Paolo D Photography wrote:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

You're late. April Fools' Day was three months ago.

Focuspuller wrote:

You're late. April Fools' Day was three months ago.

can i be early for next year? maybe i'll bump this thread in 277 days.

Kevin Connery wrote:
Everything old is new again.

This is just a variant on a letter to the editor in The Economist back in the 1970's "Plan for the improvement of the English Language". (Which has more recently been [somehow] attributed to Mark Twain.)

j_francis_imagery wrote:
I’m surprised language is still free and in the public domain. Sooner or later some mega corporation will “embrace and extend” English into a proprietary version we have to pay a subscription to use.

I have the free version but it has a lot of ads.
Before writing this post I enjoyed some Tree Top Apple Sauce. No sugar added.
Made with 100% USA apples. Grower owned since 1960.

rick lesser wrote:
I was wondering how my lab top was going to deal with the single letter?

Your lab top certainly has more than one problem