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Models: ever feel judged for your looks?
Sep 02 13 01:17 am Link Sep 02 13 01:24 am Link Sep 02 13 02:17 am Link ...i can has nipples? O.o Sep 02 13 02:21 am Link From your portfolio, I'm getting a yes on that. ![]() Sep 02 13 02:34 am Link Gianna Virginia wrote: not that I'm aware of... Sep 02 13 08:51 am Link Anna Adrielle wrote: I do the same thing! I was bullied all through school. I am so careful to make sure that no one I went to high school with finds out that I'm a model. I don't even want them to see my clothed shots. Sep 02 13 09:00 am Link I have a friend that is absolutely gorgeous. She started out as my secretary over 20 years ago. She was gorgeous then and still is to this day. I remember co-workers thinking that she was dumb. She was and is very smart. She is shy and giggles a lot so they just assumed with the giggles and her looks that she is dumb. I have to admit that it is tempting to hate her because she is so beautiful, but she really is a sweet, caring, giving person. I had another co-worker that was also beautiful. She was quiet and shy. People used to say that she was stuck up because she was pretty. That wasn't the case at all...she was just really shy. Sep 02 13 09:11 am Link Elizabeta Rosandic wrote: yeah... Sep 02 13 10:04 am Link Anna Adrielle wrote: I was bullied all through grade school severely. Seven years of abuse. I'm sure it has impacted my psyche in more ways than I'm aware of. But as far as my pics, I'm sort of the opposite. I post them all over facebook. Those people who bullied me look pretty weathered now, its an interesting irony because I was teased because I wasn't pretty like them. Well, they haven't kept themselves up and it shows. Sep 02 13 10:48 am Link Gianna Virginia wrote: that's funny, cause that's not how it went for me at all. My bullies are quite succesful in life... most of them were guys, and the majority of them are in sales right now (where it's actually helpful if you're arrogant, macho and a bit of a bully) doing quite well for themselves. so that sucks. Sep 02 13 10:52 am Link Anna Adrielle wrote: I'm of the mindset that what goes around comes around. Karma as they say. Also considering your age (younger than me) you don't always see the effects of life on a person until they get into their 30's. At least that's been my experience. You have nothing to hide from them. But I understand your fears. Bullying is very traumatic. Sep 02 13 11:02 am Link Everyone on this planet is judged by their looks one way or the other. I saw a study a few years ago where they gathered some lawyers to conduct some fake interviews. Two lawyers posed as the candidates who were applying for the same position within a firm. They would have one guy who was a real GQ type - very good looking young man, but he had hardly any experience. The other candidate was an average looking heavy-set man, but was a Harvard grad with plenty of experience. I forgot how many times they did the interviews, but they hired the good looking guy every single time. It's the way of the world. Sep 02 13 05:56 pm Link Yeah i def have problems like this. The worst thing happened a few days ago, this one girl (who i really really liked) who always calls me to tell me about her issues or whatever because i'm a good listener, i kept noticing she would have parties or i'd hear about them but i was never invited. i asked her about it and she was like "oh i didn't think you'd come, you're always busy." so i mentioned the convo to a mutual friend, just casually, and the friend was like "oh i can tell you right now she doesn't want you there. you'll steal all the attention." i was shocked and really hurt. apparently my company isn't as important as my "friends" having a better chance with the guys. real mood booster. and then there is always the general cattiness, and sometimes when i meet chicks they're like "wow, you're actually really nice, i thought you'd be a major bitch." ouch?? Sep 02 13 08:12 pm Link Bill Tracy Photography wrote: You are right...it is the way of the world. I remember seeing a story on 20/20 or 60 minutes (some show like that) that was about beautiful people getting preferential treatment or average looking people. They had the same results with job interviews. Sep 02 13 08:45 pm Link Caustic Disco wrote: Makes me wonder if they would be stuck up if they were beautiful or successful as a model, etc. Sep 02 13 11:34 pm Link Hey... to each of you ladies that I noticed mentioned you were bullied... those people were idiots and they probably still are idiots. I've interacted with some of you more than others, but I feel pretty safe in saying that they are the ones to miss out, because you each seem like awesome women, and beautiful as well (icing on the cake, as it were.) People think that being a bully is being strong, but it is the bullied who are the strong ones, and those who do the bullying are the weak. You are each considerate to try to keep them from knowing of your successes as it would make them all the more insecure, jealous, and unhappy, perpetuating that the only way they can feel better about themselves is to try to tear others down. Those who picked on you... they were the real losers PS: Yeah, some of us guys, even photographers, can get judged because of our looks. Sep 02 13 11:50 pm Link For starters I would like to congratulate you ladies on not taking the troll bait, that actually made me laugh how everyone successfully ignored them. For the subject I would like to separate being a beautiful woman from being a model. My family and friends don't know about my modeling. We will just leave it at that it doesn't really affect the bottom line. As far as being a good looking person it does tend to bring some interesting reactions from other people. I am actually one of those people who, unfortunately for me, looks better in person than on a photograph. Saying that it doesn't create problems is a lie. There used to be girls being complete bitches to my face but then whispering to each other as they walked behind me things like, "I wish I was as skinny as her and I love her hair." Luckily I am also someone who couldn't give a damn about what everyone thinks so most of that sort of stuff I just ignored and still ignore; these days it's actually more of a source of entertainment and amuses me. I love people and a beautiful woman doesn't make me jealous or envious, I'm just glad that she exists especially if the beauty is from within. Sep 03 13 12:07 am Link bullying says a lot more about the bully than the person being bullied. Sep 03 13 12:09 am Link Caustic Disco wrote: I had problems in college with my female roommates come to think of it. They didn't want to go out with me because they said it wouldn't give them "a chance". I almost always had a boyfriend back home so I wasn't even looking for guys. Sep 03 13 05:26 am Link Caustic Disco wrote: I have a "friend" that only calls me to chat or invite me to yoga or meditation groups. But never to parties or anywhere where men are. I stopped talking to her. If I see her at yoga I say hi and leave. She's very fake, she always wants to give me a hug and all that jazz. I just cant stand her anymore. Sep 03 13 06:36 am Link I was bullied to death from elementary all the way through highschool. I actually dropped out because I couldn't take it anymore. I was shy as a youth... but I loved drama class and singing and talent shows. I was a toothpick because I didn't go through puberty until much later (started in highschool actually). So, having been tall and doing modeling, lead roles in plays and singing in talent shows.... im sure that probably stirred something up in those kids that were so mean. My family and friends would say "they're just jealous" but I never truly understood that because if somebody was talented and beautiful... I looked up to them and admired them. I didn't throw shit at them in the halls and scream "flat chest" and "disgusting" at them between classes. Yes, those things happened to me. And I wasn't the least bit of a bitch. I was painfully shy and quiet, but happened to shine when I was "in character" if that makes sense. Girls and Boys were equally mean, so I don't know what that means. I still don't get it to this day and it's been ages since I left school. Now those same assholes will message me on Facebook and be like,"omg girl, you live in hollywood?!! I should come stay with you!! I knew you'd always make it!" Really? You don't remember telling me that I didn't deserve that recognition award in school because I wasn't that good of an actress and someone else should have gotten it? So yeah. That's my story. Haha. Sep 03 13 03:17 pm Link Eurocat wrote: I've gotten that from every close friend I've EVER had. Sep 03 13 03:21 pm Link REED Photography wrote: People often assume that if your pretty and quiet you must be a snob. If you were unattractive and quiet, no one would notice or even care. Sep 03 13 05:49 pm Link Gianna Virginia wrote: Actually, people still assume about someone being stuck up or snobby... when they might really just be shy, introverted and/or bad at names. Sep 03 13 05:58 pm Link I've had jealous girls thinking that I'm going to steal their boyfriend's... loll... Sep 03 13 06:17 pm Link Skyler Bleu wrote: This is why I date social rejects Sep 03 13 06:21 pm Link Danielle Reid wrote: Please allow me to introduce myself (LOL) Sep 03 13 06:31 pm Link Eurocat wrote: lol never thought about that, i wonder! Sep 03 13 06:40 pm Link Isis22 wrote: yeah i have a man too and everyone knows i'm not a flirt AT ALL, so i don't get it! lol Sep 03 13 06:40 pm Link Gianna Virginia wrote: i just think that's gotta be such a sad life, only goal in the world being to attract men/be the hottest chick in the room. ugh. Sep 03 13 06:42 pm Link I know a model that is absolutely stunning (her work is in my port,) and she said she was viciously made fun of when she was younger and I still can't understand why. It really sucks cause I feel like it's partly the reason she doesn't seriously pursue a career in modeling, which blows cause she's 20, 5'8'', 120lbs and gorgeous. I would kill to have her be my go to girl but she doesn't seem that interested and when we shoot she'll often comment about how she's fat or unattractive ![]() Sep 03 13 06:52 pm Link DougBPhoto wrote: Haha nice try Sep 03 13 08:10 pm Link Elizabeta Rosandic wrote: I couldn't agree more. Sep 04 13 03:17 pm Link Gianna Virginia wrote: How do they "treat her badly"? Sep 04 13 03:21 pm Link Kind of a catch 22 being beautiful, isn't it? The word beautiful implies a judgment by definition because beauty is a relative concept. Someone or something is beautiful only because someone or something else is not so beautiful in comparison. Most people - especially models - like being told they are beautiful so, in that sense, they all love being judged. But if the judgement is negative? Well, you better shut the hell up bitch! It's rather inconsistent. One measuring stick of maturity is the development of an internal locus of control within the personality. If you truly believe you're beautiful, nothing anyone else says, positive or not, is going to harm or over-inflate your sense of self. An adult who does not assess his or her self-image based primarily on what others are telling them is far more secure in him/herself. S/he may feel mildly flattered, or perhaps suspicious, of another's compliments. By the same token, s/he may feel slightly annoyed with another's insults. But the feelings aren't overwhelming in either direction. This photographer finds that sort of confidence incredibly beautiful! It should be said that, given their age/stage of development, children and teens are far more sensitive to external influences and, as a result, are more susceptible to difficult emotional experiences when exposed to both negative and overly-positive criticism from others. Anyone who treats a young person in an emotionally abusive manner is a criminal in my book and should be dealt with by the justice system. But one of the tasks involved in maturing into adulthood is the development of a strong sense of self and it is concerning to me how many adults find it so challenging. When an adult overreacts to others' criticisms, what I see is a waste of invaluable psychic energy by a person struggling with the challenge of establishing a strong sense of self. The difficulty lies not in the others' judgments but in how we react to them. The way to address the difficulty is not to pass judgment on the other in return - because that's what I see in some of the comments in this thread - but to minimize the impact of their hostility on us. In this effort, it helps to keep in mind that those who try to diminish us openly with their words and actions have a very low sense of their own self-worth and will try to cut you down so they'll have someone to feel superior to. It feels more right, inside, to pity them than to be angry with them. So, we can remain stuck in our self-induced victimhood by feeling deeply offended by others' treatment of us or we can grow into self-assured, confident human beings capable of fending off whatever others might say with an unimpressed shake of the head and a "are you for real?" expression on your face. Then turn your back and walk away, model. And don't look back. They don't deserve you. ;-) Sep 04 13 04:35 pm Link Jahanara wrote: There is no shortage of photographers (and models) who are too stupid to realise that they are stupid. Sep 04 13 06:42 pm Link natural beauties of qld wrote: It's always inspiring when someone overcomes the predictions of those that didn't see "success"... Sep 04 13 11:34 pm Link Jay Black wrote: lol, wut? Sep 05 13 12:24 am Link Anastasie wrote: Impressive anti-bullying ad. Sep 05 13 01:45 am Link |