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Reasons for Not Responding- A Model's Perspective
I respond to my messages about 75% of the time, but I must admit that I don't respond to everyone. Not getting a response doesn't seem to bother some people, but others are bewildered, hurt, or even angry when they don't receive a response to a message they sent. Everyone has different feelings on this subject, and I'm certainly not going to say anyone's particular feelings are right or wrong. Honestly, I understand people who don't respond, as well as those who always respond, and all the folks in between. My hope is that we can perhaps shed some light on the reasons WHY models don't respond, and hopefully this will help the senders of these un-responded-to-messages realize that 1.) it's nothing personal, or that 2.) perhaps there are changes they can make to increase their odds of receiving a response in the future. Below I have included two different lists of why I personally don't respond to messages sometimes. The first list includes reasons why I may not respond to an initial message, and the second list includes reasons why I may stop responding after I have begun a dialogue with someone. I encourage other models to post their reasons here so we can add to this list and use it as a reference. REASONS WHY A MODEL MAY NOT RESPOND TO AN INITIAL MESSAGE: 1.) The message isn't specific-doesn't mention if the shoot will be paid or TF. 2.) The offer is insulting. 3.) The original message is more than a couple paragraphs long. I love specifics, but there's just no need for people to tell their life story in the initial message- it can be very off-putting. 4.) The photographer sending the message doesn't have any MM models credited in their port, and no "credited" photos I can look at. I like to check references from random models of my choice, not have the photographer only giving me names of ones they want me checking with. 5.) The senders portfolio hasn't been updated in more than a year, no "credited" photos, and no link to outside work on their profile. 6.) I get a bad gut feeling, or the sender seems like a complete jackass/delusional- this can include unrealistic demands on profile, excessive bragging (which usually points to extreme insecurity), members of MM for years with few or no friends or tags on profile (they seem to be generally inactive), people that go to great lengths to try and convince me what a "nice guy" they are, anyone that seems overbearing, like they might be drama to deal with. 7.) The message doesn't ask for a response. Messages like, "get in touch if you ever want to work with me" or "let me know when you're in my city" etc. 8.) The photographer includes details about their appearance. Example: "I'm a 28-year-old fashion photographer with blond hair and a good build." This sends the message that they're looking for something other than a shoot. 9.) I just plain forget. When I'm traveling, sometimes I'll open a message and won't have the time to adequately respond. From the time I open that message, I get tons of others, the message gets buried pages back in my inbox, I get busy, and I forget to go back far enough to find it again and respond. There's no excuse for this, but it does occasionally happen. REASONS WHY A MODEL MAY STOP RESPONDING: 1.) The sender is clearly not reading my responses and doesn't answer questions. 2.) Several weeks or a month elapse between more than a few messages (ie: we've been corresponding for 3 months, and still haven't set up a shoot). 3.) Sender refuses to provide their real name, or any contact info. 4.) Sender becomes creepy (ie: say things like "well I'll be paying, so you'll do what I say"). 5.) Sender "failed" the reference check. For me, this usually means that more than one reputable model had significant negative things to say about them. Jan 02 13 10:04 pm Link I have always wanted to work with exceptional models, and fresh models. So very few of the models I have worked with are on here and very few have modeled beyond what they did with me. However I am known to some who are on here and some of the models who are not on here would respond to references as well. So in some ways my approach doesn't mesh with your standard check list. So would it be worth while to try to set something up with you, cause you carry a lot of visual energy (just discovered you actually). Jan 02 13 10:27 pm Link Too much ego in the first few messages will make me feel like navigating the conversation is a lot of work. If you combine that with just having stuff going on with me where I don't feel like putting forth all that energy into communicating with someone, I may simply stop responding. Jan 02 13 10:33 pm Link Great thread ...Hope to see more models viewpoints on this subject ! Jan 02 13 10:35 pm Link Fashion and Flash wrote: You may be a perfectly decent person, but for me, no verifiable reputation or web presence equals a No. I have another full time job, so I simply don't have the time or inclination to try and personally do background checks on people. Unfortunately, trusting a photographer with no reputation based solely on references of his/her choice of models that are not on MM would not be a wise decision. Jan 02 13 10:48 pm Link OOohhhhh  (just kidding)  Seriously, very good information, and I hope this is helpful to photographers who may not understand or appreciate why they don't get responses or why responses suddenly stop. Too many people forget that others don't have unlimited time, and likely have other obligations that need to take precedence. For as often as threads arise with questions about this sort of thing (from both sides of the PM) it might be nice if something like this can be into a resource for newbies to learn from. Jan 02 13 10:54 pm Link The classic hasty generalization. I have many ports here and there, show/sell in galleries as fine art and am known in a number of underground circles. Oh well!!! Another rejection...you get used to them after a while, makes the exception that much more appreciated. Jan 02 13 10:55 pm Link I've never just dropped communication with someone. I will politely decline certain offers (which some folks don't handle well), but I always respond if for nothing else so that the person knows the message was received/read/considered. Also, because I have OCD issues, I try to make sure responses are sent out in 24 hours or less. Not everyone has time to be attached at the hip to their smartphone to that degree though. Jan 02 13 10:57 pm Link I think most do not answer back if they do not get what they want. Jan 02 13 11:11 pm Link Trying to justify being rude....now that's something I don't see everyday. Jan 02 13 11:15 pm Link Fashion and Flash wrote: Perhaps you didn't completely read (or understand) my response? I'm not making any assumptions about you at all, simply saying that based on your current profile, it wouldn't be worth my time to try and get references on you and verify your reputation. Others may feel differently. There's nothing wrong with choosing not to work with MM models, or with only having a few "friends", just realize that it limits your opportunities with the models here on MM. If you're not comfortable with the outcome of your decisions, perhaps you should change something instead of bitching about it and getting butthurt when you're rejected. Just a thought. Jan 02 13 11:18 pm Link Glenn Hall - Fine Art wrote: Not justifying anything, simply providing reasons. Jan 02 13 11:19 pm Link Pretty much just about sums it up honestly lol. Only thing not up there. I won't work with a photographer if every single shot they have in their portfolio is a workshop shot. This can mean a nonresponse, because its kind of hard to say "Oh hey I wont work with you because most of your work isn't your own" While workshop shots aren't bad, if someone else is setting up your lighting every shoot (i've seen some with it EVERY single shot) and I can tell (especially if i've been in the area a while), its just as bad as not having credited work to me. Made that mistake once and worked with a photographer who didn't know his lighting from his gigantic rear end. Jan 02 13 11:25 pm Link This topic seems to be coming up a lot recently, huh? For my part, I try to respond to everyone who sends me a message, but I will avoid responding to someone who gives off the vibe that they will become aggressive if they don't recieve the answer they want. I've only had a few of these in the years I've been modelling, but it's not something I want to risk happening again. One of them got really weird. Jan 02 13 11:28 pm Link Glenn Hall - Fine Art wrote: Ever since I joined this site, I have regularly heard it said that.. Jan 02 13 11:30 pm Link no loss here at all. I call it for what it is. Jan 02 13 11:35 pm Link So many MM models shoot themselves in the foot. The ideal is to build bridges, network, add and grow your portfolio and make money. Difficult to do if you won't reply or stop suddenly. If someone has offended you or they fail the 'reference' check or for any other reason you don't want to work with them. Tell them you're busy. Tell them you aren't available to shoot or tell them about their poor references but say something . I know some here are big fans of references but many of the shooters who may offer payment will have no or few references. That said. If you are going to call yourself a professional model then act professionally. Reply to emails and calls. If someone is rude or aggressive and or you decide for any reason you no longer want to work with them say so. If they continue CAM and block them. A MM model approached me about a shoot. I replied, nothing. She then wrote me from a CL ad. Not knowing it was me. I wrote her and mentioned her initial tag here. She said that paid work came first and I was offering TF. How would she know when she never replied to my message and again she tagged me. Models do yourself a solid. Respond to all serious offers, TF or not. Being in business means being about business. Jan 02 13 11:51 pm Link Tony Lawrence wrote: Why dont we just let the models speak Tony , sit back and perhaps learn something ? Jan 02 13 11:54 pm Link Nice to see an experienced model state what should be evident but isn't always for others. You might want to add that you would likely not respond to requests outside of certain structures like PM, email, etc. if you don't do that. Truly and sincerely wish our paths cross someday..... Jan 02 13 11:55 pm Link Garry k wrote: My bad. Jan 03 13 12:07 am Link It also helps to listen to what the llamas who do respond (negatively) say: I PMd a llama about 6 weeks ago requesting a TFP shoot and she politely declined, saying she liked my work but felt that it wouldn't add to her port. I'd sent her my usual generic "no real concept, but you have a nice look and I'd like to work with you" message that I usually open negotiations with. So I went back, looked hard at her port, thought about what she didn't have and came up with a concept sufficiently stimulating for her to change her mind. We now have a shoot booked for next month that she's sufficiently interested-in to have taken a day off from her day-job to attend. Just because a llama shoots (for example) art-nude, does what you do differ significantly from the other shots in her port to justify a TFP shoot with you? (In the case of pay-offers, llamas should just take the money as the quality of the images is pretty much irrelevent.) Jan 03 13 04:13 am Link 
Photographer Posts: 106 Sarajevo, Federacija Bosna i Hercegovina, Bosnia and Herzegovina quote: 4.) The photographer sending the message doesn't have any MM models credited in their port, and no "credited" photos I can look at. I like to check references from random models of my choice, not have the photographer only giving me names of ones they want me checking with. question to you: how you expect for photographer to have MM model credit if models do not answer to photographers' call without MM model credits???? Jan 03 13 04:46 am Link
Photographer Posts: 106 Sarajevo, Federacija Bosna i Hercegovina, Bosnia and Herzegovina DougBPhoto wrote: disagree. Jan 03 13 04:58 am Link For me, it's plain and simple: the project doesn't appeal to me, or the photographer's calibre is not up to par. I used to reply with some polite, "This trade project is just not right for me at this time." I then would offer my rates if they were still interested in using me. And WOW -- you'd think I had asked them to be my personal maid for the next month. Then I nixed the rates portion, and still got photographers belly-aching over me not wanting to do a project with them. So these days, I just don't respond. I have a busy enough life as it is. Jan 03 13 05:05 am Link I still think it's rude and unprofessional to leave someone hanging. Without a reply you don't know if you should go find another model or give it some more time. Here's the problem, you assume that you're just one in a long line of succession and the photographer will just move on to the next one on his list. It may be that you fit a specific need in the shoot and he'd rather have you. And some of the reasons are just rationalizations. If you can articulate a reason in your posting then you could articulate the reason in a reply. Or just a simple, "I'm going to have to decline your offer." would be nice. Jan 03 13 05:44 am Link Vector One Photography wrote: +1 Jan 03 13 05:58 am Link Vector One Photography wrote: I think the erroneous thinking here is that by virtue of being a photographer one automatically has a professional relationship with a model. Jan 03 13 06:05 am Link If someone is polite and sends a msg its not that hard to be polite back regardless if you wish to work with them or not. Even a Thx for your interest but ill pass on this occasion is all that is needed and just remember the person who you feel is not worthy a reply just may be the one whos ass you may be kissing one day  Jan 03 13 06:13 am Link That all sounds entirely reasonable to me. I'd add that it would make sense to me to not respond if you are just seriously not interested for any reason - too many photographers get seriously butthurt and will nag you for reasons or try to change your mind. Some will take it to higher levels of drama..... I have a list of reasons I don't respond as well - I wonder if I should post it elsewhere to get that conversation started as well..... "Life is short, and time's expensive" Jan 03 13 06:33 am Link mark hollywood wrote: When I started off here I got a lot of non-response - I was only reaching out to fairly established llamas for the most part..... Jan 03 13 06:36 am Link Vector One Photography wrote: yes, that would be nice. except for the butthurt responses you often get... Jan 03 13 06:39 am Link Here's the thing: I know that I'M okay with a "no reply" -- even prefer it in many circumstances -- but I know that many others here, particularly photographers, are NOT okay with it. So, do I risk losing future business and reputation by unintentionally "snubbing" people? No. When someone takes the time to send me a request and I'm not interested, I send a reply. While a no response may be the "thing to do" in the professional world, and I accept that, many here don't understand that or live in that world. There's a lot of fragile egos, especially when you're encountering amatuers who take rejection personally. For this reason, I never say anything like "I don't think your work matches my skill level" or "I don't think you're right for this project", nor do I say "Not interested, here's my rates" -- some people can handle this honesty, but most can't, and I know many who would prefer a "no response" than one of these responses, however honest and kindly intended! I'm not at all surprised to hear about butt-hurt backlash when I read these dialogues! If I think the photographer would be great for another project, I offer that. Or, if I'm really not interested, I say thank you, and mention what I'm currently working on. More often than not, it's about genre differences than quality differences. I find that when you get a certain caliber quality portfolio, the amount of lame requests diminishes. You might get someone, occasionally, who feels they really can bring a lot of "spark" to your portfolio and turning them down IS the worst decision you'll ever make. Best of luck with these guys -- no matter what you say, if your answer is anything but "Yes, of course!" be prepared for some "How dare you, nobody rejects me!" kind of response. At which point you roll your eyes and move on. Jan 03 13 06:50 am Link MelissaAnn wrote: I hear a lot of complaints about photographers not providing enough information in a first message, but one model showed me the first message she got from some guy. Jan 03 13 06:54 am Link Fashion and Flash wrote: You got a polite explanation. Not everything works out for everyone. I have several ports, some of which are mainly for storage and display of images in specific styles. They have few friends or tags. So, I don't use them for initial contact, precisely because they don't let a model see my interactions. Jan 03 13 06:57 am Link Garry k wrote: This. Jan 03 13 07:07 am Link Here's where the junk mail/telemarketer analogy breaks down, IMHO: Junk mail and telemarketers are impersonal. Both use a mass "shotgun" approach to doing business. Spam as many people as you can and hope for a few bites. If you're on the receiving end of that effort, there's no need to respond. When I'm interested in working with a model, I take the time to write a personal message to her. If she's provided a name, I use that in my greeting. All I expect is a personal message in reply. If she declines, I send one more message thanking her and wishing her well, and that's it. If she doesn't reply at all, then I'll assume she's not professional enough to work with anyway. Jan 03 13 07:24 am Link I don't participate in the forums too often, but this thread caught my eye. In the years I've been a member here, I'm hard pressed to think of a time when a message I had sent to a model (or anyone else on MM) has been totally ignored. FWIW, I respond to each one I receive. And while I agree that messages should be kept concise and to the point, doing so may still result in messages consisting of multiple paragraphs. (And before I'm accused of hypocrisy, I'm rewriting my profile so that it is more concise and to the point!) However, I do disagree with the following as being a sound basis for a 'no reply': MelissaAnn wrote: Models in my portfolio are not credited for one of two reasons: Jan 03 13 07:25 am Link My messages are usually brief and to the point. I even say in my profile, which many do not read, PLEASE respond back, even if with a no thanks. I think it is just being professional. Take a few seconds and respond. It also gives you the opportunity to state why you are not interested. I have sent messages to models, did not get a response, then later was contacted by that model wanting to do a shoot. I always respond, and to those models it is with a not interested because... Treat others as you would want to be treated, and remember, fill your piece of the world with love. Jan 03 13 07:26 am Link I don't see your first reason, REASONS WHY A MODEL MAY NOT RESPOND TO AN INITIAL MESSAGE: 1.) The message isn't specific-doesn't mention if the shoot will be paid or TF. I would think this is a reason to reply. If everything else looks good, you would think you would write back and ask if it is TF and give your rates if you are only interested in paid work. Jan 03 13 07:37 am Link L Cowles Photography wrote: +1 - I agree - it is a simple question - Jan 03 13 07:49 am Link |
