.
Thank you in advance because you seem to keep this going even if it must require lots of efforts.
Greets!

Malinaa,

Everything in your bio is fine except for this sentence, which doesn't make sense:

"Modeling and acting is something I do besides studying for the simple reason that I enjoy it and want to develop it as professional as possible, so I can spend more time within this industry."

What I think you're trying to say is, "In addition to modeling and acting, I like to study because I like it."

Since the sentence doesn't add much impact to your bio anyway, you could take it out and be just fine.

Good luck to you!

Tremmy wrote:
your opinion would be appreciated!

Hi Tremmy,

The biggest statement that jumps out at me for improvement is this one:

"I am currently interested in 'enhancing' my portfolio. there is not much at the moment, but a journey of a thousand miles always has 'the first step'... I believe I will get there."

To me, this could be interpreted that you are happy wandering around those thousand miles and enhancement will just happen along the way. A potential client might be turned away by the idea that it is entirely on them to give you direction.

Wandering isn't bad; it's a great way to seek out who you want to become. But having some direction or at least a vision in mind so you know when you've discovered that someone--that's important too.

Instead, maybe something like this reflects what you actually meant to say: "I am always looking for unique ideas to enhance my portfolio on this journey of a thousand miles."

...It's not amazing but it might get you started. Good luck!

Cheyenne Demus wrote:
Can I get an opinion please?

Cheyenne,

Your bio has a good skeleton, but I don't think it reflects the message you're trying to send. Grammatical mistakes are the most blaring; I'm not saying you need to be a spectacular writer but following the basic rules will improve your perceived credibility.

Your main message seems to be professionalism in all situations. If that is the case, I'd take out smiley faces and fix that grammar. Sentences begin with a capital letter and end with a period, a space comes before the next one, etc. You mention you are a perfectionist. Making these changes will demonstrate that much more clearly.

If I were to summarize your bio, I'd start with something like this:

"I am easy going, enthusiastic, and punctual. I'm always keen to add creative concepts, implied nude, body part modeling, and anything commercial. While I have tons of ideas I work hard to be open-minded and achieve your project's vision. I have experience in acting, promotional modeling, fashion shows, music videos, and hair shows.

I can travel up to ___ miles from Chicago without any extra fees.

Respect my time and I'll respect yours. If you're serious, contact me!"

Like I said, it doesn't have to be an English graduate paper. It should still sound like you.

Good luck out there!

Necia C wrote:

I like how concise your bio is. One note: Swavorski = Swarovski

Harlotti wrote:
I was wondering on whether I could get some advice on my bio Thanks

Harlotti,

My suggestion for you is to shorten your opening paragraph to not include how long you've been modeling or the locale of the photographers you've modeled for. Why, you ask? Because ultimately, in the end, all a potential client cares about is results. Taking that extra info out leaves more opportunity for a client to read about what you really want them to know about you: that you have experience in certain genres and are looking to expand the quality of your list.

Something like, "I'm interested in modeling lingerie and anything fetish. My wardrobe is very diverse and includes alternative clothing options such as latex items and a prom and wedding dress that can all be used to make magic happen," helps draw a clearer picture of what you have to offer--and it sounds like a lot.

I hope this helps.

Randy Potvin wrote:
I'd like to know!

Hi Randy,

Your bio has good bones but sounds a little cookie-cutter. Networking, expanding portfolio, being easy to work with--these are all great goals and qualities to have, but to stand out it you need to be more specific. For example:

"To achieve my dream to be an actor and model, I'm here to network and build a portfolio that stuns. While I include some ideas in a list below, I'm willing to try anything that will help me achieve my goal."

It's your dream; fight for it! Good luck.

M A U I wrote:
I would say it has a fun and a serious side although I would love some opinions..

E L I N wrote:
I'd like to have your input on this please

Elin,

I like that your portfolio is simple and straight forward. You include pertinent details and organized it well.

Good luck!

Axioma wrote:
Did an update, would love a review

Axi,

You've chosen an interesting format for your bio and I kind of like that. Because its broken up that way I had to read it more carefully--which isn't a bad thing.

Heather Smythe wrote:
Very interested

Heather,

Do you work in business? Your bio reads like a portfolio update--and that's not a bad thing. That means its simple, specific, and only includes applicable information. It encourages me as a reader to spend more time looking at your portfolio rather than trying to pick out the important stuff.

Meghan Devlin wrote:
I wonder.

Great bio! Enthusiastic, high energy, positive and clear. Those are all attributes I look for when hiring a model. Excellent text here, don't change a thing.