This is not about flaky models/photographers but maybe about those trying to do the right thing!!!
I'm pretty new here and only done maybe a few hundred shoots but already have had my share of cancels and maybe because I shoot all TF.
By far the "excuse" I get the most is "Grandma"!!!
Grandma is usually sick and needs comforting!
Grandma had an accident and needs to get to Doctors appointments.
And of course, sometimes Grandma passes away, more than once!!!
I realize these things DO happen to Grandmas, but boy is Grandma vulnerable!
So Photogs, what excuses do YOU get?
And Models, I realize there are flaky photographers too..., do their cameras break?? What excuses do photographers give???
John

a model's boyfriend found a nutria and then left to play golf and expected the model to stay home and take care of it instead of going to her photo shoot.

I remember one thread where a model posted a picture of her gnarly car accident to show that some models are telling the truth.

The one time a photographer cancelled on me, he said that he lost something and needed to look for it.  It was something like a book that he said he lost.  He was obviously lying.  This was after he had made a massive fuss of me in PM's, saying that he needed to work with me as soon as possible.  We even met for coffee a few days before he cancelled, and that meeting went well.  I have no idea what his problem was.  Serious flake time...

I've heard quite a few.  The 'My Sister's drunk and She was My ride' is probably the most memorable.  It was 2 in the Afternoon.

Feel fortunate to hear anything at all, some simply vanish.....

In time you learn how to weed out the flakes. A lot of it comes down to the value of the shoot, especially on TFP shoots, but paying models doesn't fix this problem either. I've had agency models flake on shoots, once even when their agency rep was on-set waiting for them to show up. When one of them flaked, the agency called her and she said she got a higher paying gig working a trade-show that weekend and forgot to call. I've had one famous Playboy and Penthouse model flake on on the same shoot once where they were actually being promoted for signing autographs at a trade-show. They were each supposed to work a different day and on Day 1, the Playboy girl neglected to tell me she was driving in from out of state for the job. She LEFT her house in Los Angeles 30 minutes before I needed her in the booth and she figured it was no big deal to show up 4 hours late because hey, she was in Playboy! When I realized this, I had a backup model available and it worked out great. I told the first model not to bother and she literally begged me on the phone not to cancel her because she needed the money. I told her not to bother coming and to go back home. She finished driving all the way to Vegas, came to the venue (which, thankfully, she was not admitted into) and got in a screaming match with me on the phone while she was standing in the parking lot demanding I hire her for the day.

The next day, Ms. Penthouse was almost the same deal...confirmed with her 2 days prior to the show and she flaked. When I finally got her on the phone (1 hour after she was supposed to arrive) she told me she just woke up so she had to shower, do her hair, makeup, pack clothes, and drive from across town, which would take about 3 hours. I told her to go pound sand and used, again, my backup model.

But my personal favorite were the two models who were roommates who flaked together. I can't remember what the shoot was for but some kind of commercial shoot in studio. From experience, I always ask models now if they have reliable transportation. I presented about a dozen models to whom I had worked with before to my client and he didn't like any of them... he had a certain "look" in mind which he couldn't articulate. So I ran some casting calls and booked one that he picked. She said to him that her roommate was also a model and he wound up going with both of them. Turns out their "reliable transportation" was the 2nd model's boyfriend, who just got out of jail a few days prior. So the boyfriend shows up to pick them up for the shoot and the 2nd model figures that she wanted a booty call more than working the gig so those two are having sex in her room while the 1st model is freaking out because she didn't have cab fare to get to the studio (this was pre-Uber). So here I am, in the studio, with my client, a makeup artist, and an assistant, and we're all wondering where our models are and why neither of them are answering the phone. 30 minutes after call-time, the 1st model finally calls me, crying. She explains everything and said neither of them would be able to get there in less than an hour, which we couldn't do because of another shoot booked after theirs in the studio. So all of that because one model wanted to get laid by her out-on-bail boyfriend. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

On a side note, flakes are so bad in the adult industry that contracts from major producers actually have flake clauses in them. Not many people know this but the girls that are signed to major studios like Wicked and Vivid receive a flat annual salary and are required to perform in a set number of videos each year or each month. In addition, they are required to go to autograph signings, work booths in places like AVN in Vegas, stuff like that. The girls are paid a salary every month out of their annually contracted rate. In their contracts, it's --VERY-- clear that if they are 1 minute late to any of these events, their pay gets docked and the more late they are, or if they flake altogether, they take a major financial hit.

I was talking to one person in the business that told me there were actually girls who were working for almost free because they flaked so much. That they actually had paychecks in the negative because of this, and they just don't learn how to show up on time. So the porn producers love it when a girl shows up 10 minutes late because they might be able to get her to work the gig for pennies.

I remember one model who was a no show.  She actually responded to my inquiry as to why she no showed.  Her excuse:  she decided to go shopping instead.

Haven't had a flake in a long time. Most often it don't get that far. There are a couple I can count on. They'll show up if they have to hitch hike. :-)
Don't remember the last time I shot TF.

Well if they keep their grandmothers away from reindeer this wouldn't happen. 
Especially in the 9.5 non Christmas months. 

You think that's bad. The last model to flake on me used the excuse (exact quote):

"hi sorry my dog die"

Apparently I do not even rate a grandma.

car troubles

who knows .. but it's kind of a long drive for them usuallyso..maybe sometimes???

oh.. and a couple didn't read where I am and called me about 15 minutes before the shoot still 2 hours away

a couple did show up..then immediately drive off

and I've spent more time than I wish to remember sitting in a parking lot wondering if I was stood up or they are in the hospital
(always stood up..so far)

I carry a novel in the car now

Oh fur sure... dying grandmas... car problems... alarm didn't go off... major cramps from 'time of the month'... trying to find lost pets... traffic is horrible... cell phone died... I've heard every 'no show excuse' on Planet Earth.

BUT... here's one I actually believed.  Callie calls... she's in her apartment alone and calls 911 before she calls me... she says 'Gary Gary... I fell down on the floor and I can't get up'!  (I hear a fire truck siren in the background).   She tried to put her skinny jeans on while wearing her shoes and got her feet and legs stuck inside the jeans, and fell on the floor, severly spraining her wrist.   Parametics had to cut her out of her jeans...