Hunter  GWPB wrote:

No, no, no, no ....

A man expressing his emotions is sexual harassment.   At the very least, harassment. 

Seriously, you would expect someone to call you the next day to tell you they had a good time?  Oh, what horrible behavior!  Why would you tolerate someone treating you so poorly? 

The rules are:  Whatever a person enforces as the rules.

Ha.

Ok, so if a dude called me and I had a shit time but was courteous, I'd nicely make him know we're not dating.
Done.

If said person kept calling me over and over, I'd bring a couple guys to his house.

Jules NYC wrote:
It's all bullshit.

I think 'The Rules', that stupid book that women understood as the bible about relationships.
Wait three days for someone to call you to say they had a nice time?

Please.

I am SO glad I'm with a MAN who had -0- problem expressing his damn emotions.
He knew what he wanted and I was on board.

Done.
Not difficult.

I was going to just keep kidding around with you, but I had to go to work for a little while.  On my way, I stopped at the convenience store and one of the headlines on the Philadelphia Daily News was: (left out to avoid upsetting the censors).   I expected the article to be about sexual harassment.  It is not.  It is about accepting or rejecting people for a relationship based on who the other person voted for.  Except, since an unwanted advance is sexual harassment (possibly) and a person who is offended by your choice at the ballot box, would be more inclined to consider the person registering such a vote to be making an advance that is unwanted.  Where as, without the toxic political environment, that person would be okay.  Having voted for the correct person is akin to being a hunk and the wrong party relegates an advance to the dweeb side of attractiveness.

In light of wanting to have a serious discussion, I backed up to revisit what you said.  Your man expressed his emotions.  You had zero problem with it.  What did he express?  Would you have been fine with it if anyone had expressed the same thing?  Or was it situational because he is handsome, articulate, kind or possess some other quality that would make him more tolerable than some other guy?

Hunter  GWPB wrote:
I was going to just keep kidding around with you, but I had to go to work for a little while.  On my way, I stopped at the convenience store and one of the headlines on the Philadelphia Daily News was: (left out to avoid upsetting the censors).   I expected the article to be about sexual harassment.  It is not.  It is about accepting or rejecting people for a relationship based on who the other person voted for.  Except, since an unwanted advance is sexual harassment (possibly) and a person who is offended by your choice at the ballot box, would be more inclined to consider the person registering such a vote to be making an advance that is unwanted.  Where as, without the toxic political environment, that person would be okay.  Having voted for the correct person is akin to being a hunk and the wrong party relegates an advance to the dweeb side of attractiveness.

In light of wanting to have a serious discussion, I backed up to revisit what you said.  Your man expressed his emotions.  You had zero problem with it.  What did he express?  Would you have been fine with it if anyone had expressed the same thing?  Or was it situational because he is handsome, articulate, kind or possess some other quality that would make him more tolerable than some other guy?

He was comfortable letting me into his life. It wasn’t difficult. He possesses a lot of great qualities. I think his value system is strong and he has a lot of common sense. He’s smart.

I think what really was awesome is that he let me into his life when I didn’t have a job and I didn’t know what the hell was going on. He visited my father in the hospital when he was sick. That was the first time he met him. When my father passed he witnessed a lot of tears and was empathetic to my pain.

I’m the one with the fancy degree but he didn’t care about status or any accolade I ever received. He loves my voice and I even brought him in the studio when I was recording for someone else. I never do that!

He is a genuinely nice person and at the end of the day, I don’t worry about infidelity or unkindness. He genuinely likes ‘me’. I have simple needs.

Kelli wrote:
In my experience I don't think that there is a high rate of sexual harassment and sexual assault in the modeling industry. Just by ratio, in comparison to everyday life, I've dealt with more bad apples outside of the industry rather than in the industry. I have had had extreme situations with a few photographers, but most have been so professional, fun, nice, respectful etc. Where as in every day life, the ratio of nice guys isn't as high.

I completely agree.

rick lesser wrote:
Everyone is discussing this. I always found it fascinating that our industry is about people taking off their clothes while stylist are adjusting fixing pinning  putting their hands in places that are unheard of in  other professional settings. We think nothing of it it's work it's what we do.  I just finished a job with a friend of mine who is a wardrobe stylist and she kept telling the male model to keep his pants off because they had hired him for his butt.  He was shooting with the female model and they were in bed together creating a romantic setting. Everyone was laughing and joking he loved it. Okay he had a great butt I could see her point. We take things for  granted at least I do as a man but the models I've worked with just chalk it up to the job and they're fine running around half-naked.   I would think nothing of telling someone her bra was showing or guy his fly was down. I automatically tuck garment tags in a shirt or blouse.  Is that inappropriate now in this new climate? I  have lived in this fashion world for 30  years the beauty industry for another 6 years before that.  Our freedoms in this industry are so much different than professional environment but one thing I understand is never cross the line. I would never in a million years think to be inappropriate with a model or anyone in this industry, it's a profession this is our jobs. I apologize for being naive and not thinking that just because the people I have surrounded myself with in this industry are professionals not everyone is. Do I think this industry is going to change as far as how we act while working no. Do I hope this industry will be more aware of personal space and professionalism and start showing new respect  towards each other yes.

What you describe seems kind of tame and far from sexual harassment.  I did a shoot one time for the Netherlands.  I was single at the time and would never dare do it with a boyfriend.  I was in lingerie and the article was about spicing up your love life. I played the third-party for the ‘sizzle’. It was shot in Brooklyn and when I arrived, there was a woman and a man, both had relationships and were in bed.  I found the whole situation hilarious. It was actually a lot of fun and there was no harassment of any kind.

I’ve changed really fast in runway shows and didn’t think anything of it who was looking back stage.  Most people are professional and it’s not like they haven’t seen it before.

Sexual-harassment is completely different; it has a very threatening factor.  I felt it at my current job and hated it. I removed myself in every single way from this individual.  Just his hands on my shoulders upset me so much considering all that he was doing.  Conversely I’ve had women and men working on set touching me and I didn’t think anything of it.  It was for a purpose not an interruption of personal space.