neoracer wrote:
You probably triggered her, maybe it was something her dad used to say to her idk. You asserted your patriarchal privilege
and she wasn't going to be subjugated by a male lol

This!  "On your knees" can be taken in various ways not related to photography.  Communication breakdown! 

I have close frriend, a photographer who happens to be a black man.  Because there were no pictures of him on the Modelmahem profile, he wrote to her a description of himself because there are people on this website who have been know to be racist towards photographers.  I personally know of a few models who when the door opens and they see a black man, they suddenly have to cancel because they don't shoot with black men.  Yes, that is what they said to my friends!

Anyway, my friend is arranging to shoot with her, as she is in the same town he recently moved to.  After that one message of his with a description of himself, she ghosted him.  Months later they bumpm into each other at a beautiful location where he was shooting landscape.  She approached him asking if he shot with models?  He recognized her and proceeded to tell her so .. she was embarrassed but offered up that she thought he was after a date because "Modelmayhem has gotten so bad!"  So they are NOT going to shoot because he is now biased towards her. 

Communication via messages is difficult to read the intentions sometimes, so it's best to communicate via speaking on the phone and actually meet in person before shooting.  I'm old school about that.  I wont even consider a shoot booked until I speak to the model.

GSmithPhoto wrote:
she suggested a solution which she was comfortable with - why not change focal lengths, shoot 3/4 length images to make sure she's comfortable with the concept/theme?

You are on to something!  Two invisable tools I carry with me are (1) a sense of humor (2) being able to improvise.   Having shot wedding for years, I have had to use both quite often.   How is the OP so sure that a stool wont work?  I've shot with chairs, and stools many times in the portrait studio with much success.  Event photographers have to be able to think fast on their feet.

UPoz4me wrote:
So my question is, Is being asked to pose on your knees that much of a problem?  I've worked with many models over the last 30yrs and never had this issue. Did I do something wrong?

You’ve probably answered your own question, but no, not necessarily. You didn’t accept the model’s suggestion of a short stool. The model didn’t accept your solution of kneeling. No harm, no foul. Carry on.

UPoz4me wrote:
I had a first the other day.  In texting ideas about an upcoming shoot with a model, she said the location had a short background.

From this statement, I come to the conclusion that the model is familiar with the location and knows about the drawbacks of the particular site.  The background information about pattern, color, texture, etc. are rather irrelevant.  There isn't a backstory of who started the text conversation or the precise site or location being discussed.

UPoz4me wrote:
She suggested a small stool to use, I said that could work or "on your knees" so as not to be taller than the background.

The reason for the post has arrived, and is served with a side of brevity.   In the first part of the statement, (the model) suggests a solution to the perceived issue, countered immediately by a dismissal of her solution, and a solution that only takes the interest of the photographer as important.

UPoz4me wrote:
In my mind a short stool is not very flattering to the model, the knees can be more flattering and would work with the theme we were going to shoot.

Justification for why he texted what he did (in previous quote).  Being that nowhere in the post did he mention a Catholic Church, a mosque or a synagogue, conclusions can be inferred re:theme.

UPoz4me wrote:
Apparently this was a major issue.  She cancelled the shoot 2 hrs. later not being able to wrap her head around my suggestion. I said "Uh ok, I only meant so as not to be taller than the bg, it's a common pose, take care".  Respecting her decision I made no further contact.

The call for photographers to light up their keyboards in fury that the model (who was professional and honest enough to cancel) had an issue with being in an enclosed space on her knees with some man who is shooting an erotic theme...followed on by the "respect" statement as if to distance himself and hold himself blameless for making her uncomfortable.

UPoz4me wrote:
So my question is, Is being asked to pose on your knees that much of a problem?  I've worked with many models over the last 30yrs and never had this issue. Did I do something wrong?

Closing statement - trying to appear reasonable while making the model appear otherwise.  Harkening back to historical times when any GWC willing to pay (or offer prints/publicity/publication/etc.) could often get a girl naked in compromising positions.   

Back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Mark Salo wrote:
What sort of a short background?

Just curious why it matters?  Is a short stool appropriate for cloth backgrounds, but not for wood?

Mark Salo wrote:
Why does she want that background?

404: Information not found.  Nowhere does it state that she requests (whatever "Background") due to her familiarity with the location.

Mark Salo wrote:
You certainly avoided a difficult individual.

IMHO, if given the opportunity and desire to work with this model, in this location, shooting the content, I'm sure I could come up with several creative alternatives which respect her as an individual, honor her goal of being comfortable, and provide me with the images/content I am looking for out of this shoot.

Model MoRina wrote:
I'd love to see the actual screenshots of the conversation.
The one who can't figure out what went wrong is the wrong person to summarize the issue.

I would love to see the screenshots of the conversation too.  Thank you for posting!  So far you are the only model to comment.  It's important to hear both sides of this story.  Without know the words written between the two, we will never know.

It is obvious that communication between the two broke down.  Many people don't communicate clearly when writing messages.  Time after time typed messages get misinterpreted.  This is why in person teaching in the classrooms is so much better than remote. No matter how good a person thinks they are at writing, it is still possible to be unclear or not clear enough to others. We try, but what the heck!  As good a writer as I believe myself to be, I've had my comments misunderstood here on the Modelmayhem forums!  It's called communication break down!   

Call each other on the phone.  Meet in person.  Scout out locations together.  As great as the tools are when used properly, communication technology does not replace the human connection made in person.